Fighting Loudly
by mswitsend
Summary: What happens when love doesn't present itself in its purest form... warnings: this is not light or fluffy... this is a DARK story full of adult themes. Please approach accordingly.
1. Chapter 1

Greetings readers... new fanfic.. going a bit dark (I know... I'm not exactly lighthearted).. I will try to keep the chapters shorter than my usual. Hopefully, I can update faster this way.

I'm back on the mainland, still working on my book and soon searching for gainful employment.

The title of the story comes from a Sia song called Bird Set Free. I thank marsupial1974 very much so for it. I didn't know what to call it but she's good like that. Thanks babes.

Thanks for having a go at it. Cheers.

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" _Unconscious female in her 20s. Possible overdose. Possible assault. Police on scene._ " They groaned as they heard the call out followed by the address. They turned on the lights and sirens. While they preferred police to be present at questionable or hazardous scenes, in this scenario it meant things were being treated as a possible crime and everything had evidentiary possibilities. They were still being called to treat the victim but they were also going to be second-guessed on everything if this went tits up. _Just another Thursday_. The woman driving thought as she gleefully made vehicles give way to her ambulance. Her partner had hopped in the back and was likely already snapping on rubber gloves and grabbing the jump kit.

It didn't take long to arrive at the location. It was a club in the warehouse district. Someone's idea of a grand locale for partying with lower overhead. The police cruiser had its lights on and was parked blocking off an alley. The exited the ambulance and walked with purpose. The officer on scene rattled off what he knew. A young man called police on his mobile as the girl he was pounding went into some sort of seizure. He thought she might be under the influence given her focus but it didn't stop him or slow him down in having his way with her. He was sitting in the back of the cruiser for further questioning. Her clothing appeared to be ripped and while it was possible things had been consensual, the officer wasn't chancing losing the guy.

She was laying on her side with a light blanket covering her. A kindness probably from the officer. Naomi had taken the kit from her partner who knelt and began assessing the patient after pulling the blanket off.

"I'd say a huge yes on the drugs. Eyes are absolutely fucked."

"They haven't added that category to the reports. Define please." She dropped her voice. "And remember we've got ears around us you twat."

He looked up and saw the cop not exactly hovering but looking on. "Fully dilated. Pulse is reaching tachy and we've got plenty of vomit. Yay." Naomi resisted slapping Shaughnessy only because of the audience. She would talk to him later. He was excellent at his job but a total dildo otherwise. She finally looked at the girl after handing over the manual suction to clear out the airway.

"Fuck." Her partner looked at her. "I know her."

..

The machine was beeping steadily. She'd clocked off her shift about two hours ago. It was creeping on 9 now. She'd gone back to hospital after getting her personal vehicle. She was sitting on an uncomfortable chair fast asleep. She hadn't wanted to leave in the first place but being on duty pre-empted any thoughts of chivalry and care. She'd made one call on the way here, leaving a message as she didn't think the owner of the phone would bother answering that early.

 _"Hey I need you too look into a couple things. You have connections and I need information. You wouldn't believe who I picked up on a call tonight. And before you say any crap about privacy, don't. Doesn't apply right now."_

She said the name and left word as to what information she wanted. There was an increase in the beeping and her eyes popped open. Her hand went to the limp wrist on the bed and tried taking a pulse herself. The girl was still unconscious and likely having dreams. Her heartbeat came back down after a couple of minutes. Naomi rubbed the back of the woman's hand. "What the hell happened to you?" She said it out loud and jumped when she got a response.

"Bitch sister turned bitchier. Major loss. Add time, obvious self hatred, her sister's dicksplash of a boyfriend and you have total destruction."

"Fuck Effy... why do you do that?" She watched as her long time friend walked into the room with a folder under her arm. For once, she was dressed sublimely and warm. Naomi thought that was perfectly rational given the chill in the hospital. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see her." She approached and handed Naomi the inch-thick file. "All I could find from the moment you left Bristol to now. Some of it was public, some not." She paused as her eyes took in the sight of the girl on the bed. "She's in pain."

"What?" Naomi looked at the woman lying there attached to electrodes and tubing. She looked for signs of distress.

"Not right now. But she's been hurting a while according to what I found. You won't like it." Effy had become a private investigator. She mostly dealt with corporate espionage and white collar crimes. But she had contacts and access to a lot of information not available to the general public. She also had certain connections and personal skills that opened confidential police files. There had been a number of redacted files that gave specifics on the woman's past according to an unnamed informant.

"Great." She stopped as she braced herself for what she might read. She knew Effy didn't mince words, nor did she downplay things. If she was warning her about the file, then she needed to be ready for it. She lifted her eyes and caught the gentle touch Effy placed on Emily's cheek. It was a show of tenderness not always on display.

"I've got the day off. I can sit with her if you need to sleep."

"I'm off the next 48 so I can catch up on sleep later. I want to be here when she wakes up." She watched as Effy pulled up another chair and settled herself into it. Apparently, she wanted to be here too. Naomi started to flip through the file.


	2. Chapter 2

next chapter... slow going but still doing a chapter about once a week or so. Moving was a lot more than anticipated energy wise but it's all good. Shout out to marsupial1974 as always for keeping me sane.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Cheers!

I don't own Skins.

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Chapter2

 _Emily could hear the music playing inside as she swayed with her outside. They giggled. She could feel her soft hands in her own. The moment their lips touched it was like the world stopped existing. It was only them. She could taste the sweetness of her lips. Maybe it was juice of some kind from a mixed drink. Maybe it was just how she tasted. She could have stayed like that forever. But it was gone. A blip in time._

 _She was standing in a club. Music blasting, lights pulsing. A pair of hands groping her arse as she leaned on the bar. She couldn't remember his name. He was a friend of someone's. His hand crept up under the back of her shirt. She blinked and she was at a dinner table wearing a fancy dress while people talked and laughed about something she didn't care for. She looked across the table and was met with the mirror of her own eyes. She forced a smile. Another blink and she was in the alley. She could smell it. It was on her. It was pungent. A mix of alcohol, sweat, and full garbage bins._

Her eyes popped open and she gasped. It was fairly dark in the room. There was only a sliver of light coming in from the edges of closed drapes. She could make out one person to her left, asleep in a chair. The hair was long and dark. The features, fuzzy at first, but she knew her. Her arms were heavy. She tried willing them to move only to be met with resistance. There was an annoying beeping coming from her right. She slowly turned her head. Her eyes focused on another sleeping form. The blonde hair was longer than she remembered but it was her. She felt the tears in her eyes before she closed them again only to fall into the tunnel once more.

..

 _Emily remembered the end of school year party. The twins would be attending college in the fall. She hadn't wanted to come but her sister had insisted. She would never admit it but she was in heaven. After a half a dozen drinks, she'd found the courage to walk up to Naomi and asked her to dance. She had been met with a dazzling smile. They were still dancing together three songs later. She could scarcely believe it was real. She was having fun. And from every indication, so was Naomi. Her dreams hadn't prepared her for how it would feel, what she would recall later._

 _A soft kiss. Her first kiss. Then another. Fingers in her hair, fingers touching her face. She felt their tongues touch. Her dream girl pressed against her. She wished she could step outside herself and watch it all happen. Even with the alcohol in her system, she wanted every second to be burned into her memory._

 _But it was the slap from Katie she would remember sharply. It lit a fire across her face. She might have shoved her back. Her memory was fuzzy there. She recalled being yanked away from the warmth, from her dream girl. She could recall hearing some yelling as she stumbled, perhaps the sound of a scuffle. When she got to her feet, she found herself receiving another slap. It was shocking. She hadn't done anything to deserve it. She vaguely heard the taunts from someone else nearby. It wasn't aimed at her. They were taunting her twin. Asking if they were really identical. Something snapped in Katie and Emily didn't feel too much after the fourth blow._

 _She woke up in her own bed, still dressed. She couldn't remember getting home. Her face, jaw aching. The world swam as she tried sitting up. She was still drunk. When her eyes focused, she could see Katie and her mum sitting on Katie's bed. Both were staring at her._

 _"Katie says something happened at this party. I think we need to have a talk Emily."_

 _.._

Naomi had fallen asleep more than halfway through the file. She hadn't been able to keep reading. The tragedy of it all was too much. She jerked awake and saw that Effy had wandered off. Either she had business to handle or finding acceptable caffeine. She was hoping for the latter. Her best friend was very good at work but right now Naomi needed coffee. _Vodka or whiskey would be better if you're going to keep reading. Yeah cause being drunk would help._ She cracked her neck and looked at Emily.

The wave of sadness returned. _Don't. Nothing you could have done. You weren't exactly in a position to help._ Logically, she knew that. It didn't ease the guilt building up. She looked at the closed file and thought back to the last time she saw Emily.

 _They had been kissing. It had been totally unexpected. Naomi had fancied the shyer twin for about three years but had never really talked to her. At least not outside of school. She'd seen them arrive at the party but lost them in the crowd. It wasn't until a while later, that she felt a tap on her shoulder and was asked to dance. She couldn't believe it. She said yes and went off into the mob of people dancing in someone's living room. Their bodies barely touched the first song but got closer in the second. By the time the third was winding down, they were wrapped up in each other's arms. Naomi couldn't help but lean down and kiss Emily. It was everything she'd hoped for. Time and again. Except for the abrupt separation and fist that landed on her jaw. Katie had caught them and decided to intercede. She stumbled back. There was a scuffle and hands were holding her back, pulling her away._

 _She'd nursed a bruised jaw for the better part of a week. She'd given it that long before trying to contact Emily. From what she'd heard, her twin had done a number on her. When she texted, she received no response. Text after text went unanswered. She finally telephoned but it wasn't Emily that answered. Katie informed her that Emily had been sent away to her grandparents and wouldn't be returning. She blamed Naomi for the turn of events, accused her of preying on her sister. It was vitriolic. The call left her reeling and lost. It wasn't long after that, that her mum Gina had told her about an opportunity for both of them in America. They up and moved in a matter of weeks._

There was movement by the door. She turned her gaze to find Effy strolling in, holding two enormous cups of coffee. "If you weren't straight, I'd outright marry you." Her friend laughed and handed her one of the cups.

"Sexuality is fluid Naomi." She sat on the edge of the bed. "And your Bohemian lifestyle doesn't work for me so marriage isn't a goer."

"You're not exactly bourgeois."

"No. But I do prefer a fine cloth and overpriced bottle of vino." They smiled at each other. Their light banter falling silent momentarily. "Did you finish?" Naomi shook her head. "It's a lot."

"Yeah." She took a tentative sip. "Her parents being gone... that was unexpected."

"It was a catalyst for the rest... that's for sure." She turned to look at Emily who seemed to be dreaming again. Effy hoped they were good dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

another in the books...

thank you to all who inspire me... you best know who you are by now...

side note: the evildoers that wrote the heinous season 7 of our beloved Skins have a new show out... I encourage all to boycott it... evil bastards...

Disclaimer: Don't own Skins but I take great joy in the characters.

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Chapter3

 _The summer before college was spent at her grandparents in Scotland. Her dad hadn't put up a fuss at her going away all summer. Her mum had insisted it had been Emily's idea. She'd sold it as her wanting to explore her ancestry. Seeing it was a small village, it wasn't a foreign concept not having access to the rest of the world. She thought she'd have her cell phone but even that would be have limited reception. Before she left Bristol, she'd tried to call Naomi to apologize, to let her know what was happening. Every time she tried either her sister or her mother appeared ending the call. She thought she'd make a call from the airport but that wasn't to be either._

 _Her sister confiscated her phone as she said her good byes, leaving her cut off from the few friends she actually had. She didn't have anyone's telephone number memorized or even written down. No addresses either. The flight to her grandparents was spent mostly in tears. It was a lonely summer. Life in Scotland with her relatives wasn't something she could get used to. They were lovely people but quiet, settled. She spent her time writing letters to Naomi that would never get sent. By the time she'd returned to Bristol, Naomi and her mum had left town._

 _.._

Effy was sitting by Emily's bed. Naomi had run home to grab a shower and a change of clothes. The look in her eyes was a mix of sadness and anger. She left the file behind as if it was too heavy to carry with her. She wasn't wrong. When Effy had first read through it all as she found it, she felt the weight of it. How Emily managed to make it this long was a wonder. She thought back to their college year together.

 _She'd met the twins on the first day and was unimpressed. Well mostly unimpressed. Katie was almost nauseatingly obnoxious in her quest for supremacy. She casually blocked Effy's path into class and fawned over her. Then she brought up Tony, Effy's brother, and his accident. For whatever fucked up reason, the vain twin thought they could bond somehow. Katie's dream of being top girl in college fell short. After Effy sized her up as a shallow WAG and Emily as a doormat, she seemingly dismissed both of them. To say it irked Katie was an understatement. Her quest for supremacy became her quest for male adoration. If the lad was remotely interested in Effy, Katie went out of her way to seduce him first._

 _Emily was getting used to being ignored all around when Effy took an interest. She would walk close to her in the halls and make a comment or ask something without waiting for a reply. It was happening frequently enough that the shyer twin was on the lookout for her. She first worried Katie would notice and get annoyed with Emily even if she hadn't initiated the contact. She'd avoided her twin's ire by staying out of her way. The summer was still fresh in her memory. She didn't want that isolation again._

 _Effy would watch her and only smile when Emily managed to make eye contact. She wasn't flirting exactly but she knew how people saw her. The mysterious girl who had everyone – male or female – eating out of her hand. She knew that if Katie noticed their interactions she would get the wrong idea. She'd heard the story about Naomi and Emily at an insignificant party. She'd taken in how volatile the elder twin had been. Effy wasn't sure if she cared. She could handle Katie. But she was concerned about Emily. Maybe that's what kept her subtlety present._

 _On a day Katie skipped off with some god-awful footie player, Effy decided to approach Emily directly. She found the younger twin hiding in the library. "So this is your hiding spot," The voice was so soft that Emily thought she'd been imagining it. She turned to come face to face with Effy._

 _"Hi." She blushed as their eyes met. She wasn't sure what to make of her. Effy was beautiful, mesmerizing. "I'm not hiding. I like books."_

 _"Hmm... Katie's out so you're allowed to do what you like." She noticed the slight shrug and the averted look. "You can't be her doormat. She'll hurt you in the end if you let her."_

 _"What? Katie won't hurt me." Even as she said it, Emily knew it wasn't all that true. There had been bouts of anger and physical altercations without merit. They weren't frequent but they existed. "She won't."_

 _"She won't?" Effy was right in front of her. "So she didn't strike you when you kissed Naomi?"_

 _"What? How did..." She looked in Effy's eyes and then looked around to make sure no one else had heard her. She dropped her voice. "You can't say anything about that..."_

 _"You seem quite afraid of her seeing as how she won't hurt you." Emily looked away and didn't answer. She let the silence go on as the twin looked through the shelf of books. She knew it was an evasive action. She's expected worse. "You need to stand up for yourself. She's not bigger than you and all bullies cave."_

 _"You don't know my sister." She continued fidgeting. She wasn't sure what she had wanted from Effy. But this conversation wasn't it._

 _"I know every girl like her. They're all the same." She put her fingers under Emily's chin and made her look at her. "She will hurt you. Worse than she already has... but only if you let her. You can be strong enough." Emily shook her head._

 _"I'm not. It's not just her.. it's my mum too."_

 _"You can be strong. Stronger than them. I can help." For a moment, she thought Effy would lean in further and kiss her. She didn't know if she wanted to be kissed by her but being this close to someone other than family made her lightheaded. She needed, wanted touch. Instead Effy simply whispered in her ear. "Say the word and I'll help." Emily's heart rate increased. She closed her eyes and wondered if she could actually be that strong. She shook her head. Effy was gone by the time she opened her eyes. Inside, she was screaming yes to help but in her heart, she believed it wasn't possible. Effy left school at the end of the first year and didn't come back. It was Emily's last bit of hope torn away._

Effy was brought out of her thoughts by some small movement on the bed. She looked and saw Emily staring at her.

..

Naomi was walking into the hospital when her phone beeped. She'd gone home, showered in record time and then grabbed food for her and Effy on the way back. She stepped into the elevator and balanced everything to see who messaged. The doors on the elevator closed and she couldn't get it to move faster. She looked at the phone again, making sure she wasn't wishful thinking. _She's awake_.

Her mind had played over what she'd read in the file so far. Over and over again as she showered, as she drove. _Parents killed in auto accident... Speed was a factor as they approached a red light and missed making a full stop_. She couldn't imagine losing her mum at any age, let alone before she was 20. While it wasn't anyone's fault, especially hers as she was far away from Bristol then, it was a battle not to feel guilt. She practically raced once the elevator doors opened on her floor.


	4. Chapter 4

it took longer than I wanted to get this up but I blame real life, the World Cup and my need to look for work... as well as lack of focus...

Cheers to marsupial1974 for falling into my web of story ideas... lol... thanks to all of you reading... new readers and my diehard followers. I appreciate you.

Disclaimer: don't own Skins... but thinking of buying season 4 on dvd...

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Chapter4

 _"It's your fault!" Emily jumped as Katie barged her way in. She had been crying. Her extended family had finally left after a week of endless condolences and questions neither she nor Katie had answers to. The lack of answers was enough to declare their authority and demand that James move with them to Scotland. They couldn't see how two girls without a plan could finish raising such a young boy of his temperament and character. They'd argued against it but in the end, the girls agreed to their grandparents' decision. She'd found a moment of solitude before her twin stormed into the bedroom._

 _"What?" She asked Katie, unsure what she was referring to._

 _"Mum and dad are dead cause of you! You just had to be a fucking lezzer didn't you?" The accusation felt like a shot from a cannon. She sprang to her feet, her face showing outrage and anger at her twin._

 _"What the fuck are you on about?" Their faces inches from the other. The pent-up emotions riding the adrenaline. Emily could see herself lashing out, hitting Katie again and again. Taking out her frustrations, her own anger, her sadness on the mirror image of herself._

 _"The night they died. They left the house to find you." The air was sucked out of her lungs with those words. Her mind caving in on itself. The wave of emotions threatening to cascade into herself. "You and whatever dyke you were kissing at the movies." She froze._

 _"What?"_

 _"You heard me. They went off to find you, stop you from making an arse of yourself."_

 _"How..." Emily recalled the girl she'd made a dumb attempt at kissing only to be rebuffed. She couldn't understand how that small act was known to anyone in her family._

 _"Gordon McPherson is how. He saw you kissing some girl at the movies. He couldn't barely wait to get home to tell James."_

 _"But I wasn't... I mean I did but..."_

 _"Yeah well James told mum and dad. She went mad and grabbed the keys. Dad tried to stop her but couldn't. He climbed into the car with her. It's all your fault. Your fault they're dead. You're fault James isn't gonna live with us."_

 _,,_

"Emily." Effy stood up and went to her. "Hey. You're in hospital." She went to press the nurse call button when she saw a small shake of the prone girl's head.

"You're here?" The voice was small and tired. Her brown eyes wouldn't leave Effy's. "Not a dream?"

"Not a dream." She touched Emily's forehead and pushed her hair out of the way. "You're safe."

"I'm not." She tried sitting up but felt dizzy the moment she raised her head. Effy grabbed her mobile and sent off a quick text. Emily's eyes widened. "Who are you..." Her fears surged until a gentle hand on her shoulder and a simple explanation were offered.

"Relax. I'm letting Naomi know you're awake. That's all."

"Naomi?" She closed her eyes. "She's real too?"

"Yes." As she said the word, she heard the squeak of Naomi's sneakers at the room door. "Speak of the devil." She half turned to see her mate standing there, flushed, lunch sack in her hand. She stepped to her and grabbed the bag. She set it down on a side table. "I'll go fetch a nurse, give you a minute." Naomi was staring at Emily and didn't even blink as Effy left.

"You're awake." There was a small nod from Emily. Naomi moved to the bed slowly. It was silly but she thought if she moved too quickly everything would shatter. "I was..."

"I saw you... sleeping... it was a second... thought I was dreaming..."

"You saw that yeah?" She reached her and took her hand after a pause upon reaching the bed. "I.. uh.." She didn't know what to say. There were questions, declarations, apologies. All hanging unsaid. "I'm glad you're ok... Do you... Do you remember anything?"

"How I got here you mean?" Emily looked down at their hands touching. If she died now, it would be cruel but at least she would be happy for a brief moment. "I went out... drinking, dancing... I.. took some stuff."

"Stuff? Do you remember what?" The emergency tech in her was rushing out. It was something she knew and could handle without doubt.

"Does it matter?" She looked away, feeling shame. She'd purposely left the house to get blitzed. Her sister and boyfriend were away on holiday and she was free to her own devices. She wanted to run away from it all. The fastest way possible. She could have stayed home and indulged in all manner of escape. There was a sizable amount of accessible drugs in her the master suite. She shook her head. The dizziness was there but better than a few moments ago. "Can I get some water?"

"Sure." Naomi reluctantly let go of her hand and went into the loo to fill the plastic decanter. She poured a glassful and helped Emily by raising the bed. "Here. Go slow." She drank a couple of sips. "And it matters... they'll ask."

"How'd you find me?" Emily asked, finally acknowledging that this wasn't usual.

"Oh... I was.. I was on duty when the call came in." Naomi looked at the question in Emily's eyes. "The... Someone.. The guy who was.." She'd felt her own cheeks get warm as she thought about who had called it in. The guy in the back of the police car. The guy who had been with Emily. "You had a seizure while... with a guy. He called for help. I work for an ambulance company." The girl on the bed avoided her eyes. Naomi could see the color in her face as she imagined the poorly described situation.

"Not a marvelous reunion is it?"

"It was eventful I suppose." Naomi tried making light. She didn't want things to take a turn. She wondered for the first time if the guy in the car was more than a shag. _Maybe she has a boyfriend now. Maybe you've been holding on to her for no reason_. "Is there... someone I should call? I didn't know if..."

"My sister doesn't know I'm here?" There was a light in her eyes at the prospect that she was in limbo. "No.. there's no one that needs to be called."

"Not even Ka..."

"No!" Emily was as forceful as she could be. "She's out of town with her.. boyfriend. There's no need."

"I see. That would be Luke right?"

"How do you know about him?" There was alarm in her features. Just then, the nurse and Effy walked in.

"Ms. Fitch. So glad you could rejoin the world of the living. Let's take a look at you before we have the doctor come by." The nurse started taking vitals while Naomi took a step back. She'd understood that saying the name out loud had been a mistake.

..

 _It had been two months since their parents' death. Katie barely spoke to her except to remind her of her faults. A constant litany of recriminations. More than once, Emily had thought of leaving but she had nowhere to go. A voice in her head reminded her that she needed to make reparations even if that meant hearing how she was the reason life was shit. She'd come home from work to laughter. It was a weird sound as of late. She walked into the kitchen to find her sister on some bloke's lap. They were both thankfully dressed but disheveled. Their nakedness likely disrupted by Emily's arrival. A bottle of vodka and some unknown powder on the table._

 _"There she is." The male voice echoed in the kitchen. Emily stood in the doorway as her sister looked at her. She couldn't read her eyes. It wasn't quite anger or hatred, not the kind she was used to seeing. "You must be Emily. Your sister's told me all about you."_

 _"Has she? Who are you?"_

 _"I'm Luke. Your lovely sister's new beau. The answer to all her prayers." There was something about him that was disconcerting. Like nails on a chalkboard. Katie had turned from Emily and was busy kissing the man's neck. His hands roamed her body in full view of Emily. He smiled at her. "Have a drink and a seat. We've a bit to discuss."_

 _"I don't think so." She shook her head and was about to leave._

 _"Emily. It wasn't a request." She stopped and met his eyes, suddenly wishing she'd not come home. "Pour yourself a drink and grab a seat. I don't like repeating myself." She stepped into the kitchen, her insides trembling at the tone of his voice and the look in his ice cold eyes. "Atta girl." She took a glass from the cupboard and poured a little vodka into it. She heard a small laugh coming from Katie who didn't even glance her way. Luke tilted his head at the chair and Emily sat. "See... we can all be friends. Drink up."_

 _She lifted the glass to her lips and sipped. Before she could lower it, Luke reached out and pushed against the bottom of it with his fingers, signaling her to finish it. She obliged only because the trembling inside was becoming worse. She finished the glass and set it empty on the table. He took the bottle and filled it. His other hand was groping Katie's arse. She didn't have a good feeling about any of this._

 _"We're going to be mates, you and me." Luke smiled but it was more scary than friendly._


	5. Chapter 5

Another one down... the cup is finally over. Vive la France! Back to your regularly scheduled programming...

The next chapter will NOT be available UNTIL marsupial1974 publishes a chapter in either of her ongoing tales... sooo if you feel the urge, nudge her. Nicely.. but nudge her...

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Chapter5

"You asked her about him?" Effy was standing against the wall, her arms crossed. She was looking at Naomi who was trying not to look at Emily or Effy but instead finding the wall really interesting. "Right off the bat... you asked..." She was whispering. The nurse and the doctor were both in the room and they'd stepped outside when asked to. "Did your mother drop you on your head as a child?"

"Probably." Naomi kicked gently at the wall. She hadn't meant to let Emily know they were privy to her life. "It slipped out."

"Got that MI-0." There was an audible groan as Naomi put the heels of her hands to her eyes. "Relax. Not actually state secrets."

"No. Just need to explain how I know about her sister's boyfriend even though we've been out of touch for... however many years it's been. 'Oh Emily I picked you up while you were busy overdosing after getting fucked by some random and yeah by the way I had Effy pull your records and then some and I now know everything'."

"Not everything." Effy looked at her directly. "We know what's in black and white. We know what someone – a third party – witnessed and reported to the police under strict anonymity. We can't be sure all of it is right or completely true." Naomi gave her a look. "Don't give me that look. There are things not on the report Naoms. I'm not saying she isn't in a world of shit. Not at all. But we don't know _everything_."

"Just enough for me to put my foot in my mouth."

"Well, that happens regularly so..."

"Fuck you."

"You can come in now." The nurse spoke up and Naomi had the decency to blush having been caught cussing out her best friend. Effy simply smiled and walked into the room.

..

 _Emily had drunk half the glass. She was feeling the effects since she'd not stopped for dinner and had only a light lunch earlier in the day. Katie hadn't really paid her much attention the entire time. She was still sitting on Luke's lap, attaching her lips to different parts of him – his lips, his neck, his ear. He was reciprocating in kind as well as feeling her up. Every time Emily had tried excusing herself, he told her to sit. She didn't know why he wanted her there as he wouldn't say anything. He just told her to keep drinking. When Katie slipped her hand to his jeans, Emily stood up._

 _"I'm going up to my room." Luke looked at her. Katie laughed and stared at her. Her pupils were off. She could see her sister had definitely taken whatever powder was there. "You can do what you like." His hand reached out and grabbed her by the wrist._

 _"Not very friendly are you?"_

 _"Friendly? Why? Cause I won't sit here and watch you shag her?" The alcohol was well in her system and it gave her a bit of false courage. "No thanks." He didn't release her even when she tried pulling away._

 _"You're going to sit." She would have sat immediately if not for the vodka in her blood._

 _"And if I don't?" He smiled at her and gripped her wrist harder as he placed a chaste kiss on Katie's lips. "Babe give me a minute with your sister yeah?"_

 _"I can't watch?" She laughed and it left Emily cold. She wanted to run._

 _"Don't worry... I'd let you watch if it was fun. But I think I need to lay some ground rules with her now that I'm living here. Go up and wait for me. It won't take long." Katie kissed him and stood up. Her eyes met Emily's. There was a smugness apparent even through the drug haze. Emily swallowed. She couldn't see how they'd gotten here._

 _"Get used to it Emsy." She walked out of the kitchen and headed up to their bedrooms. Emily shivered as Luke was still holding fast to her wrist._

 _"Sit." He fixed her a stare and she found her knees buckling. She took her seat and dropped her gaze. "Better." He still held on to her wrist. It was hurting but she wasn't saying anything. "Like I said... I'm living here now and we need some understanding." He finally released her wrist. Emily rubbed it and knew it would bruise in some places._

 _"She never mentioned you." Emily was wary of saying the wrong thing but she could feel things already on the cusp of being out of her complete control. She wondered if he would demand she leave. Katie's attitude was a painful reminder that she wasn't really welcome in her sister's presence as of late. "She changes her mind on boys a lot." He laughed._

 _"First, I'm not a boy. Second, we've been together a bit. Didn't think it was anyone's business." He moved closer to her with his chair. "Now that we have that settled and you're aware of the new living situation, let's clear somethings up."_

 _"I won't..."_

 _"Stop right there. You don't dictate the rules." He was smiling but there was nothing nice about it. He looked like a beast ready to pounce and devour. "I'm taking over things here. Means I'll pay the rent or bank or whatever it is the setup is. I'll pay for utilities and food and such."_

 _"That's generous." The moment the words were out of her mouth, his hand reached out and grabbed her jaw tightly at the chin._

 _"Don't. I'm in a good mood and don't think you should try me, Emily. I won't hesitate to hurt you regardless of how I feel about your sister. She'll forgive me faster than she ever will you." He squeezed once and pushed her face away. "As I was saying, I'm covering all costs. Your sister and I moved into the master suite. You're keeping your room. Your brother's old room is becoming a guest room. I'll likely have someone in there every night. Either for security or for business." She was about to ask but couldn't. She was terrified given his little show of unapologetic force. "I'm having some work done in the garage and that area will be completely off limits. With me so far?" He raised one finger. "Don't speak. Nod" She blinked back the tears and nodded once. "Good. Tomorrow you're calling work and quitting. They can mail your last paycheck. Neither you or your sister need to work anywhere else." Emily wanted to ask but was afraid of pushing him. He could see the questions on her face. He took her glass and set it closer to her. "Finish it. If you're good, I'll let you speak freely after."_

 _Emily hesitated. She knew it was a horrible idea and likely end with her getting sick. It was an internal battle. If she didn't drink it and asked what she wanted, he would likely hurt her. His approach so far had shown that. If she didn't drink and asked nothing, she was accepting anything that wasn't said implicitly. If she drank, then she was choosing to do as told, to play at whatever was happening. Tears sprang into her eyes and she put a shaky hand on the glass. Luke smiled as if he'd won the prize. He waited until she put it to her lips before laughing and reaching out, taking it out of her hands. He drank it instead._

 _"I like that. Team player and such. It'll make things go smoother." He set the glass down and poured a shot's worth into it. "Not off the hook yet. Drink that." He passed it to her and Emily didn't think about it. She tossed it back and considered herself lucky. She grimaced and he laughed louder. "Your sister says you're a bit of a prig... I'm not convinced. I think you've potential. Am I wrong?"_

 _She didn't know how to respond to that. She wanted to be anything but what he wanted her to be. But it dropped her back to the same argument in her head. She felt defeated. No matter what she chose, she had already lost. Emily shrugged and kept her eyes cast down. Internally she was chastising herself for being weak, pathetic and worthless. It was only an echo of what she heard constantly. She took a breath. "Will I have to leave?"_

 _"Leave?" Luke smiled. She didn't have to look up to know. She could feel it. "No. This is your home. Me moving in and you staying aren't one or the other. I will, however, expect you to be... available should I need your services." Her skin was crawling as he said it. She wasn't altogether naive and her imagination was running away._

 _"What does that mean?"_

 _"See... you're smart. Asking for details... it's good. Not all the time but you'll learn when to not dig." He grabbed the vodka and poured another shot's worth, gesturing to her to drink. Even as her senses started coasting into a buzzed state, she obliged and drank the spirit. "Good. Sometimes I'll need you to deliver a package or receive a package. Other times... other times I'll need you in a social aspect... company to a business associate." She looked up then. He could see she was jumping ahead, connecting dots. "When I say company, I mean company. If I decide to whore you out, I'd say it." He was blunt but it wasn't in him to dance around. Her eyes were full of tears. He didn't care. "I decide what happens and when from here on out." He stood up. "One last bit. I have people on the lookout for you and your sister. Understand that taking off isn't an option. Now I'm going upstairs to make sure your sister is well cared for." He took a step and leaned down. "You could have had a hell of a show." He laughed as he walked away. She burst into tears once he was out of the room._

..

The girls walked into the room and were met with a blank stare from Emily. She was sitting up, looking marginally less ghostly.

"Do you work for him?"

"Pardon?" Naomi was taken off guard by the question. "Work for who?"

"How do you know of him if you don't work for him?" Emily was gripping the sheet covering her. Effy noticed the tension and stopped walking towards her.

"Emily... we don't work for him." The brunette said it calmly and slowly.

"Then how the fuck do you know about him?" Her voice was somewhere in between a growl and a sob. "How?" Naomi stopped moving once she reached the bedside even as Emily recoiled.

"I swear Ems... we don't work for him." She was finally understanding who she meant and could kick herself again for bringing his name up.

"We don't. I'm an investigator and you didn't have much on you by way of identification... no phone... no purse... You're not a nameless because Naomi here knew you... your records were pulled. It's how his name came up." Effy was skirting the issue of her mate asking for the information rather than the police having it. They'd trusted the name Naomi had given them. After running it and matching the accompanying picture to the unconscious female that is.

"I don't know." Emily wanted to believe they had nothing to do with the demons of her life. She wanted them to be her rescue. It had been the thought flashing through her mind the moment she knew they weren't a dream. _Please don't turn into a nightmare... please... please... I can't keep going anymore. I need help. I need to get away._ She put her head back. "Just tell me... if you work for him... say it and be done with it."

"They don't work for him." A male voice broke through the tension and all eyes fell on a lad at the door. He was dressed up in a suit, his hair a dusty dark blonde. "I do however and I'll be asking you both to get out."


	6. Chapter 6

Greetings all... another chapter... there might be another one by the week's end as a thank you for your patience. Marsupial... this one is for you... love you.

Much love,,, I own nothing...

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Chapter6

"Who the fuck are you?" Naomi faced off against the man in the doorway. Effy shook her head and looked at Emily who was on the verge of a panic attack. She reached out to her and took her hand.

"Like I says. I work for Mr. Martin and he won't want you two hanging around'er. Best bugger off." He wasn't entering further into the room and he didn't bother meeting Emily's eyes or Effy's. He was staring off with Naomi which suited her fine. She needed someone to lash out at.

"Doesn't bloody answer who you are. And I give zero shits about this Mr. Martin. And unless the Prime Minister herself comes down here and politely asks me to leave the room, I'm not fucking moving. And chances are I still wouldn't fucking go." She crossed her hands across her chest. Effy didn't open her mouth.

"Cook. James Cook. And I think if Mr. Martin walked in'ere, you'd be fussing a lot less." He pulled out his wallet. "Maybe you need some sort of recompense for being good samaritans." He started counting out £50 notes. "Maybe £600 does the trick?" He held them out to Naomi who was glaring at him.

"Fuck... off." She stepped in front of him. "Take your sodding money and shove it up your arse. I don't care who you fucking work for. I don't care what you think you can walk in and do. Get the fuck out of here before I call security and have you escorted out. Or better yet... I can call the police and you can talk to them about your employer." Cook eyed her then.

"Feisty. I like that." He finally looked up at Emily. "You know he'll have a shit fit over all this little one. Your sister won't be none too pleased either." When she didn't respond, he tried a different tactic. "Look you both helped. It's appreciated. Truly. Mr. Martin and Ms. Fitch are away and left Emily in the care of one of their security men. Unfortunately, he underestimated how quick she is. He lost her in a crowd, called me but by the time I got to the locale, she wasn't there. I've been looking everywhere ever since."

"Security man lost her. How careless. But thinking you mean goon."

"That hurts luv. You hardly know me." He smiled a boyish grin and touched his hand to his heart. "What can I say to make you understand that I need to care for her? That I need to phone Mr. Martin and tell him she's ok."

"If you want to call your boyfriend, be my guest. But her welfare doesn't concern you or him anymore."

"Naomi." Effy tried interrupting.

"Get out before I lose my patience." The blonde wasn't to be deterred.

"Naomi."

"What?" When she turned around she noticed how scared Emily was. She was literally shaking. She was by her side in a blink. "Hey... you're safe. No one is hurting you again. Not while I'm around. Ok?" She reached out but let Emily decide if she could take her hand. It took a moment but the scared woman linked their hands. Effy stepped to the man who was taking everything in.

"Can we talk outside? Please?" She was stern but managed to meet his eyes and appealed to what she hoped was his better side. He shrugged and stepped out of the room. She took a moment to close the door to the room as she exited.

..

"What the fuck are you doing'ere?" Whispering, he closed the distance between them now that they were alone.

"I'd ask you the same but we both know the answer. You've got to leave Cook." Effy was keeping her own voice low. She didn't need Naomi hearing her.

"I've got my orders and unless..." A nurse was walking past them and he stopped whispering.

"Your orders are shit and you know it. Walk away for a bit. Let Naomi and I take Emily."

"That'll go over like a fart in church Eff." He ran a nervous hand over his short hair. "How'd you find out?"

"Naomi rode up on her white horse as per. She saw who it was and called me. Had me dig around."

"And you what? Handed information on a silver platter?" He was angry at her. She nodded. "Fuck Eff. Do you know what that can do?"

"It can get that girl out of a shit situation."

"And you talk about Naomi's white horse. Jesus." He turned away from her and seemed to be calculating something. "He knows she's'ere. I called him as soon as I found out. He and Katie are in Greece and the flight isn't til later."

"So we've got a couple hours then at least." He turned to her.

"A couple hours? You trying to get me killed?"

"Not today." She smiled at him. "Disappear. Give me an hour. One."

"What then?"

"Then you call the dicksplash and tell him she rabbited. Tell him you'll put more men on it. Cause a scene. Act the tit. You're good at that." He smiled at her. "I can get her to a safe house. Keep her out of sight. Let her recover a bit. She almost did herself in."

"Fuckin'hell. I warned him, I fucking told him he was pushing too far. The past six months..." She put a finger to his lips.

"Stop. I don't want details. Not now. I can handle a lot but I need to get her out of here. I'm opening that door and you need to make it a good show tiger."

"I hope you know what you're doing Eff."

"Don't I always?"

..

 _Katie was sitting on a bench in the park. Her tears falling freely. It had only been three days. Three days since her entire world collapsed around her. She remembered their mum grabbing the keys, yelling and ranting. She was aghast that her daughter would be kissing another girl in public. She'd railed on about it. This wasn't a teenage phase. This was her besmirching the family name, their honor. Their dad tried reasoning with her, asking her to wait until Emily came home to talk to her. In the end it didn't work. They left in the family car only to be hit by a truck that had missed a light. Death was instant according to the police who called in on her and James. Emily wasn't home yet. She remembered asking the officer if there had been anyone else in the auto. She imagined them picking her up and her losing all of them. It was almost enough to make her collapse._

 _She'd escaped the house full of relatives paying their respects and trying to comfort them. She'd left James and Emily there. She couldn't look at them. She knew James would need his sisters. But as the days went on, her anger towards her twin was getting uncontrollable. She'd started blaming her for the accident. She hadn't voiced it. She couldn't. Not in front of James. Not in front of their relatives. It was something for them to deal with on their own. So here she sat in the park, crying. She opened her bag to get tissues and everything fell out. She cursed and sobbed harder._

 _She didn't see him approach. He bent down and handed over a handkerchief while starting to help gather her things._

 _"Such a pretty girl shouldn't be crying as you are." His voice was full of charm. Under other circumstances, Katie might have sized him up as a player but she wasn't in a good head space._

 _"Sorry... Not usually so... blubbery... But... my parents..." Another sob left her body as she pressed the handkerchief to her face. She found herself enveloped in his arms quickly. It was a comforting embrace. The fact he was a stranger made it bearable. She hugged back and could smell his cologne on his suit._

 _"Shh... it's alright pretty girl. I've got you. Cry as you need to." She did just as he said, leaving a damp spot on his lapel. He stroked her back gently while almost cooing words unmerited given they didn't know each other. After a bit, Katie finally stopped outright sobbing and simply sniffled._

 _"Fuck I'm really sorry." She pulled back and looked up at him. He smiled. She looked in his blue eyes and took in his features. Good cheekbones, slightly goofy ears and a grin. There was a clarity but also a sense of strength. There was an electricity between them. "I'm Katie."_

 _"Luke." He pushed her hair away from her face. He used the pads of his thumbs to wipe away the remaining tears. "Better. Don't suppose I can buy you a cuppa and have you tell me whose arse I have to kick to make you feel better?" She giggled and said sure. They walked to an awaiting car where a young man with short dark blonde hair opened the rear door for them. He wore a suit as well._

 _"You some kind of a big deal or something to have a driver?" Katie asked curiously as she got into the car. She didn't even consider the danger of it._

 _"Something like that." He said as he smiled and tugged on his ear. "Driver is Jimmy. Jimmy this here is Katie. Drive us over to the cafe on Queen St would you?"_

..

Effy opened the door and walked in as Cook voiced loudly. "This ain't over. Not by a long shot. My boss ain't gonna be'appy. Not at all. You'd best be gone by the time he gets'ere." He stormed off as he looked at his phone and pretended to be placing a call.

"That could have gone worse. How do you feel Emily? Did the doctor say anything was wrong?" She noticed neither Naomi nor Emily had moved from their spots. They looked like they'd frozen in place and were waiting for something. She went to her bag and looked inside for the clothes she'd brought with her in case she stayed overnight.

"What? No... he wanted me to stay for observation but was surprised that I'm ok. Umm... what?" Effy walked over and lowered the side rail, handing her the clothes.

"Think we need you changed into regular clothes if we're leaving."

"Effy?" Naomi was finally reacting. "What do you mean..."

"I put him off for a bit with some fancy words... not the sharpest tool that one, but I don't want to hang around and see what his 'boss' is like. Don't fancy neither of you want that either?" She was walking to the door, shutting it. "Come on, help Emily change."

"I think maybe I should... you know... wait outside.. be on the lookout." Naomi was already on her way out of the room. A slight pink on her cheeks told Effy all she needed to know.

..

 _The first couple of weeks after Luke's arrival into the picture weren't horrendous. Emily spent a fair amount holed up in her room. She could hear when people were in and out of the house. She could hear laughter and yelling at different times but none of it seemed angry. It was boisterous. She didn't think it welcoming but she also didn't feel as afraid. She'd tried skipping meals the first couple of days and sneak down in the middle of the night, eating while everyone else slept. But soon after, she received a knock at her door at breakfast time and a plate of food left behind. The same occurred at lunch. She had wondered if Katie was softening up, maybe forgiving her in some way. On the fifth day of such activity, a casual interaction with her sister in the hallway cleared up that misconception. One of Luke's boys was tasked with making sure she was taking care of herself. She stopped accepting the plate of food._

 _On the eighth night, she snuck down to the kitchen. She froze when she found Luke sitting there. He shook his head and pointed to the chair opposite him. Emily didn't run as her mind screamed for her to. She took the seat and kept her eyes down. "You're not playing nicely Emily." She remained quiet, praying the ground would shake and open up, swallowing her. "I am here providing... for you and your sister and you throw it back in my face?"_

 _"I didn't." She shook her head. He held up one finger and she stopped speaking. He smiled, knowing how easily he had trained her to obey something so simple._

 _"I sent you food to your bedroom. And you refused that gesture." She swallowed but didn't look up. "First you insult me by not partaking of mine and my boys' company during mealtimes. Then you spit at my goodwill by declining food delivered to your bedroom as a means of showing my good graces. It's a bit rude and ungrateful." She shivered and looked at him. His eyes were cold when they looked at her. She opened her mouth but didn't say anything until he motioned for her to continue._

 _"I wasn't being ungrateful. I was..." She stopped, unsure how to explain. She didn't want his good gestures. But she didn't not want them. She wanted her family. She wanted her old life back even if it hadn't been perfect. What she had now was too unknown, too uneasy for her to settle into._

 _"You were being rude." He sat back in his chair. "I'm here making sure you and your sister are secure. You don't need to work. You have your bills paid. I'm putting food on the table. And you turn away. If that's not rude and ungrateful, what would you call it?" She blinked at him. Her nerves sending out urgent warnings to flee. "My folks... they wouldn't tolerate that. Not one moment. My father would hand me a right beating when I acted out less than what you have." He stood up and undid his belt. He pulled it out of the loops on his slacks. Emily was shaking now._

 _"You can't." The words slipped out before she knew it. Her hand flew up to her mouth as he stopped moving. He stared at her. "I'm sorry... I'm... I didn't..." He grabbed her face like he'd done the first time they'd met._

 _"You didn't mean to what?" He leaned down so his face was against hers. "Didn't meant to be ungrateful? Mean to be rude? Which one?" He squeezed his fingers harder, watching her panic. "Or you didn't mean to speak? To tell me what to do?" Luke let go of her face and yanked her out of her chair. She was bent over the table in an instant. It was too late to fight back but Emily still tried to push against the table. He easily held her down with a hand on the back of her neck. "Stop moving!" He yelled it and gripped her harder. She froze again. Her heart was threatening to break through her chest and through the table. Luke held the belt in the other hand and brought it to her eye level. "I should be using this on you, you ungrateful entitled little shit. I should tan your hide until you can't sit right. Show you I won't put up with any of your disobedience."_

 _She let out a whimper, terrified. Her body trembling. She heard someone walk into the room. In her position, she couldn't turn to see who it was but hoped they would put a stop to whatever was about to happen. Whoever it was was silent. They stood there for a few moments and then their footsteps went back they way they'd arrived. She was alone with Luke again._

 _"I run this house Emily. Not you. Not your sister. Me." He caressed her cheek with the belt as tears spilled from her eyes. She bit into her lip to stop herself from outright screaming in fear. "This is your only pass. From now on, you will eat your meals here in the kitchen with us. You will not be locked away in your room all day. I expect you to be civil. Courteous even." He leaned over her. His body against hers. She closed her eyes and waited. "No more hiding. You only go to your room when I or your sister dismiss you. I told you this was your home and that means your presence is demanded." He stroked her cheek with the belt once more and then stood up, releasing her. She clung to the table as if she would collapse otherwise. "Tomorrow... meals down here. Spend time with the boys who are around. Play cars, video games... make sure the mood is relaxed. They know you're grieving so they won't expect a lot of interaction but they need to see you as part of the house. I want them to feel at home. Now get the fuck up to bed. You refused to eat, so you don't get a late supper. Go."_

..

Naomi was fidgeting. She didn't want Emily to leave the hospital yet but knew none of them would be able to fend off Luke if he showed up. From what she'd read, he was violent and unyielding. Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and swore under her breath. She answered. "Hey babes. Yeah no.. I'm off... I got held up by.. yeah I remember. Dinner tonight... it's on my calendar. I swear I didn't forget." She closed her eyes knowing she'd completely blanked. "7... yes at the restaurant.. I know you can pick me up.. but yeah no.. restaurant is good... yeah ok.. alright.." She ended the call and groaned.


	7. Chapter 7

yes another chapter... doesn't mean I'm doing one daily... it just means I managed to write two close together...

Love you all my dear readers... shout out to marsupial because duh... writing partner in crime that keeps me sane...

I own nothing... except for my own twisted thoughts...

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Chapter7

 _Naomi had finished her first year of uni and was staff at a private club in Berkeley Square. Depending on the day, she could be waiting tables in one of the restaurants or tending bar in the nightclub. She didn't care for the pretense of it all but the wages and tips were fantastic. It kept her out of debt and living a decent student life. Not that she had much time off. She worked and studied. It was too infrequent that she ventured out. Effy had reappeared in her life and was one of the few people that could get her out and about. It was generally a four day break from work, school and otherwise – two days to spiral into debauchery and two days to recover. More than once they'd found themselves naked in the same bed usually with a third party in between them. Those had been short-lived indiscriminate times._

 _Two years after uni, she was still tending bar at one of the nightclubs as a side gig when a group of four came in. Three men and one woman. She made eye contact with them all as it generally helped with the tips if she was friendly. The woman took an instant like to her and made small talk while the boys carried on. Two went to the dance floor and managed to turn a few heads with their antics. Though it wasn't lewd enough to be escorted out of the establishment. The third male stayed close to the woman and fiddled with his phone, swiping left and right and making faces as he did. The woman introduced herself as Laura and bluntly asked Naomi if she wanted to spend the morning in her bed. That was four years ago._

..

"What is this place?" Naomi asked as she pulled up to the address Effy had punched in on the GPS. It was a small cottage in Northfleet, east of London.

"Darling dad's weekend getaway. Was anyways before he up and moved to Barcelona with the flight attendant." She shook her head. "He signed it over to me as a goodwill gesture. Apparently, I'm supposed to forgive and forget."

"He doesn't know you at all does he?"

"And he never will." Effy answered without a trace of any emotion. Emily had been sitting quietly in the backseat. More than once Naomi had peaked in the rearview to see if she'd fallen asleep but she hadn't. She was simply looking out the window and hugging herself. It made for a sad painting. Effy exited the auto without waiting for the other two, keys in hand and was unlocking the door as Naomi pulled two bags of groceries out of the boot. Emily glanced around the area nervously. Once inside, Effy turned on the water and made sure everything was working. "No one really knows about this place. We should be alright for a week or so until we come up with a better solution."

"Solution?" Emily asked her and shook her head. "There's not a real solution. He... They'll want me back. I belong..."

"To no one but yourself." The brunette looked directly into the dulled brown eyes. She put the keys to the place in her hands. "Emily... we will help you. I promise you that. We're not letting you disappear again." Naomi thought the place was decently furnished. It shouldn't be entirely a surprise. Her mystery riddled friend knew how to make even the simple things luxurious.

"How can you promise? What do you know about me? About my situation?" She paced in the kitchen area as Naomi put away the groceries silently. "Naomi knew his name. Why? How? You said you weren't working for him but..."

"Neither of us works for him. I explained that. The police had information. We learned about him there." Effy didn't want to get into this again. While she could keep her thoughts and words in check, she was never sure about Naomi.

"Then why aren't they here? The police. If they had information, why aren't the police helping or busting him or.."

"Things are never black and white. What they know is... second hand I believe. They've no proof. Unless you wanted to volunteer some..." Effy wondered if the twin could summon the courage to speak out, provide proof. It would bring a lot of things into the open and likely cause ripples in everyone's lives. She could aware of the backlash that would come her way but it was time to face some things head on.

"And earn myself a new ear to ear smile?" She thought about her sister. A small wave of fear for her took hold and she shivered. "I can't."

"Fair enough."

"I've got to go back to the city." Naomi blurted out without looking at anyone. "I can come back in the morning."

"No." Effy spoke up and Naomi stared at her.

"Eff... I've got a thing. It's not something I can postpone or reschedule." She didn't want to get into it and was hoping Effy would catch on. If she did, she didn't care. She shrugged her off and drew a line.

"I think you can make your... _thing_ and be back later tonight." Effy knew Naomi wasn't ready to open her mouth. She needed to know if her blonde friend was really all in or not. What they had taken the plunge on wasn't something light and full of rainbows. They all had something to lose.

"But..."

"Whatever you're wanting to say as an excuse, I'd say it falls short." There was a silent standoff that Emily watched but couldn't decipher.

"I don't want to be a bother." The young woman at the center of the unspoken debate interrupted.

"You're not." The both of them replied without glancing at her. Their eyes now locked on each other. Effy gave the smallest tilt of her head and Naomi understood she wasn't about to break her trust but she also wasn't about to let the blonde escape. Naomi nodded.

"We'll see you tonight. Best get going."

..

 _Emily had accepted Luke's warning without question. The day after their conversation, she was up early and in the kitchen first thing. She was unsure what was expected. There was a lad already in there cooking. He looked up when she walked in. He had a huge grin._

 _"There she is! Good morning lovely. Coffee's up. I can make you tea if you prefer. Pancakes? I've got some in the oven warming. Fred and George gone home and Ron and Bill ain't gotten 'ere yet." She looked at him as he spoke and moved about. He poured her coffee without waiting for a response from her. "Don't know how you take it."_

 _"Sorry. Do I..." She wondered if maybe they'd met at some point. She managed to make it to the kitchen table and grimaced at the memory that popped up._

 _"Ah my bad. Cook, James Cook. Like Bond, James Bond but better at shaggin." He cackled as he said it. He didn't stand still for a moment. Before she could even say her name, there was a plate of pancakes and sausage in front of her. He put the creamer and the sugar bowl on the table as well. "You can call me Cookie tho. Go on, 'ave a seat and dig in. You won't get much in the way of peaceful eatin' once the rest of them come and go."_

 _"The rest of them?" She asked as she sat down and picked up a fork. "I'm Emily... should have said that."_

 _"I know who you are Miss. You're Miss Katie's sister." He paused a moment to pour himself a cup of coffee. "We've..." He cleared his throat. "I've been told about you." He looked at his cup before taking a sip of the black unadulterated bitter liquid. "I know this ain't exactly your choice." He sounded much older and somber than the person speaking seconds ago. She put her fork down._

 _"Can you... Can you tell me what's..." She stopped talking as he shook his head._

 _"Best advice I can give you is to do what you're told. Shit as it may be, it's the easiest." He took another sip and chanced a look at the kitchen entryway. He turned around and flipped some pancakes from the heat to the baking tray which seemed to have enough food for almost a dozen people. Turning the heat down on the stove he took a seat next to her. He spoke softly. "Luke is... hot headed. He needs a calm place to do business. The boys need to be kept both in line and chilled. Boys do most of everythin'. But sometimes, it gets... difficult doin' business. The boys.. they need a place to call home. This is it." He waved a hand around._

 _Emily couldn't help but stare. Her fork in hand but the food was forgotten. "I can't ask what they do?" He looked at her and shook his head._

 _"You shouldn't. You can. But you shouldn't." He sipped at his coffee and glanced back towards the entry. "Luke and your sister won't be up for another couple hours but Ron and Bill... they'll be here soon."_

 _"He said... he said to play cards... video games..."_

 _Cook chuckled. "Yeah.. the boys... they're easy. They just like to be mindless. A card game here or there. There's a sweet setup in the living room. Three different tvs and shit. Not all the boys like to play the same thing and sometimes we have as many as eight of them in the house."_

 _"Eight?" She stared at him. "Eight boys living here?" He laughed._

 _"Fuck no. Only you, your sister, Luke, usually me and sometimes another one crashes here. There's generally two in the garage working but they don't sleep."_

 _"How many..."_

 _"Only about two dozen whose faces you'll see on and off... But the groups a lot bigger than that. At least a hundred faces I've seen and I've been around a while." He nodded at her plate. "Eat." She cut into the breakfast and felt like crying. "Look... you didn't ask to be in any o'this. But you're in it now. Do as you're told and you'll be ok."_

 _"Right cause threatening to hurt me is a good indicator of being ok."_

 _"Be glad he threatened and didn't." She met his eyes as she swallowed the bite of pancakes and prayed it wouldn't come back up. "He's got... not limits exactly cause he can blow up without reason... but if he threatens and doesn't hurt you, then he's not right mad. If he threatens and does, he's mad. If he has someone else hurt you..." Her eyes showed terror and he could do nothing to ease it away. "Means you've pushed him far and he's afraid of really hurting you. You don't want to push him further than that, ok?"_

 _Emily didn't know if he wanted her to nod or speak to imply she understood. But there was no chance to ask as the front door opened and she could hear male voices. Cook stood up and went to the cupboard to grab plates as the boys walked in and stopped dead in their tracks._

 _"Alright boys... Ron, Bill... this is Miss Emily. You show her respect yeah? She's going to be 'anging around keeping an eye on you pricks." He handed them plates and told them to help themselves._

..

Naomi had let the valet park her car even if she could have found a spot herself. She'd thought about using a rideshare and get blindly drunk tonight but she couldn't. The notion that she had to drive back to Northfleet tonight would keep her from going overboard. It probably was a good thing as this was a work event for Laura. She tugged at the dress to work out any minor wrinkles she'd acquired on the drive over from her flat. There wasn't any surprise to find the new dress in her size on the closet door in her flat when she'd walked in. It was part and parcel of her relationship. Every soiree she attended demanded a new outfit. At least that's what Laura would say. She was a fashion designer after all.

She approached the maitre'd who recognized her from previous evenings there. He smiled and showed her to the private party in the back of the restaurant. There were three tables end to end and about a dozen people milling about the room with cocktails in hand. She spotted Laura off to the side speaking to the same three men she'd been with when they'd first met.

"Darling. You're on time." Laura greeted her with a kiss on the cheek as she laced their hands together. "You look fantastic."

"I should. You picked out the outfit." She could never get the sarcasm out of her voice. She could also never say thank you. Being catered to felt a bit like ownership and Naomi had issues with that.

"Naomi. So good to see you again." The boys gave her pseudo hugs. She had learned their names the first night but couldn't really bring herself to use them. Two were named simply John. The third went by JP – short for John Paul. Mostly she'd referred to them as the triplets in private conversations. "It's a wonder you've managed to keep her attention as long as you have."

She gave her best smile as she replied while waving to the waiter walking around with champagne flutes. "I just get a new dildo every few weeks. It's like she has a new stud in bed." The boys laughed and she was gratefully handed a drink. Laura gave her a look and squeezed her hand. She needed to behave. While the boys couldn't care about sarcasm, there were others who would. "Pardon me chaps but I need to speak to the missus a moment." When they were away from prying ears, she dropped her voice. "Sorry... I'm a bit off."

"Rough week?" Laura smiled and brought Naomi's hand to her lips. "Sorry I've not been around. The new line is weeks from debuting and I've been preoccupied. Doesn't help that we maintain different flats." She gave her the look that meant having the conversation again. _Fucks sake, not tonight we won't._

"It's not that." Naomi glanced around and hesitated to speak. "It's about work... but it's more." She met Laura's eyes. "Shit."

"Well that doesn't sound promising. It's work, followed by more followed by excrement. You do have a way with words." She took in Naomi's appearance beyond wanting to rip her clothes off and wanting to have her way with her. There was tension in her face but it wasn't the usual kind. She brought a hand to her cheek.

"Stop it." Naomi smiled sadly at her. "This is hard enough."

"So much for subtleties." Laura brought her own drink to her lips and finished it off. "Out with it Campbell." There were times for charm and outward appearances. But she knew when to rip band-aids off.

"I found Emily." Naomi said after looking away.

"Fuck."


	8. Chapter 8

Another... yup... shorter by a little but if they're shorter I can post faster. I'm also procrastinating through writer's constipation on the book... anyone have any laxatives?

Thanks marsupial for being you and dealing with my twisty darkness... dammitnaomily for also being you.. tigertrap for reading and encouraging... and thanks to all the readers who keep reading. It's a heck of a feeling to see the stats...

Cheers,

I own nothing but my words...

* * *

Chapter8

Effy had managed to light a fire in the fireplace after she'd made them something to eat. Emily had tried brushing off food but it didn't work. She was curled up in an overstuffed chair, staring into the flames when the brunette appeared by her side with a small throw blanket. She thanked her and wrapped it around herself.

"Why are you helping me?"

"Because you need it."

"Maybe... but it's... unexpected."

"I tried to help you when you were younger." She poked at the fire and put another log in. The tea kettle whistled in the background.

"I know. I should have listened." Emily pulled the blanket around her tighter. "I never forgot..."

"Neither did I." Effy turned away and went to prepare the tea. She came back into the room with steaming cups of it. "I should have looked for you. After uni... I should have searched. If I'd thought it would get that bad..."

"You didn't know. How could you?" Emily blew on the hot liquid, feeling its warmth seeping into her hands. Hands that would still shake from the cold, her too close a call and her memories. "I... how much do you know Effy?" She shrugged. In truth, she only knew what was in the files. It didn't paint a good picture and it likely left out the more emotional and personal details. She could pull more strings and find out more but she wasn't thinking about it. Not entirely.

"Just what was in the files."

"Can I read them?" Effy turned to face her.

"Why?"

"Because I want to know what you know. How you see me." She was blushing. Emily let her life flip through as a movie reel. None of it looked particularly good.

"Oh." She took a seat in a loveseat next to Emily's chair. "Emily..."

"I know what my life had been." She took a small sip from the cup. "I simply want to know if it's all there. If you can judge me properly."

"I'm not judging you."

"In some ways, no. But what's in the file... it makes you think of me in some way." She took another sip. She felt calm. She didn't feel threatened, scared. It was a change. She felt empty still though.

"What's in the file is only bits of your life." Effy understood what it was like for people to put you down on black ink, to describe your being in absolutes. She didn't want Emily thinking that either she or Naomi had done that. Her phone beeped and she started pulling it out of her pocket. "I'm not going to judge you on what you did to survive. There's nothing damning in the file if that's what you think." She looked at the message thinking it was from Naomi trying to not come back tonight. But it was from Cook.

..

 _It had been two months since Emily had emerged from her bedroom and partaken in meals and social activities in her own home. She'd actually begun enjoying herself. The boys were all mostly harmless. She imagined the ones that were didn't need any distraction and rarely spent any time outside the garage. The curiosity was still there but she had resigned herself to think it was all drug related and she didn't need to know. She'd barely seen Luke or her sister. Their routines kept them out the better part of the day. Ron and Bill seemed the youngest even if both were older than her. Cook was usually around during meals if he wasn't driving Luke somewhere. Her life was shaken up one day after lunch when she'd heard screeching tires outside and cursing. The front door was flung open as she'd emerged from the living room and Cook had bounded through the kitchen entryway into the foyer. He had a pistol in hand and she froze._

 _In front of them were Fred and George carrying Ron between them with Bill bringing up the rear and shutting the door. They were covered in blood and Fred had one hand clamped over Ron's mouth. Emily could hear the pained grunts emanating from him but he couldn't quite scream._

 _"What the fuck man?" Cook put his pistol in the back of his pants and ushered them into the kitchen. "Put him on the table."_

 _"Fucking git." Fred and George carried Ron in and laid him down, still muffling his sounds. They held him there as he squirmed._

 _"Emily!" Cook yelled and got her attention. "There's a kit in my room! It's red. In the closet! Get it. Now!" He yelled at her as he grabbed clean dishcloths from the drawer. Bill slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor. "Fuck are you hurt too?" He shook his head at Cook's question. Emily was moving up the stairs more in shock than anything else. He went to the table and saw the blood covering Ron's torso. "What the fuck happened?"_

 _George got out of his way as much as possible without releasing the squirming boy. His pain was inescapable. "We made the drop and one of the guys in Bulger's side got mouthy. I tried brushing it off but Ron... he got in the way. The other guy... he pulled out a knife."_

 _"A knife or a fucking machete? Fucking hell." Cook had ripped open Ron's bloodied shirt and wiped away to see how bad it was. There were four stabs wounds close enough together that two almost became one long cut. "Shit." It was a wonder Ron hadn't drowned in his own blood yet. He looked at Fred who shook his head. The boy needed a hospital. There would be questions. Just then Emily walked into the kitchen and almost dropped the kit. "Shit." Cook turned and put his hands up. "I'm sorry... just.. go upstairs. I'll take that. Actually.. take Billy.. Bill!" As the took the kit from Emily's hands, Cook yelled until the pale boy looked at him. "Go with Emily. She's going to help you get cleaned up ok?" The boy looked at the three men standing and at the girl. He stood up using the wall itself for balance. He nodded and looked at Emily. She swallowed and took his arm._

 _"Come on. Umm... you can wear some of Cook's things... get rid of these." She was dazed but knew she needed to get out of the kitchen. The sounds coming from Ron were frightening her. Once Cook knew they were upstairs, he turned and looked at George._

 _"Call Luke. Tell him what happened. I've a feeling I know what he wants us to do but we need it to come from him." He looked at the squirming boy and could see his color already changing._

..

Naomi wanted to talk about the present situation but she and Laura were interrupted by a small group of people who wanted to fawn over the latest line. It was what the night was for so she couldn't complain. It had been on the calendar for months. She knew whatever had popped up would need to wait. She was thankful that it was at least out in the open. She grabbed another glass of champagne as she listened to Laura explain the details of the fabric and the coloring. She wondered, not for the first time, if she could sleep standing up. She glanced at her girlfriend and let her memory drift.

 _"You're unbelievable." Laura was teasing her._

 _"What? I told you I had a long shift. Can't help it if I'm tired."_

 _"Yeah... tired. On the night we agreed you'd be the bottom." She nudged her ribs as they lay in bed, half dressed. "I know you don't like not being top but feigning exhaustion. Shameful."_

 _"I'm not feigning. And it's not my fault people decided to get freaky while I was on call. The things I had to deal with. Ugh." She was yawning. She'd managed to get home and showered before Laura had shown up. Naomi had forgotten she was coming over. She'd probably forgotten purposely because of Laura's need to expand her horizons. She closed her eyes and felt a poke at her ribs. "Thirty minutes... give me thirty minutes and then you can have your way with me." Laura giggled and curled up next to her._

She was brought out of her thoughts when someone asked her a question. She smiled and gave a noncommittal answer. It made those around her laugh and move on to a different topic. She caught a look from Laura and knew she wouldn't be getting back any time soon.

..

Cook had driven Luke and Katie back to the house. It was a standalone home on Erpingham Road about thirty minutes from the airport. Not much was said but the tension was there. He knew there would be hell to pay once they'd gotten inside the house. There were two cars parked out on the main road that he knew to be manned by two boys a piece. There were three others inside the house not counting the one waiting to be reprimanded for losing Emily. He didn't want to be in his shoes. They pulled up and someone opened the rear passenger door before Cook could even turn off the engine. Under normal circumstances, there would be a leisurely pace about the coming home from vacation. Not today. He popped the boot and one of the other boys was grabbing the luggage as Luke marched into the house with Katie close behind.

By the time, he'd walked through the door, Luke already had his suit jacket off and was rolling up his sleeves. Katie had disappeared but Cook imagined she hadn't gone far. Probably looking through her sister's desk to see if she could find a clue to her whereabouts, not like Cook himself hadn't done that. He'd done it for more personal reasons however. The guy waiting for his reprimand was stumbling over apologies and explanations for his fuck up. No one was listening. Luke's fist connected with his jaw and there was a crack that echoed through the expansive living room.

They'd moved operations to London two years prior. The house in Bristol no longer suitable for the breadth of the operation and Luke's position in the underworld. It wasn't too posh but it was comfortable. This place was originally a spacious two story four bedroom floorplan with plenty of reception rooms and loos. Luke and Katie had converted two of the bedrooms into an enormous master suite. The other two bedrooms belonged to Cook and Emily. The former master suite was split into two smaller bedrooms – one meant for Cook and the other to be used as a bunk room for boys needing to spend the night. After the first year, Cook's room became a guest bedroom as he moved into Emily's bedroom with her.

Luke hit the guy again and again. At some point he ordered the others to stand him up because he couldn't himself stand. The beating didn't take longer than fifteen minutes. And that included a few minutes where Luke needed to yell and scream at the barely conscious man. Katie came into the room and said his name. When he didn't stop hitting the guy, she yelled it. He stopped and turned around. Their eyes met in a cold fire. He took a shuddering breath and nodded, turning back to the mess he'd made. The guy was out cold and breathing roughly. His face a bloodied broken chaos. Luke held out his hand and Cook handed him a handkerchief. He wiped his hands but the blood would need soap and water to come off. "Take him into the garage and shoot him. Make sure no one finds him again."

Cook swallowed. "Luke... he fucked up mate. But it's..." There was a sharp crack and pain as he was struck. There was a second and a third blow. He tasted his own blood.

"You want to take his place Cookie? Hmm..." Luke was staring him down as Katie approached. "Seems to me you fucked up as badly as he did. You didn't get her at the hospital like you were supposed to.. _mate_. Weren't you in charge? I put you in charge. I did. I always do. And now we have a fucking problem." He was in Cook's face. He could feel the spittle landing on his cheek as it began to swell.

"Darling. Look at me." Katie was by their side, touching Luke's arm. It took a moment but his eyes went to hers again. "It wasn't their fault she got away. Not saying they didn't fuck it." She looked at Cook who looked down at the ground. "But she's been... she's done as she's been told for a long while. How were they to know she'd try this? They're simple. They don't see things like we do baby."

"I told them to look after her."

"You did. But it's done. She's not here. Now we need to find her. Beating Cook to a pulp won't help. Putting a bullet in his head won't help neither. He needs to be alive to make it right. Don't you Cookie?" She addressed him as she stroked Luke's arm. She'd been calming him down for years now. It was something she was great at. No one else was even close to getting him to see reason half the time. He may have been the one in charge but she was the one who corrected the course when his temper got the better of him. His stature was due as much to his efforts as it was to hers.

"Aye Miss Katie. I'll find her." Cook didn't look up. He needed to be very careful.

"See darling. He'll find her. He knows what's at stake and he knows the consequences if he doesn't." She looked from Cook to the guy limp in the other boys' arms. In a moment, she reached into Cook's jacket and brought out a pistol. She aimed it at the unconscious man and shot him in the knee. She handed the gun back. No one was shocked. Luke had an evil smile on his face. Somedays it was hard to remember who made who between them. While Katie hadn't been without faults when they'd met, the relationship between her and Luke had fueled an unsettling darkness within her. She'd grown colder to everyone but Luke. "Boys mend him best you can, then drop his arse off at Doctor Buxton's yeah? Tell him to make sure he's not completely fucked but that he doesn't have to make him pretty." She tugged at Luke's arm and stepped in front of Cook. "Find her."

..

Effy tried Naomi's phone again but it went straight to voice mail. She took a breath and waited for the beep. Whispering, she left a terse message. "Campbell I swear to fuck if you don't walk in the door in the next hour I will kill you." She ended the call and looked at the sleeping Emily. She didn't look as peaceful as she probably should be she was at least resting. They'd ended up talking about how it had all happened in the beginning with her sister and the boyfriend. They'd talked a bit about certain instances where it had gotten worse and then okay. It was surprising how candid Emily was. But Effy recognized the candor as a defense mechanism. Detachment. The first text from Cook earlier had left her ill at ease. The second had worried her. And the last had her shaken where she stood. Emily had noticed none of it. Effy was good at detaching too. But she was waiting by the window on Naomi to appear. They wouldn't have a week to sort things.


	9. Chapter 9

Yes... another... I have more waiting... but trying to spread them out...

Thank you and hats off to marsupial... she puts up with my rantings, my twisty bits... thank you babes..

Thank you to all the readers... as a caveat and reminder: this is a dark tale... I'm trying to curb the graphic stuff but thematically it is sincerely dark.

* * *

Chapter 9

Naomi had driven them back to her flat. Laura had dismissed her driver knowing there was more to be said between them. It was half past 11. An early night for such a soiree but mercifully most everyone had either a morning appointment or a deadline to get to. As it was, no one went home entirely sober. It was careless of Naomi to drive home less than alert knowing the all too normal scenarios of driving under the influence, but Laura was in less of a condition to get them home properly. They could have taken the limo but Naomi still needed to get to Northfleet. She'd not listened to the message but had seen it had been Effy who had called. She kicked off her heels at the door and went into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. _Water. You need water_. Laura went straight to the bar instead and poured them vodkas.

"I can't drink any more."

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Running off to her? Already?" Laura shook her head. She tossed back half her drink and stared at Naomi. "When?"

"Pardon?" Naomi was halfway to the bedroom, already undoing her dress and aching for more comfortable clothes.

"When did you find her? How long have you been with her?"

"Fuck Laura. It's not like that."

"Isn't it though?" She drank some more. "I know I'm a placeholder. You so much as told me so a hundred times."

Naomi groaned as she continued changing, half listening to the voice in the other room. It was the argument she'd been dreading. For four years, the spectre of a lost love had hung between them. They both knew it. They both had talked about it. But they didn't let it interfere with trying a relationship between them. The first year had been free and open. The newness dragging out given their hectic schedules. Their second year together had been good but more settled into routines. The third year had brought on the "where were they going" discussions. This past year had gone back to free and open but it had been due to Laura's business launch. She'd been preoccupied with it and Naomi had encouraged it. She could slip back into her comfort zone of not having to look beyond a great shag and some curtailed intimacy. "You know it's not like that. You know I care about you." She wasn't lying. It may not have been what Laura wanted in terms of how much she cared but she did care.

"How long have you been fucking her?"

"Jesus." Naomi stormed out of the bedroom as she pulled on an old concert t-shirt. "I'm not fucking her! I found her. That's it."

"That's it? So you're not running off to be with her?" She could see the look in Laura's eyes and knew this was going to be as bad as she imagined. "You're not drinking because you need to go to her. Isn't that right?"

"Sort of... She's with Effy right now."

"Ahh... the other one. That's fucking perfect." She finished the vodka in her hand and slammed the glass down. "Where one exists, the other one is sure to follow."

"Stop it."

"Stop what?" Laura took off her shoes and sat on the couch. She wanted to finish off the glass she'd poured for Naomi but she also wanted to lash out. Any more alcohol and she wouldn't be able to do the latter.

"Being jealous."

"I'm not jealous. How can I be? That would mean you were mine in the first place."

"Here we go." Naomi muttered as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed a coffee cup.

"Right... here we go Naomi." Laura was seething while she sat there. Her own brain taking tally of their relationship. "You and your precious Effy. The two of you thick as thieves... reason the two of you ain't in each other's bed is cause you're both too into each other's shit to make it work." Naomi poured the cream and counted to ten. "Might as well be sniffing each other the moment you walk in a room." The blonde poured her coffee and added two sugars. She'd thought about taking it black but gave up the thought as Laura kept talking. She needed the indulgence in a sweet cup of adrenaline.

"Effy and I are close. You knew that before we started dating." She went into the living room and sat on the couch beside Laura but facing her. She tucked her legs under her. Naomi knew she wasn't a complete lunatic. But she knew she was passionate and often tunneled visioned. "And you know how I felt about Emily."

"Yes... the long lost love of your life. How long were you two a thing? Ten minutes? While you were teenagers?"

"Are you going to be a bitch this entire conversation? Cause I can do without." Naomi was tired and not exactly minding herself. She had too many things to think about and dealing with her girlfriend's insecurities weren't tops on her list. _You sure you're not wanting to avoid it? You knew this was coming. And she's not wrong. You don't know who Emily is_ any more _. You barely knew her then. Laura is your girlfriend. You've been together four years. Doesn't that count for something?_ "I'm sorry. It's been... it's not been something easy... finding her."

"Fuck you Campbell. You're wanting this conversation to be easy because it would make you feel better about dumping me..."

"I'm not dumping you." Even as she said it she knew it wasn't the entire truth.

"I see. So you're giving Effy to Emily as what? A consolation prize? You're staying with me because you love me?"

"No. I mean..." Laura was on her feet and back at the bar. She grabbed the glass full of liquid and drank from it. "It's not what I meant. I didn't mean to say I'm not staying with you. I'm not dumping you. I'm... Look.. I wanted you to know ok? I wanted it to be in the open that I found Emily. It happened at work. She's not in the best place in her life and I want to help her. Fuck." She was scrambling over her words and wondered what part was emotional exhaustion and what part was the previously ingested alcohol. "We should talk about this. But maybe not tonight."

Laura finished the vodka and put the glass down. "Fine." She turned back to Naomi and dropped her dress. "Are you staying or going?" There was a look in her eyes as she stood there in next to nothing. Had it been any other night, Naomi knew they'd wake up sore and spent given her outfit. But tonight she had doubts.

..

 _Katie had been curled up in their bed for some time. She'd cried her eyes out and fallen asleep then woken up and cried some more. The news the doctor had given her had left her undone. Luke was out on a run and wouldn't be back until tonight. She wanted him, needed him. She needed to know it was ok. That she was ok. That he wouldn't leave her. She felt broken and in despair. She had no one else. Just him._

 _It had been a year since they'd gotten together. A year of learning each other, of building a small empire on the wrong side of everything. It wasn't noble. She knew that. She understood that their business was dirty and illegal. But she'd liked the money that came in, the prestige. She liked how demanding Luke was of life. He didn't accept complacency or second best. He'd started out from the bottom and rose steadily in Western England. He had six cities under his command now, all turning profits. She couldn't deny that she loved how he wanted and loved her. She'd supported his ideas and his inclinations when it came to business. She'd learned all about the drugs and the other investments he took on. Some she'd even advocated for. More and more, she was his second in command in everything. They'd talked about marriage and children. Deciding against one while entertaining the other. Execpt today she found out for certain she couldn't give him that. Would he leave her?_

Her thoughts were snapped to the present as Luke stepped out of their en-suite. He was toweling his head as she lay naked on the bed. They'd cleaned up but she'd finished her turn in the shower before him, taking a moment to process where they were at. He smiled at her as he dropped the towel to the floor and climbed in by her side. He touched her cheek and she faced him. They kissed deeply. Her hand reaching out and stroking him, already half hard. His hand moved from her cheek to her breast and he squeezed. He broke the kiss and looked at her.

"You ok babe?"

"Of course."

"We'll find her."

"I expect we will." She gripped him harder and he smiled wickedly at her. "If she's unable to.." He kissed her again stopping her words and where they were headed.

"She'll be fine. We'll be fine." He got on top of her, moving her hand aside. "No matter what. We are here. You and me. Always." He pushed into her and she accepted him with a moan.

"Always."

..

Emily dreamed of music and warm lips. Her dreams changed as they went on. She saw herself in a mirror. Her face and body remaining lithe, young, vibrant. Her eyes taking on a colder stare. She remembered the first dead boy and the second. She stopped remembering after the sixth. That was two years into her sentence. That's what she thought of it as. Two years and six dead boys barely old enough to be called proper men.

It wasn't a bad life for her all in all. Her needs were mostly met with minimum effort. She continued to act as a kind of den mother to the never-ending rotation of boys. It had been somewhat fun at times but it was mostly pretend. Smile and act happy. There were few times she'd had to step outside of the house to deliver small packages. And she was never alone. She and her sister stopped almost all conversation as they stuck to different routines. Luke would nod at her in passing but as long as she kept up her end of things, he stayed away from her. Anything in terms of changes were put through Cook. He was in the middle of everything.

She could never tell what he was really like. She'd seen him ultimately upbeat, but also deadly serious. It was a series of switches he kept at the ready given the mood of the powers that be. He never treated her with anything but respect and sometimes admiration. It made her sad because she didn't think her life was anything worth admiring. She'd accomplished nothing. She existed. Even on a personal level, she was nowhere.

The first year of captivity saw her mostly staying home and providing that all necessary place of false stability. Halfway through, Luke added more to her routine. A business acquaintance would be in town and she would be tasked with accompanying him to the theater or some other place that required more than an escort. She was treated to expensive dinners and less than stellar dinner conversation. Some would be courteous, some less than. But other than a few wandering hands and lewd comments, she was untouched. At least until they moved to London.

Emily woke up with a start as she heard the door to the bedroom she was in open. She looked expecting Cook to walk in but it was Effy. She remembered she wasn't in her room, in her home. She had gotten away.

"Is Naomi back?" She asked sleepily. Effy walked to the bed and shook her head.

"Not yet. But she will." She sat beside her and took Emily's hand. "I've a question." Emily looked at her and saw doubt in her eyes. She felt fear again but nodded, silently asking her for the question. "Were you pregnant?"

..

Naomi looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was nearing 2 in the morning. She and Laura had exorcised some demons as they'd given in to carnal desires. She couldn't say she didn't find her girlfriend beautiful or lustful. It would be a lie. While they lacked certain intimacies, they never lacked for stamina or hunger when it came to sex. It had existed between them on a different level from the get go and sometimes it may have been all that had kept them together. She knew Laura was counting on this to be a salve in what may unfold. And Naomi had given in. _You're a coward. You should have stuck to your guns. Effy and Emily are waiting for you._ She ran a hand over her face and disentangled herself from the snoring siren in bed with her. It was late. She walked into the bathroom naked and relieved herself remembering the voice mail. When she was done she went into the kitchen and retrieved her mobile. She thought of calling but knew she'd get chewed out either way. She'd hoped Effy hadn't told Emily about Laura. She wasn't sure what would happen in the near future but she wanted to be the one to tell her. _See not a coward. Right. That's why you spent the last few hours fucking that woman like it was her birthday, Christmas and New Years all in one._ She groaned and typed her code to hear the message. She cursed under her breath and got dressed in a quiet hurry. She didn't bother grabbing extra clothes. When she got into her car, she was surprised to find her door unlocked. But the surprise was a bit too late as she felt the metal pressed into her temple.

"Sorry babes. I need to know where she's at. Nothing personal."

..

"What? How did you... is that in the file?" Emily sat up and pulled away.

"No. It's not."

"Then how..." She got out of bed and tried to run from Effy but found the brunette blocking her. "Effy..." Her voice was pleading.

"I need to know. When you took the drugs... when you tried to... were you pregnant?" She was serious and considering all implications. Her heart was in her throat at what she was asking.

"Why would you ask? If it's not in the file... how would you know to ask?" Emily looked around the room but other than the doorway, there was nowhere to run to. She doubted Effy was as formidable as any of the boys but she wasn't up to fighting her way out. And to think she had felt safe. Her eyes teared up. "Do you work for him? Please... just tell me..."

Effy shook her head. "No. I don't work him." She crossed her arms, trying not to let go of the shiver in her body. "I know more now... my sources... they've got deep reaches Emily. Rumor is you were pregnant. Rumor is that you didn't want it but it wasn't up to you." The other girl sat defeated on the bed. "Tell me the truth."

"No." Emily looked at her. "I wasn't pregnant." She put her head in her hands. "They thought... they wanted... but I wasn't. I swear." She shook her head. "I'd have never done anything like that if I had been... I'm not... that's not me..."

"So where did the rumor start?" Effy was breathing a little easier but her emotions were everywhere.

"I... I told them that... to get them to leave me alone." She wiped at her eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

Yes yes... I'm spoiling everyone rotten... but I told someone I would publish another chapter if they did something... lucky all of you, she did..

marsupial is at golf but hi babes!

remember... dark...

* * *

Chapter 10

 _Cook hadn't meant to get involved with Luke as long as he had been. He'd expected to be under him for a couple of years at best. He wasn't naive enough that he could get out of this unscathed but he'd thought he'd at least get out. His aspirations were dashed when Luke had announced the move to London two years ago. He'd taken the news with a smile and a clap on the back, drank with the boys and found himself calling her at around 3am._

 _"There had better be a reason." She answered without it ringing more than once and certainly without any greeting. He laughed._

 _"Aww you know you love me."_

 _"I don't. I think you're fun. It stops there." Effy rolled over in bed and stretched. "Are you downstairs?"_

 _"Nope." He spit out a hard p at the end of the word. He wished he could be though. He could get lost in her reality for a while. "But I'll be there soon."_

 _"It's 3 in the morning. You sound drunk. No trains at this hour. You can't get in a car like that." She did care for him. She did love him but she wouldn't admit it because it would mean more to him than it did her. He'd been in a tough spot all his life._

 _"No no... not tonight... But get a load of this... we're moving."_

 _"Who is?" She sat up and took real notice regardless of his state._

 _"The entire operation. It's being moved to London. Same marching orders as per but up up and away we go."_

 _"Cook. That's... that's huge."_

 _"Ain't it though?" He slurred his words and thought about how it would all happen. How it would change everything. "I don't know how much longer I can keep going."_

 _"As long as you need to." Effy knew he had doubts about himself, his opportunities in life, his abilities. She wasn't privy to all he did but she knew enough to know it took a toll. "You can do this."_

 _"You sure? Cause I ain't sure. There's so much... you don't know..."_

 _"I don't need to tiger. But you can and you will. You've worked too hard for this."_

 _"It feels like I'm trading my soul... if I had one." He laughed but it rang hollow._

 _"What can I do Cookie? Tell me what I can do."_

 _"Well a blowjob's out of the question ain't it..." He giggled. "I'll get to see you more... maybe. You living in the city and all... but it will have to be away... secreter..."_

 _"That's not a word." She smiled. It would be interesting having him closer. She couldn't give him what he craved for but she could be a better anchor for him._

 _"We can pretend secret agent stuff... get super freaky with it." He was sounding tired and she knew he was almost out of it._

 _"We can get super freaky." She laughed. "Go to bed. Text me in the morning. Let me know the plan."_

 _"Will do babes." He waited a moment before hanging up. It only took another minute for him to pass out._

..

"You told them you were pregnant so they would leave you alone?" Effy thought about it and found the idea rather brilliant. She sat down, weary. "You told all of them?" Emily sniffled and nodded. "You had to sell the idea then? So everyone would leave you alone... was he sleeping with you?"

"Who?" Emily looked at Effy. "Luke?" She shook her head. "He only..." She thought about him. It was a bleak memory and one she had tried to erase with drugs more than once. Her sister tried to punish them both and succeeded but he'd been right all those nights ago. Katie forgave him faster than she ever could her twin. "I didn't ask for it... didn't want it. But it happened.. he.. but it was once long ago."

"Not Luke. Cook." Emily looked at her. "Was he sleeping with you? Was he the one that was supposed to be the father?" The bewildered twin tried understanding where Effy was coming from.

"Cook and I..." She shook her head. "Why are you asking all of this?"

Effy didn't have a ready answer. Not one that would leave her in the clear. She stood up again and paced. "Cook is... I know him. He wanted to know if you were ok. He wanted... he asked me about your pregnancy... he said he didn't think you could be but he wasn't sure."

"You know Cook?" Effy met her eyes. "But you don't work for Luke... that's what you said. So how?"

"Cook and I... we fuck."

..

 _"Cookie I think you deserve a reward."_

 _"Yeah? What for boss?" He was driving back to the house after a successful transfer of currency and product in South London. There hadn't been any bloodshed this go around. The first year in London had been brutal. They'd lost more than half the boys that came up the ranks with Cook. But things were leveling off. It had been a strategic move for the big bosses, having Luke in London. No one had told the smaller groups actively doing business in their new territory. It made for tense exchanges. "A little Chrismas bonus ahead of time?" He was joking as he parked the car._

 _"Not exactly." Luke waited for Cook to come around and open the back door of the car. He got out and put his arm around his shoulder. "I want you to be family."_

 _"Uh.. I thought we kind of were... one big happy.."_

 _"Yeah yeah.. but I mean even more so. I want you to move into to Emily's room."_

 _"Where's Emily going to sleep? My room's not big enough for her. Don't seem fair."_

 _"No idiot. I want you to move into Emily's room with her. Share her bed. She's your reward." Cook's insides turned to jelly and he stopped short. Luke fixed him with a stare. He brushed of the imaginary dust off his own lapel and then Cook's shoulders after pulling away. "I know she's not... religiously pure." He shrugged his shoulders. "Business decisions and poor impulse control on my behalf. My bad."_

 _Throughout the entire time he'd worked for him, Cook had never wanted to hit Luke so badly. He hoped it wasn't visible but he could feel the color in his face changing with his temper. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful boss... but she's Miss Katie's sister. I don't think I'm right for her."_

 _"Ahh.. nonsense Cookie." Luke was smiling and there was a light in his eyes. "Miss Katie insisted on it really. She thought it would be a good match seeing as you both are good at what you do... loyal." He smirked. "I do detect a bit of rage." He laughed. "Looks good on you. But don't fuck it up. You've been good to me. Good to Kate. Good to Emily. Good to the boys." His tone turned serious and the smile disappeared. "I'll apologize to you for fucking her. It wasn't right of me. I get the anger. I'd be pissed myself if I was in your shoes. But don't throw it all away on that anger."_

 _"No sir." He swallowed and tried to push away the impulse to put a gun to Luke's neck and empty it into him. He'd known what Luke had done soon after he'd done it. He'd taken care of Emily as Kate damn near beat Luke's face in. He'd been bruised longer than Emily had but in the end, she suffered longer and would continue to do so. "Is Emily ok with..." He received a tilt of the head at his words. "Is she aware of the arrangement?"_

 _"Not yet. I thought you might like to tell her yourself. I'm sure she will be happy to be by your side. You're her protector. Unless she's too soiled for you." Cook clenched his fist and shook his head. "You tell me mate cause I can gift her to someone else."_

 _"No sir. I'm a lucky man." He said it and felt himself getting sicker. "She's a good woman. Deserves more is all." Luke rubbed his jaw and smiled again._

 _"Everyone is expendable Cookie. You know better." He started walking into the house, leaving Cook still standing there. "Make sure you have a good time getting acquainted. I want to hear all about it."_

..

"Tell me where she is." The metal was pressing into her skin and Naomi wondered if she could move fast enough. He moved forward and grabbed her jacket collar with his other hand. "I don't want to hurt you. I will. But I don't want to."

"I don't know where she is."

"Liar. Where you going at this hour? Church?" He pulled on the collar. "Look you went up to your flat with a fine skirt. No way you're ditching her for anyone other than Emily."

"How would you know what I would do?"

"Babes... you almost tore me fuckin' head off in the hospital. Thinking you're the girl she moans about. What did Eff call you? Naomi. Yeah, that'd be it." Her anger rose up then and she dropped her right hand down to the seat mechanism. She pulled on it as she pushed her body backwards. "Fuck." The seat back slammed into Cook and he loosened his grip on her collar. She lunged forward and grabbed the door handle. It took her a second to get out of the car and another to figure out if she was running up to her flat or away from there. It was time she shouldn't have wasted.

Cook got out of the car and chased after her. She almost made it to the main street. He tackled her hard and she landed on a patch of lawn. He flipped her over and straddled her. His free hand on her jaw and the gun at her forehead. She froze and closed her eyes.

"Don't fucking do that again you twat. Jesus." He stood up and pulled her with him. She flinched as the jeans scraped against her knees. "That's what you get for being an idiot." He shoved her in the direction of the car. "Move. Don't run. I'm not chasing you this time. I'll shoot you and then take your car. I bet it had GPS on it. And I bet it has the location I need on it." Naomi stopped moving and felt a chill down her spine. "Oh come one. I don't want to fucking shoot you. I really don't."

"Will you hurt her?" She was terrified and wished she'd gotten Effy's earlier message. Maybe if she had she'd have left earlier. Maybe he wouldn't have reached her. "Please don't hurt them. I'm the one who took her away. Can't you.. I don't know... just let her go? I don't have a lot of money but..." The gun pressed into the back of her head.

"I need to talk to her. Just fucking walk." She started heading towards her car and stopped when she got to the driver's door. She turned slowly. She noticed the bruising on his face, the swelling.

"How did you know her name?"

"What? What'd you mean? I've known Emily for years. I went to pick her up at the hospital remember? Or did I knock you about too hard?"

"No. Not Emily. You called her Eff." Even in the darkness she could see his face, the realization. "How did you know her name?"

..

 _The party was going strong as models walked around the house in her outfits. She hadn't been entirely sold on the idea when it was presented to her but it was fascinating her now. There was a dj in one room and the music was being piped in throughout. She was introduced by JP to all of the big spenders. He reminded her that the guest list was exclusive even if it wasn't all on the up and up. There were people who wanted to put money into something new. JP had introduced her to the host during a trip to Italy and she'd been a fervent customer ever since._

 _"Laura! JP!" Katie waved at her from across the room when she spotted her. She walked to her as fast as her heels could carry her._

 _"This is incredible. I don't know how you did this." Laura complimented her as they hugged. They took a seat on a long couch. JP was distracted by a man on the other side of the room and excused himself._

 _"Babes. I just had to show some people your clothes and they were totes into it." She handed her a flute of champagne. "Think of this is as your coming out. You'll have orders left and right if not your own store soon."_

 _"From your lips Katie." She drank the champagne and noticed the man sitting next to Katie pawing at her arse. "And this must be the fiance."_

 _"Oh my god yes. Shit. Luke baby this is Laura, the designer. Laura, this is my king, Luke." He sat up and held out his hand._

 _"Pleasure. I've heard a lot about you."_

 _"Likewise." She smiled at him and could see he was trouble. She could understand the appeal though._

 _"I almost get jealous when she talks about your clothing against her skin. Very intimate." They all laughed and he pushed a small mirror on the table towards her. Neat little lines of powder looking at her. "Party favor?" She smiled widely and put her champagne down. She snorted up two lines and let herself feel it._

 _"You two are a god send." Everyone laughed and Katie nestled into the crook of Luke's arm. He waved at someone with his other hand._

 _"I have to say. I'm interested in the store idea. I need to expand my portfolio so to speak. Do you have a business manager or do I talk to you directly?"_

 _"It's mostly me. JP does a lot of the social aspect and details but I make the decisions." She could feel the powder turning on her brain, like a million lights on a highway. "We can talk business tomorrow. I can come to your office."_

 _"I'd like that. Having a first go at you if you want." He laughed and the girls joined in. "We can enjoy ourselves tonight, tomorrow we talk." He smiled and kissed Katie slowly. When he broke the kiss he looked up. "And as a special treat... because you dress my queen in such nice outfits... a taste of what can be." He motioned to the woman standing by as she was walked over by one of his boys. "Laura. This is Emily. Katie's twin."_

 _Laura turned to see a slightly thinner version of Katie. She was dressed in one of her more provocative numbers. She licked her lips when the young woman smiled at her._


	11. Chapter 11

Hope everyone is having a marvelous Friday night... here is another chapter.

Thank you to marsupial for keeping me on point and sane... thank you to dammitnaomily, tigertrap and mynameislizzie2 for reviewing

Again warnings: DARK subject matter. This is not for the faint of heart. It is dark like Kojak the tv show was dark. (seriously go back and watch some of those episodes)

* * *

Chapter 11

"I don't understand." Emily was starting to shake. "You and Cook... you're together?" Effy shook her head.

"No. We're not together. It's casual... like completely casual." She knew it didn't sound good any way she described it.

"But he talked about me? To you?"

"No. Not before today, earlier. He... he asked... when I stepped outside the hospital room with him to get him to go away."

"Right. I'm supposed to believe that? Jesus..." Emily hugged herself, trying to will some warmth into her body. She was feeling despair, confusion.

"Emily... you can believe what you want. He was worried. He knew what you'd told them a few weeks ago, he played along with it but he was worried... wanted to make sure it wasn't true. He said..."

"That's a lot of discussion for a quick talk outside a fucking hospital room." She was both scared and angry. She felt like she was out of her depth again. "Did you know about me?" She couldn't get the emotion out of her voice. "Before Naomi... before the club, the hospital...did you know?"

"No. I didn't fucking know. I swear it. We didn't talk much about his work." Emily was waiting. She didn't know if she had questions or doubts. Effy took Emily's face in her hands. "I swear to you I had no clue you were involved. I knew he was working for bad people. Involved in drugs. That's it. But we didn't talk about you. He never mentioned your name."

..

 _They had started out on the couch at the party. Laura had never been all that shy but the powder had put her boldness into orbit. She'd pulled Emily into her lap and began kissing her without much of an introduction. Luke and Katie laughed. It wasn't until she slid her hand under Emily's skirt that the twin tried to stop her. She broke the kiss and looked in Laura's eyes. "Not here. Please."_

 _"You'll have to forgive her. She's a bit shy." Katie spoke up. She met Emily's eyes and her sister blushed. "She's definitely a muncher though so you should be all good."_

 _"Are you now?" Laura touched her face. Emily swallowed and looked back at her. Her cheeks were on fire. She'd dabbled on something a little earlier but it wasn't a lot and she wasn't out of it. She dropped her eyes and nodded. Laura laughed. "Splendid." She looked back at Katie. "Is there a room I can borrow?"_

 _"And miss the rest of the party?" Luke smiled at her._

 _"Whatever deal you want, I'm sure we can come to an agreement. I just want to get to know her a bit better. We can always come back down... after the first round." Katie smiled and whispered in Luke's ear._

 _"Third door on the left at the top of the stairs. Enjoy." Luke told her. Laura wasted no time in leading Emily away. He looked at Katie. "I thought you were against your sister being with a woman." Katie shrugged._

 _"Life changes. She's done what we asked so far. Can't be a horrible thing to throw her something she might enjoy." He smiled at her and kissed her not caring who watched._

..

"I'm going to fucking kill her." Naomi was raving from the back seat. Her hands were secured with Cook's belt behind her back. He was driving to the address in Northfleet in the GPS after discarding the others. He didn't seem all the dense as Effy had claimed. She kicked at the back of his seat.

"Calm your tits blondie. She didn't fucking know about Emily. I never told her." He'd messed up by using Effy's nickname without thinking. Naomi picked up on it and caused a bit of an uproar. He'd had to hit her to get her into the car. He'd subdued her and restrained her. He knew Effy would flip. Not only had he told her best friend about them without her there but he'd hit her.

"You had best use that gun cause when I get loose..."

"You're not going to do a fuckin thing. Eff didn't know shit. I didn't tell her shit. I had no reason to. I didn't know she knew Emily. We don't talk like that. I knew about you cause you're in her every day. And even that she doesn't say much. Fuck." He was yelling as he drove. His face hurt and he wished he'd taken the time to pop some painkillers. He almost missed the turnoff. He found the address but drove past it once and circled around, keeping his eyes out for any cars either following him or parked outside. "Look blondie. I'm going into the house. Now you can..." She began kicking the back of his seat again. "You can come in with me or be a right bitch and stay where you are. Your call."

..

 _It had been over a month since she'd met Emily at the party. She'd had a grand time with her. They did manage a reappearance after an hour of getting to know each other. No one had really missed them. The music was going loud as ever and everyone was having a great time. When she reemerged people were going up to her and introducing themselves instead of the other way around. Everyone knew her name. It was incredible. Laura was on top of the world. She kept her arm around Emily's waist. They found Luke and Katie on the dance floor. They stayed through a couple of songs, sometimes switching partners even if Emily seemed a bit hesitant. Luke took out a small vial and passed it to Laura, whispered to go have fun. She, Luke and Katie had met the next day and discussed numbers. Everything was working out for the better._

 _She hadn't been able to stop thinking about it all. She'd talked to Naomi and made plans for the weekend never mentioning her indiscretion. They had been dating over two years now. She didn't intend to fuck that up by telling her. She was easy on the eyes and great in bed. She wasn't high maintenance in the least. It gave Laura the spotlight all to herself but it also made it a little trickier to get her into the fashion scene. She didn't buy into design wear and it was an uphill battle to get her into coutoure. She thought that with a name like Naomi Campbell fashion would be a given. She finished packing when her mobile rang._

 _"Hey you. I was just thinking about you."_

 _"Then you're not going to be happy."_

 _"Are you fucking serious? You're bailing."_

 _"Someone called in sick and I can use the extra cash."_

 _"We were supposed to go away Naomi. Romantic getaway. With your girlfriend."_

 _"I know... And I'm sorry but they really need me to cover the shifts. I'm not senior enough to just skate."_

 _"Right. Excuses." She knew she was being petty but didn't care. This wasn't what she wanted. "What am I supposed to do with the reservations?"_

 _"Can you switch them?"_

 _"No." She lied. She could switch them in an instant but she wasn't about to let Naomi feel any less guilty. "You know what... it's fine. I'll go by myself. I can use it to recharge."_

 _"I'm really sorry..."_

 _"Right." Laura hung up and resisted throwing the phone. She looked at her suitcase full of outfits and toys. She was pissed. Then she had an idea. She dialed a number. "Katie. How are you love? Listen I had a question. That sister of yours... think she's available this weekend? I had plans but they fell through and I could use the distraction. You sure? Fantastic! I'll be by to pick her up in say an hour? You're the best. Ciao bella."_

..

Luke was asleep peacefully next to her. She played with his hair and felt a sob trying to work its way up. She clenched her jaw and waited for the emotion to pass. After a few minutes, she got up and grabbed a silken robe. She put it on and walked out of their bedroom. The house was quiet. Most everyone was either asleep, outside guarding the place or out looking for her sister. She put her hand on her abdomen and took a seat at the top of the stairs. Her mind drifting to a jumble of thoughts, words.

 _"It doesn't matter. We don't need little brats running around." He hugged her and comforted her. He'd never been one to give way to deep nurturing emotions but something about her brought it out of him. They had talked about children but it wasn't a necessity for him. She was. Her happiness was. He kissed her temple. "We have little shits running around us anyway. They just happened to be toilet trained. Mostly." She laughed at that and kissed him._

What was it about him? She looked over her shoulder at the open bedroom door. She couldn't see him from where she sat but she never needed to. She could feel him. From the moment they'd met, things had started shifting. He'd given her a way to express her rage. She'd not quite realized how much of it resided in her. Whether it was nurtured jealousy over not being more in terms of wealth as she grew up, or not being the girl everyone fawned over. It was all there, lurking under her skin. Every slight, real or not had carved itself into her soul and she'd never quite managed to see it or past it. Her parents' death was a breaking point. Not until he came along. Sure she could spout harsh comments, and maybe even lash out at her sister at times, but he'd given her anger oxygen. He'd given it fuel without constraints.

Luke had let her lash out at him physically. Almost begged for it. The harder she hit him, the brighter the gleam in his eye. It was like she could do no wrong. Like she had the power to end him. Only she wielded it, no one else. And he loved her for it. He craved and needed her more so because of it. It had made everything feel right. The drugs hadn't helped. Easy and ready supply. She could indulge in anything. He gave her whatever she set her eyes on.

 _"There's nothing wrong with punishing her." He played with her hair as they lay in bed. She was still feeling the mix of cocaine and ecstasy in her system. They'd fucked on every surface of his flat. A flat he seemed to share with at least four other boys. At first, she'd been bothered by their presence at all hours. But it faded. She never cared now who was around. A line here. A pill there. Her and Luke would find themselves naked and grunting before long. She'd watched some of the boys as they strained to look away. Hands covering their crotch. She laughed at them before long as did Luke. The ones with more sense vacated the flat the moment the powder was brought out._

 _"There isn't?" Katie rolled over and touched his chest. Her nails scratching at the skin, leaving quickly disappearing red marks. "She's my twin. I'm not... She's so freaking stuck on the idea she likes fanny."_

 _"What if she does?" Luke asked and laughed as she twisted his nipple. "Oww.. nothing wrong with being between a girl's legs." He punctuated his words with his hand sliding between Katie's legs. She moaned a bit._

 _"Not... jesus... not when it's my sister."_

 _"Hmm.." He toyed with her and saw her eyes close with desire._

 _"She could be useful. We can... include her in business... a little at a time." Her eyes opened and her nails dug into his skin. He hissed. "Not like you... not in charge..." She raked her nails and saw blood coming to the surface. "We... agh... we can have her mind the boys... she can keep them out of our hair when they're not... fuck.. when they're not actively working. Damn it!" He turned his body and pinned her down, her wrists in his hands. "Evil bitch."_

 _"Don't fucking forget it."_

She looked back at the bedroom and smiled. She wanted her sister back. There was a bit of love in there somewhere for her. There had to be. But it was more for what she could offer them in a more permanent way. Even if he said he could live without them, she knew having someone to pass on his treasures to would melt him at his core. She wanted that – for him and for her.

..

 _Laura was breathing heavy after her exertions. She was covered in a thin film of sweat about the same as her plaything. She smiled. She really is exquisite. She was still on top of her as Emily was face down on the bed. With mild care, Laura pulled herself off and out of her. The strap on firmly attached to her harness. She heard the girl groan upon its removal. She leaned into her and kissed her shoulders. "Hoping you enjoyed that." She nipped at her neck and heard a sigh._

 _"I did." Emily wasn't used to what was happening. She'd been with men, not many, and a couple of women. All in the name and demand of business. She'd felt used and cheap but had learned not to show it. This was much different. The woman touching her had an appetite but her advances weren't entirely unwanted. She knew what to do with Emily. She'd made her orgasm the first night they met, the first sexual encounter. She'd done it every time since then. They'd not left the room in the 24 hours since their arrival._

 _"Are you hungry? I can call for room service. Maybe another bottle of champagne to bathe you in." Laura let out a laugh. She recalled picking up Emily yesterday at Katie's and Luke's home. At the door, Katie greeted Laura as if she'd been her closest friend all of her life. She could see Emily waiting in the reception area with a small carry-on suitcase. But instead of being included in the conversation, Katie had left her standing there as she lead Laura to the living room. She cast her a glance and the twin merely asked one of the boys to fetch them tea._

 _"Really Katie... she's simply going to stand there?" Laura looked at Emily who had her eyes cast down._

 _"Why not?"_

 _"She's your sister?"_

 _"I told you. She's very... accommodating." Katie let out a chuckle. The tea came and the two women sat drinking it. "Oh don't look at her like that."_

 _"Like what?"_

 _"Like she's... I don't know... delicate... or something."_

 _"She's your sister." Laura put her cup down. "I know I asked for her.. but did you ask if she wanted to come along with me?" Katie waved her off. "You didn't even ask her?"_

 _"No. I didn't." She touched Laura's arm. "This is what her life is. She is... a commodity like everything else in life. We happen to be related. We happen to look similar. Which is a gift to her really... but it's business. She is much like the tea bearer a servant."_

 _"A bit cold."_

 _"Do you really care?" Laura shrugged. Did she care? Was it something that bothered her? "Emily darling... come here please." Emily walked over to them without looking up. "Care to tell Laura what you want to do?" There was a blush on her cheeks. "She's shy as you know. Go on.. tell her how you want to be with women." Emily looked at Katie. There was a bit of embarrassment and shame and fear all swirling in the look. "Don't you fancy women?" Her sister nodded. "Did you enjoy Laura last time?" The small gasp was audible but Emily lowered her gaze and nodded. "See." Laura laughed out loud. There was something completely debased in such a display but she couldn't help being turned on._

 _She stopped her thoughts from wandering and turned Emily over to kiss her. Her hand immediately cupping her breast. "Are you hungry?" There was a slight nod. "I'll make that call to room service. Get us some fuel.. champagne... an extra bottle... and ice... Have you played with ice?"_

..

Effy opened the door expecting a humble Naomi. Emily was right behind her as their conversation likely wasn't finished. Neither grasped the meaning of Naomi stumbling through the door with her hands behind her back. Not until Cook walked in with pistol in hand. The blonde landed on her knees.

"What... the... fuck?" Effy yelled as Cook closed the front door.

"Sorry... cat's out of the bag princess." He looked at Emily who was staring at the gun. "Have a seat little twin. We need to talk."


	12. Chapter 12

and another...

thank you to all who have read and reviewed... along with the usual lovely suspects a quick shout out to a guest reviewer named Andy... that review made my freaking day. Katie y Luke merecen una paliza.

marsupial - who loves ya baby? (it's a Kojak thing to all the young'ins)

warnings: dark as per... look away now... but if you're still here, you know what you're in for. also yes it will get _worse_ before it gets better.

* * *

Chapter 12

 _Cook sat on her bed. He'd touched the duvet over it and looked at his things in the corner. He'd emptied his room and brought everything here. He couldn't tell her and then move everything in. He didn't know how he would tell her and be able to face her. Emily walked into the room about an hour later and found him sitting there._

 _"Hi Cookie." She saw the look on his face and became worried. "You ok? What's the matter?" She sat next to him and he stood up. "Hey... what's the matter?" She studied his posture. He began pacing nervously as his face got red. For a moment, she thought he was on the verge of tears. She looked around and saw the two suitcases and a box of odds and ends and began to panic. "You're not... you're not leaving, right? Please tell me you're not leaving." She was on her feet and her hands were on his shoulders, his face. While she couldn't believe he could ever be a true friend as long as he worked for Luke and her sister, she'd come to count on him. To be there. To listen. To catch her when she faltered. Had he done something to be sent away? "I'll talk to Luke. I'll beg him... to give you more money... or to forgive whatever happened...please.. anything.. don't leave me.. please..." She was begging now._

 _He snapped out of it and shook his head, taking her hands in his. "No.. no. I'm not leaving." He'd thought about it. The moment Luke had walked away, he had thought of forgetting his reasons for lasting this long. He'd thought of walking away from everything he'd worked towards. But he knew the moment he did, Emily would be lost. Alone and lost. She'd be nothing more than a complete toy, more so than she was now. "No little one. I'm not leaving." He smiled at her and she did see the tears in his eyes._

 _"Then what... tell me cause you're scaring me Cookie. And you never scare me." He nodded and guided her to the bed. She sat and he knelt in front of her. He took a breath._

 _"Remember when we first met... when we talked... about doing shit we didn't like.. cause it was easier than not?" She looked at him curiously. He sniffled and kept holding her hands. "Well I 'ave to do some things... I don't want to. But if I don't, someone will get hurt.. hurt worse than what's 'appening already." She stared at him as he sniffled the tears away._

 _"What..." She looked at him and his things. "Say it."_

 _"Luke... he says I'm to share your room... your bed... from now on."_

 _"Share..." Emily realized what he was saying. She looked down at her hands in his. "I... umm.. I see." She wanted to pull them away. She didn't know whether to feel ache or despair or anger. She'd not expected this. Cook had been by her side since it all started for her. "Who? You said Luke but what did he say?" She wasn't the same girl from years ago. She couldn't be. He was shaking his head and muttering he couldn't repeat it. "Please tell me Cookie." She still didn't lift her gaze from their hands. "Don't I deserve at least that?"_

 _"Fuck..." His voice choked on the words. "He said... He said he wanted me to be family... that you were a reward. That I was your protector and might be happy to have me closer. That... that if I didn't... that you could be... gifted to someone else." He wanted to vomit. The tears fell without effort._

 _"And my sister... was she of one opinion or the other?"_

 _"She wasn't there." He watched as Emily pulled her hands away and got up from where she sat. She walked to his belongings. Cook almost wished she would throw him out of her room._

 _"Did she offer Luke an opinion Cookie?" She already guessed as the two never did a thing without mutual agreement._

 _"I think... I think it was her idea." She nodded and bent down. She opened his suitcase and started carrying his clothes to the dresser._

 _"It's settled then, isn't it?" Emily opened a drawer and made room for his things._

 _.._

"Cook... what the fuck?" Effy went over to help Naomi who tried pulling away but couldn't. She began undoing the belt. "Hold still."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. She's looking to take a chunk out o'you." He kept the pistol in hand but pointed downward.

"Cookie... stop this. Don't... don't hurt them." Emily stepped between him and the girls. "They were helping me. I'll... I'll go back."

"Fuck that!" Effy turned to face them, yelling.

"When pigs fly!" Naomi roared as she shook the feeling back into her hands. Cook started laughing until the blonde tried to advance. He raised the gun but Emily held on to his arm softly.

"Please."

"Ahh fuck me..." He sighed and put the gun in the holster. "Fucking hell ladies." He was shaking his head when Emily reached out and touched his face.

"Which one?" He didn't look at her. She asked him again.

"Luke." He winced but didn't pull away. Effy and Naomi watched. The exchange was different given the earlier scene at the hospital. There was almost a tenderness to it and Naomi felt absolute jealousy.

"Cause of me?" He didn't bother answering. "Cookie." He took her hand.

"I've 'ad worse and you know it." He looked at the girls. Naomi's own face was showing the beginnings of a bruise. "Sorry 'bout that by the way. But you're stubborn." Effy glanced at Naomi and saw the welt.

"Fuck's sake Cook. Were you determined to be an absolute prick?"

"She wouldn't tell me where you were." Naomi tried advancing but Effy and Emily blocked her and Cook who was ready to defend himself. "I just wanted to talk to Emily. That's it."

"You put a gun to my head."

"Wanker." Effy added. "Come on. Let's get you some ice." She tried dragging Naomi but she pulled away.

"Fuck that. First what the fuck is up with you and this prick? He says he knows you but you've never mentioned him." She squared off with Effy who didn't flinch.

"He's..." She paused and rolled her eyes. "He's 'Monster boy'," Naomi stared at her then looked at Cook. Then she looked down at his crotch.

"Wait.. he's..." Naomi was yelling even if it hurt her own head. Effy nodded. "He's the prick you've been fucking for what... 7 years? No pun intended." There was another nod. Naomi shook her head. "The whole time you've been gagging on his cock and he had Emily all along."

"Oy! I didn't have Emily... I'm not her keeper." Emily looked at him. "Not really though right? You don't... you don't think I'm a total prat right?" He turned to Effy. "Monster boy?"

"That's the least important question Cook." Effy took a seat on the love seat.

..

 _This was the fourth time Laura had asked for Emily's company. She was finding it easier and easier. Naomi was free to work as much as she wanted to and completely unaware of the infidelity. They didn't live together and while it would have been her wish, it was better for now that they didn't. She had finalized the deal with Luke and Katie over their investment and things were progressing splendidly. There would be a store in the UK, Italy and one in Paris. It was a lot of money being invested but it was a mutually beneficial agreement. She understood where the money was coming from and the laundering happening because of the so-called overhead. She didn't care. If Naomi knew, she would._

 _Katie had actually offered to drop Emily off at her flat instead of Laura sending a car. She liked Katie. Determined, powerful, unafraid. It was becoming one of her closest friendships. It didn't mean they braided each other's hair or shared their intimate life. Katie did talk about Luke and his prowess. Laura didn't mind because it brought something out of her that Laura used for inspiration. Both in her designs and her own escapades._

 _They were on the couch in her flat, listening to music and drinking wine. She'd had her once already. Katie had likely not even gotten into the lift after having afternoon tea with Laura when she took Emily. She wanted to say it was passionate. But there was more to her intent and she couldn't quite explain it. Her hand stroked Emily's bare back. They rarely talked but today was an exception._

 _"Did you go to school?"_

 _"I took a few classes... I didn't finish though." She answered quietly. She wondered if she never divulged any personal information. She didn't know if it was against any rules but then again no one had given her rules._

 _"Here in London?" Her eyes swept over the roundness of her bottom as she took another sip of the Riesling._

 _"No... I'm not from here originally." Emily seemed to tense. Laura moved her hand to massage her neck. She was trying to coax the information out of her. Why she wanted to know was beyond her but knowledge was always power._

 _"Where are you from?"_

 _"Bristol."_

 _.._

Naomi was sitting on the couch with ice against her face and Cook was sitting on the floor against the wall with a similar pack. Effy paced while Emily stood off to the side. She was scared but mostly unsure of what would happen next. She'd been somewhat relieved that Naomi hadn't apparently known about the connection between Cook and Effy. For whatever reason, it allowed her to believe that neither of the girls knew of her existence until recently. And therefore unaware of the things she'd done, faced.

"Why didn't you tell Effy about me before?" He looked at Emily and then at his feet.

"Not my proudest thing you know... not being able to... protect you."

"You've protected me plenty."

"You weren't... not at all right?"

"Weren't what?" She asked already forgetting the topic which brought out the truth of Effy and Cook earlier.

"You know... pregnant..." He almost whispered it.

"What the fuck do you..." Naomi was about to explode but Effy gave her a look. Emily shook her head and sat next to Cook.

"No. I swear I wasn't. I wouldn't have ever tried to..." She kept her hand on his.

"You did try then? It wasn't entirely on accident?" His eyes were full of sadness. He put the ice pack down and put her hand against his heart. "I'm so fucking sorry... I never meant for anything to get this far... I couldn't do anything though. I'd put so much time in..." Naomi scoffed and glared.

"You put time into your dirty job so you couldn't help a girl get out of trouble? How chivalrous."

"Naomi..." Effy warned.

"Don't. You're not off my shit list yet either."

"I didn't know about her." The brunette said.

"He said as much but you could have said something to me at the hospital when he fucking showed up."

"No. I couldn't." They stared at each other. "We had other things to deal with. I wasn't about to add petrol to the fire then and there."

"So now is better all around?" She asked and threw the ice pack to the ground. "You talked to her. Can you fuck off now?"

"I wish." He looked at Emily.

"How badly do they want me back?" She asked meekly.

"You're not going back." Naomi growled.

"Not happening." Effy crossed her arms and looked at Cook who sighed.

"If I don't bring her back, I can't go back." He looked incredibly tired all of a sudden.

"Aww... will you get smacked around some more? I'm not entirely against that." Naomi was all vile when she set her eyes on him.

"Most likely... But they... they want to see if she's..." Emily touched his face knowing what he was going to say. She shook her head, her eyes pleading for him to not say anything. Her sister would want to know if her ability to have kids was impaired. He kept quiet. "If I can't go back, it's done then." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small zippered case. Emily frowned looking at him. "I'm sorry Emily... you'll never know how sorry." He opened the case and tossed a thumb drive at Effy. "It's what I have.. for notes... but I've got nothing for proof. Almost everything is off the books, off the grid or put through so many fucking bullshit accounts and companies... I've got the locations of drops and warehouses but they change so often... the information is obsolete by the time I've been able to send it in."

Naomi's eyes popped wider at Effy. Emily looked confused. "You work for Effy? You're banging your employee?"

"Jesus Naomi no." She sighed. "He doesn't work for me. I don't work for him. But I can get the information on here to his handler on a private network."

"Handler?" Both Naomi and Emily said it at the same time. Cook opened up a leather wallet to reveal a government identification.

"I've been undercover." He leaned back and closed his eyes.

..

 _"Did you do it?" Luke drank his scotch as Cook wandered into the living room._

 _"Did I do what? Tell her? Yeah. Move my stuff? Yup." He walked to the bar and poured himself a drink without asking. He brought the bottle back with him and sat across from Luke._

 _"Good boy." He sipped. "But did you fuck her James?" He never really used his real name. At the onset, he'd called him Jimmy to piss him off. He got bored when Cook stopped reacting. He imagined Luke was relishing his present reaction._

 _"No."_

 _"Shame."_

 _"Where's Miss Katie?"_

 _"Out with that friend of hers. Laura. They wanted to celebrate."_

 _"You didn't join them?" Cook sat back and scratched at his jaw, the beginnings of stubble there._

 _"It was a girls night. I didn't need to ooh and ahh over whatever they do."_

 _"They didn't take Emily."_

 _"No."_

 _"Emily's a girl." He tossed back the glassful and felt the burn._

 _"Emily is, yes. A very good looking one at that." He could see Cook bristle and decided Katie had been right about the arrangement. "But it wasn't that kind of evening."_

 _"So you'll leave her be then? Is that it? She's my reward and you keep her away from everyone else?" Luke laughed and stared. He pointed with the half empty glass._

 _"That's funny. I knew you were funny but this... that's downright priceless."_

 _"Then what's the fucking point of all of this?" He leaned forward. His anger getting the better of him._

 _"Watch it Cook." Luke got serious and sat forward himself. He reached out and refilled his glass offering the bottle to Cook who did the same. "The point is to teach you and her. Remind you that neither is in control of anything. You've been loyal and good at what you do. I've no complaints. But I can't have you getting too big for your britches. You do what you're told and that's that." He took a drink. "So does she." Cook blew out a breath and swallowed._

 _"Can I go back to my room?" Luke shook his head. "What now?"_

 _"What now? Now you go upstairs and you fuck her." He laughed at the pain in Cook's eyes. "I'm sure you'll be nice to her. Nicer than others would be."_

 _"Are you going to..." He hated this. "Can you please not use her to please anyone else?"_

 _"Jealous?"_

 _"No. It's not that."_

 _"No it isn't. It's your heart." Luke gave him an evil smile. "You don't want her traded like a toy. Too noble sometimes." He finished his glass and set it down. "Since you asked nicely... I will only lent her out to one person. Aside from you and this one person, there will be no one else. Take it or leave it." Cook nodded but Luke held up a finger. "But you need to make good about sharing that bed Cookie with her. Do you understand?" Cook swallowed and nodded once more, knowing he would need to figure out how to avoid it. "Don't forget that I'm watching." He got up and walked out after tapping him on the shoulder._


	13. Chapter 13

I swear at some point you will stop getting daily updates... but I've been a writing machine and taking advantage of it.

Thank you to marsupial - heck of a review babes.

Thank you to tigertrap, dammitnaomily, mynameislizzie2 and everyone else reading... it means a lot to me.

I do like fluffy feel good stories... I do. But I tend to explore the darker themes of humanity in my longer stories. Call it exercise or exorcise for the mind. I know not everyone is a fan. And not everyone can read them. But I do appreciate all of you.

warning: ok.. dark... you were warned.

Cheers

* * *

Chapter 13

 _They were laughing and having a grand time. They were on their second bottle of wine and had moved to dessert in the private dining room. Laura had never been to a more curious place. From the exterior, it seemed like a normal high-class restaurant. But once inside and seated in the private dining area, she discovered that the waitstaff was nude. Both men and women walked around totally exposed as they served the two women. She looked at Katie who winked at her. She told her Luke and she enjoyed the views._

 _"So the actual store locations have been secured." Laura mentioned and Katie shook her head._

 _"No real business talk." She felt relaxed. Completely at ease. She knew what was happening at the house and expected a complete rundown from Luke upon her return. He'd asked if she wanted to personally oversee the event and she declined. She had no need to watch her sister be shagged. She looked at Laura who was casually touching the waitress's bum as she poured more wine. "Laura?"_

 _"Sorry." She stopped touching and took her wine glass. "She's delicious and my hand had a mind of its own."_

 _"Oh that... no.. I don't care really." She got a raised eyebrow at that. "Ok I don't want to watch exactly but I don't care if you want to fondle her in general. But I do have a small bit of business to discuss come to think of it. It's about my sister."_

 _.._

 _Cook was on his bunk counting down the days until he was out of the juvenile detention center. It was his second time here and there couldn't be a third. He'd burned what little bridge he had with his mother and knew another strike would keep him behind these walls until he came of age. A shadow fell on him as he sat there. He looked up to find a serious looking man standing there._

 _"Can I help you?" He was tense. He had heard stories of guards being paid for access to the boys but he hadn't seen evidence of it._

 _"I can help you lad. You're a bit of a troublemaker." Cook shrugged, readying himself for a possible fight. "You're leaving here soon. I can offer you a choice."_

 _"Don't know about choices. But I ain't sucking you off or 'aving you stick your cock up my arse."_

 _"What?" The man looked at him like he had three heads. "Fucking hell boy you're crass and an idiot. I'm not here for that. Jesus." The man took a seat on the bunk without asking and Cook moved a bit further away from him. "I work for the police you twat. You've got talents I want to put to use instead of you fucking about on the streets and ending up back here again."_

 _"You're joking?" He looked at the man like he was crazy. He shook his head at Cook._

 _"Serious as a heart attack boy. You tell me though. You got the stones for it?"_

 _"I'm Cook. I got the stones for anything."_

..

Effy had pulled out her tablet and plugged the drive into it almost as soon as she'd caught it. Naomi and Emily sat there unbelieving Cook's revelation. Emily had put a bit of distance between them but hadn't stood up.

"You're... police?" He opened his eyes and looked at her. The exhaustion and sadness etching itself into his features.

"National Crime Agency." He rubbed his face and winced when he touched the bruising. It felt like an afterthought. "I've been... I infiltrated Luke's group ages ago..."

"How long have you been undercover?" Naomi spoke up.

"Fuck... I don't even remember somedays.. I'm... 29... yeah.. 29... I was recruited when I was 17. But I didn't infiltrate until I was maybe 21..." He yawned.

"The whole time... you've... I've watched you.. we... we did.."

"I know." He felt his cheeks turn red. He was ashamed at his behaviors, what he'd had to do to make sure he kept his cover intact.

"Pretty shit undercover if you're still under." The blonde couldn't help but interject. The knowledge that he'd watched over Emily being subjugated to shitty situations rankled. "Didn't think to call it off and I don't know... maybe help people instead?"

"Fuck you." He growled at her. "I"m good at my job. I've provided information leading to arrests over the past 5 years... murder, drugs..." He looked at his lap. "Even trafficking."

"Yes, drugs. You mentioned that. Thanks for the repeat." Effy shook her head as Naomi kept up her tirade. She glanced at Emily who had hugged her knees still sitting on the floor.

"Not drugs. Human." He closed his eyes not wanting to see the reaction. "The group... it's part of something bigger. Always has been... but whenever I could... get information and pass it on, I did." He put his face in his hands. "I couldn't break cover. I'd been in... too long. I had access to it all and needed to... I was ordered to keep it going."

..

 _Katie walked into her bedroom to find Luke asleep still in his street clothes, his trousers undone. The tv on the wall was set to the security feeds. One in particular. She shook her head and turned it off. She saw the half-empty bottle and knew he'd had his fill. She put it back on the bedroom's bar. She went into the en-suite and changed into her nightgown. When she walked back into the bedroom, she stood over him as he snored. Without warning, she punched him low hitting his groin. He screamed awake and grabbed at his crotch. His eyes catching hers._

 _"What the fuck Kate?" He yelled at her as he cupped his aching manhood. The scotch happily in his system kept him from getting up and going after her. She walked to her dresser and began removing her jewelry. "Have you fucking gone mad?" He groaned._

 _"Hmm.. Be lucky it was my fist and not a knife." She turned to face him. "You watched them."_

 _"What?"_

 _"You fucking watched them you bastard. You wanked off to them." She pointed to his undone trousers._

 _"Babes.." He understood her rage. "It wasn't like that." She met his eyes with rage. "Yes... I watched. But it wasn't.. I wasn't watching her."_

 _"Right. You were watching Cook. Gone gay now have we?"_

 _"NO! I wasn't watching him. I was but not like that. Jesus." He sat up. He massaged his balls. "I wanted to make sure he went through with it. I wanted him to..."_

 _"Please... keep going. You're not making it better. I might have to find a knife." She glared._

 _"Ok jealousy is hot but this..." He moved and she opened a drawer pulling out a gun. "Ok, ok.." He held up his hands. "I wanked but not because of her. I wasn't watching her. It was... shit." She cocked her eyebrow as she cocked the gun. "I wanted to see if he hurt her."_

 _"Did he?"_

 _"Not exactly... not the way I wanted... his size.. that hurt her. That... that's what I wanked about. Not her but the... the pain of it. Ok?"_

 _"Does that make it better?"_

 _"Probably not." He assented. She walked to him, gun in hand and pointed at his head. He made no move to protect himself. "You know I'm yours."_

 _"I do know that." She put the muzzle against his forehead. He didn't cast down his gaze. He moved so his legs were over the side of the bed and she could stand between them. He could feel the metal and let himself be open to her. She thought about pulling the trigger. It would lay all of their plans down and set ablaze. "You've fucked her Luke." He nodded._

 _"It was a drunken mistake. Desperation and stupidity. It was only that." He had tears in his eyes. He wasn't afraid of death or at least of Katie bringing it to him. He ached because he had hurt her. "I didn't do it to hurt you. I fucked up."_

 _"You watched." She had tears in her eyes. "You sure it wasn't for her?"_

 _"Never." He swallowed. "We can have her go. Have everything go. You're all I need. You can have my life." He put his hands on her hips. "Do with me as you need and want Katie. I love you... only you."_

 _She relented and pulled the pistol away from him. She put the safety on and uncocked it, setting it on the nightstand. She touched his face and then slapped him hard. Twice. He did nothing to prevent it. She leaned into him and kissed him. "You belong to me."_

 _"Yes."_

 _"You don't watch her again. Ever." He nodded. "Order him to keep doing her but you don't turn on the camera. You do not." She kissed him with every word. "They don't need to know you're not watching."_

 _.._

"There are a lot of files, a lot of threads. I don't know what I can pull from them yet but I can work with some of this. I think." Effy was focused. She'd let the silence in the room go on long enough. "I will need my regular setup at home to really work though."

"Take it." He said it. "I'm done. I can't go back. I don't know if it will yield anything but it's done." He moved and lay flatter on the floor. He curled up. "I'm done." Emily stared at him. She wasn't sure what to feel, what to think. Naomi sat still. She thought about everything that the brown-eyed girl had seen and done while under her sister's thumb. _He could have stopped it all. He could have saved her. She could have died because of all of it._ Her anger bubbled and she stood up. Effy noticed the movement but kept typing on the tablet.

"Naoms." It was a terse warning. Emily looked up at Effy's voice and caught sight of Naomi advancing towards Cook. She was on her feet before she realized it.

"No. Naomi no. You stop it. Please." She put her hands on Naomi's chest pushing against her. "Don't."

"He could have... He had the power..." She said it through barely contained emotions. Cook curled up into a ball on the floor and waited. He didn't care if she hit him. He'd failed Emily. He'd failed his work. He was tired and didn't care anymore.

"Stop... you don't know... you don't know what it was like." Emily gripped her shirt. She could feel her heart thumping away inside her chest. She tugged Naomi forward and put her lips on hers. It took both of them by surprise but it was a chaste kiss that felt like forever.

..

 _Laura stared at Katie after she'd explained Emily's current situation and her foreseeable future, how it included Laura herself. They drank the remnants of the second bottle and ordered a third. Even with all of the wine, she felt awake, alert. There was a tingling in her body, an energy running through her. "She gets no say in this?" It was the first words she could form. She didn't express outrage. She didn't express dissent to the path laid out. Katie shook her head._

 _"I told you. She's a..."_

 _"Commodity yes." She played with her glass. Her attention to the nude bodies serving was gone. Her mind was on Emily. She liked her. A lot. Especially more so if what she thought was true. "What you have in plans for her... it's more than commodity. You're... This man you've given her to. He's been around her the whole time. A friend?"_

 _"Something like that."_

 _"But you.. so you're doing this to what? Exercise more power?"_

 _"In a way yes. I need her to be... Alone." Laura waited for more explanations. "It's a long story... I blame her for.. a lot." She drank. "But I need her..." It was a rare admittance. By saying that bit by itself, she was acknowledging that she couldn't live without her sister regardless of how she treated her. She cleared her throat. "I need her alone. I can't have her thinking she has a place to go."_

 _"You want her broken." Laura said it and didn't bat an eye. She wasn't aghast. She wasn't horrified. She knew her friend was not a pure person. She had glimpsed the darkness in her, in Luke. She had taken a step into their world but hadn't come out of it. Instead, she'd walked further into it. Katie took a sip from her glass and nodded. "And you want me to help get her there."_

 _"Yes." She didn't deny it. She'd seen how Laura had looked at her sister. How she'd called after her again and again. Emily seemed more at ease after her visits with her. She had come to understand that it was the female attention she'd been missing, denied so often. While she hadn't agreed with such a thing when Emily was younger, there was a need to accept it and encourage it now. Even if it was to fulfill her own needs. "I need her to be much more willing to... accept her place."_

 _"Doesn't she already? She seems pretty docile."_

 _"Docile yes. But what I want is beyond that."_

 _"You're twisted."_

 _"Perhaps."_

 _"What's in it for me?" Laura asked. Katie laughed loudly at her candor. The light veil of doubt was crushed in a blink._

 _"What do you want? You have your shops, your freedom to create. A sizable bank to finance you..."_

 _"That's mutual. You know what the validity of the shops is affording you." The twin nodded in admiration._

 _"I repeat then. What would you like Laura?"_

 _"Her."_

 _"You have her. She will only see you and Cook. No one else."_

 _"You have plans for her though."_

 _"I do."_

 _"When you're through with them. I want her... to keep."_

 _"It won't be any time soon."_

 _"I don't care." Laura was already thinking ahead. The possibilities of it all were almost dizzying. "Will she be... intact? Like no maiming or.." Katie laughed and shook her head._

 _"I need something intimate from her but it won't hurt her... oddly enough." She raised her glass. "A deal then? You get my sister once I'm done with her." Laura raised her glass and touched it to Katie's_

 _"Yes."_

 _.._

Effy cleared her throat and the kiss was broken. Emily and Naomi stared at each other, breathing the same air and tried to comprehend what had happened. Surprisingly, Cook was asleep where he lay. "There are bedrooms... upstairs..."

"What?" Naomi spoke with a scratchy voice and looked at her best friend who wasn't even looking up.

"Rooms... two of them. Emily was in one earlier. Perhaps you could take this upstairs. Not that I mind watching but I've got some things to work on and it's distracting."

The blonde was sure Effy had never once taken her eyes off the small screen so she couldn't understand how she was distracted. She felt Emily's hands still gripping her shirt. She let her eyes fall on to her hands. She could feel the heat between them. In a moment, Emily was pulling away but not letting go. Instead, her hands moved from Naomi's chest to her hands. She laced their fingers and she began leading her up the stairs.


	14. Chapter 14

Another daily update... these will stop soon...

Thank you to marsupial as always - she rocks the casbah (these are history lessons peeps)

Also thanks to dammitnaomily, tigertrap, mynameislizzie2 and The Aeacus (he's alive, he's alive!)

Andy my guest reviewer - create an account! how can I dm thanks in Español? Si lo hablo y lo escribo. but seriously thank you for coming along on this ride...

warning: don't read this chapter at work, in school, in front of relatives...

* * *

Chapter 14

They had climbed the short staircase as Emily quietly led the way. Naomi's brain was trying to cast some doubt into her motions. _You have a girlfriend. A long term girlfriend. It's over. You know it's over._ They walked into the bedroom and Naomi shut the door. They stared at each other. Emily's hands touched the blonde's face.

"Are you..." She never finished her thoughts as Emily's lips were on hers again. She couldn't tell which of them whimpered and she didn't care. Before long, they were walking to the bed. She wrapped one arm around Emily's waist, keeping her close. They fell on the bed, Naomi on top. Her leg moved between Emily's legs and she could feel the heat there. The kissing became more ardent.

..

 _Cook had walked into Emily's bedroom fairly drunk. Luke had left him in the living room and he'd taken his time coming to her. He didn't want to do it. Out of everyone he'd met, she was the most innocent in every way. No matter what she'd been forced to do. What Luke and Katie were doing to her was hateful and conniving. Not for the first time, he'd wished he'd have never taken on this assignment. He knew it was a selfish thought, but it was there. He froze in the doorway. "What..."_

 _Emily was sitting on the bed waiting for him. She wore a tshirt and boy shorts. She looked underdressed to him. He could see the curves of her breast a lot clearer than usual. While she didn't dress too modestly – in truth she wasn't quite allowed to – her clothing was normally layered. She smiled and it felt wrong to him. It was shy. It was young. She wasn't all that much younger than him but maybe he held her in a different light than a lot of girls her age. She's a woman Cook. Not a girl. She hasn't been a girl in a long time. He shook his head._

 _"What's... what's going on little twin?" He stood in the entryway. A voice inside him told him to turn around and drink himself blind downstairs. She slowly got up. He tried to take a step back._

 _"Cookie." Her voice was soft. In three steps she was in front of him. He could smell her berry scented body wash._

 _"This... it's not... I can't."_

 _"You have to."_

 _"Nope." He shook his head. "They can beat me. I don't care."_

 _"Is that all you think they would do?" She touched his chest. She could feel his breathing. "Cook."_

 _"Emily... I don't know.. I don't know that I can." In his mind he could hear Luke's warning. Don't forget that I'm watching. He glanced around, wondering if it was real. If Luke would be such a bastard as to wire her room. There was a voice telling him he would indeed. "Jesus." She was thinking of him, of herself. There was no doubt he would get a beating for being disobedient. There was also no doubt in her mind that she would be gifted on to every client from here on out. All to make a point. She wanted to laugh. They didn't need to make any points to her. She'd learned how little she meant, how easy it was to dispense with her._

 _"Cookie..." He shook his head. She took hold of his belt and tugged him further into the room._

 _"Emily... Emily.. I can't... I mean..." She looked in his eyes and moved her hand to his crotch. She cupped him through his trousers. "Jesus... don't..." He kept his eyes on hers but the warmth of her hand was making it difficult. His eyes looked down to her breasts for a split second but he looked back into her eyes and blushed. She took one of his hands and brought it to her lips._

 _"It's ok Cookie. It's ok." She continued to apply pressure to his slowly hardening erection. She kissed his fingers and he felt dizzy. He shook his head once more but she stopped him by placing his hand on her breast. He moaned._

 _"This..." He was positively confused. His body was reacting faster. His mind was drowning in the scotch, the dueling ideas. She used her hand over his to squeeze her own breast. Her other hand squeezing and rubbing up and down._

 _"It's ok." She let go of his hand, his bulge and began unbuttoning his shirt. His hand kept massaging her breast on its own now. He felt how tender it was. The hardened nipple pushing against his palm, against the fabric of her t-shirt. He was topless before long and she unbuckled his pants. He grabbed her hands. "Emily." He was hoarse with need but he needed to be sure it was her choice. That's a load of shit and you know it. She's never had a choice. Not since you and Luke drove Katie from the park that day. "I can't." He whispered it. His eyes looked around. She caught the glancing and she swallowed. She mouthed the word camera, asking him. He nodded then mouthed an apology. She shook her head. She'd imagined as much the moment they had moved here. She was theirs. "Kiss me Cookie." He stared at her. His hands shaking against her wrists. "Kiss me."_

 _He leaned down and let himself taste her lips. She must have put on some kind of lip gloss he thought. She tasted of berries. She smelled of them and tasted of them. The kiss grew from a small tentative peck to a longer, deeper one. His tongue invading her mouth as he put his hands on her face, forgetting why he'd been holding her hands. She began unbuckling him once more and undoing his trousers. She pushed them past his hips and they fell to the floor. If he had been wearing his gun, she'd had to have been more careful, but it was in the dresser. She'd watched as he'd put it there. He stepped out of the trousers and kissed her harder. It wasn't unpleasant. His lips were soft and even his stubble wasn't off-putting. She smiled into the kiss._

 _Emily cupped him once more and found him to be larger than she was used to when fully erect. Not that you're used to cocks. No. I don't know I ever will be. She pushed the thoughts out of her head. She felt the bed against the back of her knees and tried turning them around so he was forced to sit down but he wouldn't let her move him. He broke the kiss. His eyes scanning her face. "Tell me."_

 _"Tell you what?" She looked for the answer in his face. Did he need to be told she loved him? She'd known some people needed that. Not the ones she'd had the displeasure to be intimate with but she'd done reading. "Tell you what Cookie? That I love you?" He shook his head._

 _"Naw.. I know you do. Like you know I love you. That's.. that's a given." He caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. "Tell me you want this. I need to hear it... I can't.. I can't be like..." She understood in a split second, the words escaping her lips immediately._

 _"I want this Cook. I want you." It wasn't untrue. She did want him. Perhaps not sexually but he complemented her life in ways no one else could. He lowered his hands to the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head in one move. She was topless before him. The urge to cover up was enormous but she didn't. His fingers trailed over her nipples and he shuddered._

 _"You're fucking beautiful." She gasped at the words. His hands didn't stay on her breasts long and instead pushed down her boy shorts. She stepped out of them and sat on the bed. She went to take off his briefs and he stopped her. He kissed her. His mouth was hungry and she could feel it coming off him. It was daunting. Alluring. He laid her down and used that passion, his mouth on her body. He kissed all around, licking. At some point he felt her fingers in his hair and a slight moan escaped her. Cook crawled between her legs and opened her up. He stared at her and could see the pink on her skin. The blush rising._

 _"What are you..." She tried to ask when his mouth covered her. She arched her back and gripped his hair. His lips and tongue kissing a place barely any had been to, had seen. She moaned as he sucked at her clit, his hands moving up to her breasts._

 _.._

"Emily." She whispered it as they kissed. They were laying on the bed, fully clothed but their bodies could not get closer. It was tender but passionate. Years of need and fantasy being voiced through their lips. What had been an impulse when making sure Naomi didn't hurt Cook became an immense need. _This. This was what you missed out on all those years._

She let out a soft whimper against Naomi's lips. The blonde gripped Emily's hips and pulled her on top. She needed to touch, to feel her. Emily hadn't counted on the powerful feeling taking over her. She was alive. Everything in her life was falling away even if just for this moment. She had taken control. She had guided Naomi up here. She had the power. "I want you."

Naomi let out a deep moan at hearing those words. Her hands moved under Emily's shirt. She touched her bared stomach and she couldn't remember anything better. _You need to stop. This isn't right. You were fucking your girlfriend a few hours ago._ Images popped up in her head and she tried pushing them away. She wanted this, wanted Emily. But a sense of guilt was taking over. "Wait... wait Ems... please..hold on..."

"What? Why?" She stopped kissing her but didn't get up. She didn't want to lose the connection. A bit of panic settled in her body. _She doesn't want someone like you. You're used._ She swallowed. "Don't you... don't you want me?"

"Yes.. more than anything... please... don't think I don't.. it's... we have to.. I need to tell you something... before..." She blinked and saw her eyes. There was a combination of fear and lust trying to battle it out. "I have... I was somewhere earlier... I was with..." Emily pressed her fingers against Naomi's lips.

"Don't say it. I don't... I don't care." She hadn't allowed herself to think about it, that she would have someone. It made sense. She was strong, determined. Beautiful. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She closed her eyes a moment. Her fingers caressed Naomi's lips. "I don't want to know. Ok?" She opened her eyes. "Right now I don't want to know. It's you and me... in this room. I've waited most of my life for this... for you. I don't care." She removed her fingers and kissed her again. "I don't care... I don't care." Emily's hands slipped under Naomi's shirt and began pushing it up. "Please... I need you. I need this from you. From only you." She was shaking and hoped the blonde wouldn't deny her.

Naomi could hear the emotion in the words. She could feel the desire in her touch, her kiss. She flipped them over and looked down into those chocolate eyes. She stripped off her own shirt and began pulling Emily's off. She wouldn't listen to the voice in her head. She couldn't. She needed to listen to the voice in her heart and the voice of the woman she'd been searching for. The woman here with her.

..

 _He woke up with his arms wrapped tightly around her. The light streaming in through the windows was a curse and a blessing. Emily actually looked peaceful. He'd seen her sleep one time or another. But a nap on the couch was nothing like this. Her body and face were relaxed. He ran a hand through her hair. She moved and curled even more into him. It was then he noticed they were both still naked. And his body was very awake. She noticed a moment after he did and she woke with a start, the sheet falling away and her breasts were visible._

 _Cook looked away. "Morning." She pulled the sheet up to cover herself._

 _"Hi." She lay back on the bed but no longer in his arms. He turned to face her. It made things less evident._

 _"You... you ok?" He was trying to think of anything that would get his morning erection to go down._

 _Emily looked at him, his messy hair. She smiled. She nodded. "Yeah... I'm ok. Sore." She let out a small laugh. Cook grimaced._

 _"Sorry? I'm... yeah.. anyway..."_

 _"Are you?" She knew he wasn't entirely comfortable with what happened. But they were both safe now. That's how she was seeing it._

 _"Am I what? Sorry? Yes. I mean... I didn't mean to hurt... I tried going slow." She touched his face._

 _"Not that. Are you ok?"_

 _"Oh... yeah... yeah.. I think so." He looked at her. "Did I take advantage of you?" She shook her head. "Ok."_

 _"I don't think I've ever slept as well in this house." He smiled at that. "You're like a teddy bear."_

 _"Oy." He hit her with his pillow and she giggled. She gave the pillow back and decided to lay next to him. He froze at first but then put an arm around her. "We're ok?" She nodded. "Ok."_

 _.._

"Naomi..." She moaned her name loudly. Their mouths mashed into each others. The hunger seemingly incapable of being satiated. Emily could feel Naomi's fingers moving in and out of her forcefully. She was soaking the sheets. Her own fingers were in the blonde's hair, scratching up her back.

Their clothes had come off quickly after their shirts have been discarded. One look at Emily topless and she needed to see all of her. Her delicate skin, her curves. Dreams rarely held up to reality but Naomi thought her imagination needed work because it paled in comparison to this. To her. Her mouth had kissed her lips, her neck. Her hands cupping and squeezing everywhere. Emily had been equally as lusting. Her touch was softer but she left no piece of Naomi unexplored.

They hadn't taken it slow. They couldn't. It was a race against the time they had lost. Emily was ripping away layer after layer of sexual memories. Every touch from someone unwanted. Every grunt and groan. She was letting Naomi paint over them. With her kisses, her fingers. The first time her finger slid into Emily she almost cried. She held the tears back and let her back arch, her hips pushing against her for more.

"Naomi... please... harder..." She wanted to be owned by her. She wanted her. She was choosing her. She'd lost track how long they had been at it but the sun was casting light into the room. She could see the sweat on Naomi's forehead as she continued to fuck her. "Oh.. god..." Her muscles were clamping down on the fingers. Waves of pleasure were erupting through her. The world slipped away and all she could feel was Naomi.

She was everywhere. Her scent. Her taste. Emily had already worshiped between the blonde's legs and licked her to orgasm more than once. She'd savored the heady taste of her. Naomi had returned the favor in kind. Her mouth drinking every drop from Emily's pussy. She'd listened and felt as she sucked on her lips, her clit. She'd hummed. She felt the vibrations all the way through her hips. It was an enormous feeling. She couldn't imagine it being better. She recalled thinking, _This... This is what it should be_.

And now she was fucking her to another climax. She couldn't tell when she'd added the third finger but she could tell she was open wider. Emily let out a small scream and felt warm liquid gushing out of her. She heard Naomi gasp and her eyes flew open. A rush of heat flooding her entire body.

"Did I..." Emily could feel her cheeks getting redder and it wasn't the rush of endorphins.

"Uh... yeah.. yeah..." Naomi looked at her hand and was marveling at the wetness.

"Oh my god.." Emily went to get up and rush out but Naomi held her in place.

"Hey... it's not a big deal. It isn't a bad thing at all."

"I hadn't... this is.." Emily covered her face. "I"m so embarrassed." Naomi wiped her hand a bit on the sheets and touched Emily's face with the other.

"Hey... it's good." She leaned in and kissed her. Emily opened her eyes and saw the delight in the blue ones staring back. "You've never?" She shook her head. "Hmm... I might be feeling a bit of pride."

"Ugh..." Emily pulled the sheet over her head and listened to the contented laughter of the woman she was almost positively and completely in love with.


	15. Chapter 15

After last chapter's happy endings... we are back to wanting to throw things at the screen...

Thank you to marsupial for always having my back

Thank you to my phenomenal readers and reviewers... I do love torturing all of us (yes myself included as it was pointed out by guest reviewer Andy that I must feel for the characters as I am the writer.. I do.) But as Bill said, "This is me at my most masochistic."

warning: dark things lurking... not for the faint-hearted... yes evil

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my thoughts.

* * *

Chapter 15

 _It had been six months since Laura and Katie had their dinner outlining Emily's new routine. Six months since she and Cook had begin sharing a bed. Everything had been moving along nicely. Katie was content and Luke was well behaved. He would torment Cook with passing comments. He liked the girl too much. It was obvious. He couldn't help but react. It was subtle but it was there. Luke would laugh at him. He told him to remember the conditions of Emily's status, that he could see all. Every time he brought that up, an immense amount of guilt filled Cook. It didn't take long for Emily to notice it in him, the changes. She knew when Luke had been needling him. She continued to remind him that it was ok. Each time he tried to pleasure her as much as possible. He wouldn't let her do much to him. Their friendship hadn't changed. And for all the shit, she had to admit that Luke had been right about one thing. She did like Cook closer to her. It was something to feel loved especially when being held as she slept._

 _It didn't take her by surprise when Katie told her they needed to go to the gynecologist. She couldn't fault them in that respect. She'd had checkups regularly and deemed healthy. She noticed Cook wasn't the driver today and that struck her odd but she shrugged it off. When they arrived, she noticed it wasn't her usual doctor. She looked at Katie who exited the vehicle without a glance or a word. The rode the lift to the third floor of a high end medical building and were walked through reception directly into an office._

 _Emily's eyes scanned the shelves, the diplomas. She finally spoke. "Katie... what is this?"_

 _"It's a doctor visit."_

 _"Not my regular one."_

 _"No. You need a specialist for this." She wasn't even glancing her way._

 _"Why?"_

 _Katie turned to her. "Because I can't have kids and you can. So this doctor is going to examine you and make a plan of action so you can donate some of your eggs."_

 _"Oh." She was in a bit of shock when the doctor came in. He introduced himself and talked primarily to Katie. He asked a few things here and there from Emily but mostly he followed Katie's lead in conversation. Finally he turned to her._

 _"Miss Fitch... Emily... just so you're aware of the procedure..." Katie was about to interrupt but he shook his head. "I need to explain it to her. While I understand our... agreement, she needs to be a willing party and offer her informed consent as it is her body that is not only donating the eggs but will carry them fertilized embryos to term."_

 _.._

Emily stared at the sleeping Naomi. She should be asleep herself. While it looked to be mid-morning, she wasn't the least bit tired. Something had given her new breath last night. She was angry at herself for ever trying to end things but at the same time forever grateful for her stupidity. She hadn't put forth her intent and mind to end it all in one moment in private. Choosing to go out in a bit of hedonistic hell had led Naomi to her. Her own mind was telling her that she should count her lucky stars but also telling her she couldn't let herself get so low again. She ran her fingers over Naomi's shoulder. There was a love bite there and she couldn't recall biting that spot. Other spots yes, but not there. She recalled telling her not to say anything, that she didn't care. It held true now. She could have been with a dozen people hours before and Emily would still welcome her with open arms. Maybe she hoped that Naomi would overlook her past.

 _How many things is she supposed to overlook? You were dying when she found you. You've been your sister's pet almost your entire adult life. Her boyfriend's bargaining chip. How many have you fucked for them? A dozen?_ She was sure she'd had maybe five women, Naomi included. But there were a number of males. _None since Cookie though._ She breathed a little easier at that reminder. Because of whatever agreement he had reached with Luke and Katie, it was only him. _Him and Laura. Don't forget her._ She cringed. She would need to tell Naomi about her. _Why? You don't want to know about whoever she's been with why should she know about yours? Because I'm the one who needs to face her life._ It was a bit of clarity. A bit of blinding clarity. She resisted bounding off the bed. Instead, she slowly crawled out of it and found her clothes.

..

Effy had woken up earlier even if she'd only gotten a couple hours of sleep as it was. She'd grabbed Naomi's keys from the coffee table. She'd managed to get Cook on the couch with minimal help from him. She could have sworn he was drunk as he babbled, apologizing for everything, for letting everyone down. She'd stripped him of his clothes save for his boxers. She didn't bother talking to him then. She would when he was rested. He'd failed no one. The drive didn't have a solid line of proof but it had possibilities. She'd driven back to her flat to retrieve her main laptop and a couple of other items. She placed a call to his handler. She'd figured out who he was a couple of years ago from bits and pieces Cook had mentioned and her own research. He met with her and confessed she was scary. She took it as a compliment. She would meet him for coffee before going back to Northfleet. She'd hoped everyone would behave until she got back.

She made a copy of the drive then decided to make a second copy. She stored the back up in one of her hidey holes in the flat along with other external drives full of programs and information she'd gathered over the years. She didn't get people and their lack of attentiveness within their lives. She was also thankful for it. Some of her work was easier because of it. Other times it was moral satisfaction when putting the authorities on someone's trail. She wasn't perfect but there were things and people she wanted the world to be rid of. Presently it was Luke and Katie. Siblings or not, she would make sure they would face some punishment.

..

"Cook." Emily was kneeling next to his sleeping form. She didn't want to be rude and wake him but she needed him. She touched his face. "Cookie... open your eyes." He slowly got them open and he smiled at seeing her.

"Hey..." He touched her face and leaned in to kiss her as he had done almost every morning. His movements let him know he wasn't in their bed. His eyes popped open and she put a hand over his mouth to stop him from saying anything too loud.

"Shh... don't wake them." He stared at her and moved her hand.

"What's the matter? You ok?" He was trying to whisper and she put a finger to his lips. Even when he whispered in the mornings he could be loud.

"I'm fine. I need your help though." He nodded. He had never denied her. "Ok.. we need to go back."

"What the..." He sat up then but she put her hand back on his mouth. She was almost on his lap given his motions. He wanted to talk but she refused to remove her hand. Her eyes were set on his and he wanted to shake her. He opened his mouth and licked her hand.

"Eww.. what the fuck Cookie? God." She had a disgusted look on her face as she wiped her hand on her jeans. He would have laughed if not for her previous statement.

"Emily... we can't. There's nothing there you can't replace." He knew she had some photographs and he forgot to grab them just in case but it wasn't worth it. _Maybe not to you_.

"Cookie... listen to me... please. I need to." He was about to protest so she let it out. "I want to see this through. I want you to get them. I want to help... hoping you were really a good one and learning you are... wait.. that sounded wrong. You have always been a good one. Always. To me." She took his hands. She wanted him to feel that connection. "You've cared for me, shown me things my own... please. We can do this. We can find what proof you need. I have an idea but not sure yet... I need some time to sort it, see if it would work."

"Emily... if we go back... I don't know what they will do to you. I don't know if we'll be allowed to..." She shook her head.

"You know what my sister wants. You know she wouldn't put my life at risk."

"She can do a lot.. both of them can... your life.. it doesn't have to be at risk. You know this. Why are we even.." He tried to get up and she pushed him down.

"Stop." He wasn't used to her being this assertive. It unsettled him a bit but he felt his heart swell too. "I _am choosing_. Me. I am choosing what I do. Not them. Not you." She swallowed. She could feel her insides trying not to turn to jelly. "I know how they are... more than most... but they need to be dealt with. It was one thing when I thought... when I thought there wasn't any hope. It's another when I know there is. You. Effy. Naomi. That's hope."

"Bollocks little twin." He looked at her, the sadness threatening to overtake him. "I did fuck all while they..."

"You did what you had to. What you needed to." She touched his chest. "I'd probably been dead long ago if not for you. We did what we had to." He wasn't convinced. "Give me a week..."

"You need a week... a week to do what little twin? A week to do something I've barely been able to do in..." She quieted him again.

"Laura. I need to talk to Laura."

"Jesus..." She clamped his mouth with her hand.

"Lick me and I punch you in the cock." She was serious and he wanted to laugh. It was ridiculous. "She's not..."

"A raging cunt? Yeah, she is." He hissed as he pulled her hand away. "I know what she has you do."

"You do?" She looked at him incredulously. He looked away.

"Ok... not exactly but Luke..."

"He's barely met her."

"She talks to Katie." He countered. "And she tells him. He fucking throws it in my face.. every time... he says..." She took his face in her hands.

"What he says she said doesn't mean everything. I won't lie. You know she fu... has her way with me as often as she wants. But she's... she's not evil. She can help me. Us."

"You can't trust'er."

"Do you have a better idea?" He hated himself for not having one.

"Stay with 'em. With the girls. I'll go back and..."

"And what? Luke would kill you at the snap of Katie's fingers. You don't have anything they need." She was right. They both knew it. "With me going back... we both have a chance to do something good... together." She rubbed his chest absently. "Choosing this... it's me taking my life back."

"Not much of a life little twin... not there. Here... those two... they care. The fucking care." He was hissing it through his teeth. "Effy... she's great. Truly. I could breathe a little easier if I knew you were with her."

"I need to do something."

"Join a knitting circle." She slapped his chest. "Fuck you're violent."

"Please Cookie." She was giving him the look. He had been on the receiving end of the look before and it always worked in her favor. Usually it was something silly. Ice cream at 2am. Skipping out to a park after a business outing. Making him watch dumb kid movies that made her laugh. She knows what gets you. He sighed.

"A week. If you got nothin' I'm getting you out. I'll tank my career. Get hurt. Whatever happens... a week. No arguments." She nodded and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you Cook."

"Guessing we're not waking them and telling them?" He pushed her aside gently and reached for his trousers. She shook her head. "Ok... I'll steal a car. I don't fancy taking theirs if we're going back to hell."

..

 _They climbed into the car silently. The driver didn't even give Emily a second look. She hadn't cried much to her own surprise. She thought it was the shock of it all. The doctor had explained the procedures. He'd explained the need for today's thorough exam. He'd provided a list of vitamins and such. She squirmed as she sat there. The exam had been normal enough but it felt more invasive than general. Having her sister in the room was a first. Having her ask questions about the possibility of multiple births, more than one pregnancy over time. Emily had been asked if she was on board with it all. Like she could say no. Like she could go against her sister._

 _"Katie." Her voice sounded small._

 _"What?" She didn't look at her. She barely gave her attention._

 _"Will this... will this make you stop..."_

 _"Stop what?" She turned then. Her eyes hidden behind sunglasses. Emily's eyes on display. She wasn't allowed the simplest things to shield herself._

 _"Hating me." She kept her eyes up. As much as she was feeling, she didn't want to not see if there was a glimmer of who her sister had been._

 _"Emily... I don't..." She wanted to say she didn't hate her, but she wasn't sure it could be seen as anything but hate. She knew she'd made choices that had hurt and almost damned her twin. What little doubt she'd had about her behavior had been early on. And it had been fleeting once she'd given into her rage. "You belong to me Emily. If I hated you, I'd have you taken care of." She paused. "I'm still caring for you aren't I? You're still in my home. You've not been dispatched. So quit thinking I hate you."_

 _"What then?" She let the words out and there was sadness in them._

 _"I don't know." She looked back at her phone. She addressed the driver. "Don't go home yet. Hit the mall. We're going shopping."_

 _.._

Effy got back to Northfleet and slowly entered the house in case everyone was still asleep. She'd brought back scones, danishes and croissants for them. The conversation with Cook's handler had gone well. He would pass along the information and wait for contact from Cook to officially pull him out. She was given the green light to informally investigate. He would have contracted her to formally investigate under extenuating circumstances but that would mean paperwork and lines she couldn't cross. This way he had plausible deniability and anonymous tips worked wonders.

She saw that Cook was no longer on the couch and expected he would be in the loo. Setting down the pastries, she went to see if the girls were up but still in bed. The bedroom door was ajar and she didn't hear any conversation. She peeked in, in part to see how they slept together. To see if it was as peaceful as she imagined it would be knowing her best friend. She was surprised to find Naomi sprawled out naked on the bed with no sign of Emily. She frowned and checked her bedroom to see if maybe the twin had wanted more bed space. No one. She began to panic and checked the loo. Nothing. "Fuck." She pulled out her mobile and began dialing Cook's phone.

"Naomi!" She stormed into the bedroom yelling. "Naomi! Get your arse up. We've got a problem!" The call went to voicemail immediately. The blonde sat up disoriented. She didn't cover herself as it was only Effy standing there.

"What?" She yawned and stretched. "Why are you yelling?" She looked around. "Where's Emily?"

"That's why I'm yelling. They're gone. Both of them."


	16. Chapter 16

your daily dose... I'm exhausted... if anyone wants me to slow down, please let me know...

Thank you to marsupial for your wisdom and your chutzpah.

Thank you to tigertrap, dammitnaiomily, mynameislizzie2 and... (drumroll) Andy34 who has joined us in an official non-guest reviewer...

Seriously, thank you so much to everyone reading. I know I have some deep dark bitter chocolate issues but I swear the journey will be worth it.

warnings: dark.. dark... with a chance of getting darker... thunderstorms even. if you've read this far in the story, you know I pull no punches but I'm not gratuitous.

disclaimer: I own nothing but my thoughts... and Laura - I need to claim that bitch don't I? sigh... I need a nap

* * *

Chapter 16

"Fuck fuck fuck." Naomi was ranting as she dressed. She was cursing every other breath. Effy was still trying to reach Cook but it never rang, just voicemail. She sent him text after text that went unanswered. "I'm going to rip him in two. That fucking no good bastard lied. He lied and took her back. He fucking cares about his goddamn job more than he..."

"He doesn't." Effy said it plainly.

"Oh right... Ms. Know it all. Thank you for your brilliant statement. Care to tell me then where your lovely 'Monster Boy' has taken Emily? Hmm... Speak louder please, I don't want to miss your wisdom."

"Fuck off Naoms." She was up and in Naomi's face. "You act like you're the only one who cares. Like this is your crusade all because what? You've been wanting to get in her pants since you kissed at some stupid party? Yeah... congrats you achieved your goal. I'm pretty sure half the neighborhood heard you finally giving into your destiny until the wee hours of the morn." There was fire in both their eyes.

"We trusted him because you said to."

"No. I trusted him because I know him. _We_ trusted him because Emily trusted him. He didn't force her to go anywhere. She was more than willing to return last night if you recall." The blonde was fuming. She screamed and threw her hands in the air.

"What the fuck do we do now? We can't let this stand Effy."

"We don't know for sure she went back." Effy knew she was likely wrong about having any doubt. But it was a maddening feeling losing Emily so quickly. She needed to do something.

..

 _They were seated in a restaurant after their shopping trip. Emily couldn't understand. Her sister hadn't been a bitch to her the entire afternoon. She hadn't much addressed her but at least she hadn't been a bitch. She'd been demanding with the people at the stores. All in all, she'd bought them both at least six outfits and a host of undergarments. The undergarments were more extravagant that she was accustomed to but she didn't object. For once, she was having a decent time. As long as she didn't think about the doctor and everything else that went with it. The server came by to take their drink order._

 _"We'll have the pomegranate martinis and the chilled lobster bisque." He nodded but didn't smile at her. She didn't bother looking at him. She looked at her phone when a message came through but then put it down. Emily looked around the restaurant. It was one of those high-end places that was likely all the rave but she'd never heard of._

 _"This is nice." Katie looked at her blankly for a moment._

 _"Yeah... it's doable." She crossed her arms and stared at Emily. "You are going to do it right?"_

 _"Do what?" She looked at her twin._

 _"The egg thing. You're doing it."_

 _"I didn't realize I had a choice." It came out curt and for a brief moment, she saw a hint of the sister she used to have. There was a moment of grief and doubt but it was gone as fast as it came._

 _"This is important to me. I want you to do it. But it'll be better for the baby if you're on board with the whole thing." Emily wanted to scream. She closed her eyes and the server appeared with their drinks. "Thank you."_

 _"Thanks." She took a sip and then another. She wanted to be completely drunk. She didn't want to sit across from Katie. She didn't want the lobster bisque. She didn't want the clothes. She took a long drink from her glass._

 _"Uhh.. you're supposed to sip it."_

 _"Oh? Silly me." She was feeling angry and emboldened. "Thought you wanted me to drink up and be a good girl. Nod and follow along with whatever it is you have on your fucking mind." Katie looked slightly taken aback at the attitude._

 _"What crawled up your arse? I was being nice to you... Like what the fuck Emsy?"_

 _"What the fuck really? Katie..." She shook her head. There weren't many people around them but she didn't want to attract any attention. "You took me to a fertility clinic."_

 _"It's a private practice... not a clinic."_

 _"It doesn't matter. You took me there without so much as a 'hey by the way'... You fucking sprung it on me. You didn't ask!" She finished her drink and knew she was letting her emotions get away from her._

 _"Does it fucking matter?" Katie was playing with her glass. She wasn't sure what was going on but she wasn't utterly content._

 _"Does it... of course it fucking matters!" She tried again to keep her voice down but she was failing._

 _"Why?" Katie couldn't understand why her sister was choosing this moment to be stubborn. In her mind, this was a trust she was granting her._

 _"Wh... Fuck's sake you're a selfish cunt."_

 _"Watch yourself, Emily."_

 _"Or what?" She knew she was pushing the limit but she was truly overcome with anger. It was her body. It's always been your body. You never stopped them before. She hated that notion. It wasn't wrong. But this felt even more intrusive than what she'd been subjected to before. "What will you do to me? Huh?"_

 _"Emily." The voice came from behind her and she was startled. She turned to see Laura standing there with a smile on her face. "You ok?" Her hand on Emily's shoulder was both warm and commanding._

 _"Laura...Yeah... I just..." She was confused. Emily wasn't expecting her today. She had been seeing her at least once a week for six months. Sometimes it was twice a week. She no longer escorted or entertained any other business associates. There was something calming about the entire arrangement. She only needed to concern herself with Cook and Laura. "Sorry." She found herself apologizing and feeling like she'd been chastised._

 _"Whatever." Katie huffed. She stood up. "I ordered the bisque. You can order a fresh drink. I didn't know what you wanted." She greeted Laura with a light hug and a kiss on the cheek. "She's not on the rag but she might as well fucking be." Laura played with Emily's neck. "Your driver find mine ok?"_

 _"Yes. He should be transferring the bags to my car." Emily looked between them quickly but said nothing. Her anger a puddle at her feet. "You sure you won't stay... have a drink with us?"_

 _"No. I'm not in the mood to deal with her." Katie stormed off without a look back. Laura took a seat next to, instead of across from Emily. Her hand still in contact with her. It had moved from her shoulder to her neck to her hand. All without breaking the touch._

 _"What was all that about?"_

 _"Nothing."_

 _"It didn't sound like nothing." She fixed her with a look and could see Emily squirming in her seat. It was thrilling to have that effect on her. At first, Laura wasn't sure she could possess her. She'd obviously wanted her but she didn't know if she could be like Katie – completely taking over someone. But with time, she realized she didn't have to be her. She could do it differently. A little kindness went a long way. Little by little she could see Emily bending to her will without threats, without force. It had made for interesting nights in her flat. She smiled at Emily. "Tell me."_

 _"She wants... she can't have kids and wants me to do it for her."_

 _"Ahh... she'd mentioned it." Emily looked up at her with a surprised expression._

 _"What? You... you knew?" Laura nodded and tasted Katie's forgotten drink._

 _"Oh, that is good. Sweet. Of course, I knew. We talked about it." She wasn't going to hide that Emily was the topic of discussion among the friends. She gave her a reassuring smile._

 _"You never said..." Emily swallowed and felt uneasy._

 _"I thought it best it came from her." Laura laced their fingers together._

 _"And you're... you're ok with this?" The woman shrugged as she took another sip._

 _"Look... it's shocking. I get it. Not exactly the best thing to hear but it's not entirely terrible either."_

 _"Not... how can you..."_

 _"You do this and you're giving her something she needs, craves. If this works... and there's no guarantee it will, she will feel like she owes you. Think about that." Laura looked into her eyes. She lifted her hand and touched Emily's face. It was a soft touch. Emily was looking at her lap._

 _"You don't think it's... I mean.. it's my body." Laura nodded. "She should have asked."_

 _"Would you have said yes?"_

 _"I don't... I don't know.. I don't think they should be... their life... it isn't.."_

 _"Meant for kids? No. But maybe this will change them." Emily balked at that. "I'm not talking immaculate divinity interference here. It might give them... I don't know .. maybe a different perspective. And maybe... just maybe... you could get away once they have what they want."_

 _"I don't know..." She was filled with doubt. Could she give them this? Could she be able to walk away then? The server came over and took note of the change in persons at the table._

 _"Oh don't mind us. Bring out the meal when it's ready. Do get us another round though. These are heavenly." Laura charmed the server and then looked at Emily. "Hey." She raised her gaze. "Let's forget about this. We don't have to worry about any of it for the time being." She took Emily's hand and brought it to her lips._

 _"How did you know where we were?"_

 _"Katie texted. She thought it would be a nice surprise." She smiled as she lied. It had been planned that Laura would take her after the doctor's visit. It was the reason for the shopping trip. The reason for the new assortment of undergarments. Laura and Katie had gone to the stores on a previous afternoon and made note of what the former preferred. Emily smiled._

 _"It is."_

..

Cook and Emily took a breath before walking into the house. He'd made a call ahead and let them know they were on their way, that he had found her. While they both looked worn out, there was an energy to Emily that both made him proud and scared. They walked into the house and went right for the den where Luke and Katie would be waiting. They'd passed about four of the boys on the way but no one said anything.

When they stepped in, he closed the doors behind him. Katie was pacing while Luke was sitting in an armchair. The twin was a mixture of concern and rage. She stormed over to Emily who looked at her. The slap was sharp and made Cook wince. It made Luke smile a bit. "What the fuck were you thinking you selfish cow?" She screamed in Emily's face. "How fucking dare you jeopardize everything?"

"I'm sorry." Emily spoke. Her cheek was on fire. She had expected something but it was still shocking. "I didn't think."

"You didn't fucking... you ignorant bitch! You were pregnant and you fuck off to what? Lose yourself in the moment?"

"No. I wasn't..." Emily looked at her and summoned the story they came up with. "I'd... I'd felt cramping... I ended up in the bathroom... I lost it... you and Luke were in Greece by then... I didn't want to call...and it.. it set me off." She grimaced as she said it. "I took off... I needed to explode.. to just..." She looked up to find Luke staring off at the window and a look she couldn't describe on her sister's face.

"You lost it..." Emily nodded. "But... shit." She looked at Cook. "Why the fuck didn't you say something?"

"I didn't know... she didn't tell me until a little bit ago. She called me on my mobile... explained it. Asked me to pick her up, bring her home." He shuffled his feet and kept his hands in his pockets. He was trying to look contrite, apologetic. He needed to sell it as much as Emily. Katie was looking at her sister.

"We need to get you into the doctor's." Emily shook her head.

"I don't want to."

"You don't... Emily. We can't risk..."

"I went to a clinic right after it happened... I.. look I don't want to talk about it. It... the pregnancy shouldn't have happened anyway right? Cook and I need to be more careful... it wasn't like you were happy about it."

"Emily! I wasn't not happy. How can you..." Luke stood up and took Katie by the shoulders. She was shaking.

"Cook... why don't you take Emily up to your bedroom. See that she rests. You both should. You look worn out. I'll have Finnegan bring you up a tray of food." He was being uncharacteristically nice and it frightened them. But he was rubbing his girlfriend's shoulders as she was trying to hold it together. "Go on." Cook took Emily's hand and led her out. He turned Katie around and hugged her as she started crying.

..

When they got to their bedroom, they both paused before entering. Emily and Cook fully aware of the camera now. It had taken a while to find it but they had. She walked into the en-suite and he followed right behind.

"I think... holy fuck... I think they bought it." Emily was now shaking where she stood. Cook wrapped his arms around her.

"I might vomit." He said it into her shoulder and she almost laughed if she didn't feel the same. Her own arms encircling him. He pulled away and looked at her face. The red still evident from the strike. "Your sister packs a wallop."

"Yeah." She leaned into him. "I can't tell if it's good or bad that she didn't hit me more."

"I know what you mean." He kissed the top of her forehead. "Easier when it's physical." She nodded. "You can't let them take you to a hospital or a doctor."

"I know."

"Not if you weren't pregnant. The doctors... they'll know." Another nod from her. "And I know it's 'sposed to be all confidential and shit but they get around that don't they." She nodded. "I'm babbling." She squeezed him.

"You're worried."

"No shit." He shook his head. "When will you call her?"

"Soon..."

"You sure she'll help?"

"No." He looked into her eyes.

"Fuck little twin... you're killing me. You said..." He was looking like he'd been kicked.

"I know what I said." She held on to him. She couldn't have him bailing. He wouldn't leave her. That much was certain. But he needed to keep up appearances. "I'll call. Ask to spend time with her. When I'm at her place, I'll tell her the truth." His eyes opened wide. "Not the whole truth... the truth about the pregnancy... she won't say anything. I won't tell her about you or the girls. But she's in business with them."

"Sherlock I know that but..."

"She isn't as... careful. I've seen her home office." She blushed when she said it. A vivid memory of being bent over her desk came into her mind. Papers everywhere. Computer coming awake with the barest move of the mouse. "There's no login screen. It goes straight to a desktop."

"That doesn't mean..."

"It means I can look."

..

"Got it!" Effy yelled. Naomi perked up from the small kitchen and ran into the living room.

"You sure?" She got raised eyebrow tossed her way. "Right. So where is the fucker?"

"Erpingham Road." Effy said as she closed her laptop. She'd managed to find Cook's mobile signal and hack into it, getting his exact location.

"Let's go." Naomi grabbed her jacket and was out the door.


	17. Chapter 17

another dose of daily mayhem

thank you to marsupial for being her, for being there even when she's had a crap week (show her love if you can peeps)

Thank you dammitnaomily, mynameislizzie2, tigertrap and all my readers for their trust...

warning: dark... this is a work of fiction exploring the possibilities of personal psychopathies and the consequences thereof as it affects others. that is as much trigger as I can offer as I don't know what personal triggers we each carry. but if you've read this far, you know my dark.

disclaimer: my brain may give out at any moment and you may not get a daily dose at some point...

* * *

Chapter 17

 _She came out of the loo and into the bedroom wearing some of Laura's favorite things. It had been three months since that doctor visit. She had been afraid that the original visit would lead to immediate action but it didn't work that way. They had done lab work after lab work to verify hormone levels and such. Then the doctor asked for Luke to be tested as well. That had been more trouble. While he would do anything for Katie, business required him to be out of the country at times. This was a busy season. But she knew it was only a matter of time. Katie had been treating her well or at least leaving her alone. Laura had been working on designs and had a show coming up but she had an open weekend and requested her company._

 _Emily always felt a little silly in the lingerie. The colors were suited to her skin tone but they felt like they should be on someone better endowed. More sexual. Laura was sitting on her sofa when she finally made it out of the bedroom. She'd been told to meet her out there. Something about the fireplace and the décor allowing for a fuller experience. Laura was looking at her with a lascivious smile. Emily blushed. She stood in front of her wearing a red triangle bra with a plunging v-shape. It was decorated with lace and small beads to add sparkle in certain light. Her thong matched the bra. There was a garter belt but it hadn't been requested today. The shoes were another matter. They were red high-ankle open strap heels. Over 10cm in height. It gave her entire body a different feel and look. Emily was on display for her. Had it been anyone else she might have tried to avoid it, run from it. As it was, she still wanted to hide._

 _She'd been wearing similar outfits since the shopping trip after the doctor's visits but it was different. She'd be told to wear it under a particular outfit, the reveal taking place in the bedroom. Rushed hands and acts meaning less exposure while wearing the outfit. But Laura was always wanting more. She wanted to lift all of Emily's personally restrictive barriers. More control. She knew she'd been giving into her. She wasn't unaware. But it felt better than her previous encounters._

 _When Luke and Katie had sent her off to accompany someone with perks as they referred to it, she'd had no choice. They made the rules. The business associates adhered to them. She was made aware of what could happen and what couldn't. She'd also had someone to watch her every time, protecting her from unauthorized activities. The only times Cook wasn't present when she was the entertainment had been with Laura. Somewhere she had garnered special privileges with Emily from Luke and Katie. She hadn't known why or asked but it was evident to her that this was the better scenario._

 _"Extraordinary." The one word caused Emily's body heat to rise. Laura was beautiful. She was smart. Emotionally there was a connection but it wasn't substantial. She imagined it was partly because she was the only woman she'd been with more than once. It was alluring to be desired by her. She approached her and Laura held her hand up. She stopped moving, knowing how to behave for her wordless commands. She twirled her fingers and Emily followed suit turning for her, letting her see every bit of her. She bade her come closer with her finger and then pointed to the floor. Emily knelt in front of her._

 _.._

"You could pull up closer."

"No." Effy had had the keys in hand before they'd walked out of the house as Naomi was searching her pockets for her. She'd put up a fuss about it being her car and driving. The brunette gave her a look and got behind the steering wheel. The blonde had no choice but jump in the passenger's seat. She grumbled about being licensed to operate an ambulance. The only reply was that she normally wasn't fucking the patients. There was silence after that. They'd arrived at Erpingham Road and circled around until they could locate the signal.

The house was being guarded by what looked like two guards at the front door. Effy had spied one car with two men in it across the street. She'd chosen a parking spot on a side street with a marginal view of the residence. She didn't need them getting caught. She doubted any of the guards knew what she and Naomi looked like. They might not even know of their involvement but they didn't need further complications. "This is bollocks. We should go up.."

"And what? Ring the doorbell?"

"We can call the cops."

"Brilliant. Why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, cause Emily is an adult and there were no signs of struggle."

"He had a gun."

"You know he wouldn't hurt her."

"I know no such thing."

"Were we in the same room? The way she talked to him and he to her?"

"Don't know how you'd know, you were so bloody into that fucking tablet." Effy gave her the finger and tried calling Cook again. Just then Naomi's phone buzzed with a text message. She looked at it and sighed.

"Wicked witch of Fashion week?" Effy muttered. Naomi got out of the car and slammed the door. She placed a call.

..

 _Emily was on her knees for only a few silent minutes. She knew Laura was aware of how she felt in these clothes, this position. She'd explained it all during a quiet moment after being taken. Laura had merely waved it away, saying it was part of her fantasies and she needed to understand that. In return, she'd been provided with outings to museums and galleries. She was in a way being cared for. She couldn't seem to find fault with it. Even Cook didn't argue about it as much as he used to. In the beginning, he told her Laura was like all of the others. She wanted her as property and nothing more. Emily hadn't argued back. She'd listened to him and nodded. He'd raged but she'd calmed him. As much as he protected her, she cared for him. She could feel him getting closer to some edge and was able to pull him back._

 _She felt a finger under her chin and raised it to look at Laura. "You are fantastic. You've learned." She swallowed but kept quiet. Funny how she accepted such a place of submission. The voice in her head told her it was who she was. She hadn't yelled at Katie again since that day. She wondered if there would ever be another outburst like that. Or if she was where they wanted her to be. She had a male lover and a female lover. Both keeping her steady and obedient in their own way. Maybe that was enough in life. "Take the bra off." Emily reached behind her and undid the clasp. She let it drop to the floor. A hand reached out and began cupping her breast, teasing the erect nipple until Emily couldn't contain herself. She moaned and whimpered._

..

"Hey... I'm sorry I left.. I had..."

"Save it. I'm sick of your fucking apologies."

"Ok. Then I won't apologize." Naomi was feeling more than her usual stubborn self. She didn't have the energy for another round with her so soon.

"So we're done?"

"I don't... I never said that."

"No, but I'm asking. You found her. Can't imagine you not wanting to be with her and fuck her every which way you used to fuck me."

"Our sex life is the same as it's always been." She had a headache and wanted coffee. She'd remembered the pastries Effy had set on the table and kicked herself for having forgotten them.

"Hello?"

"Sorry. What?" She'd been thinking about sugary goodness and missed an entire rant.

"Forget it. I'll grab what stuff I have here and leave your keys."

"Laura..."

"I have to go. I've another call." The call ended and Naomi cursed. Effy leaned over and knocked on the window from inside the car. The blonde opened the door.

"He's still not picking up but I sent him a text."

"And?" Her patience was at the limit.

"Told him we were outside."

..

"Hi."

"Emily. What a surprise. I didn't expect you to call." She stood in the middle of Naomi's living room. Pictures and books scattered everywhere. There was glass all over the floor from smashed frames and a couple of ornamental vases.

"Yeah... I don't know what my sister told you but... I've been unwell."

"Oh?" She walked to the bedroom and grabbed her overnight bag, already packed with what little of hers had been at Naomi's flat. The bed was soaked with red wine and more glass adorned the floor. This time from the wine bottles. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah... look I hate to impose but... could I come stay with you a couple of days? I need some breathing room and you know what Kate can be like." She paused. Cook was in the shower and he hadn't yet finished. She hadn't let on she was calling. As it was, she had to use the house phone to do it. A mobile was forbidden to her. "You'll need to call them though. You know she'll hand me over if you called."

"You want me to call Kate and ask for _you_?" Laura had a smile on her face and she wondered if she hadn't been too impulsive with Naomi. Maybe she hadn't been planning on leaving her after all. "I can do that. Can you be ready in say a couple of hours?" She looked around and realized there likely wasn't any salvation to the destruction she'd already caused.

"I'm ready now." Emily said and waited for Laura to hang up. When she did she collapsed on to her bed. She'd showered first and gotten into one of the dresses Laura liked. She knew she was putting herself in possible harm's way but she needed to choose her life as she wanted it. And that meant without her sister.

..

Cook turned off the shower and still felt less than energized but at least he was clean. When he looked, Emily had picked up his dirty clothes and set out some clean stuff for him. He toweled off and tossed fresh briefs on. He looked in the mirror and decided to take the time for a shave. He'd been running ragged since Emily had disappeared. _You're still ragged_. He knew it would take a bit more than a shower, a shave, and clean clothes. He wanted her out of here. A taste was all he'd had of being free of this place. He looked in the mirror and felt disgust with himself that he hadn't been able to change anything. They were back at square one. The only difference was that Emily could have something, someone outside of all of this. He lathered his face and set to work. It took him a good twenty minutes by the time he was done and fully dressed.

When he stepped out of the en-suite, he found Emily half curled up on the bed. She was wearing a little blue dress and she looked so peaceful. He went to his nightstand and picked up his watch and his phone. He saw the missed calls and stifled a groan. He knew he would catch hell once Effy caught up to him. He didn't want to think about it. He hadn't stopped Emily from coming back and until they heard it directly from her, they wouldn't believe she'd been the one to decide it. He saw there was a text message and opened it as there was a knock on the door. Dropping the phone on the bed, he went to open it as Emily stirred.

"What's up man?" He opened the door and spoke to Finnegan who stood outside it.

"Miss Katie wants to talk to Miss Emily in the den."

"Alright... we'll be right down."

"Not you. She said just her." Finnegan turned on his heel and walked away.

"Shit.. hey Ems..."

"I heard." She was standing right behind him. She placed a kiss on his cheek. "It will be ok." He nodded and let her walk out of the bedroom. He grabbed his wallet and put it in his pocket. He picked up his phone and remembered the text. When he saw it, his color drained.

..

"Did he reply?"

"No." Effy was hoping maybe his phone was dead and nothing more. Images of him dead flashed in her head and it frightened her. She loved Cook, not like he did her, but she cared for him. She'd not been afraid for his life until she had pulled up the file on Emily, until she had kept digging and found mentions of dead young men due to their alleged association with Luke Martin. There was something to be said about out of sight, out of mind.

"I say we..."

"Stop it Naoms. You're not helping." She snapped at her and it stopped the blonde from pacing back and forth. Effy had moved the car back another two car lengths to give them more cover but it meant standing outside it by a private drive. She couldn't stand to be in the car anyway. It was claustrophobic. "I'm scared too ok."

"Sorry."

Both were so intent to keep an eye on the house that they didn't see him approach from the opposite direction. "What the fuck are you two doing out here?" He growled and they jumped. Naomi letting out a short squeak and Effy slapped at him.

"What the fuck you dick?" She stared at him then hugged him. Cook pushed Effy away. "How'd you get here? We were watching the door."

"There's another way on the other side of the property Einstein and no... no hugging. You two gotta get to fuck. Like now."

"I'm not going anywhere prick. Where is Emily?" Naomi bristled at his attitude.

"Cook you left without..."

"It wasn't me. She wanted to come'ere." Cook couldn't see a way to explain it. He knew it would be a lost cause. But he needed them to leave before they were spotted or worse, they decided to go on up to the house.

"Bullshit." Naomi advanced and Effy stepped between them. Both of them looked red in the face enough to cause damage. It was the last thing they needed.

"Bullshit nothin. Look it ain't what I want neither."

"You really are shit at this. You couldn't stop a..."

"I swear to fuck I'm going to knock you out and toss you in the boot of the fucking car if you don't step off. I'm not for hitting babes but you're on my last nerve." He was almost spitting his words.

"Big man. Big threats. You can't solve your case. You can't protect **one** girl." Effy groaned and tried pushing Naomi away from Cook.

"You got a piece of tail one night, you think you're better than me at taking care o'her? I've been there for her... in _her_ bed better part of a year blondie. It means absolute shit when it comes to..." He didn't finish as Naomi lashed out around Effy's body and landed a blow to his already hurt face. He took a step back and rubbed at the spot.

"Cook..." Effy's warning was for nothing as he pushed her out of the way and grabbed hold of Naomi's jacket. He shoved her against the side of the car forcefully. She stepped forward trying her best to separate them and failing. "Please.. stop this." Naomi had raised her hands and was gripping his wrists. "This isn't helping anyone. Cook!" He let go with a shove and stepped back. Naomi was about to step forward but Effy effectively stopped her. The blonde was pumped on adrenaline and not feeling the ache from hitting the car. Cook used less force than he was capable off but he didn't go easy. He wanted to hurt someone.

"I didn't choose this. I told her to stay with the two o'you. I didn't fucking want her back here." He was still red-faced and looked ready to attack. "She got it into 'er head that she could get the information to shut them down."

"What? Who? Emily?" Naomi was looking at him with renewed anger. "And you let her..."

"I didn't fucking _**let**_ her do a fucking thing."

"Fucking usele..."

"Enough!" Effy was angry. "Cook... whose car just left?"

"What?" He looked at her and looked at the house. The barest hint of a car's boot was speeding away. They'd missed its arrival and almost missed its departure. "Fuck. Fuck!" He screamed it and slammed his fist into the side of the car. "Fucking stupid..." She'd managed to get a hold of her without him being around. He felt helpless.

"Cook!" Effy didn't care for his reaction one bit. "Whose car?"

"That fucking bitch..."

"Katie?" Naomi asked and rubbed the back of her head.

"No...La... no... you don't get to fuck this up." He didn't want them knowing more than what was necessary. The last thing he needed was for them to chase after that car. "Let's say Emily is maybe safer now."

"What do you mean?"

"Her girlfriend just picked her up."


	18. Chapter 18

Daily chapter! Get your daily chapter here! Don't be left out in the cold. Get your daily chapter here. (I've had ample coffee but not enough sleep.)

Thank you to marsupial for reading this one in advance (yes she sometimes gets the scoop on everything... she can be bribed btw... maybe)

Thank you to dammitnaomily, mynameislizzie2, tigertrap, lbea04, Andy34 for the reviews... I owe you all shots if we ever meet up in person...

Thank you to all my beautiful lovely readers

warning: Buckle up creampuffs... oh wait wrong fandom... but you know the drill... it's dark and stormy. the sea is raging and we're about to go for the longest ride from ch18-21... may the force be with you...

disclaimer: I own nothing but my thoughts.

* * *

Chapter 18

 _Katie had been pacing in the den. She'd received a call from Laura asking for Emily's company. At first, she'd said no which took the other woman by complete shock. Then she babbled on about what had been happening. The call didn't last long. Luke had first comforted Katie when Cook and Emily had left the room. Then he took her anger. In the end, he'd pacified her with mention of going to make a deposit at the doctor's. He wasn't not keen on getting Emily to carry their child. But he would have preferred someone else to do it. He wanted someone completely separate from Katie. They could use Emily's eggs but the pregnancy, he felt, should be a stranger. He had his reasons. Some that he hadn't shared with his beloved. A stranger could disappear after the child was born. Her sister could not. He drank his scotch as Emily entered._

 _"Ems..." Katie pointed to an empty armchair. Emily dutifully sat. "I'm... I'm sorry I hit you earlier. It was... careless of me."_

 _Emily blinked at her sister and was glad to be seated. She might have fainted from the apology. She couldn't believe it was heartfelt but even if it wasn't, it was a first. "It's ok. I gave you a fright. I was inconsiderate."_

 _"No matter." Katie waved it off. "Laura is coming by. You'll go with her for a week, maybe longer." Emily's look of surprise was genuine. She'd expected to be allowed a few days but not a week. Did she say more? "It's probably a good thing you know... let you I don't know.. relax... get your body settled... She can take you to the doctor maybe next week? See what they say and maybe we can harvest your..." Emily nodded. She closed her eyes and felt things sliding too fast to where she didn't want them._

 _"How soon?" She cleared her throat. "I know he told me before... but... how soon after he has my eggs will they be... put back?" She tried not to feel weak._

 _"Well... after they fertilize them.. it could be three to five days. I think... yeah... that sounds about right."_

 _"And then?" She swallowed._

 _"Then we make sure nothing goes wrong."_

..

"Her... her what?" Naomi looked like Cook had actually hit her full force. He was wearing out the sidewalk as he stormed about. He couldn't go back to the house in this state. It would look badly. "Stop fucking... moving.. her what?!" She grabbed him and Effy thought he might use his fists but he hit her with something much worse.

"Her... girlfriend. You know... girl on girl." He was turning purple in the face he was so angry. Because of them, he hadn't been by her side. _No. Katie called for her alone. It wasn't them that kept you from her._ "She gets it from her on the regular. Takes her out, shows her a good time. Buys her nice things. Then splits her in two when they get back to her flat. Emily seems to like her." Naomi raged, striking him again and again. Tears fell from her eyes. Effy tried grabbing her and pulling her back. Cook just let her hit him. He stood there with a cut under his eye and a busted lip. There were tears falling down his face as well.

"Cook..." Effy had her arms wrapped around Naomi who was on her knees. He shook his head and sat on the sidewalk.

..

 _"How can you stand her?"_

 _Emily looked up from her locker, a smile already on her face. She knew the voice. They'd been schoolmates since primary. Granted it hadn't been long that they'd actually talked to each other if she could call it that. "She's not that bad."_

 _"Not that bad? Are we talking about the same girl? Your height. Boobs already showing. An ungodly affinity for leopard print... Is there like a store that just sells leopard?" Emily laughed and she started walking to class._

 _"She can be a bit much but she's... I don't know..." Emily replied and casually looked at her own chest. She wondered if hers would qualify as starting to show. She also wondered if Naomi ever looked at her that way._

 _"Loud."_

 _"Yeah she is that." They stopped in the middle of the hallway. "Well.. this is me. Must be off to expand my mind and all. See ya." The blonde wandered off in one direction as Emily stared on. The butterflies zooming around. She wasn't sure why she was moved so much by her._

..

Emily had walked out to the waiting car and they were off no sooner than she was seated inside. Laura was smiling at her, The partition between them and the driver was closed. It wasn't all that unusual. They shared a long kiss and sat back. Laura looked her over.

"I do love that dress on you." Emily smiled at the compliment. But froze at the next words. "You lied to your sister."

"What?" She turned her head to find the other woman already facing her. Laura took her hand in both of hers.

"She told me... about the pregnancy... your loss." She was caressing Emily's hand. "But it was all a lie."

"I didn't..." Emily's voice died with a gurgle. The woman located a spot on Emily's wrist and pressed. It wasn't the first time she'd done it. It wasn't often but it had happened as a precursor to punishment. Laura had acquired a taste for that if Emily broke her rules.

"You lied to her. You were never pregnant." She pressed in deeper. She could see the pain on Emily's face. Emily's other hand remained flat on her lap. She knew it would be worse if she fought. "I know every bit of that body of yours. And you've _never_ been pregnant."

..

 _"Hey there princess. Fancy a drink?" Effy looked over at the messy haired bloke who had sidled up to her at the bar. He looked young. Maybe not young but wild. She laughed._

 _"I fancy many things." She wasn't looking at him directly. She didn't need to. She could see his type from a mile away. He was aching to make his mark on the world by sheer will._

 _"Umm... so is that a yes?" He wasn't waiting and tried waving the bartender down. The guy looked at him but kept serving the girls in front of him instead. "That right there is why this club is going to the shitter. Man can't get served. It's sexist I tell ya." She looked at him and laughed. "Yeaahhh... that's it. Got you to laugh. Love it."_

 _"You're an idiot."_

 _"Yeah... probably." He tilted his head at her. "Have a drink with me. What could it hurt?"_

 _"The drink? It wouldn't hurt a bit. The round of antibiotics I'd need to get over whatever brand of STD you're carrying... that could be painful." She was smiling. There wasn't a hint of meanness in her tone but knew some would take offense anyway._

 _"Clean as a whistle babes." He pointed to his cock. "Lil Cookie got a clean bill o'health. Big Cookie too. Had to to pass."_

 _"Pass what? A kidney stone?" He was making her really smile. He looked around and leaned in._

 _"Nope. To pass the academy." She looked surprised for the first time in a long time, even if he didn't know that._

 _"Starfleet?" She was goading him._

 _"What? Yeah no, I don't know what academy that is." He looked confused. "Police." He whispered it. "I'm going undercover soon and this is last chance I've to get a little fun in."_

 _"Hmm... intriguing. Can you prove it?"_

 _"Prove that I'm clean? Well I've the results in my flat but I don't carry them with me."_

 _"That and the whole academy thing?" He thought about it for a minute. He could find a different girl to shag with less hassle. But there was something about this one that was making him burn. "Still got my badge and diploma. Ain't put them in storage yet."_

 _"Back at your place?" He nodded. She stood up from her stool. "Let's go."_

 _.._

Laura eased up on the pressure and could see the twin take a deeper breath. "I fucked you two weeks ago... I believe you were mid-cycle, no?"

Emily cringed at the reminder. The mess it had made had embarrassed her to no end. She'd tried to avoid sex that visit but Laura had insisted. Even after she told her why. It was as if the more off-balance she could enjoy Emily, the happier she was. She'd not mentioned this to Cook. He had been entirely against her return. If he'd known all the details, he wouldn't have allowed her to even consider it. She nodded. She'd never told Laura about her lie. She imagined maybe Katie had mentioned it but she never spoke about it.

"I imagine you wanted to avoid the real thing." She was back to caressing Emily's hand. "I didn't tell her you lied. You wouldn't be here if I had. I think Katie would have punished you quite severely." She touched Emily's face. Laura's phone rang. She made a face but saw who was calling.

"Jameson you loathsome shit." She answered gleefully and let go of Emily's hand. She began rubbing the sore spot and wondered if she hadn't made a mistake. She'd been so overpowered with the need to do something right, something of her own will, that it might have clouded all of the possible outcomes. She knew the spot wouldn't necessarily bruise. For all her perversions, Laura wasn't entirely fond of bruising her. "You're where? Are the boys there too? Ugh... you're terrible.. No, I can't. I'm with someone. No... definitely not her. That's over and yesterday's trash. Yeah, she was lovely to look at. But..." She paused and gave Emily a longer look. "On second thought..."

..

"I didn't want'er back here Eff. I didn't. I wanted her far away. But she... she has this way... she looks at you.." She reached out to touch him as he sobbed. "I hated it... her getting hurt... I couldn't... I couldn't do anything more than what I did... and sometimes that made it worse." He wiped at his nose. The blood from his cut had dripped down to his chin and it smeared. He put his head in his hands. Naomi had moved away from both of them and was sitting in the car. She had a blank look on her face that betrayed what she felt.

..

 _She has a girlfriend. Big fucking deal. You had one until a few minutes ago. Yeah but I wanted to tell her. She.. she didn't want me to... Say anything? No. Because then she would have been obliged to tell you._ She tilted her head back into the seat and felt the blinding pain from the knot at the back of her head.

 _"She's pretty."_

 _"Who?" Naomi asked as she picked at her chips. She was trying not to pay attention. She didn't want to talk with her about this. She didn't want to talk about it with anyone._

 _"Kate Beckinsale... who the fuck do you think?" Karen picked up a chip and threw it at her._

 _"Oy." They looked at each other until Naomi went back to watching the boys go back and forth on the ramps. Karen's brother Fred was learning new trick and was lousy at it. They mostly came to laugh at him._

 _"Don't pretend you're dense." When she didn't get a response, she reached out and pinched Naomi's arm hard._

 _"Fuck."_

 _"Don't ignore me. You like the little one. Nothing wrong with it."_

 _"Right cause you're the epitome of public opinion." She put her head down on her folded arms. "I don't know what I feel."_

 _"But she is pretty." Karen gave her a smile and a wink._

 _"Yeah she's pretty."_

 _.._

"Cook... tell me... why would she think she could help? You said she thought she could get the information to shut them down. How?" He sniffed and wiped at his face again. Effy wished she had a wet towel to get the blood.

"Her girlfriend... she's part of it."

"What?" Effy looked at him. "You never mentioned Emily or a girlfriend. I mean you mentioned a girl but not by name. And the girlfriend? She's not mentioned in your notes. Not the ones on record." He shook his head.

"She's in there... on the drive. I didn't.. she's started out so low on the radar... It was just another... but then they were putting more money into her business... or future business." He shook his head. "I wasn't allowed near her... Luke... he kept me on other things that I thought were bigger. I thought... it's too messed up in my head... but Emily.. she thinks that she can get information from her girlfriend. Her computer."

"Ok... and she left with her... just now. So she'll be back when?"

"Not for a couple days likely... she's.. she's the only one she's... apart from me." He was rambling. "She gets her for overnights... weekends.. whenever she likes really."

The way he sounded it made Effy's heartache. "You love her?" He nodded.

"Not like you... but..." He shook his head. "I shouldn't."

"But it's there. And I said no." Effy understood that maybe Cook had invested all of the emotion he wanted to give her unto Emily. She more than got it. She looked in the car as Naomi sat there, not moving, not speaking. She didn't know if she was listening. If she would hold it against him. She turned to Cook. "Do you know this woman's name? Or where she lives? Maybe her phone number?" He looked up and smiled.

"That's how you found me." She smiled at him, nodded. "I'm a stupid git sometimes."

"Only sometimes... though Naomi would say all the time."

"Yeah... I was a cunt." He knew he'd said it all on purpose.

"Yes."

"I didn't lie."

"No, but you could have been gentler." He nodded. "So this bitch... name? Address? Phone?" He shook his head.

"No address. Not allowed to take Emily there or pick her up ever so I was never told. Same for the phone number. No reason to contact her."

"What about her name?"

"Just the first... Laura."

..

She had ended the call after telling the voice on the other end she was on her way. Emily hadn't thought she would be left behind at Laura's flat but she also hadn't thought of being allowed to accompany her. She'd never been to anything involving Laura's friends. The closest had been the party they'd been introduced at. _The one where your sister and Luke gave you to her_. She swallowed. If she was left at Laura's flat, maybe it was a bit of good fortune. Laura took her hand again.

"We are going for drinks." Emily nodded. Her heart racing, disappointed and waiting for more pain.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry about lying."

"I don't give a fuck if you lie to your sister. I love her but she's a bitch and we both know that." She touched Emily's leg, moved her hand slowly up her thigh. "It's getting me to cover for your lies, involving me... that I have a problem with." She raked her nails down Emily's inner thigh. She groaned. It hurt but it wasn't entirely an unwelcome pain. She was used to this kind from Laura. "So we are going for drinks with friends. You will behave. Your punishment will wait until we get back to mine."

..

There was a sinking feeling in Effy when Cook said the name. _It's a coincidence Elizabeth. Simply that. Do you know how many Laura's there have to be in London?_ She stood up and got Cook to get off the ground. She opened the driver's door and sat in the car. "Naom?" She was half asleep and Effy had to nudge her to get her to open her eyes.

"What?" She felt groggy and a bit dizzy. She looked to see Cook still standing there, outside the car, hands in pockets. "What's he come to fuck up now?" She tried cracking her neck but was too stiff.

"Stop." Effy rubbed Naomi's arm back and forth. "I know you want to beat each other but we haven't the time for that. You need to table it and maybe once everything is done and there's a happily ever after you can beat each other to bits." She was in a way teasing but trying not to be blind to the underlying jealousy. _Fucking wankers. Not used to sharing._ "We need to get back to my place. I want to see what I can find out on this girlfriend." _Don't say the name. No need to rattle the cage. Not unless it really is her._

"He's not coming with us." Naomi grumbled.

"As much as I want to get abused, I need to stay here. Make sure... I don't know.. make sure things don't blow up in our faces." He'd said ours. They were in it too if not for the same reasons. _Emily. Emily is the reason._

"Little late twat." She said as Effy sighed while looking in the glove box for tissues.

"Here. You look a right mess." She stepped out of the car and wiped at Cook's face. He winced. "I don't know how you'll explain that."

"I'm sure I'll sort it. Don't worry about me princess." He looked at her with sad eyes.

"Oh Cook. I'm no good for you." She straightened out the collar of his shirt.

"I got news for you princess. I'm no good for me neither." He smiled. "Go on.. get 'er out o'here. Reckon neither she nor I can do another go without really doing damage to each other." Effy leaned up and kissed him gently on the lips. She got in the car and they drove off before she could change her mind and take him with them.

..

 _They were scattered over the second floor of the Bristol Museum. A very chipper tour guide was hypnotizing their teacher as the kids walked around and were constantly shushed by security guards. She had kept her distance. Karen hadn't been wrong. She found the girl very pretty. She couldn't talk to her mum about it unless she wanted to have the conversation about love being everywhere in all forms. She could have vomited at the thought of it. Her mum always took everything farther than it needed to be. Proof being the twenty people in and out of their home as an experiment in communal living._

 _She watched as Emily pulled away from her sister's group and walked over to a couple of paintings. Naomi followed but kept her distance. The first was an abstract looking thing. It listed the artist as David Bomberg and the name of the piece as 'In the Hold.' She wasn't much for abstract. She liked art but some things were too out there for her to properly appreciate. Or at least that's what she told herself when she couldn't get it right away. The next painting Emily stopped at was rather garish in Naomi's perspective. It was by Beryl Cook and titled 'Lunch Time Refreshment.' It showed a group of caricature men watching a caricature stripper. Her feminist sensibilities were in a frenzy. It stunned her how long Emily stared at that painting._

 _The teacher was rounding everyone up by then and she didn't have a chance to approach her._

 _.._

The place was quaint to be sure. The car had dropped them off about a block from the entrance to the place due to construction blocking the thoroughfare. It was a nondescript looking building in the middle of the financial district. They climbed the stairs and found themselves in a darkened hallway. Laura knocked three times on a heavy door and a small port opened. A burly voice asked for a password. She said the word ginger and the port closed, but the door opened. They were hit with the sounds of live jazz and fervent conversation.

Emily closed her eyes a second as Laura led her in. She hadn't been in such a loud place in a long time. At least not sober. She opened her eyes once they stopped moving and found herself standing by a bar and a group of men in their late 20's, early 30s dressed in period garb. The décor of the place was what she would refer to as an American speakeasy or a bar in the Peaky Blinders. She felt a chill in her spine.

"Emily darling. I want you to meet these fine boys. This here is John Sinclair, John Wheeler, I think you know JP from.. well you know." She winked at her. JP tipped his hat. "And this bastard is Jameson Mather." He took Emily's hand without asking and kissed the back of it. He then stared at her like she was a dish to be devoured. It made her uneasy. She knew that look.

"She is a beauty. Not that the last one..." Laura reached out and shushed him with her fingers.

"We don't speak ill of the departed."

"She's dead? Did you do it?" John Sinclair blurted out and they all laughed. "I knew you were vicious but..."

"Goodness no. I've done no such thing but we still won't carry on about her in front of present company." She was giving them a look that prevented any of them from disagreeing. Emily wanted to ask but at the same time, she felt dangerously out of place.

"So what do you do?" John Wheeler asked her as he waved for the bartender. JP leaned over and whispered in his ear while Laura put an arm around Emily's waist. From the look on Wheeler's face, she couldn't imagine that anything passed on was favorable to her. She looked around and was thankful for the lighting. It let her blush without comment. Laura answered for her.

"She's a witch who can charm any man or woman that crosses her path. So I warn you, stay clear." They laughed and cheered. Laura squeezed her. She leaned in. "Breathe. They're harmless. The two Johns are too into each other to notice anyone else, especially without a cock." They were handed champagne glasses with an orange garnish. From the smell and look of it, it wasn't champagne.

"It's an Angel Face." Jameson spoke up. He was a bit closer but not touching her. "Thought it was appropriate." He met her eyes and raised his glass. A dark amber liquid without ice.

"Be nice." Laura gave him a steel look. Emily watched them and felt another chill. She didn't want to be here. _Cook had been right_. She didn't want the drink but she couldn't see her way to refuse it without causing a problem. Laura moved and placed her other arm around Emily essentially blocking Jameson. "I didn't come here to have a pissing contest. My cock is..., rather are at home and most are all larger than yours. Be nice. No touching." He chuckled and moved a step back. She leaned over and kissed Emily. She kissed her back but she was obviously nervous. She looked in Laura's eyes. She wanted assurances. She wanted to ask. She brought her free hand to Laura's face.

Whispering in her ear, she tempted her fate. "Just you. Yes?"


	19. Chapter 19

your daily dose coming right up... that said.. while I had ch20 finished and will work on ch21 today, I am taking tomorrow off... so no posting... I need a meditation day and you can all analyze the evil... we do have a forum The Skins Fics Book Club where you can deposit your theories, comments, character hate...

thank you to marsupial who centers me and cheers me on even at my most wicked..

thank you to my lovely reviewers tigertrap, dammitnaomily, mynameislizzie2, Andy34 - love it...

thank you to all my beautiful readers... no one is just another reader btw

warning: if you've been along for the ride, you know where this story dwells...

* * *

Chapter 19

Cook made it into the house without running into anyone. He went into their bedroom and kept his head down. While he didn't think anyone was watching at the moment, but he didn't need to be seen looking blooded. He went right into the loo and stripped. His clothes were a total mess and he'd only put them on a little while ago. He'd considered going for a long walk and not coming back until dark but knew that wouldn't exactly mean he'd avoid everyone anyway.

He cleaned up again and then put something on the cut on his face. She'd hit him pretty good. He couldn't blame her. He'd baited her and she reacted. _You knew about her. You knew what she means to Emliy. You couldn't help being a dick._ He stood in front of the mirror wearing only a towel. He thought of Effy. He thought of Emily. _If she had said that about Effy, you'd have gone apeshit._ He gripped the bathroom counter. He was angry with himself. Not only had he let himself get talked into coming back but he'd let Emily walk out of the house without discussing what would happen. _Maybe I am shit at this. Maybe you're too close._

 _.._

 _They were at a weekend spa. Naomi had managed to finally take the time out of her schedule. She'd bristled when Laura mentioned she'd paid for everything already. They were in the middle of getting a couple's massage when something that had been nagging at Laura came up in her thoughts._

 _"Hey... where did you grow up again?"_

 _"Why?" Naomi was half asleep as her back was being poked and rubbed._

 _"Just curious... I mean we're having quality time here. I thought we could you know... talk..."_

 _"About where I grew up?"_

 _"Never mind. Forget I asked." Laura knew that would get her what she wanted to know. Naomi hated being told to never mind._

 _"Bristol. I grew up in Bristol."_

 _"That's right... your mum.. she had the commune thing going on."_

 _"That would be her yup." The masseuse was hitting a particularly tough spot and she groaned._

 _"That's where you met what's her name right?" Naomi was back to half listening as she knew Laura sometimes just needed to hear herself talk. She was enjoying the spa but couldn't understand how she was supposed to relax. "Ellen.. Helen... something.. She had a sister?"_

 _"Emily... she didn't have a sister... she had a twin." She had her eyes closed and was on the verge of falling asleep as she thought about chocolate eyes._

 _.._

"Naoms." Effy was touching her friend's shoulder. She'd fallen asleep on the drive to flat. "Naoms." She opened her eyes and stared. "We're here." She looked around.

"This isn't my building."

"No. It's mine."

"I want to go to mine." She cracked her neck. "You can stay here. I'll drive myself." She went to grab the keys and was denied.

"Umm.. no." Effy got out of the car and grabbed her bag from the backseat.

"Come on... I want to go home. Curl up with a bottle of something and pass out. I'm pretty much tapped."

"You're something alright but no. You're coming up, sitting on my couch with an ice pack and I'm keeping an eye on you. You're the medical professional but I'm thinking concussion." She went around to Naomi's side and helped her out of the car.

"I don't."

"Yup... headache, dizzy, lethargic." She got a look but the blonde stopped fussing. "Confused enough to accept my diagnosis. Yeah.. he definitely knocked your brain loose."

"He's a prick." The building was a nicer one but not fancy. Effy was thankful for the elevator today. Naomi was actually leaning more into her that she thought she would.

"Yes." The elevator was a quick ride. She unlocked her door and deposited Naomi on the couch.

She wondered if she shouldn't have her checked out but she doubted the blonde would go to the A&E willingly. She also didn't think there would be much they could do. She tried remembering how hard the hit was. It didn't seem bad. She was already putting on the tea kettle and grabbing the ice pack. "Hey, are you nauseous?"

"Nope." Naomi had curled up on the couch and was hugging a throw pillow. Effy came in and debated making her sit up. She decided she'd had enough of a shit day to lie there.

"Here." She put the ice pack on the back of her head after taking a look for blood. "There's a bump. Not too huge." Naomi grunted. "Can you please tell me if you get nauseous?"

"I love her."

"Yes."

"I don't want her to have a girlfriend."

"I know." Effy grabbed her laptop and sat on the ground near Naomi. She imagined a concussion to be like having a drunk Naomi. She promised herself to box Cook's ears in once they were all safe.

"She didn't tell me she had a girlfriend."

"Did you tell her about Brunhilda?" She plugged the drive in and started her search again. She added parameters, defined phrases and let the machine go. As the kettle whistled, she got up and went to the kitchen to pour the water for the tea. She came back with a cup for each of them. "I'll set this down here."

"Thank you." She stared off into nothing. "What Cook said..."

"Stop. He was pissed and jealous."

"Cause he's been fucking her."

"You've been fucking Laura."

"You're not very supportive." Naomi whined.

"I am when you have your head out of your arse. Who she's fucking or who she's fucked bears little importance to us. We need to keep our eyes on the bigger picture." The computer beeped. Effy sat again and started reading through the findings.

..

 _Naomi couldn't help herself. It's like her eyes were drawn to her whenever they were in the same place together. She couldn't understand how boys fawned over her sister when Emily was more appealing in every way. She always had a smile and took the time to talk to people. Even the relatively weird ones. She hated Karen who couldn't help but make lewd gestures or noises when she caught Naomi._

 _She was sitting by a tree outside taking in some sun when a shadow fell on her. She looked up and saw her favorite pair of eyes. "You're blocking my light." Emily laughed. "Granted if I sit up proper then I could still get sun... you're not tall enough to block it all out."_

 _"Hey." She was trying to be indignant but laughed instead. She took a seat on the opposite side of the tree. "Are you going to the party?"_

 _"I might... haven't decided if I can fit it into my social calendar." She was teasing her. There was something about not being able to see her that sent her heart into motion. It felt private. "You?"_

 _"Are you kidding? Katie's got a list a mile long of how many guys she's hooking up with... like I can say no to seeing that." She laughed. Naomi could hear the sarcasm. She knew it wasn't easy living in her twin's shadow._

 _"You're much too sweet to her."_

 _"She's my sister."_

 _"Is it bad that I'm happy I'm an only child?" Naomi had wondered what it would be like to have a sibling when she was 5. Then decided that it wasn't worth it._

 _"No. I don't know what it would be without Katie or James, but somedays it's nice to imagine having my own room."_

 _"Your own life."_

 _"I have my own life."_

 _"Hmm..."_

 _"I do. It's just boring in comparison."_

 _"I don't think you're boring at all." Naomi said it before she had a chance to think about it. "If you're going to this thing... least I could do is show up, maybe keep you company."_

 _.._

Emily had stayed close to Laura. Two of the men she'd been introduced to were off in a corner being overly affectionate. She couldn't remember which one was which. She supposed it didn't matter. Except for Jameson. She couldn't forget him as he hadn't gone far the entire time. He'd talked to a number of women and was _very_ friendly with a few. She was sure she was on her third drink. All bought by him. She couldn't remember eating today and was feeling the alcohol.

People had come up to Laura and made small talk. Apparently, this was a private party for people involved in one way or another with the fashion industry. Several worked for clothiers as buyers. Some worked in marketing. A few were designers. Some were models. It was a world she'd never thought she'd step into. Not that she'd wanted to. There was a lot of laughter and conversation but it didn't seem important. She could see why Laura fell in neatly with her sister. Katie would have killed at a party like this.

The jazz was still playing but there was also a bit of what someone explained as American blues. She decided she liked the sound of it. It was sultry. It felt like in entered her body and crawled into the deepest little caves inside her and stroked her gently. Before she realized it, Laura had gone off to talk with a couple of people and Emily was left by herself at the bar. Another drink presented itself in front of her. She turned and Jameson was standing there. She pushed the drink away but he pushed it back.

"Bad manners." He said with a curl of his lips.

"Who says I have any?" Emily bit back and felt her heart in her throat. She wasn't used to speaking to people so sharply. It made her smile. But he took it the wrong way. He moved closer to her. "She said no touching."

"She did. But she changes her mind." He was too close. He wasn't actually touching her but his proximity was unnerving as was the look in his eyes and his entire demeanor. "You've been with her how long?" Emily shrugged and looked around. She'd lost sight of Laura. "Hmm... Long enough to need her." She snapped her head back when she felt him whispering in her ear. When she turned, her lips grazed his. The surprise of it almost made her jump back, but his hand was immediately at her lower back pulling her forward. Their lips pressed together. She turned her head.

"No." She put her hands against his chest. He didn't let go or retreat but he was looking at her, studying her. He wasn't smiling. She didn't know if she preferred him this quiet.

"I said no touching." Laura was there suddenly. She was relieved for a second but the glare given to both made her want to shrink away. Jameson peeled his eyes off her and lazily looked at Laura. But he didn't let go of Emily.

"I heard you the first time. I didn't like the rule."

"Would you like to be castrated more so? Cause I can do that."

"Ooh... this is new." Jameson let go of Emily who had to hold on to the bar to keep her balance. He turned to face Laura. "You don't ever mind sharing."

"I do with her."

"Why?" He asked with a bit of a spark in his eye. It was intimidating.

"Not your concern." She replied and had every intention of getting Emily out of the situation. Jameson reached out and pulled Laura to him. They were pressed together. Emily watched. She was breathing a little harder and didn't know if it was fear or something else.

"I want it to be my concern." He rubbed Laura's back and she let him. Something slipped in her attitude. Emily wasn't sure at all what was happening. Laura should have put him in his place. Instead, she almost seemed submissive.

"We can't." She touched his face. "She's not mine... not really." Her voice wasn't demanding like it was with Emily. It was sending her head spinning.

"She's not yours. So I can take?"

"Jameson." Laura sighed and shook her head. "You can't take her. She prefers girls. She's..."

"Who does she belong to if not you?" Emily felt herself getting paler. They spoke about her as if she wasn't there, as if she wasn't a person. _This isn't new Emsy. This is not surprising. You knew what she was like before you came back. No, she isn't like Katie exactly. But you knew she wasn't warm._

"Her sister." Laura said it out loud to him. The look of shock on his face made Emily cringe. She went to walk away, not wanting any more of this. His other hand reached out and grabbed her arm. She yelped. Laura didn't look at her but her hand covered the one Jameson had grabbed the twin with. "Don't scare her." He didn't let her go but his grip lessened. "Emily... look at me." Emily shook her head. She was confused. Laura's hand moved up to her face, turning it. "He won't hurt you."

"You're lying." Emily said it and even as she felt buzzed on the alcohol, she knew what she could see in front of her. "I don't get it. What..."

"It's complicated." Laura said as if she didn't see the enormity of her acquiescence from Emily's point of view. She looked at Jameson. "Don't scare her. Don't hurt her." That she had to say it to him frightened the twin to no end.

"This is a different side of you." He was intrigued. He and Laura had known each other at least a decade and he'd never seen her protective. He'd seen her jealous. Angry. Bitter. Raving mad. But he'd never seen any kind of protective nature. He turned to Emily. "I'm going to let go but you're not to run off. Finish the drink in front of you. I need to speak with Laura privately."

"I never started." Emily whispered.

"What?" He asked.

"The drink. I need to start it to finish it." She was trembling inside.

"Rectify it then. We won't be far."

..

Cook had passed out naked on the bed. He didn't care about covering himself as Emily wasn't coming home that night.

"What the fuck happened to your face?" The loud voice woke him and he sat up reaching for his gun. It wasn't on the nightstand where he left it. "Someone's jumpy." He looked to see Luke standing there. Cook's gun was in his hand. He was emptying the clip. "Thinking of using this on someone in here?"

"No. Just... like you said... I was jumpy. We all carry guns." He made no move to cover himself. "What's up? Why are you here?"

"I own the house." Luke popped each bullet out and tossed them one by one on the bed. He cleared the chamber. He slipped the empty clip into his pocket and the gun into his waistband. "Why are you here Cook?"

"What ya mean?" Cook's stomach was clenched. Something was off and he didn't know what. The phrase bad idea was flashing in his head.

"We had a talk... you and me... a while back."

"We had many talks."

"True. But I'm talking the wee twin one."

"What about her? I've been fucking her like you said. I'm sure you're privy to it all. Been sharing her fucking bed unless you send her off to that cunt."

"There... that's it. That right there." Luke took a step forward pointing at Cook who steeled himself for a blow. "Your feelings for her."

"My feelings? Sorry. Not everyone is as fucking cold-blooded as you." He met Luke's eyes and expected rage. But there was something else there.

"You used to be more... ruthless."

"Was I?"

"When you started out with me..." Luke walked around the room, looking at it. There wasn't much in terms of sickly personal items but it felt warm. Cozy. "You used to beat men bloody with little reason."

"I still do."

"Eh... not as much. Only when you really have to." He was sizing him up.

"You got more men... we moved up in the world Luke. I don't need to be getting my knuckles dirty if we can have someone else do it." Cook was trying to be patient, trying to reign in his anger.

"Yeah but... it's different." Luke sat on the bed next to Cook. "You and me... we worked the streets, spilled blood and fucked women with abandon. Now..."

"Now you're sitting in a fancy house, talking to me while my cock is hanging out, and your girl has yours locked up in a safe." The blow to the back of his head was expected. "Fuck..."

"I like you cheeky but not insolent."

"I think you changed mate. I think you let 'er get to you. Yeah... we're in business... good business... but you're letting her whatever the fuck it is with her sister get to _you_." Cook was pushing him and he knew it. He might have also been talking about his own perspective. But for a brief moment, he didn't give a fuck. Luke thought about it.

"You might be right." He stood up, grabbing a bullet from the bed. He took the clip out of his pocket and loaded the bullet. Then he popped the clip into the pistol and chambered the round. "Maybe I'm a changed man wanting his better half to be at peace." He put the muzzle to Cook's temple. "But I'm still in charge. I think Emily may have taken off on her own but I don't think she stayed away on her own. And if I find out you helped her... because you're in... I don't know _love_... I will end you." He moved the muzzle to under Cook's chin and got close to him, bringing his face to his. "You need to stop coddling her. Share her bed but don't be kind. Don't be her **boyfriend**. I don't need _you_ to do that." He moved away and tossed the gun on the bed. "Get your head on straight Cook."

..

"Naoms! Fucking hell. Naoms wake up!" Effy was shaking her. She opened her eyes and felt like her head was going to explode.

"Fuck woman... if I did have a concussion shaking me isn't going to fucking help. Christ." She sat up slowly. "What the fuck..."

"We have a problem."

"Oh Jesus... Emily?" She was wide awake even with a throbbing headache. Surprisingly, the dizziness had faded.

"Yes and no." She sat next to her with the laptop now in hand. "Look." Naomi tried focusing but she saw nothing at first. It was a phone bill.

"Ok... phone calls... who's calling who?"

"Katie's phone."

"You have her phone records?" Naomi was trying to look closer at the screen. "I know that number. Why do I know that number?"

"That's the problem. Laura."

"What about her?" Naomi looked at Effy. "Wait..." She looked back at the screen. "Fucking... Katie called Laura?!"

"The calls go back and forth... for almost two years Naoms."

"They're what? Friends? You're saying Laura, my demented recent ex Laura is fucking friends with Katie?" She felt nauseous now but she didn't think it was her head causing it.

"I think in some ways... yes." Effy took a moment. "But it's more than that. I found Laura's name... on some property papers. Laura Hayward right?" Naomi nodded. "I think she's in business with them Naoms." She paused remembering she hadn't mentioned Cook's revelation regarding Emily's girlfriend. She decided to hold off a bit longer on mentioning that. If she was right and she was the same Laura, Naomi wouldn't be stopped. She'd go over to her flat right now.

..

Emily could see them from where she was. It didn't make her feel any better. She'd downed the drink and then ordered another. She was trying to soothe her nerves. _No you're not. You're trying to disconnect. Same thing._ She looked over and neither Laura nor Jameson was looking her way. She felt the urge to run away. She wished she had a mobile. She wanted to call Naomi. _You don't know her number. You left without asking for it. You left without saying goodbye._ She closed her eyes. She wanted to be back there in that house. Even in the hospital. She would have preferred that than here.

"How does a sister give..." Jameson looked at Laura. "You didn't hesitate, did you? You didn't ask or stop it from happening." She stared at him. How could she explain it? How could she explain the fascination? And then the connection.

"Why would I?"

"Why... she's human. She's..."

"She's perfectly submissive." She said it like it would explain everything.

"That doesn't make it..."

"Oh please, Jameson. Don't. Don't presume to tell me what's right and wrong here. You of all people."

"Me of all people?" He was frowning. He knew what she was getting at. Their youth together. Their indiscretions. They'd created each other. "What we did... we chose."

"Did we? Every time?" He rubbed the back of his head.

"We were stupid and younger and..."

"Use all the adjectives you want. It doesn't change what was or … what is. I don't recall asking your permission. Or your _blessing_." She hadn't asked for them but she wanted them. She wanted someone else to be a witness to the power she had. "You wanted her. The moment you set eyes on her, you wanted her." He couldn't deny it. "Tell me you still don't." He laughed.

"I thought you said no touching, no sharing." Could he do this? It was a question that was on repeat but the volume was being turned down. "I don't know Laura. I don't know if I can unless she..."

"You want her to say yes."

"I'd prefer that yes." He leaned in. "I wanted _you_. That's why I called. I wanted to play. You brought her... and I love it... She's... you're right.. she's perfect... but I need her to be on board for anything to..." Laura smiled and nodded.

"Done."


	20. Chapter 20

**Is everyone ready? Are you sure? Are we buckled in?**

Ok first... thank you thank you thank you to all the readers... while not everyone reviews, I can see the stats showing how often this story (and my others) are read. It's positively amazeballs.

Huge shoutout to marsupial - babes.. you let my twisted come out and play and cheer me on always. I appreciate and love you.

Thank you to my lovely reviewers - dammitnaomily, tigertrap, lbea04 and mynameisnotlizzie2 - your continued angst is coming to an end...

So I said I would post a new chapter today... but actually it will be three (one now, two this afternoon)... Ch20 and Chapters 21A and 21B... I will not be writing a/n for the latter two...so

warning: ****very dark... very wrong... do not read if subject matters presented within the span of this story offend or trigger you... (granted if you're still reading it means you aren't easily offended or triggered by fiction...) This warning applies to ch20, 21A and 21B****

That said... valium intake should lessen A LOT after ch21b...

Disclaimer: I own my thoughts... and my original characters... everything else not mine.

* * *

Chapter 20

It was late when Effy and Naomi headed out to her place. They had texted Cook rather cryptically, hoping he would reply. He hadn't as of yet. Having the name of someone Luke and Katie were in business with that they had a connection to might be enough for him and his handler, Effy knew it wasn't but she wasn't about to pop Naomi's bubble. The blonde wanted answers from Laura and had been phoning her but she wasn't answering either. She needed to keep her occupied unless she wanted her going rogue and heading to Laura's place directly.

"What... fucking bitch." They walked into her flat to find the destruction left behind by her ex. She surveyed the chaos. She couldn't walk a foot without glass crunching underneath. She groaned as she saw the state of the kitchen. Effy headed for the bedroom, turning right around when she looked.

"I think it's best if maybe I don't know... we set the place on fire?"

"FUCK!" Naomi leaned against a wall. She didn't have much. She wasn't materialistic. She could thank her mum for that. But what she had had been hers. Effy walked around and began picking up photographs sitting in glass-less frames.

"Let's get some of your clothes... we can head back to mine. You can stay there as long as you need to. We can call... well should call the cops."

"For what?" Her headache was back in full force. She shouldn't have left her ex here. They should have gone back to hers that night. _She had a key. What difference would it have made?_ She groaned. "Hey. You know any locksmiths?"

..

Cook was walking the perimeter of the garden. He hadn't been able to go back to sleep after Luke's visit. He wasn't afraid of him. Not if he was by himself. He was afraid when Emily returned. He knew what his boss wanted. He wasn't dumb. He could read between the lines. _Ruthless. Don't be kind. Don't coddle her._ He lit another cigarette and kept walking. His phone buzzed again. He'd glanced at the messages when they came in but he had fuck all want to talk to either Effy or her friend.

 _You failed her. I didn't fail Effy. Not her. Emily. I did what I had to. You can hide behind that all you want but there are things you could have done._ He sat on a bench towards the rear. His body heavy. _You liked having her around. You liked her. You still do. Don't. I don't. You do. You've been nice to her the entire time. She's Katie's sister. I had to be nice. No. You didn't. How many blokes have come and gone? I don't know. I fed them. I took care of them. No. You didn't. They were expendable fodder. With her... it was like someone had handed you a personal mission. Luke would have let the boys at her. All of them. But you told him it wouldn't be right. You got him to think about how they would look at Katie if they could fuck her mirror image. You knew what to say to him to protect her._ "What the fuck was I'sposed to do? Let the wolves tear her apart?"

No one answered him. Not that he'd expected an answer. He was too far gone to count on holy intervention and divination to intercede. It took a while and the rest of the cigarette for his internal dialogue to continue. _You like her. You didn't want to fuck her but you liked doing it. That's part of what has you so twisted up. He wasn't wrong. There is a piece of you that don't ever want her to leave._

"Out for a midnight stroll?" The voice surprised him. He looked up to find Finnegan standing by.

"What's it to you?"

"Someone's got their knickers in a bunch." Finnegan was smoking his own cigarette and took drags in between thoughts. "Tough to sleep without your bird. I get that."

"What do you _get_?"

"It's just... I'd have a hard time too letting her out of my sight. I mean... You've had her a while now but still..." Cook was on his feet. By the time he was done, he wasn't sure Finnegan was breathing. He also didn't care.

..

Emily woke up with a massive headache. She was sprawled out on Laura's bed. She tried raising her head but it felt full of lead. She turned it instead. Waking up with Laura was different than waking up with Cook. She was never one to hold Emily after they were through. She could play with her hair, rub her back. But when it came to actual sleep, she was on her own. Sometimes she woke up in the spare room by herself. She didn't mind. Today was different. When she turned her head, Laura wasn't in bed. Her heart stopped. He was facing away from her so she could only guess who it was but it was unsettling, terrifying.

She wanted to speak, to scream. She was naked under the sheet. It wouldn't have been foreign to sleep that way. But she couldn't remember being in bed with _him_. It took a few moments to lift the sheet and see that he wasn't wearing clothing. She began to panic. Not wanting to wake him, she moved slowly and crawled out of bed. She didn't see her clothes and was hesitant to walk around naked. Laura's robe was hanging behind the bedroom door and she grabbed it. She hurried out of the room and searched the flat. Nothing. No Laura. The panic set in and she rushed to the loo.

..

"You need to do something about him." Katie was speaking as she spread the jam on her toast. "He beat the shit out of Finnegan. We're lucky he's not dead." Luke shrugged as he drank his coffee. He was actually reading the paper. He felt like a married couple and wondered again if she might be up for doing things officially. "Are you listeting?"

"Yes." He put the paper down and stole a piece of toast from her plate. She went to slap his hand but was too slow. He laughed as he ate it. "He did what I wanted him to do."

"You wanted him to beat the shit out of him? I like Finnegan. He's... obedient."

"Finnegan is nice enough. And no I didn't want _his_ arse kicked or his teeth knocked out. But I wanted to push Cook. Looks like I did."

"Push him into what exactly?" She put jam on the other piece of toast and kept it away from Luke.

"He's gone soft. Since he's been with Emily." He recalled what Cook had said to him about changing because of Katie. "He's too nice to her. Too eager to... I don't know... play house." He took another sip of coffee. "I don't think she left on her own."

"We looked at the footage. She walked out with that other guard... shit.. he has the weird looking mustache... I forgot his name."

"It doesn't matter. He's gone. But..." He hadn't shared this with Katie for fear she would strangle someone, including him. "I think... I think he's fallen for her. And I think that maybe he _wanted_ her to get pregnant." She put her toast down. "I don't know... maybe he thought if she had _his_ kid it would change things? I'm not sure. Not entirely. But I think he'd do about anything for her. And that bothers me. A lot."

"He's supposed to do what you tell him. He's _not_ supposed to protect her. Or fall for her or... Jesus!" She was up and out of her chair. He caught her before she stormed out of the dining room and up the stairs. He wrapped his arms around her.

"Ok... down girl." She pushed against him. "Please don't make me kill him right now."

"Fucking twat needs to be put down if he thinks..."

"I don't know what he thinks babes. I was speaking to you... conjecture and all that. It's all a feeling. Nothing more." She was still raging. He gave a laugh, "You keep moving like that I'm liable to take you on this table. Breakfast be damned." Katie stopped moving and started laughing.

"You're such a pervy bastard you know that?" She turned around in his arms.

"I thought it was one of my endearing qualities." He kissed her deeply. Her hand moved to his crotch. He groaned. She bit into his lip, chuckling. Her hand gripping him.

"I think you owe me a good fuck Mr. Martin." He smiled. "Getting me all worked up... shameful if you don't."

"Well, I do tend to strive for shameless." He pushed the plates aside and turned her away from him. She lifted her skirt and lowered her knickers as he unbuckled his trousers and unzipped himself.

..

Emily was in the shower under the hard spray. She'd turned the temperature as hot as it could get. Her skin red. She'd scrubbed her body twice. It wasn't as if she could feel him on her but she felt awful all the same. She couldn't remember being in bed with him. Did she black out? As she scrubbed, she had thought about the last things she remembered. At the bar, Laura and Jameson had walked over. Except Jameson had been stopped by two women. She remembered the lips on her cheek. Her voice in her ear. "He's coming back with us." She shivered. " _Behave_ and I will keep all your secrets Emily."

Even with the heat of the shower spray, she shivered as memories came back. They had arrived back at the flat. She remembered Laura putting on music as Jameson poured drinks. It took maybe another two to get her to the point where things were hazy. She saw images of kissing Laura, being groped by her. Every new flash of memory showing more skin, fewer clothes for all involved. She couldn't remember what he felt like. She could see him, always near but not near enough. Laura had her in front of him. She remembered the feeling of it, being exposed. She heard the unmistakable sound of the toilet flushing. She turned off the shower and stayed quiet. The sink faucet came on and she heard someone wash their hands. After it was done, she waited.

"I know you're in the shower. You can come out." His voice made her shake. She snaked out a hand from behind the frosted glass shower door and grabbed the towel. She wrapped herself up before stepping out. Jameson stood there naked, his arms crossed. The smile on his face unnerving. "Shy this morning?"

"Where's Laura?" It was the only thing she could manage. He stepped forward and she stepped back until she was flush with the wall. He tilted his head, smiled and move to her. She hadn't wanted to look down. But she couldn't, didn't want to, meet his eyes. She could feel her heart pounding.

"She had to meet someone about her business." He still wasn't touching her or pressed against her but she could feel the heat radiating from him. "Said I could stay as long as I wanted. That you would take good care of me."

"I..." She could feel herself wanting to run. But the last actual words she could remember from Laura was to behave. Emily nodded and closed her eyes. She felt the movement and then his fingers under her chin.

"Can you make coffee while I take a shower?" Her eyes popped open at his words. His face was close to hers. He was smiling. She was still nervous, should be even more so at how close he was.

"Ok." His fingers moved and were caressing her face. "Is that... Is that all you want?" He laughed.

"If I asked you to drop the towel, would you?" She bit her lip. _Behave. I'll keep all your secrets_. She nodded. "Hmm... if I asked you to get in the shower with me, would you?" Again, she nodded. He shook his head. "Make us coffee. Get dressed. Wait for me in the kitchen."

..

Effy had woken up early and made a few calls. Naomi jumped in the shower. She wanted to skip work. She didn't know if her mind would be on it. The brunette was convinced that maybe it would be a good distraction. When she headed out, Effy was already busy with her laptop and her desktop. She'd set up appointments to change Naomi's locks, get the place scoured and the mattresses to be disposed of. She knew that the bed was a large expense for her friend. It wasn't for her though. She'd been making money and invested a fair amount of it. Working in the tech industry had its perks. As did being single and fairly low maintenance.

She would need to sit Naomi down when she got off her work shift though. She'd done search after search. Cross-checked and it all came down to one thing. There was only one Laura. She'd had a timeline of the phone calls and the money trail. It was a little over 22 months. She tried plotting it out and knew that there had been no contact between Katie and Laura, at least nothing traceable, previous to that. Naomi was already seeing Laura when she started seeing Emily.

Her blood was boiling and she couldn't let it. She needed to keep her head because she had a feeling both Cook and Naomi were going to lose theirs. She tried him again but got voicemail. She took a breath. "Prick call me back. I need to know you're ok... please." She hung up and wished she could feel what he did.

 _They had spent the better part of the weekend naked in her bed. She hadn't seen him in months. He looked rougher around the edges but sharper in his eyes. It was captivating. He'd called her out of the blue and said he could get away, asked if she was up for that drink they never quite had. Mostly because the moment they got to his place and he proved he was telling the truth about it all, they ended up naked. This time wasn't much different. She couldn't explain what it was about him. Effy knew she was attractive. It wasn't for want of attention. She had had many lovers in her time so far but rarely were they repeats. At best they lasted a week. She had a soft spot for him. For her, this was her longest relationship and it wasn't even that. But it was as close as she could get. She blamed her parents for the lack of role models in healthy relationships._

 _Cook was painting her toenails. She'd mentioned wanting to get a pedicure but not having the time with school, her internship and such. He got this look in his eye and asked where she kept the polish. The next thing she knew he was literally giving her a foot rub and had grabbed a couple of different colors. She watched his concentration level. It was endearing. He was such a walking contradiction._

Effy realized what time it already was when her stomach growled. She stretched in her chair then stood and stretched. She had been on autopilot. She went into the kitchen and made herself a sandwich and a cup of tea. She walked back to her computer. Somewhere along her morning, she'd been tacking up names and such on the wall. As she looked at it, she smiled wide. It was all there. Yes, they would need more details but they likely needed a warrant to search premises and such. Cook had a lot of threads in those files. But he didn't know how to read them or piece them together. With renewed energy, she sat down to compose an email to his handler. She'd outline what she'd found and he could follow up in an official capacity.

..

Naomi was groggy but not overly so. She'd had her partner check her out, then a nurse at hospital when they dropped off a patient. They agreed that a slight concussion was a possibility but given her current state she seemed none too worse for the wear. She knew the drill. It's not like anything could really be done unless she was exhibiting distressing signs pointing to a deeper issue. Her partner had joked he always knew she had a hard head. She flipped him off. While there was a part of her dipping into what had recently happened, she was staying afloat, keeping her focus on her work. She hated that Effy was right almost every time about everything.

..

Emily was nervously sitting in the kitchen. She'd gone to the bedroom and dressed as instructed but it left her feeling open. Laura made it a point of hanging up outfits by days of the week. They would be in the wardrobe waiting for her. Most of the time it made little difference as she wouldn't be expected to dress when they were alone in the flat. Today she'd have given anything for something different. The oversized shirt barely went mid thigh when she was standing. It barely covered her bum when sitting. She had thought to hit Laura's computer while he was in the shower but her nerves were too much. She hadn't planned on him existing, let alone be left with him.

She'd made coffee and had a cup for herself in front of her. She'd wanted to pour his but didn't know what he took in it. He walked into the kitchen wearing a polo and jeans. Her eyes widened as it wasn't something he wore last night. He found the empty cup she'd set out and poured himself a cup. "I didn't know how you took it."

"Ahh... black... like my soul." He replied while looking at her with a smile. He then laughed. "Cream and a bit of sugar actually." He walked to the icebox and thanked his stars when he saw cream. "Does she not keep any food in this place?" He prepared his coffee and licked the spoon after stirring it.

"She sends for groceries if I'm spending time here. She didn't have a chance to do that yesterday... we went directly to..." He nodded. He was drinking his coffee and staring at her. She was already squirming and she hated it. He gave another slight nod. _Wait for me in the kitchen._ His earlier words were giving her chills.

"Got it. I'll see about getting something delivered then as soon as I find my phone."

"You don't have to... I'm sure she'll be back before long." She looked up and saw him staring again. She swallowed. "Where... where did you get the clothes?" He chuckled.

"I have clothes in that one closet that's always locked." He sipped his coffee. "Quite the outfit you chose."

"I didn't." She felt her cheeks redden and played with the hem of the shirt.

"Ahh... if I were to guess... she labels everything." Emily looked up. "Yeah... she's... something."

"Why do you have clothes here?" She knew nothing about him, hadn't been aware he existed. But he was important enough to have personal items here, in Laura's flat, in a locked closet no less. Away from prying eyes. "Are you and..."

"Yes." He took the stool next to hers and sat facing her. "Have been for years." He reached out and pushed the wet hair away from her face. She gave the slightest of flinches. _Behave. I'll keep all your secrets._ "It's not often I stay. But I like being comfortable when I do. Are _you_ comfortable?" The question was odd to her. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to let it all roll off her back. But the entire thing was upsetting. _Long enough to know you need her._ His words carried such precision. He stood up and left her sitting there. She was both relieved and on edge. She hadn't answered him and thought she'd disappointed him. Would Laura be upset? _This was a bad idea Ems. Such a fucking stupid idea. Shit shit shit._ He reappeared in the kitchen with a pair of pajama bottoms. "These will be too long but put them on." He handed them over and she took them. "Go on."

Emily stood up and slid the bottoms on and felt oddly safer. She took a seat again. "Thank you."

..

Naomi had gotten the text message just before lunch and groaned. She didn't want to answer it, didn't want to deal with it. _Cut your losses. Walk away. She's insane. You cheated on her. She knows it._ She sighed and replied. Within moments, she received her own reply. She had thought of reaching out to Effy, asking how everything was going but then she'd have to tell her about Laura and the messages. She wasn't ready to deal with her friend's reaction to her own lunacy and need to right certain things.

Shaughnessy and she stopped for lunch at a cafe. He was oblivious to Naomi's mood as her tension skyrocketed. She'd told him what to get her and tossed him some money. Laura was waiting for her at a table. She walked over to her. There was a smile on her face and Naomi didn't know what to make of it. _Yeah, you do... she's crazy. That's why she's smiling_. She sighed and pulled the chair opposite her out. She sat down.

"You look awful." Laura spoke and there was a bit of almost glee in her tone. Naomi thought she was perhaps imagining it. That maybe the knock about the head was still making her a bit off. "Oh... dear... it's entirely my fault. I am so so sorry. I was... rash. Impulsive."

"Rash and impulsive? Laura... my bloody bed looks like... like.."

"A literal bloody bed? Yeah... I thought about the white wine but it didn't have the same pizzazz. But I am terribly sorry. Don't suppose you'd accept my apology with an explanation?" Naomi rubbed the back of her neck.

"Apology and an explanation.. yeah that's me all forgiving." She shook her head.

"Naomi... I was jealous. You know how I feel when you mention her. You get that look and it's like losing you every time. Now that she's popped up somewhere, somehow... I knew you were lost and I hated that notion." She was touching her tea. She was oddly giddy and it was getting annoying.

"What the fuck is up with you? The amount of damage... the so-called jealousy and yet you seem like you're..."

"Happy? Of course, I'm happy. We're here. We're talking and you aren't with _her_. Why shouldn't I be happy?"

"Yeah... about that... I came to tell you that..."

"Before I forget I should pay for the damages." She stared at Laura who was looking smug. There was an air of something Naomi couldn't pinpoint. "I've my checkbook..." She started rummaging through her bag.

"Stop!" People turned their heads at her voice. Laura giggled. Shaughnessy even gave her a look. She was in her uniform and knew it was unprofessional. "You need to... stop whatever it is that you're trying to do... stop being this happy... I don't know what you think I agreed to by coming here but it's not... it's not about us being happy." It was the first time Laura stopped smiling. "I wanted to do this in person... you're right. We have to be done."

"I was jealous Naomi. I know I don't have to be. We don't have to be over."

"I slept with her."

"You... I thought you hadn't... I thought.. isn't that why you... wait..." Laura was confused. "You... you and she.." She was nervous now.

"Campbell. We gotta roll. Call came in." Shaughnessy was holding their lunch in a sack and was standing by her.

"Right." She stood as Laura stared at her. "Forget the damages. Good bye."


	21. Chapter 21A

Chapter 21A

"Wait... we.. we didn't...?" Emily was on her second cup of coffee which he'd poured for her. Jameson had found his phone and sent for groceries as he'd mentioned. He was making them sandwiches. He shook his head.

"No. We didn't." He placed a sandwich in front of her and set one out for himself. He poured a couple of glasses of orange juice and took his stool again. She was looking at him waiting for the joke.

"We were in bed... naked..."

"I didn't think you'd fancy finding yourself on the couch... and I was too tired to try and dress you at that hour." He took a bite of his meal. He looked so at ease.

"I'm confused."

"That is a certainty." He was teasing and wiping at his mouth. "Eat. I promise we can talk about it all... but I need food. Otherwise, I'm going to be an utter prick."

..

Cook was dressed and heading out the door when he heard his name. He turned and faced Luke. "Yes?"

"Someone has a spring in his step." He laughed at the sight of him. Cook couldn't be angrier if he tried.

"Yeah well... guess I missed breaking someone's jaw for the hell of it." Luke laughed. Cook imagined stomping on him.

"Hmm... seems that way... head over to the south end warehouse." He was smiling but all business. "Take over the shipment and make sure we're paid." Cook turned away and stopped again. "Make sure you keep that anger close by. I've missed it Cookie."

..

Effy had sent the email and was finishing up some notes when she received a reply. The handler wanted to meet her in the park near her place. She smiled, feeling like she had done something brilliant and would see her friends out of danger before long. When she got to the park, he was already waiting on a bench. She sat down next to him. He had two coffees in hand.

"Thinking black." Handed it to her. She accepted with a nod. "You do good work."

"Tell me something I'm not aware of." She smiled and kept her eyes on him. There was something making her sixth sense tingle. "You can make something of what I sent? Enough to call everything off and maybe arrest someone?" The man faced forward and took a drink from his coffee.

"Make something? Yes. Arrest? Not likely."

"Why not?" She knew they would need to do more for an arrest but it didn't stop her from asking, for pushing him to answer. "I gave you several possibilities for money laundering sites. Established businesses that aren't going to disappear overnight. I provided solid connections..." He held up a hand.

"Ms. Stonem. Your work is exemplary. It's logical and well laid out. So well that our Crown prosecutor for this particular investigation... well... he's drafting plea agreements for anyone willing to provide information on bigger players." She didn't explode. But she shook in equal parts anger and equal parts fear.

"Inspector..."

"Just Harry please."

"Inspector..." She continued. "Perhaps I didn't explain in my email... There's a girl... a young woman..."

"Emily Fitch." The way he said her name stunned her. It wasn't a surprise to him. He seemed ethereally calm.

"Yes."

"I know all about her."

"Then why haven't you done anything?" She yelled then. He drank from his cup and took his time in answering. So much so that Effy considered throwing her coffee in his face.

"Because she was deemed collateral damage by my superiors given what was at stake." He wouldn't look at her. Effy felt the world tilting. She wasn't in the habit of fainting or being a fragile thing, and she wasn't about to start, but the idea that someone was seen as collateral damage instead of someone needing help was making her a bit dizzy. "I know what you're feeling."

"Do you? Do you really?" She threw the cup to the ground and stood. "That woman... Emily... has been used like a fucking pawn by her sister... her fucked up boyfriend... for years. Years! And you're saying there's nothing you are willing to do for her because she's not big enough to matter?! You fucking piece of..."

"Cook." He was looking at her now. He wasn't surprised by her outburst, by her anger. He'd had it once a lifetime ago. He let the name linger in the air and took another sip of coffee. "I know how familiar you are with him. The personal angle."

"None of your bus..."

"No, it isn't. But he's involved."

"What? Of course, he's involved... he's bloody working for you.."

"Yes. He is. But he's taken a few... corners and it's going to cost him,"

"What do you mean?" Her mind was racing and she knew what was coming. He'd slept with Emily and they knew. _Idiot_. "I'm sure it was all under duress... in efforts of keeping his..."

"I was to pull him out two years ago."

..

They had finished their sandwiches in almost silence. Emily was still trying to process everything while Jameson seemed content in just being. She hadn't noticed how hungry she was until she started eating. Her stomach grumbling in overdue protest. She stood and took the empty plates to the sink. She stood there watching him as he looked through his phone. "Please tell me." He looked up and smiled.

"I did say I would." He finished his juice. "We didn't have sex. As I said, I carried you into bed well after you'd fallen asleep on the couch and Laura had passed out." He didn't look away or appear at all put off that she wanted answers.

"I remember... we came back here. I know Laura... we kissed... and..." She blushed and he nodded.

"She put on quite the show yes." Emily looked at her feet. She knew that he had seen more than enough of her last night. She didn't remember all of the particulars but from the glimpses she remembered in the shower, he'd gotten a ringside view. "She was keen on me... joining in."

"But you didn't?" She was looking at him again even if her face felt like it was on fire. Her memory flashed to his eyes. He had been watching them intently. There was a small burning in her belly as she recalled how he watched. There was hunger in his eyes but there was sadness.

"No. I did not." He was taking her demeanor in and knew he was a shit for even having watched it. "You're... exquisite. And I'm slightly shamed by having watched but I'm... well, me. I'm not a good person. My morals have been questionable on more than one occasion." He didn't think it prudent to tell her about his life, or Laura's. "But you're not here of your own free will." She swallowed. "I don't fancy rape."

"It's not..." She didn't get much further as he held up a hand.

"Emily... Can you honestly tell me you can walk out of here? Go home? Without facing any repercussions? From anyone?" She couldn't answer him and it made her ache. He was a stranger. She'd never talked about her life with a total stranger. "You may not want to hear that term... you may not even see it as such because of what you've been... molded to do... but it's not right." He stood up and stepped closer. "It's not right to be..."

The door to the flat burst open. "Emily! Where the fuck are you, you little bitch!" Laura rounded the corner as Jameson turned to the sound of her. "Jameson? Why are you still fucking here?"

..

Cook was sitting against a set of metal stairs. The trucks had been unloaded, product repacked and distributed. Street dealers and other parties had come in to exchange money for goods as per. All had gone swimmingly with the exception of one group. They were second-rate amateurs out of the north end. They had been rising in numbers but weren't turning a profit. Not to Luke. Wheaton explained it to Cook who hadn't been around the last few meetings. Luke had been paying attention and giving them enough leeway to either fix it themselves or hang themselves. They had chosen the latter.

He looked at his knuckles and the cuffs of his shirt. It was the one downside of dressing in suits. The dress shirt was always ruined no matter what. He'd done a shit job of washing off the blood. No one had stopped him. No one had even blinked when he took control of the situation. The group's leader had balked at the amount they needed to cough up to get the drugs. He said he had an arrangement with Luke. Cook let Wheaton talk the first few minutes when he could see the other guy was laughing. He stood up and walked over to him. He cracked him across the nose without saying a word. He kept hitting him until you could barely notice the shape of his normal face. It had turned into a swollen pile of flesh, drooling blood. He looked at the guy been standing behind him and pointed.

The guy shook his head and said they hadn't brought money. The guy on the ground had told him that he could get whatever they needed and no one would deny them. There were two other men standing behind him nodding and looking like they wanted to be anywhere but there. Cook asked Wheaton how much they owed. After taking their wallets and identification, he told them they had two days to come back with the cash. They weren't allowed to take the guy on the floor when they left. He was still lying there groaning as Cook looked on.

..

"No... he was... they were moving to London then.. or had recently moved here... why would you pull him out then?" She had taken a seat next to the inspector again. She no longer trusted herself to stand. Her mind was running through scenarios and none was feeling right.

"He was to come out before they'd left Bristol. He'd acquired enough information and we felt we had a better chance at inserting newer blood into the investigation. He argued against it. He said he had Luke's trust and that it had taken years to get there. He kept talking about them not trusting anyone new. He made a decent case of it... being kept in the field. I almost wanted to let him stay. But he let slip about Emily. His need to... be there for her." He looked at the cup in his hands. "I argued for him to be pulled immediately."

"But you didn't... he didn't..."

"I was overruled by someone with a bigger dick than mine."

"But he's _still_ working for you though...?"

"Yes."

"So... I'm sorry... I don't..." Her mind was either moving too fast or too slow and it was giving her a hangover kind of feeling.

"He's done things outside the spectrum of his investigation that warrant an internal review and possible disciplinary action at the least. Criminal prosecution at the most."

"Crimin... he wouldn't. If he and she got involved, it wasn't criminal. He wouldn't do that."

"No. I don't know that he would, but I also don't know him anymore. And it isn't so much criminal to fuck someone as it is to murder someone."

..

Laura had only momentarily stopped advancing when she saw him there. "Why haven't you fucked off yet?" She was seething. She'd come into the flat to make Emily pay for Naomi's dismissal. It was her fault.

"So loving." He had stepped in front of Emily casually. "I believe you told me I could stay as long as I'd like.. that Emily would take good care of me. I'm positive you said that." She kept her eyes on him. She didn't want him right now. Normally she'd have been thrilled to have him with her. _He never stays._ She wanted to get a hold of Emily. _She needs to be punished. She needs to suffer. This... this is her doing._

"I... yes I did.. but you never stay..." He shrugged his shoulders.

"The company was to my liking." He knew she was incensed about something and couldn't help but poke at her. The spark in her eyes was dark. He hated that he liked seeing it, craved it. "Speaking of company, why are you ranting and raving? I thought I saw to you last night."

She narrowed her eyes at him and took a few more steps towards them. She couldn't get a clear look at Emily because he was in her way. She knew the girl was likely terrified by now. _She needs to be dealt with. Naomi can't want her over me._ "I need to speak with Emily. We need some girl time. Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"No." He crossed his arms and made it evident that he wasn't moving.

"No?" She practically yelled it. Her composure slipping, what little there had been since she walked in.

"I think I'm staying a while. If that's ok with you Emily?" He half turned his head to look at her. She was pale and breathing a little harder than he thought she should be. Jameson knew what she was afraid of. He could see that Laura had likely hurt her before. "No matter. I'm staying. That's that." Laura wanted to claw his eyes out. _He's choosing her. He's choosing her too!_ Then she noticed Emily wasn't wearing exactly what she'd left for her.

"What are you wearing?"

..

Effy had managed to finish the conversation with the inspector without vomiting and without fainting. She congratulated herself as she was letting herself into her flat. She felt like she'd aged years in a solitary afternoon. The last few days had been wearisome but what she'd learned of Cook was more than she could adequately comprehend. She never claimed to believe anyone was pure good or pure evil. She'd always been aware of the grayness in the world. Those places were things done out of need, out of survival, existed. She understood that. But he was facing a mountain of trouble and she didn't know what to make of it.

His laughter, his smile. It filled her mind. His goofy lopsided grin when he was feeling devilish. He'd never stopped being himself with her. Some men put on airs, a persona that they thought she would find more appealing. Some would look at her like the sun rose and set on her. It wasn't that he never looked at her like that but when he did, he would blush and do something dumb to make her laugh. God how he loved to make her laugh.

She stopped in her tracks, bag halfway off her shoulder as Cook stood in her flat with his back to her. He was staring at the things she'd tacked up on the wall. He didn't move. She didn't say anything. She took her bag completely off and put it on the couch. She approached him slowly. "Cook..."

"You're a smart one princess. Always knew that but... this." He shook his head. "This was all in'ere?"

"Not all but most of it." She got closer even as she saw the blood on his shirt sleeves. "Cookie... are you hurt?" He gave another shake of his head. "Who got hurt?"

"Just some guys..." He looked exhausted but there was something under it all.

"Have you heard from Emily?" Effy didn't know what to do. She wanted to yell, shake him, embrace him.

"Naw... she won't surface for at least 'nother day." He finally looked at her. "What'sa matter?"

"Why would something be the matter?" She took a deep breath and realized he saw more of her than others did. He had his own way of looking at her and she smiled. "I talked to Harry." He turned and looked back at the wall.

"And?"

"Cook... he told me." He chuckled.

"Ahh...yeah... he would." He let out a sigh. "He tell you he hung Emily out to dry?" Effy took hold of his elbow and pulled him to the couch. He took a seat and stared at his hands. "I thought... I thought I could save her... do something for 'er. But two years ago.. wants to take me out o'it. Says I'm done and need to switch gears. So I tell him. I tell him she's got to be pulled out too. He doesn't say nothin'. Then... a month... a fuckin month goes by. I'm waiting for any day to be given a heads up. He finally makes contact... and 'e says she's not worth anything." She sat next to him, legs tucked under her. "She's not even so much as a bargaining chip to them."

"You didn't leave her behind." Effy understood his intent. He shook his head.

"I couldn't. I couldn't walk away. Not from her. She deserved better. Bastards were willing to brush her life aside for everything else they could get. So I talked to the people above and they let me stay on... but it wasn't the same with Harry." She took in his words. Did she trust him? Or did she trust his handler?

"He mentioned you've killed people Cook." He nodded.

"I been tryin to stay clear of the bigger shit Luke gets into... but it's not like I can pick and choose." He leaned back into the couch. "Fights. Bustin' heads. I can do all of that. But a couple o'times." Cook closed his eyes. "I pulled the trigger." She sighed and cursed under her breath. "They weren't good people Effs. I swear. They was just as bad as Luke... But it's still..." She put her fingers to his lips. She stared into his eyes and kissed him. It was gentle. His heart ached. They kissed a couple of more times, slow, soft. Chaste. She broke the kiss and put her forehead against his.

"How much does Harry know?"

"What'd you mean? He knows what I've said, what I've told him... my reports."

"Does he have proof? In your reports... does he have proof that you committed a crime?" She never read anything detailing him killing someone.

"What?"

"Cook... you could be in a world of hurt. I don't know what the rules are for being undercover... But I don't think you'd get off without facing something for what you did." He looked at her. "I'm not going to ask a lot of questions... ok? But I want you to think about things... what you've done... what proof there is or might be. I need you to write it down on a piece of paper."

"Eff what..."

"Shut up. Just... shut up!" Her mind was working overtime. She took his face in her hands. "Write it down! Fold it in half and put it on the desk. I need you to do that for me." She needed something, some thread to pull at and grab on to. She could help him, help him get out of it all. But she needed that thread. "Then you need to make a choice."

"A choice?" He was confused.

"Choose to stay _here_." He was going to object. She shook her head. "You're going to get cleaned up and you're going to stay here. Get out of those clothes, get into the shower."

"You said choice... what's the flip side?"

"You walk out of here and _never_ come back." She hated saying it, hated knowing it would need to happen for her to be ok. If he couldn't stay here, he needed to be out of her life. Otherwise, she would break if something happened to him.

"Not much of a choice. But Ems..."

"I'll get Ems out of trouble. I know where she is."

..

"You gave her your pajamas?" Laura almost struck him.

"Just the bottoms." He smirked at her. Emily couldn't understand what was happening. Jameson stood there calm as could be while Laura was visibly in a rage. "Poor girls bum was sticking out." The woman was almost toe-to-toe with him. "Is it a problem?"

"Is it? What the fuck?" She tried sidestepping him and he blocked her. "Jameson, I don't know what game you're playing..."

"That's just it. I'm not playing a game." Laura looked at him with fire in her eyes. "She's not yours."

"We already had this talk last night."

"No. She's also _not_ her sister's." He was deliberate in his words. Emily wanted to shrink away. She could feel how angry Laura was. She had never seen her like this. She could only imagine what she was capable of if they were alone. She almost reached out to Jameson to make sure he wasn't going anywhere. _Behave. I'll keep all your secrets_. She began panicking. Laura would tell Katie. She would tell her everything and she would be in it then.

"Jameson... it's ok. It's not a big deal." Her voice sounded tiny in comparison to how the other two adults had been speaking. She undid the drawstring and started to push down the pajamas. He turned around and stopped her. His hands touched hers and he felt her shaking underneath it all. She felt so young. He wasn't much for saving people but he couldn't not do something for her.

"Emily." She looked at him. She wanted to yell that she would get punished, that she was supposed to do things a certain way. He shook his head and let go of her hands. He grabbed the drawstring and retied it. "Go to the bedroom." She didn't speak. She heard Laura start to say something but the look he gave her silenced her. "Wait for me there. I promise you're safe."

..

Naomi had finished her shift and decided that going to Effy's wasn't what she wanted. As much as she loved her, she needed to think. Shaughnessy invited her out to have drinks with him, his girlfriend and a couple of other mates and she accepted. As she sat there listening to mindless dribble and celebrity gossip, she let her mind wander.

 _"Seriously how many outfits does one person need?" Naomi pondered as she was thrust another paint of dress slacks. "You have seen my wardrobe? I've got enough in there to mix and match through at least fifteen outings... at least that's what the article said."_

 _Laura glared at her. "You're my girlfriend. Do you really think I'd let you out looking... basic?" She had cringed at Naomi's clothing choices but hadn't bothered to take the reins on it. Not overtly. She'd replaced half her knickers with pricey ones and managed to slip in an evening gown or two in with her clothes. She'd even gone through her leggings and jeans and tossed the more worn out of the lot._

 _"I do not look basic." Naomi held on to the clothes. She realized that half the time if she ignored Laura and let her think she was getting her way, things would go easier._ And since she doesn't live with you, you can ignore everything she says. _It was a small bit of satisfaction. "I think I look good in my clothes... and I'm comfy to boot." That earned her a growl._

 _"I'm a designer. How would it look if you went to events with me and looked like you'd... No. You need better clothes."_

She shook away the cobwebs when asked if she wanted to do shots.


	22. Chapter 21B

Chapter 21b

Emily was sitting on the bed waiting. She had left the bedroom door open but Jameson had come by and shut it. She couldn't hear a damn thing and her nerves were frayed. She was in the middle of everything and didn't know why. She couldn't understand why he cared. He was a complete stranger.

"You're a bastard." Laura almost spit the words.

"I'm pretty sure my folks were married." He had returned to find her pouring scotch into a tumbler. She looked at him and settled on pouring him one as well. She pushed it towards him and he took it. "You can't keep doing what you're doing."

"Why not?" Laura drank. "And what the fuck is it that I'm doing?"

"Aside from the fact that you're abusing her? Let me think..." He looked at her. "I don't know what got you so fucking angry but you would have hurt her... truly hurt her if I wasn't here."

"So fucking what? She deserves it. This... this is all her doing."

"What is all her doing?" She stopped herself from shouting Naomi's name. She shook her head.

"Why did you stay? Because of her?"

"She's not meant to be here. Not with you."

"Who is she meant to be with? You?" He shrugged. Their paths had diverged years ago but they remained entwined. It was inevitable. "If you want her, just fuck her and be done with it. I already told you that you could, didn't I?"

"Yes. You practically threw her at me last night."

"You seemed to enjoy the show." She pointed to his crotch. "Pretty sure that was at full mast."

"You're right. I'm a sick fuck. I enjoyed two women fucking in front of me."

"That's not all you _enjoyed_. You fucked me after I was done with her. You didn't hold back." He nodded. "You haven't been like that since...Why? What changed? Why pay me more attention?" She laughed cruelly. _It's her. That fucking little cunt. You told everyone she was a witch last night. It's true. She's bewitched you all_. "What's the difference between fucking me and fucking her?"

"Because she never _chose_ this." He was angry. He knew he would never make her see it. "Laura... she was given to you by her fucking sister. She's a fucking bonus for getting into business with them." She'd explained it last night as if it would be ok. "She's human. She's not property." He wanted to shake her but knew it would be of no use.

"I'm not having this conversation. You can either fuck her and get out or just get out."

"No."

"No? No you won't fuck her? Or no you won't get out?"

"I'm not leaving you with her."

"Fine I'll call..."

"The cops? Please do." He pulled his phone out. "Tell you what... I'll call. Remind me again, who owns this flat?" She was looking at him with despair. "I know you think you are in some sort of position of power. With having wealthy amoral friends, but I'm pretty sure the police would have issue with what's happening with Emily. And since I own the flat, _you're_ the one who will get escorted off the premises."

She was aghast. "You don't meant that." There was a hint of almost fear in her eyes. "You would kick me out... because of _her_?"

"Not if you behave like a civilized human." She was looking at him weirdly. "I don't want to. But I will. You know I've kept the flat to make sure you were..."

"Taken care of." She hugged herself and felt like someone had raked nails down her spine.

"Yes." Jameson wanted to regret this action. He'd thought he was being noble once upon a time. "And it can continue to be a safe place... but you cannot go near her again."

"You were supposed to want her... to be..."

"Proud of you... I get what you wanted from me. But you were wrong."

..

Naomi was stumbling into Effy's flat. It had taken her almost ten minutes to get upstairs. Shaughnessy had helped her get there but she refused his help once she got out of the car. She insisted she was in good shape. She dropped her bag at the door and fell over when she tried kicking off her shoes. "Turn around...Every now and then...I get a little bit lonely...And you're never coming round..." She starts singing softly while lying in the entry hall.

"Oh... Cook... oh god..." Effy moans as Cook is firmly licking between her legs. They were both slightly wet from the earlier shower. Clothing was forgotten and lust, need had taken over. They'd collapsed on the bed after kissing and fucking their way through the cleanup. She scrubbed his body, his hands. She wanted to wipe away the past few years. The darkness that was threatening to eat him alive. He'd wanted to feed on her. Feel her under him and breathing life into him through her body. He was sucking and licking when she heard it.

 _"Turn around...Every now and then...I get a little bit tired...Of listening to the sound of my tears..."_

"Shit... Cook... Cook.. you need to... fuck.. stop..." Effy was pushing his head away and trying to pull herself away. Her own body resisting.

 _"Turn around...Every now and then...I get a little bit nervous...That the best of all the years have gone by..."_

"Cook... stop!" She launched herself off the bed looking for a tshirt. She couldn't bother with anything else.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" He was looking confused, licking his lips. "You getting your peri... wait.. what the fuck is that?"

 _"Turn around...Every now and then I get a little bit terrified...And then I see the look in your eyes..."_

"That is..." She sighed, knowing what she would find. "Apocalypse. Fuck..." She raced out of the bedroom, leaving him to look for something to cover himself with.

"Turn around, bright eyes...Every now and then I fall apart...Turn around, bright eyes...Every now and then I fall apart"

She found her lying on her back by the entrance. She had one shoe on, one off. "Oh Naoms..." Effy went to her and knelt by her side. "Oh sweetie..."

"Effyy..." Naomi smiled lazily. She reached up. "I missed you. I had a drink... or drinks... there may have been... a few."

"I can tell." She touched Naomi's face, then helped her sit up. "Come on."

..

Laura was in the flat's small office. She was throwing anything that wasn't nailed down. She didn't care about any of it. She was angry and she couldn't get to the object of her anger. She'd been given a choice. Not one she wanted, not one she could comprehend. She'd tried to storm off to the bedroom and been physically stopped. She'd lashed out, hitting, scratching but he subdued her easily enough. Once she had stopped trying to rip into him, he let go. He warned her again. She could stay but she needed to back off. It was when she went into the little office.

She was on her knees with paper, glass and broken bits of plastic. Even her computer was broken. At least the monitor. She tried calming herself down. She felt out of control. Everything she had wanted, had been so close to having, was slipping. Someone needed to pay. She couldn't put Emily in her place. Not while Jameson was there. _She took it all away. She took Naomi. Jameson. When she leaves with him, Katie will blame you. She'll take your future. Put a stop to it_. Laura searched frantically for her phone. She'd placed it on the desk. The desk that she'd ended up flipping on its side because it was too light to prevent it from happening. She pushed aside paper, glass. Some cut her hands but she didn't even care. Once she had her phone in hand, she had to decide what to do. She looked for what she wanted then sent a text. Then without much more thought that to make someone pay she sent off a flurry of messages to one number. She knew that she had pulled the pin on a grenade and hurled it. And she didn't care.

..

Jameson knocked on the bedroom door before opening it. Emily had heard the chaos and retreated to the en-suite. She'd gone as far away from the noises as possible. "Emily?" He called out as he made his way inside. He found her sitting against the porcelain wall. "Hey." She looked up at him to see bleeding scratch marks down his neck disappearing under the collar of his shirt. She blinked and shook her head.

"Where is... where is she?"

"She's still here." He sat near her but didn't touch. "I promised you were safe." She shook her head.

"You can't promise that... you don't know me... you don't know..."

"I know enough. And you're safe from her."

"She'll tell my sister. I can't... you don't know her." She looked up and she'd been crying. Tears still falling. He didn't reach out but nodded.

"As I said, I know enough. Your sister... she doesn't scare me. Laura doesn't scare me."

"They're..."

"Drug dealers... big fucking deal." He shrugged. "I don't fear them."

"I do."

"I know." He gave her a smile. He touched his neck and wiped at the blood. Laura had done worse before. They'd had knife play in the past that she took way too far. A little blood wasn't going to upset him. It upset her and he could see it.

"You need to see to that."

"Yeah..." He stood up and stripped his shirt off. He looked in the mirror. "Don't suppose you know where the first aid stuff is?" She moved. Slowly, but she moved. She looked in the cabinet and pulled out some antiseptic and cotton balls. She was standing next to him.

"You... she did that cause of me? You shouldn't have..." He turned and took her hand. She flinched because he'd moved so suddenly, but his grip was soft.

"She did this because she's..." He gave her a sigh. "She and I have history. It's not pretty. But this... it isn't your fault."

"It's all my fault." She looked down at the floor.

...

"Sing with me Effy..." Naomi was looking at Effy who gave her a raised eyebrow at the notion that she would sing. Especially ... song. "Oooh... That Kim Wylde song then... Umm.. shit.. Set me free why don't cha babe... yeah that's it... Get out of my life why don't cha babe... You don't really need me...But you keep me hangin'on..."

"How many drinks did you have?"

"Oooohh... keep me hanging on..." She looked at Effy and blinked. "You're not wearing knickers. Is it my birthday?" Effy slapped Naomi's hand away.

"Jesus. There were shots weren't there? Fuck."

"Don't know whose shorts these are but I borrowed them." Cook finally came out of the bedroom wearing boxer briefs. Effy had Naomi sitting up. "Whoa... blondie's tits up ain't she?" Naomi turned her head to the voice.

"Uh oh... Effy..." She pretended to whisper. "Monster cock is here... shh... if we're quiet he won't notice you're almost naked... are those my boxers?"

"I think I like monster cock instead of monster boy." He laughed and wiggled his hips.

"Shut up." Effy growled. "Help me get her in the loo... she's going to vomit sooner than later and it's easier to clean her up in there." He bent down and slipped his arm under her bent knees. She slapped at him. "Naoms!" She had the decency to look chastised.

"I don't like him. I don't like you. You.. you put your... in her.." She was being carried as she mumbled. He sighed at her words. "Did you know she was my first kiss? Well, not the first first one.. that was some bloke in school... but she was my first girl kiss... my first crush... I swear I followed her everywhere..."

"She told me." He mumbled as he set her down on the floor next to the toilet.

"We weren't in the same classes... not really... not through school.. she told you? She has a great voice... all husky... god she makes my knickers wet."

"I like 'er like this." Cook laughed and sat down next to her much to Effy's chagrin.

"Cook..." Effy shook her head. She'd seen Naomi in this state more than she'd like. Being drunk wasn't a crime and she didn't do it often enough for it to be a concern. But it was the kind of drunk she was right now. When she started singing that first song. It meant she was sliding down a hole that would take weeks to crawl out of.

"She likes art... museum kind art... and books... that girl.. she could live in a library... Karen would know what I was doing before I even told her. She'd find me in a corner of the library pretending to study. I didn't need to... not really... I aced things.. my brain... keeps things in there... used to anyway... and she'd find her way to the library.. least twice a week."

"Who? This Karen?" Cook was watching the blonde. There was something in her eyes that he recognized. It was because he'd seen the same light when Emily had spoken to him. It was usually late at night in bed together. It had been intimate. She told him about this girl who had stolen her heart before she knew what it even meant.

"No... not Karen.. I mean she showed up sometimes... but only cause I wasn't where I was supposed to be... I was watching her... those eyes... that hair... she had red hair sometimes."

"Naoms... we should get you changed." Effy was trying to get her out of her clothes.

"Ooohh... it is my birthday... you're still not wearing knickers." Cook laughed. "Did you like it?"

"Like what?" He said between chuckles, ignoring Effy's sad look of warning.

"Fucking her."

..

"There I think it's clean." Emily had washed up Jameson's scratches and applied the antiseptic. He hadn't even flinched.

"Thank you."

"Why?" She asked as she capped the antiseptic.

"Why thank you?"

"Why did you put yourself in her way? Why not walk away? I... I came to her. I _called_ her. I know what she's like and still, I called."

"Were you desperate?"

"What?"

"When you called her... where you desperate to get away from where you were?" She bit her lip and nodded. "Then you didn't know what she's like. She's got her hooks in you and hasn't shown her true self. You think she cares, that she'll be nice to you if you merely do what you're told. She's the lesser of two evils in your mind." He realized it was too silent. He'd heard the destruction a few minutes ago and knew she was throwing a tantrum. "She's unkind and vicious." He stood there shirtless. He needed to go into the flat to his closet. "Do you want to stay in here? Or do you want to stay with me? I need a shirt."

"I'll go with you..." There was a part of her that thought she might be able to make things better. They walked out of the bedroom together to find more silence. Jameson wondered if he shouldn't have locked Laura in a closet. He knew it would have been extreme but she had a way of wreaking havoc. He didn't care if she destroyed her things, even if she destroyed the flat itself no matter that almost everything belonged to him. He got to the closet and typed in the lock code. When he opened it, Emily peeked. She was surprised at the contents. There were three shelves that held folded clothes, even changes of shoes. It was all supremely organized. She couldn't see what was on the top shelf but he closed the door before she could ask. He put on the shirt and they went back into the living room.

"Is there something you would like to do today?" The way he asked felt friendly and Emily smiled.

"She's not doing anything today but going home." Laura was standing nearby. "Katie should be on the way."

..

Cook held his tongue and wrung his hands. He'd earned anything she had to say to him. "I asked you a question." There was a far-off ding, followed by another.

"You did." He looked at Effy who was sitting across from them, arms crossed. "What do you want me to say?" There was another ding.

"I'd like an answer. Did you like fucking her?" Three more dings. "Fucking fuck... enough already..." She squirmed and dug into her front pocket, pulling out her phone. "Oh, that's great... fucking... that's it... I'm blocking her number..." She opened the message screen and stopped moving. She went pale and it alerted Effy.

"Naoms?" She watched the blonde use her thumb to scroll on the screen. Then she dropped the phone and dove for the toilet. What little she'd ingested by way of food and copious amounts of alcohol not yet digested came up. There was a sickly sweet smell and Effy moved to pull Naomi's hair back.

"Effs..." Cook said. He'd picked up the dropped phone and was looking at it.

"Put it down. It's likely her ex being a cunt." She was watching Naomi wretch into the toilet and rubbing her back with one hand. She'd used a hair tie to hold her hair in place.

"Effs..." He repeated but sounded shaky. She looked at him and he held up the phone. Her eyes opened wide at what she saw. She took the phone from him and looked at the screen. She swallowed and looked at Naomi.

"Shit."

..

"No... no... no.. no." Emily felt her heart in her throat. Laura smiled. Jameson shook his head.

"Emily... it's ok. You don't have to go with her." He watched as Emily stared at Laura.

"I'm sure Katie and Luke would disagree with you. Something about lying to them."

"You told them... you..." She felt sick. _Behave. I'll keep all your secrets_. She looked at her clothes. "No... no..." She pulled at the pajama drawstrings. "I'll change out of these... I promise... I'll behave... You have to... you have to tell them you were wrong... Please.." She was in utter panic. She pulled the bottoms down and stepped out of them. "Please... Laura... I can't go there... Katie... she'll... tell them you were wrong!" Jameson hadn't expected this turn of events.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He yelled at Laura as he put his arms around Emily. "Shh.. stop it... it doesn't matter what she said. You're safe here. You don't have to go with them." He was glaring at Laura who took a seat and watched Emily in torment. While it wasn't as good as striking her herself or making her feel her disappointment, it was thrilling in its own way.

"She's pretty upset you know. She didn't think you had it in you to be so devious." She knew if Jameson let go of the distraught girl, she herself would suffer. He would hurt her without prejudice. There was only one way it would truly be worth it now. "Don't worry though... I took care of Naomi too." Emily stilled at the name.

..

"That fucking cunt..." Effy hissed it out. Naomi had finally stopped puking and was now lying on the floor of the loo, her head in her friend's lap. She had her eyes shut but she wasn't quite asleep. Cook hadn't gone far but he wasn't looking at either of the girls. His arms were wrapped around his knees. The phone was by Effy's side, its screen shut off. It didn't matter. The images that had come through had wrecked the lot of them. Laura had pulled no punches in her latest strike. She'd sent compromising images of Emily with a number of individuals, Laura included, to Naomi's phone.

It hadn't been a shock to Cook, not entirely. He'd been there for Emily. He'd watched over her and seen what she'd had to do before. But the pictures Laura had sent were new to him. It left him feeling sick, cold. He couldn't imagine what Naomi felt. It hadn't been until after Effy had seen the pictures that she explained about Laura, her direct connection to Naomi. His mind was in a knot. He wanted to ask questions but didn't. There was a creeping massive guilt that was preventing him from forming coherent thoughts. He'd been with her, in her bed. He'd enjoyed her, her company and body. And he was dumbstruck as to how little he'd understood what Emily had been up against this entire year.

Effy ran her hand through Naomi's hair. She knew there was no comfort in her touch. It had been bad when she'd walked through the door drunk and singing. It had gotten exponentially worse and she didn't see a good outcome. She wanted to stand up, to walk out the door and march to the viper's flat. She wanted to hurt her until there was nothing left. One person had hurt everyone she cared about. _It wasn't just her. Others helped. She did this though. She knew. She fucking knew who Emily was. How can you be sure? Easy. She wouldn't have sent Emily's pictures to hurt Naomi if she wasn't aware of their history._ "Naoms... let's get you cleaned up, get you into bed." She whispered it but wasn't sure the blonde would move.

..

Jameson had picked Emily up and carried her into the spare bedroom. He set her on the bed where she continued sobbing. He had shut down. He couldn't help her otherwise. He covered her with a blanket and left her there. Laura hadn't moved from where she sat. The smile on her face was a caricature to him. His stride never slowed. Not even when she realized he was intent on getting at her. She went to stand and he grabbed her by the neck. His hand squeezing tight.

"You're going to call her sister. Tell her she took off. Now." She tried shaking her head no but his grip got tighter. "You will. Deny me and you won't leave this flat." She sputtered and tried clawing at his hand but he slapped her hands away. "You are impetuous and cold. I should have done something... but I swear I thought you might change. Even if it was a small change." He let go and pushed her to the couch. "Make the call. Don't test me." She was coughing and trying to get air into her lungs.

"She hasn't..." She let out another cough. "I sent her... a text." He grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to him.

"You sent who a text?"

"Kkatie... she didn't reply. I said... I only said I had to talk to her. That's it. I didn't say anything else..." She'd not seen him like this in years. She was terrified. "You're... you're mad."

"You didn't tell her sister then? Didn't speak to her?" Laura shook her head as best she could with his fingers in her hair. "And the other person... Naomi? Did you..."

"Yes.. I did send the pictures... she chose that little bit..." Her words stopped when his other hand grabbed her by the throat again. "Naomi was mine." She managed to get out.

"No." He got his face up close to hers. "You had no one. Emily wasn't yours. Naomi wasn't yours. You are too damaged to be anyone's. I should have done something back then... but I've learned my lesson."

..

Effy had helped Naomi rinse her mouth and change into sleepwear. Oddly, she hadn't fought or complained at Cook carrying her to bed. Her mind drifted. It went to memories of a brown eyed girl smiling across the park. Her laugh ringing in her ears. Another woman entered her memories. A different laugh. A different pair of eyes. She'd questioned her about Emily. She'd been subtle but she'd asked. A dozen times at least. Naomi had thought it was pure jealousy. It wasn't a welcome emotion but she hadn't thought it would have deeper reasons for existing. She didn't speak, she couldn't. Words were lost. She curled up tighter into a ball.

Cook had gotten a pair of sweats from Effy. They were her brother's. He sat on the couch and couldn't move. His body was tense. She came and sat next to him, burrowing into his side. "You ok princess?"

"Are you?"

"Not really."

"Yeah."

"She's fucked up in the head ain't she?"

"Naomi?"

"No. That Laura."

"Yes." She sighed, taking his hand in hers. She kissed the back of it.

"Where is she? You said you knew where... tell me."

..

Jameson stepped into the spare bedroom. Emily had fallen asleep. Her eyes were puffy and he couldn't fault her. He had Laura's phone in his hand. He'd scrolled through the messages, seen exactly what she'd sent by way of pictures. Then he found the message she'd sent Katie. It hadn't been specific at all. Just asking her to call. He sent a follow up telling her she'd sent the previous one in error. He could do nothing about the pictures. There was still a wall up. He needed to rein in his emotions. He couldn't step out of that moment lest he lose himself more than he just had. He walked back out and went into the main bedroom. Laura lay motionless on the bed. He'd almost done it. His handprints visible on her neck. Slight discoloration where he'd applied the most pressure. It wasn't until she'd passed out that he'd stopped.

He dragged her here, dumped her on the bed. When he noticed she was still breathing, he went about getting her phone. Now he was staring at her and debating what to do next. He couldn't let her do this to anyone again. He knew she wasn't his responsibility. He logically knew it. But their past bound their future and on that level, she was his to deal with. He needed to think clearly. He couldn't make a mistake.

..

Emily had fallen asleep. When she woke, the room was in the dark and she didn't recognize it right away. That sense of dread was so barely under the surface that it broke through with a sob. She clamped a hand over her mouth, trying to hear anything past her present surroundings. Nothing. She slid off the bed and crawled to the closed bedroom door. She listened only to hear more of the same. Slowly she left the bedroom, crawling along the wall. The flat felt empty. There were no voices, no noise. By the time she reached the kitchen, she was standing up. She walked the better part of the flat and found it empty. She was surprised. _Forget the surprise. Go to the office. Get to her files. Do what you came here for and run._

She was spurred on by a sense of survival and went to the office. She could do this. She could help Cook and herself this way. But she was met with chaos and disaster. She remembered the sounds earlier. Laura had taken her anger out in here. _She could have been doing this to you. She could have hurt you. Really hurt you. But she did hurt you. Naomi._ The memory of what she'd said in the kitchen slammed into her.

 _Laura had laughed as she told Emily and Jameson. "You stupid bitch." She toyed with her phone in her hand. "I fucked you senseless every chance I got. And every time, it wasn't just to get off on you, your pain. It was to remind myself how much better I was than you. How much more I could offer Naomi." The name was a piercing stab. How did she know about her? "Been fucking her on the regular for almost four years... girlfriend thing... she still thinks about you... the past you... not this. Not what you are. She doesn't know though. So I made sure she did. Proof positive that you're nothing but... a toy." She casually scrolled through something on the phone. Emily could feel Jameson vibrating with anger. It was scary as he was still holding her. Not that she could have stood. Her body wanted to curl up on the ground and disappear with every word out of Laura's mouth._

 _"That's a good one... you_ _taking it from me from behind. The look on your face. You playing with yourself.. Hoping she at least appreciates that one. Oh, wait... here we go.. You probably don't remember these... You were well out of your mind that night. Not sure how much you drank or how much... product we sampled. All in the name of quality control. But yes... you were naughty. Two men.. at once. Perfectly captured... Want to see?"_ She recalled the screams she let out.

She swallowed and sank to her knees.

..

"You sure this is her place?" Cook looked around but there was no one in the corridor. Effy stood next to him. They had left Naomi passed out in bed. It wasn't ideal but she didn't want him coming here by himself. And he couldn't let Effy take the risk alone.

"It's not in her name. But this is the address Naomi had for her and it matches a few of the so-called business records." He pulled the picks out of his back pocket. She took them from him.

"Oi,"

"Either I work the lock or I hold on to the gun. Which would you rather I do?" He said nothing and let her pick the lock. She was on her knees with her ear pressed as close to the mechanism as possible. He knew if she had the gun and Laura was inside, they'd be dealing with nothing short of murder. He wouldn't be opposed but he didn't think it was in anyone's interest for Effy to go to prison. The lock opened with a click and she stood up.

..

Emily had resigned herself to her fate. With the office destroyed, she didn't know what she could do to save herself and Cook. _You should have listened to him._ She made it back to the living room and curled up on the couch. She still wore the oversized shirt but the bottoms were where she had dropped them in the kitchen. She didn't care anymore. Any sense of modesty she could have laid claim to was gone. She heard the door then. Closing her eyes, she wondered if she could simply die from despair. She waited.

"Emily?" She heard Effy's voice and thought she was hallucinating. "Emily!" She opened her eyes to be greeted by a pair of concerned blue eyes staring at her. She felt a touch on her cheek and flinched. "It's ok... we're getting you out." She blinked and reached out to touch Effy's hand.

"I don't... You're here? How?" She felt numb. She saw movement and pulled back until she realized who it was. His arm extended as he made his way through the flat. "Cook? You're with Cook? You came... Naomi!" She sat up. "Is she with..." Effy shook her head.

"She's back at the flat... waiting for _us_." She noticed Emily's state of undress. "Do you have something else you could wear?"

"Dresses... they're in the bedroom..." Effy shook her head. "Pajama pants... in the kitchen. They're not mine... they're big." Cook nodded and went to the kitchen to retrieve them. "How'd you find me?"

"I figured out what thread to pull." It was an automatic answer and Effy realized it meant nothing to Emily. "I did some digging... on her. Thought you might be here. Hoped."

"Here little twin." Cook handed her the bottoms. His other hand still held the gun but it was by his side. "No one 'ere." Emily shook her head. Effy helped her stand. She got the pajamas on and rolled the top as well as the legs. "Could fit two o'you in those. Whose are those?"

"Mine." Jameson's voice was loud by comparison to theirs. The girls looked up and there he stood. With the two Johns and JP behind him. The last one closing the door, Effy and Cook had left open.

"What the fuck?" Cook brought the gun up. He was caught completely unaware by the intrusion.

"Cook." Jameson held up his hands. "I'm unarmed. We all are."

"Fuck you. Move. We're getting out o'here."

"I don't think so." Jameson stood fairly still but he motioned with his head and the other three men took up flanking positions. Even if Cook fired, he wouldn't hit all of them. "She's not going back."

"Back to who you fuck? Why the fuck are you here? You're not taking her." He was calculating whether he could take on enough of them to let the girls escape. "You're supposed to be in Edinburgh last I'eard."

"I was... visiting friends." A small movement of his fingers and the two Johns moved further to his left. "And I'm not in the habit of _taking_ women. My outfit doesn't do human trade. You should know that by now."

"Oi... you two.. stop!" Cook yelled. His focus was getting diverted. The girls moved back. He caught sight of JP and pointed the gun his way. "You motherfucker... I ought to put a bullet in your skull right now." The man threw his hands up.

"Cook!" Effy's and Emily's voices rang out. He didn't falter. JP was one of the men in the photos and his anger was getting to him.

"Please put the weapon down. I know why you're angry and it will be dealt with." He gave a side glance to JP who had been warned before coming with them. He would have to answer for what he'd done to Emily. "I can't let her go back to her sister though. I need to insist." The two Johns moved even further.

"Fuck you mate. Why would I take her back there?"

"You work for her, for him."

"He doesn't." It was Emily who spoke up. Jameson's eyes went to hers. "He doesn't work for them... not really."

"Emily..." Cook gave a low warning. He didn't need her to say it.

"He's a cop." All the men focused on Cook then. "He can help me."

"Ahh fuck. Emily..." He groaned knowing she'd blown what little cover he had. His hand gripped tighter on the gun and really hoped no one was carrying as Jameson had said. Their eyes met and the other man laughed.

"Well... that's... unexpected." He put his hands down. He turned to the two Johns. "Go clean up the office." He turned to JP. "Hit the bedroom. Get it spotless." Nobody moved for a second. "He won't shoot you. Just... ignore them and do what I said." The men hurried past Cook who kept changing his target as they moved. "Put it away." Jameson moved to an armchair and sat. "You won't use it. Not if she's telling the truth."

"Why wouldn't I?" He didn't lower it but was unbalanced at the utter disregard the man opposite him was displaying.

"Because I am unarmed... in my home... you are trespassing and I bet that goes against the law... Mister Officer.. Does Luke know?"

"If he knew, would I be standing 'ere?"

"Maybe you're dirty?"

"I'd have shot you if I was dirty."

"Can either of you two explain what the fuck you're on about?" Effy was scowling as she watched everything. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Jameson Mather."

"OK so you own the place." She recalled the name from the information she'd found. "Brilliant. Explain the rest? Cook?"

"Put the gun down before it goes off. I'm not here to hurt anyone." Jameson scoffed. "I came back for Emily." Cook advanced on him the gun aimed at his head. "Not like that you git."

"He stopped Laura from hurting me." She said it plainly but was confused with everything. "Where is she?" Jameson looked at her and smiled.

"Where she won't hurt anyone again. I promised you would be safe." She nodded, inferring something final about the statement. She couldn't feel glad. She was still just as numb as before any of them walked in. He turned to look at Cook. "You're here for her but you're not returning her to him or to her sister?"

"Fuck no. I want her away from them. What's it to you?" Effy crossed her arms. While she was piecing some things together, some of it was still unanswered.

"Cook put the gun down. Who the fuck is he?" Surprisingly, he did as she asked and flipped the safety on the piece.

"Think of him as competition. Luke's competition."

"I disagree. I'm superior." Cook made a noise in his throat. "My product is higher quality and my base is loyal. Not to mention I don't peddle flesh or collect... people." He could see Cook bristle at that. Jameson looked at Effy. "I moved out of London two years ago. It left the playing field open to the likes of his boss. Sorry... his pretend boss. Really though... you played the part so well." He laughed. "If he doesn't yet know, can I tell him? Because it wou..."

"Fuck's sake shut up." Effy was tired. "So you're not here to hurt Emily. All you wanted to do was get her away from Laura? From her sister?" Jameson nodded. "Sorted." She grabbed Emily's elbow and started heading out of the flat leaving Cook to catch up. As they left, he gave Jameson a look and Cook knew he was done with undercover work forever.


	23. Chapter 22

Have we recovered? I'm not sure I have... but... here is the latest.

We are back to shorter chapters and I will update day after tomorrow. My brain is needing some time to process my twistiness.

Thank you to marsupial for fighting through my tale of something and pushing me to my goal... you rock

Thank you to mynameislizzie2 (reviewed each chapter AND gave me reader insight goodies in a dm), dammitnaomily, and tigertrap...

thank you to all my readers for staying on...

warning: ... umm.. yeah no... none. this chapter does not need a warning...

* * *

Chapter 22

 _Katie should be on the way. Behave. I'll keep all your secrets. Not what you are. She doesn't know though. So I made sure she did_. Emily let out a small cry as her eyes flew open. She didn't know where she was. There was an arm around her and a body pressed against her. The panic she felt was instant. Someone stirred behind her.

"You ok?" The sleepy gravelly voice reached her ears as the arm pulled her in closer. Her entire body warmed with surprise and relief.

"N..Naomi?"

"Hmm?" The blonde was trying to remain asleep. She knew the moment she opened her eyes would wreak havoc on her head. She felt Emily trembling and tried squeezing her. "Eff likes to keep the flat chilly..." She yawned. "Something about the computers or her.. fucking process... I don't..." She buried her face against Emily's neck.

She wanted to turn around, to see her, to make sure she wasn't still dreaming. _What if I am? Maybe this dream is better than reality. Maybe I stay in this dream_. She swallowed. "Are you real?"

"Uhh.." Naomi opened her eyes and the pain was there, right behind her right eyeball. "Yes. Fuck that hurts." Emily turned around in an instant, her eyes wide and wet with tears.

"What?" Was she hurt? She was trying to remember how she ended up here. _Maybe you've been here all along. Maybe you never went back. Maybe that was the nightmare_.

"Bloody bastard... he knows I can't say no to shots. Swear the fucker exacts revenge with his 'let's have a drink' ideas." She looked in Emily's eyes. Bringing her hand up, she wiped away falling tears. "Hey now... you're ok... you're safe."

"Where..."

"Effy's flat. Mine's in... well it's being put back together after that fucking..." She closed her eyes and tried pushing her anger away. It wouldn't make her head better.

"We're not in Northfleet... so it all happened?" Emily's stomach tightened and she could feel herself pulling away from Naomi. But the blonde held on tightly.

"What? No... that was a couple of days ago I think... was it really only a couple of days ago? Shit." She felt another attempt at Emily disengaging. "Hey... where... are you ok?" Emily was crying now. "Hey... no.. don't.. you're ok, you're safe... you're here with me..."

"Lau... laura... she sent... she said..." It came out in between sobs. She covered her face and tried turning away but Naomi was not having it.

"She's not here. It's just you and me... well and Effy and the idiot she's likely boning." Emily was shaking her head. Naomi took it the wrong way. "Sorry... didn't mean to upset you about dear Cook and his dalliance."

"What? No no... not that..." She tried catching her breath. "You... you saw... you're here..."

"Ems... my head is about two minutes from a full exorcist spin thanks to excesses of vodka. Please don't make me translate that." Emily tried to breathe and focus.

"She... said... she sent... you..." She was trying to say it but it physically hurt to convey the thought. _What if she doesn't remember? What if she didn't really see them?_ She started shaking her head and bit her lip.

"Ahh.." Naomi understood. She gave the slightest of nods. "She did. Yes." She took a moment and watched as Emily almost dissolved in front of her. "I don't want to talk about that." She brought a hand to the young woman's face again. "You're here... you're safe. That's all... ok?" Such confusion looking back at her and Naomi could feel the despair. She wasn't ready for that. She wasn't ready for much other than some analgesics and a lot of coffee. "Shh... you're safe." She pulled her in tight and let Emily cry into her shoulder. Her hands rubbing the distraught woman's back as she kept repeating that she was safe.

..

"Jesus Eff..." Cook was gripping the sheets on the pull out, trying to keep his voice down. It was getting more difficult the harder Effy saw to him. His entire body shook as she took the entire length in her mouth. They had barely slept. She kept fidgeting in her sleep, too wound up to rest. She finally gave in and slipped under the sheets. He'd been half hard as he usually was when he slept. She gave him no warning or notice. She simply took his cock in her mouth and let herself feel him.

He was trying to think of anything he could to prevent him from letting go. His mind was zigzagging between the traumatic recent events, happy memories and never used arithmetic from primary. He knew it was pure instinct from Effy, a need for release. She had too much energy. Too much had gone on. The tension they had all built up needed an escape. He could feel his own need rising. His hands reached out to her and he brought her up from his cock. His mouth took hers in an instant. His fingers diving between her legs and making her moan. He could feel her wetness, her desire. Before either realized, they were fucking with abandon causing the springs in the pullout to squeak.

..

It was a few hours later when Naomi finally woke up properly. Emily was thankfully asleep. She made her way out of the bedroom and to the kitchen where Cook sat in her boxers still eating cereal. Effy was already pouring coffee.

"Did I sing?" She vaguely recalled the memory but it had happened before and she hoped that she'd spared herself the embarrassment.

"Yup." Her mate answered with such a tone as to remind her that it would have been odd had she not sung while drunk.

"Which song?" Effy gave her a look. "Fuck." Cook laughed. "You are not... off my shit list wanker." She pointed at him with her coffee cup before bringing it to her lips.

"How's Ems?" Effy asked after hopping on to the counter.

"Asleep... for now." They gave themselves a moment of reflection before tackling the monsters in the room. "Where's Laura?" Naomi asked with anger bubbling up.

"Gone."

"Gone where?" Effy took a breath before detailing the events. Cook was surprised at how much information she managed to get in so few words. If it had been him, he'd be babbling and likely not addressed half of the important stiff. "I see." It was all the blonde managed. Effy reached behind her and grabbed a bottle of painkillers from the kitchen cupboard. They were easier to access there than the loo. She handed it to Naomi who thanked her.

"Did she sleep ok?" Cook asked in between spoonfuls of food. Naomi glared at him.

"Best as she could." She looked at the both of them before she swallowed two pills. "Where's my phone?" Effy shook her head. Cook looked about ready to dunk his head into his bowl. "I'm not completely out of it. I know what's on it. I need to..." Effy shook her head. "Where is it?"

"Blondie... it's..." He wasn't looking at her as he started to talk but his head popped up when she approached him.

"If you value your teeth, you'll shut the fuck up. I'm not asking you. I'm asking Effy."

"You're not getting it back Naoms. Not right now." She turned to face a pair of cold blue eyes.

"It's my phone."

"Yeah... and it's your heart I'm worried about." She paused. "Yours and Ems."

"My phone isn't..."

"Going to change things?" She gave a half shrug. "Maybe, maybe not. But I think you can forget about looking at the pictures." Naomi looked at her.

"You didn't delete them." It was a statement and not a question.

"No." She drank her coffee.

"If you were so worried about my fucking heart why didn't you get rid of them."

"Cause that's not going to erase them from your head."

"Then why not give me the _fucking_ phone?" Her head hurt too much to keep going around like this.

"Cause I don't need you to obsess over them. I know you. I know you will pick them apart and wonder if you could have prevented any of it."

"Fuck you." Effy didn't reply. Cook stood and went to the sink. He was washing his plate in silence not wanting to interrupt. "I'm not a child. I'm not some helpless..." Effy met her eyes.

"No. _You_ are not. But someone else might be. Someone else might need strength. And someone else might not be able to forget the look on your face if she catches your reaction to the pictures." The blonde held her breath. "Cook. Could you make sure Emily is still asleep? I need to have a word with Naomi without interruptions."

..

 _The ride to Effy's flat had been a quiet one. No one had spoken. It didn't seem necessary. They had left unscathed – at least physically. Emily hugged herself in the rear seat. Her eyes vacant and reflecting the street lights and neon signs. They made their way into the building, into the elevator. The slight lurch as it stopped cause a bit of a gasp from the twin. Cook gave her a smile and a slight touch to her shoulder. He didn't know what else to do, what he could offer._

 _It didn't surprise Effy when she opened her flat's door that Emily hesitated. She saw the look in Cook's eyes and she gave him a small tilt of her head. He went inside and left them alone. She turned to look at Emily. Her eyes were cast down to her feet. Her arms so tight around her middle that she looked to break if she didn't keep them there._

 _"Emily."_

 _"She saw them didn't she? The pictures?" She couldn't look at Effy, couldn't see the disgust there. "Did you see them? Cookie?" Her voice was on the verge of shattering. Effy hadn't spoken. She could see her feet from where her sights we set. They moved closer to her and she shook her head. She felt a hand touch her chin and she had to lift her head. When their eyes met, she spoke._

 _"Yes. I saw them. Yes. Cook saw them. And yes Naomi saw them." She kept her fingers on Emily's chin, preventing her from turning away. "I saw a girl in trouble, in pain. That's it."_

 _"She said... she told me what they... showed." Her voice shaking as she remembered the glee at which Laura had shared the information._

 _"And?" Effy looked nonplussed. "You think you're the first one to ever be in that position? To be pushed into regret?" She watched the color in Emily's face. The waves between pale and reds. "It's not pretty. It's not easy... to have it happen or to see it happen to someone you care about." She let go of Emil's chin and leaned in like she had in that library so long ago. "It doesn't make you any less cared for or part of us." She turned her face just so and placed a small kiss at the corner of Emily's lips. "Now come inside before the neighbors talk."_

..

Cook was standing in the bedroom's doorway. He could see her form under the sheet. She could see her bare shoulder and the tank top's strap against her skin. Effy had offered her a change of clothes when she said she couldn't wear what she had on any longer. At first he didn't get it, but Effy had. She needed to be rid of what she'd left behind, all of it. It was a stain on her to be dressed in their clothes. He wanted to laugh at the fact that he was wearing boxers that belonged to a woman who literally hated him right now. He sat on the edge of the bed. He whispered another apology to her. He contemplated if he'd ever apologized to her before. He couldn't remember. He had closed his eyes for a moment. Her hand found his and he opened his eyes with a smile.

"Hey sleepy." He brought her hand to his lips with a squeeze. He kissed the back of it and put it against his chest. "How ya feelin'?"

"Tired..." She was trying to blink the sleep out of her eyes. She noticed he was sitting on the other side of the bed and Naomi was missing. She sat up immediately.

"Easy there... she's not left. Having a talk with Eff in the other room. Wanted me to make sure you were ok." She let out a breath and felt ridiculous.

"She let me sleep here... after everything."

..

 _Effy had managed to get her in the flat as Cook made himself comfortable on the couch. She tapped him hard on the head. "Open the damn thing. It's a pullout." He set to work and she led Emily into the bedroom. Turning on a side lamp, she wondered if Naomi would wake up. She smiled when she saw her best friend in different sleepwear than she'd left her in, a mass of wet hair and a semi-peaceful look on her face. Signs of Ms. Campbell sleepwalking into the shower on her own. She felt a modicum of relief knowing that it was status quo for her drunken nights and things weren't catastrophically worse._

 _Emily stood there in oversized pajama pants and a long nightshirt. One look at Naomi and she felt her skin burning. It wasn't lust, not then. It was the need to rid herself of the smell and feel of her life. She took off the bottoms without saying a word and paused when she almost stripped the shirt off in front of Effy. "I can't keep these on... it's... they're not.." Effy shrugged and opened a drawer. She pulled out a tank top and a pair of boy shorts. She handed them over to a gracious Emily. A minor thought crawled in her head. She turned away from Effy as she removed her knickers and slipped on the boy shorts. She wanted no part of her... of Laura. Then took off the shirt and slipped on the tank. She looked to her friend with a thank you and her eyes turned to Naomi who was no longer asleep. Emily wanted to run out. She wasn't ready._

 _Naomi was still fairly drunk but pulled back the sheet and outstretched her hand. The twin wasn't sure what to do. It took a nudge from Effy to have her step forward and slowly climb into bed with the blonde. She was covered by the sheet in the blink of an eye and an arm had wrapped around her._

 _.._

"She's worried."

"About?"

"Saint Nick and the fucking Easter bunny not knowing her new address. What the fuck do you think she'd worried about Naoms?"

"There are a few things..."

"Yes. There are. And some of them, we can't do fuck all about. You looking at the fucking pictures and having them in your brain is something we can prevent." Her voice had a menace to it but it was all hushed to stop the sound and the words from traveling through the flat.

"There's no prevention Eff. I saw _them_." She felt herself getting red with anger. Not at her best friend but at the woman who had sent the images, had likely taken the images. The woman who had shared her life in some way ot another for the past four years. Someone she obviously knew nothing of. "I saw the fucking things when they came through. Think I'm going to forget it? Forget her? Looking like..."

"Like she had no control over it."

"Don't you think I fucking get that? Christ Effy. Do you know how many girls I see in my work... see them dosed out of their fucking minds... see them being brought back from the brink and told they need... they need tests for stds, pregnancy... told they need counseling..." Her voice was hushed but full of ache. She put her coffee on the counter and rubbed her head. "I get what she's facing... maybe not all but I get that it won't be easy."

"Good."

"I don't... She's still Emily."

"Yes." Effy paused. "Still love her?"

"How could I not?" Naomi gave her a smile. "I know we were kids... and nobody knows what the fuck happens now, but it doesn't change what I feel."

"Good." Effy opened a drawer and handed her the phone. Naomi looked at it and looked at her. She took a breath and put the phone back in the drawer. She grabbed another cup and poured coffee for Emily.

..

"She loves you Ems."

"She can't."

"Can and does. She's still aching to put my bollocks in a vice over you and I. Kind of scary and a turn on." She chuckled with him. "These two... they won't let anything 'appen to you." He stroked her hand with his thumb. "I didn't do a great job of it." She went to interrupt but he stopped her. "I didn't get you killed. But I also didn't stop 'em for doing as they liked with you, didn't stop them from pushing me on to you."

"Cook..."

"Nope... I should 'ave been a better man Emily. No matter how I felt." He was looking at her, wanting forgiveness but not asking for it while she was awake. Emily looked at him then her gaze shifted to the person in the doorway. The blonde hair was standing up in places and she held two mugs in her hands and a sneer on her face.

"Do I need to remind you..." She was almost growling at him before he let go of Emily's hand.

"All yours. Geez... you're cranky when you're hungover." He moved out of the room before she could hand off one of the mugs and take a swipe at him. Naomi smiled at Emily.

"I brought coffee."


	24. Chapter 23

Latest chapter... I'm still drained... next chapter Saturday...

Thank you to all my lovelies... marsupial - I know you've got a killer chapter coming... cna't wait..

mynameislizzie2 is working on her latest.. soo much appreciated...

Thank you to my constant reviewers tigertrap and dammitnaomily... rock solid ladies..

as a reminder that this is a dark story, however, for the remaining chapters it's lighter... soo much lighter...

* * *

Chapter 23

Emily accepted the coffee and Naomi took a seat beside her on the bed. They didn't talk but would make eye contact every other sip. When her coffee was cold, Naomi spoke first. "I didn't give you a choice last night... about you know... sleeping here, with me."

"It's ok."

"No, not really." She saw doubt in Emily's eyes. "Not like that. What I mean is that... you're not here for _me_. You're not here to do what _I_ want you to do. I want you to choose. I want you to know that no matter what you choose, I'm not you know.. leaving."

"Why can't I be here for you?" She didn't want to imagine whatever future was coming without those blue eyes staring at her. _You're thinking like a lovestruck teen. You need to think – she has a life without you. You can't be chasing around her like a lost dog._

"Ems... Fuck.. maybe I'm not saying it right." She put her cup on the nightstand and took Emily's away. She took hold of her hand. It was the first time it wasn't shaking at all. She smiled. "I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you need... what you had to live through... it's... was shit. And it doesn't go away with the snap of a finger, or because a certain brunette rescued you." She received a smile at that. Naomi felt her heart swelling. "What I meant is that.. if you choose to stick around... or build a different life somewhere else.. or I don't know decide that monster twit in there is..." She didn't finish as Emily leaned in and kissed her. It left her breathless and mindless. She wanted to forget everything and everyone. _This is what happened in Northfleet. She kissed you and you caved._ "Wait... wait.." She was breaking the kiss.

Emily looked confused. "I'm sorry. I thought..."

"I don't want you for sex. I mean.. I do.. but not right now. But it's about more than... why are you looking at me like that?" There was a smile on Emily's face and a sparkle in her eye.

"You're flustered."

"I am not."

"You are." She bit her lip. "It's cute."

..

Cook had put on some of Tony's clothes and was putting on his shoes as Effy came out of the loo wrapped in a towel. He looked up and immediately wanted to be naked with her again. But he couldn't, not yet. He stood and looked for his phone. "Where are you going?"

"I need to talk to Harry. Give him a rundown and see what he's gonna do."

"Don't go back to that house."

"Not planning on it."

"I mean it Cook. I told you yesterday." He glanced at her.

"I wrote what you asked. It's on the desk. I don't plan on going back there. But I need to close things with Harry. Officially. Understand?" She nodded. He moved to her and gave her a kiss. "I'll be back."

"In one piece."

"Yes, ma'am." He gave her another kiss and a wiggle of his eyebrows then headed out. Effy moved to her computer and found the paper. She turned on her systems and got to work.

..

"I uh... I don't live here." Naomi was trying to find words but it was difficult as her thoughts pinballed their way inside her head. "My place... it'll be ready either today or tomorrow. If you wanted to like stay there... but I don't have a spare room either. Just a couch. Not even a pullout. I'm sure Effy wouldn't mind the company... if you stayed here."

"Is Cook staying here?" The question made Naomi frown.

"I don't know. I don't think he'd be right welcome with..." She stopped herself from saying their names. Like it was calling out evil and it appearing. "He lives there... but if he doesn't you know go back then he needs to stay somewhere. Don't think Effy minds him being here." Naomi took a breath. "I mean.. both of you can stay here... Effy would be ok with that. Package deal and all."

"Package deal?" Emily was confused momentarily.

"You know... if you fancy him and shit. It's probably normal.. all the time you spent together. You like him. He likes you. That's a given." She thought to the pictures of Emily and the males, wondered if she looked different when fucking Cook. Naomi kicked herself for the mental image. "Like I said, I'm not going anywhere no matter what."

"I see." She was frowning. Did Naomi really think Emily wanted Cook? _Don't you?_ She knew the real answer was complicated. She cared for him, deeply. She hadn't minded the sex. It wasn't bad. He was always eager to make her orgasm and gentle. He was better than she'd been used to by men. He also comforted her. That was what she didn't want to lose. "What if... what if I wanted to stay with you? Is that ok?"

..

"Babes..." Katie walked into the den as Luke was talking to a couple of the boys. He looked up and smiled then frowned. She looked worried.

"What's the matter?" He dismissed the boys and went to her.

"Laura sent me a text saying she wanted to talk and then another saying she'd texted the wrong person. Which fine, cause she's not the brightest in the bunch and whatevs... anyway, that was last night when I forgot my phone after we... yeah yeah.." He was smiling and grabbing at her. "Anyways, I messaged right, asked her to brunch."

"Ok." He was kissing her neck and listening. She was a bit worked up about something and in his mind that meant dirtier things.

"So that was like three hours ago." He looked at her and waited for whatever was coming. "Babes... her knickers damn near drench any time I give her the time of day let alone invite her over. But...She never replied to my text." He frowned.

"You tried phoning her directly?"

"Gee why didn't I think of that?" She put her hands on her waist. "Of course I did. And nothing. Tried that land line she insists on and still zero." She bit her lip. "Can you send a couple of boys over? I know maybe I'm overreacting and maybe she's got my sister doing god knows what, not that I want to think about it and I don't want to go over and see it... but I want to make sure you know..."

 _That our brood mare is still alive, well and within reach?_ "Yeah I can have a couple boys go. Still don't want Cook anywhere near Laura right?" He was picking up his mobile.

"Nowhere near thank you. Bad enough you don't exactly trust him, last thing I need is for... yeah no." She thought about it. "Not that I've seen him since..." Luke stared at her and thought about it.

"Since he left for the warehouse yesterday." He shook his head. "That fucking twat..." He tried Cook's phone but it went to voice mail. "Shit. Fuck it. I'm going directly instead of sending the boys."

..

Cook was sitting on the park bench, his leg bouncing up and down. He was down to his last cigarette and losing his patience. He'd reached to Harry who had texted back, telling him where to go. He wanted to go on record with the last bit of information he had. Then he would turn in his badge. While he liked the idea of being someone who helped people, he knew he couldn't do it right now. Maybe in some future, he could work with police once more.

"Cook." Harry was about two meters away when he spoke.

"Fucking took you long enough." He stood, dropped the fag to the ground and stomped it out. "Been sitting his with my dick in my hand waiting for someone to come and..." Cook looked around and saw there were two men flanking Harry. He turned and there were two others behind him. He went for the gun in his waistband when he felt a hand take his wrist.

"Don't be stupid Cook. We're not here to hurt you. We just need you to come with us quietly." He was tense as Harry spoke softly. A cold sweat covered him.

"Where?"

"Headquarters." Cook let out a breath. For a moment he thought he'd been betrayed and being handed over to Luke. He let go of the gun and slowly brought his hands up. The gun was removed and he was frisked quickly. Then the cuffs were placed on his wrists. "Sorry mate. We need to get a few things ironed out. Until then, you'll be in custody."

..

Naomi had extricated herself from the bedroom, only to be followed out by Emily. Not that she minded. But she was overcome with mixed emotions and thoughts. She did want her with her. That she had no doubt about but she was torn on how it would affect Emily. Would going from one bed to another be good for her? Would she become dependent? Not figure out what it was she actually wanted out of her life? The blonde stopped short as she reached Effy's computer station.

"Effy!" She yelled without really meaning to. Emily said a simple oh and stopped moving. The brunette was lost in thought at the computer. The towel she'd had wrapped around her freshly showered body was loose around her waist.

"Naoms. Could you make some tea? I don't think I want any more coffee right now." Effy kept typing away.

"Eff. You're... naked." The woman looked down at herself but didn't even cover up. She wasn't shy and it wasn't as if Naomi hadn't seen her naked before. "Effy."

"What?!" She turned around and looked at her friends. She had a scared look in her eyes.

"Hey... what's the matter?" Emily looked around. "Where's Cook?"

"He went to see his handler." Effy stared at Naomi. "I need to finish this... please. I need to before he..." She turned back to the computer and stopped talking.

"I'll get a shirt from the room. Make her tea will you?" Emily spoke as the blonde nodded.

..

Luke had been forced to take Katie with him. While the possibility existed that he could have left and asked for forgiveness later for leaving her behind, he knew the opposite possibility was she would exact a vicious punishment when he returned. They had arrived at the flat and knocked on the door. No answer. He broke in and they found the place spotless. There was no sign of either Laura or Emily. Katie was too quiet. He tried Cook again and left him a voice mail.

The more they went through the place, the worse he felt. He could feel the rage coming off Katie. There were no clothes, no personal items anywhere. The small office she had been in months back was now completely empty. "Babes." He'd spoken when she'd stopped moving by the window staring out. "Katie babes."

"I trusted the bitch. She was always so fucking willing to kiss my arse... I trusted her." She took a breath. "Right." She faced him. "Find her."

"Emily?"

"Her too. But find Laura. I want her alive." She met his eyes. "The businesses are set up already. We can launder the money with a new designer.. no need to include them in the mix. But I want her alive. Am I clear babe?" He nodded and while he wanted to smile, he didn't.

"I'll find her. And I'll find Emily." She didn't bother saying anything else and walked out of the flat.

..

Cook was in a small interrogation room. He'd been processed to an extent. They'd taken everything from him and given him a set of blue paper overalls. He knew someone was raking him over the coals. They hadn't collected his clothes for evidence which was the only reason to strip him. He'd known how many rules he'd broken and how many people he'd shit on by walking away from everything. He sat on the cold chair and wondered if they'd turned up the air conditioning on purpose. He didn't know how long he'd been there but it felt a while. The door to the room finally opened but his handler didn't walk through it. Two other people did. He sat up.

"James... I'm Inspector Goddard and this is Deputy Inspector Bird. Please note that you have the right to a solicitor at any time during this conversation. Also please note that we are recording this and it may be used in court." They sat down as he looked at them. He took a seat. "Do you have any questions before we start?" He looked at them and shook his head. He sat with his arms crossed.

"No questions. But I want Harry here. Otherwise, I ain't talking."

..

"Fuck!" Effy yelled at the computer. Naomi and Emily had been watching her a while now. She'd taken the shirt that Emily had brought her and drank the tea but she'd been utterly focused on the information in front of her. "I can't find it. I can't fucking find it...He's going to..." She threw the empty mug against the wall and started sobbing. Naomi jumped and went to her.

"Hey... what's going on Eff? What are you trying to do? Maybe there's something I can do?" She put her hands on Effy's shoulders and tried getting her to focus. She hadn't seen her like this in ages. Not since her brother had his accident. It had been a scary time but she'd come through it as had him. "Tell me."

"Cook.. he was going to talk to his handler... and he... he did stuff that could get him in trouble.. and I wanted to take care of it." She was biting her finger, almost gnawing at it. Naomi knew she was getting worked up. "But I can't find it. What he did. I can't find it in the system. I thought I had it... I started looking and saw bits of it but then nothing. Absolutely nothing... and if it's there... if it's there, he's not... and I can't... I can't..." Naomi took her in her arms and hugged her tightly.

"Shh... We'll sort it. Ok?" She didn't want to look at Emily. She didn't want to see fear in her eyes over Cook. She knew she needed to work on her own jealousy but now wasn't the time. Now she needed to get Effy calmed down enough to not have her leaping at shadows. "Emily... go into the loo. In the cabinet, there's a bottle of diazepam. Be a luv and get it for me with a glass of water?" She looked at Effy. "It's going to be ok."

..

It had taken the better part of an hour for the pill to take effect. Naomi calmed her as best she could with Emily looking on. Whatever Effy had been set on doing for Cook hadn't worked. That was the gist of it. She didn't know the details or rather she couldn't follow what she'd been saying as it was a mix of English and computer jargon that she didn't bother trying to understand. When she was calm enough, Naomi led her to the bedroom and tucked her in. She watched her as she fell into some kind of sleep and hoped she would actually rest. It took a toll for her to always be the strong one even if Effy herself never complained. She kissed her forehead and went back to the kitchen.

Emily was sitting in a chair looking at the wall. Names and events tacked up, connected by string to other seemingly random things. Her name was up on that wall. Surprisingly it was only connected to other names. There wasn't a laundry list of crimes, actions or traits under it. She didn't know whether to feel relieved or sad. She imagined someone else in her shoes would have used their position to amass wealth, power, notoriety. She looked at Laura's name. She'd been shown a path littered with money, prestige, glamour and she'd taken it without a second thought. She shuddered at the thoughts running through her head. She'd been used. It wasn't news but it was still hard to think about.

"Hey." Naomi's voice cut through her thoughts. She turned and looked at her. It was still weird to be here, to know it wasn't a dream to be taken away.

"How is she?"

"Asleep. She'll be ok. She can get overwhelmed." She stood behind Emily and ran her long fingers through her hair. Naomi knew how much it took for Effy to let go and it hurt that she hadn't seen it coming. "Are you hungry?"

"A little."

"I can make you eggs... or..."

"Did Effy come up with all of this?" Emily waved at the wall. The blonde nodded. "She's smart." There was another nod and a smile. "I want to stay with you, Naomi." The declaration wasn't out of the blue. It was an assertion over what they'd talked about earlier.

"You can." She said and leaned in to place the gentlest kiss on Emily's lips. "There's... you have been through a lot." Emily nodded. "And you'll need... help. Sometimes I won't be there. Not cause I don't want to... but because I won't know how to." There was a glimmer of doubt in Emily's eyes but she gave a smile and a nod. "Ok..." They kissed again slowly. Each of them understanding there might never be a need to rush anything ever again.

..

Katie screamed and threw things. Luke was glad he didn't care about the money because she was breaking a lot of expensive ornamental vases and such. He sat at the dining room table waiting for her to tire. It had been almost three days since they'd heard from Laura, Emily or Cook. The wheels had continued turning and it was almost set in stone that that three were in this together. That they had concocted some plan to live happily ever after somewhere. That thought had pissed Luke off and was continuously sending Katie into fits of rage. For the first time in their lives together, he was truly afraid she would rip him to shreds while fucking.

"Babes... it's not"

"Not what!" She turned to him and he would swear she was Medusa incarnate. He found himself hardening. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling at what turned him on. Too many knives around for him to smile and not end up with stitches.

"You're tea will get cold."

"Luke darling... do I give a fuck about my tea?" She was glaring at him. If she wanted to kill him at any point, this would be it. Why did he enjoy this so much?

"Not bloody likely but I can't really say much that won't piss you off." Luke put the paper he'd been pretending to read down after folding it neatly. "I haven't given up. But it's like the earth swallowed the three of them. I've put out a _lot_ of money and no one... I mean not a single person can find trace of them leaving the city much less the country. We found Laura's car abandoned. And Cook seems to have walked off without a car. But I haven't given up." She growled and took a seat next to him at the table.

"I've never felt the need to literally flay someone... But Laura is well on her way to getting me there." She picked up her cup and tasted her tea. "It _is_ fucking cold." Just then Luke grabbed the paper and focused on a small blurb. He cursed under his breath and fumbled for his mobile. Katie noticed the abruptness and grabbed the paper from him. _Female body found near Harptree Combe Aqueduct_.

"Fuck."


	25. Chapter 24

Another chapter... there are 9 left after this approximately... this one is a little tense but not as dark as others...

Thank you to marsupial who keeps teasing me with her next chapter...love ya

Thank you to my lovely and exceptional reviewers tigertrap, dammitnaomily, Andy34 and last but certainly not least, mynameislizzie2 who has kept me on my toes well done

disclaimer: I own nothing but the storyline and my thoughts... also if you choose to get married, for the love of the universe learn about your partner BEFORE you do. Soo happy to be single... so very fucking happy... (random shag offers very much entertained but no marriage proposals)

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Chapter 24

Effy was sitting on her couch. She'd had enough rest. They'd had no word from Cook and she feared the worst. The first 36 hours there was no sign of him anywhere. But then his name appeared in one of the unpublished police rosters of detainees. She had almost panicked, thinking he was being charged and she'd failed. Further research showed her he wasn't technically under arrest. She had taken that as a good sign. She set about deeper searches for any and all evidence of what he might have done while undercover but was coming up with nothing. She couldn't understand it. Not at all.

Emily emerged from the bedroom. Naomi's flat had been repaired and ready for her but neither had wanted to leave Effy alone. Not until Cook was back. "Hi." She smiled at the brunette who smiled back. "Did you eat?" It felt odd to Emily to be taking care of someone else. But it felt good. It was occupying her mind and keeping it off her own fears for Cook. She shook her head.

"Not yet. I was thinking maybe we could go out. Grab something at the cafe down the street." Neither had wanted to leave the flat. Naomi had to because of work which is where she was currently. "Fresh air will do us some good. We can maybe go shopping? There are a couple of little places that I think you might like."

"Think it's a good idea? Going out there? I mean we don't know..."

"We can't live in hiding."

"You sure?" She was joking but underneath it all she was terrified. She didn't know if her sister was looking for her or not. Who are you kidding? You know she's looking for you. You might be here but you will never be free of her.

..

"I don't know why I pay the cops. I swear..." Luke was trying to remain calm. He'd made calls to the various people on his payroll but no one could give him the identity of the dead woman.

"Nothing?" Katie was trying not to think about it. She knew it might not be either Emily or Laura. She knew it could be some random who met up with a horrible end. But there was a nagging pain in the pit of her stomach. She thought about losing Emily. Could she handle that? It would be a piece of her torn away. _You've been killing her slowly all these years. Why would losing her this way matter? You can live without her. You learned to live without your parents. Without James._ She closed her eyes. She hadn't spoken to her younger brother in years. Once Luke was in her life, she'd removed herself from his life. It wasn't like she didn't love him. But she'd made the decision to create a new life. She wasn't unaware of what it would be like. She'd chosen it. She'd chosen it for Emily as well. _It would matter because I didn't do it. Because I didn't control her future in the end. I can't have that._

"She apparently had no identification, hence they can't confirm who she is. All I've gotten is approximate age range of mid 20s to early 30s. Her hair is lighter than Emily's from the description. But that doesn't mean much."

"How tall?" She stared at him.

"What?"

"How fucking tall was she Luke?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. He hadn't thought to ask.

..

He was sitting in another interrogation room for what seemed like the tenth time in days. He'd counted it close to 72 hours in custody. They had another 24 before he needed to be charged with anything. The closer it got to that the easier he tried to breathe. He'd said fuck all the entire time. No one could produce Harry. They said he couldn't be found. He'd been treated alright. Mostly. He'd been fed but at odd times. He'd missed some meals. Lost sleep. He was one of them but they were treating him as much a suspect as they could. The door opened and one of the inspectors from earlier walked in. He had a styrofoam cup.

Cook scratched at his three day scruff. He had been allowed a shower the day before but was still wearing the damn blue jumpsuit. "Don't s'pose that's for me right? Cause I could do with a little caffeine." The inspector sat and drank from the cup. "Guess not." He knew he should be scared but they couldn't do anything he hadn't already anticipated. If they charged him with murder, it wouldn't be entirely unjust. He knew Emily was safe. That alone gave him comfort. The thought of Effy made him ache. He hadn't lied to her. He didn't go back to the house. But she would imagine him lost and that hurt.

The door opened again and Harry walked in.

..

Naomi was filling out paperwork on a bench outside reserved for smokers as her partner was putting their rig back in order. She didn't see the man until he was next to her. She looked up and frowned, the sun making it difficult to see his face clearly. "Can I help you?" He wasn't dressed in medical garb but there was something familiar about him.

"Hello Naomi." She blinked and shielded her eyes.

"I know you... you're one of Laura's mates." Immediately, she was alert. She went to stand and he put a heavy hand on her shoulder.

"Relax. I'm not here on her behalf." If looks could kill, he was certain they'd be putting a tag on his toe. "How's Emily?" There was sudden shock, fear passing through her features but then they steeled. Her hand moved to his and she tried to remove it from her shoulder. He gripped harder. "Please don't. I don't want to cause a scene, nor do I want to cause you pain. But I've no qualms about it. It's been a.. difficult week for me."

"Fuck you." She spat out, trying to remember when and how she'd met him. It was some sort of party. She was drinking and ignoring almost everything her ex had been saying. But his smile. She remembered that. The grip on her shoulder was hurting. She clenched her jaw. "What do you know about Emily?"

"I know her sister and the boyfriend trade her like you would stocks." She cringed at his matter of fact tone. "I know Laura, your ex, fucked her for a while. She was her little pet." He could feel the energy coming off Naomi. She closed her eyes. Some would wonder if he meant to be so detached. It was his nature. No need to pretend things that weren't. "I know she was whisked away by two people who seemed to give a shit. I'm guessing you know who they are." He let go of her shoulder and took a seat next to her. "I want to know she's.. ok... all things considering."

"Why?" She was glaring at him, not giving in to the urge to rub her shoulder. Not giving in to the urge to rail at him. The way he spoke about Laura, about Emily. It hurt and she didn't know why. She looked at the rig and Shaughnessy was listening to some bloody podcast and paying her no mind. When this guy had mentioned the two people, she recalled what Effy had told her.

He looked at her. "Because I'm vested in her recovery to a degree."

"Vested? Jesus... who the fuck do you think you are? You come here acting the prick and demanding to know about her while you not so subtly threaten me? And you want me to believe you give a shit?" She shook her head. "Do better."

"I don't give a shit what you believe. I answered your question. Now, tell me how she is." He thought about adding a please but it wasn't heartfelt.

She didn't know what to think. "She's ok. Staying out of sight." She didn't want to say more than she had to.

"That's good." He gave her another once over. "Give her a message." He slipped his hand into a pocket and brought out a business card. He slid it to her on the table. She looked at it. It had the name of some company.

"What the fuck is that?"

"A business card." She glared at him and he smiled. "A therapist, or rather, a unique group of them. Thought she could use the help."

"From you?"

"From someone."

"I don't buy it." He laughed. Yeah she remembered him at that party. He was usually surrounded with people. They all clung to him. Laura included. "Who the fuck are you?"

..

Emily and Effy had managed to leave the flat and enjoy a bit of fresh air, coffee and pastries. They also managed to hit a couple of boutiques and get Emily some clothes. She couldn't explain the sense of freedom she felt. She hadn't spent time with someone her own age doing something as simple as shopping in ages. The first hour out she had looked over her shoulder and was wary of anyone even remotely looking like someone who could work for Luke. But surprisingly, Effy made it feel normal to be out and about. She was feeling so at ease that she asked to stop at a little market they were passing to buy things for a home cooked meal. The smile on her face was damn near innocent.

When they came back in, Effy immediately went to the computer and checked on Cook's status. She was still worried but something as simple as seeing his name pop up without charges next to it was calming. She continued to do searches based on the information he'd left her and the original files she'd pulled up. She found some of the original ones she'd printed for Naomi when they'd first found Emily but they weren't the same. They were missing information. She printed them out to compare.

Emily was in the kitchen, cutting vegetables and preparing a sauce. She hadn't cooked in too long. Never really asked to. She felt like everything had been a bad dream. A quick check of the time and she knew Naomi wouldn't be home for another two hours.

..

Cook stared at Harry as he sat down. They didn't greet each other. Goddard sat there with a constipated look on his face. It went on for only a few minutes but enough to put everyone a bit on edge. Then Harry started speaking.

"Let the record show that Inspector Goddard and Inspector Wilbur are in attendance to the questioning of Officer James Cook on this the..." Harry looked at his phone and called out the date and time. "This questioning is to corroborate information previously reported to myself, Inspector Wilbur, as a means to enter the information into record." Cook crossed his arms and said nothing. When he'd submitted his reports or had verbal debriefs, it had all been entered into record. "Officer Cook please be advised that the documents I am presenting to you are for your review and signature. They summarize events for the past two years as related to me by you during your ongoing investigation into one Luke Martin, file no. 56A13. The original notes and recordings were, unfortunately, lost due to improper handling."

He passed over what looked to be a 50 page document. Cook took it and glanced at it. "Improper handling?"

"Yes. Due to hubris on my behalf. I was under the impression that certain enforcement agencies might be compromised and opted to maintain those files. Once the investigation moved to London, I wanted to have all those internally involved vetted prior to risking your undercover status. I deemed those items secure in the boot of my car. Unfortunately, my vehicle was stolen two weeks ago and had not been recovered." Cook looked at him like he was mental. He looked at the papers in front of him and knew he needed to read them. The implications that his reports had been lost before they were put into the system meant he might skate on some things. He didn't want to hope and he didn't know what to think of Harry. He was the one who told Effy about Cook possibly being in trouble but here he was without the reports proving it.

"Alright." He set about reading.

..

"An interested party." Jameson could have given his name. He was sure she could find it out from Emily or one of the others but no one had shared and he didn't know if it was oversight or not.

"Interested how?"

"In her. Her well-being."

"Bullshit."

"You aren't very trusting."

"Really? What gave it away?"

"Just give her the card. She can call them or not. It's up to her. They are... open-minded and can handle difficult circumstances." He decided that was as kind as he could say it. "My number is on the back. Have her call me."

"No." She pushed the card away.

"She can decide for herself can't she?" He could admire the streak of protectiveness she was exhibiting. He had that for someone a long time ago.

"She can but why would I expose her to you?"

"Cause I need to speak to her about her sister." Naomi reached out and grabbed him by his shirt. His hand grabbed her wrist. "I need to know if she wants her alive or dead. If she doesn't call me, and I decide for myself, I'll make sure she knows you took the decision away from her." He pulled her hand away and stood. He pulled out a folded piece of newspaper. "Laura is dead." He walked away after dropping the paper in front of her and she sat there in shock.

..

Cook stood outside the building in his clothes. Gone was the stupid jumpsuit. Also his badge and his weapon. While they hadn't insisted on it, he didn't have it in him to remain with the force. Not presently. He smoked and waited for Harry to appear. He was on edge. He'd read over the papers, twice. A lot of what he'd reported had been there in perfect order. But there were a few glaring omissions. Some he recognized before he signed and initialed every page, as did Harry and Goddard. Some he didn't until after.

 _"So is that it? This why I been cooped up here under lock and key?" He pushed the last page towards them. He'd read it and there was zero mention of the criminal acts he'd actually committed. He hadn't looked at Harry until now. He hadn't wanted the surprise to come across._

 _Goddard tucked the papers into a larger file. "For the most part. We do have some follow-up questions regarding Ms. Katie Fitch and Ms. Emily Fitch and their involvement in the drug trafficking." He turned to face the man._

 _"Katie and Luke ran everything. Emily... she had no part in it. She was forced..."_

 _"Officer Cook, if I may... you did not clarify that in your statement." He patted the folder. "Both the Fitch sisters were named in the report as being involved..."_

 _"Nahh..." He was shaking his head. "It was only Katie. Her and Luke... Emily was there but they fucking forced Emily to..."_

 _"Cook." Goddard spoke again. "Nowhere does it appear that there was coercion in your statement." He froze. His gaze turned to Harry who was giving him a look and shaking his head._

 _"Fuck that. I told him. I fucking told him."_

 _"Cook. If that were the case, why didn't you say something before you signed your report?" He understood what he'd done by not realizing the omissions sooner._

 _"I didn't..." He was lost in his head. "I didn't notice it wasn't..."_

 _"I need answers Cook." He had taken out his notebook and began marking it up. "Were both Ms. Katie Fitch and Ms. Emily Fitch aware of the drug trafficking? Please answer yes or no."_

Harry came out of the building and Cook damn near slammed him into the side of it once he reached him.

"What the fuck is going on?"

..

Naomi walked in the front door to find Effy on the couch. The flat smelled like home in a way. "You cooked?"

"Emily. We went out and she was overtaken with the need for domesticity." She was reading over papers.

"Where is she?"

"Shower. She bought a couple of things in town. You might appreciate it." She looked up to see the frown on her friend's face.

"Right." She set her bag down and hung her jacket up. "I need to talk to you..."

..

"Fucking prick! Fucking no good son of a..." The desk went flying as Luke flipped it in anger. The phone he'd been on was in pieces against the wall. The noise brought a couple of boys around but they disappeared as quick as they came around. It took Katie longer to show up but she had a look on her face that left little to be argued about. By that moment, Luke was already drinking a tumbler full of scotch.

"I take it there's news?"

"You might say..." He finished his glass and poured another. "Seems Cook is... was... working for the Crown." She blinked and took a seat in one of the only two seats not knocked about. "He's been under this whole time."

"I see... why isn't the... why aren't we answering questions?" She was calm which frightened him.

"Because I pay a lot of money to the police... Or rather we do..."

"You said was... He was working... He's not now?"

"Not as of an hour ago."

"Good. Can he disappear?"

"Working on it."

"And Emily?"

"There's no sighting. But..." He hesitated and wiped at his mouth. "It's possible we can find her."

"Good." She met his eyes. "Find her. Kill hi..." She stopped herself. "Did he help her escape?" Luke nodded. While he didn't have exact proof, he'd put things together given the information he'd received. "Find her and him. Bring them both here. Alive. She can watch what happens when she thinks she can run away."


	26. Chapter 25

Another chapter... every other day seems to be working well for me... no longer losing sleep... lol

marsupial - LMAO love ya babes... thanks for reviewing the chapters in one night...

Thank you to dammitnaomily, tigertrap and mynameislizzie2 for their kind reviews. It is most appreciated.

warning: (i know we hate when I write that word) a little darkness surfacing in the next few chapters.. take a deep breath. If you've made it this far, you will be fine. there will be a couple of chapters with warnings.. then smoother writing.. but the story has to develop organically. It's not the magical kingdom and I can't wave a wand over the bad stuff.

8 more chapters after this...

disclaimer: own nothing but my thoughts, the storyline, my OCs...

* * *

Chapter 25

Cook and Harry had moved from the front of the building to a side alley. While not much more private, it was a step up from being in full view of everyone going in and out. He'd calmed only long enough to get there but then threw a punch. Thankfully, for Harry, he didn't connect. He was sidestepped and then distance was put between them.

"Calm the fuck down."

"Calm... you fucking bastard! You hung her out to dry again!"

"I saved your arse is what I did."

"Saved...

"You're welcome."

"Fuck you! You piece of shit." He was spitting his words. "They're looking to hang her. They're gonna pick 'er up with the lot of them. They're gonna make it seem like she was in on it!"

"They have no proof." Harry knew this reaction was possible and probable. But he'd gotten little choice, "Settle down..."

"Settle... I'm gonna settle my foot right up your arse." He swung again and found himself pinned against the wall. Harry was surprisingly spry for being older.

"Cook... stop this. You fucked it mate." He shoved hard against him, trying to break his anger up. "You should've come out two fuckin years ago. You were too close then and you're too close now..." Cook tried pushing back and found himself receiving a couple of swift hits to his right kidney and a knock to the head. "Listen up boy... you fucked it with everyone... especially Luke."

..

Naomi and Effy were sitting on the couch when Emily came in. She'd towel dried her hair and was wearing a jumper and sweats – her own. "Hi." She was all smiles until she saw the look pass between the girls. "What? What is it? Is it Cook?" Effy shook her head. Naomi wasn't meeting her eyes as she walked to them. "Then what?" Her heart was already beating faster.

"Naomi had a run-in with that guy Jameson." She felt her blood run ice cold when Effy said the name.

"Oh?"

"Uh yeah... he.. found me at work..." She thought about that the entire way to the flat. How easy it had been for this prick to find her. She had imagined that it was too easy, that Emily wouldn't be safe with her. "He uh... he gave me this card." She handed it over with a shaky hand. "Said it was a therapy group who could help." Emily smiled a little relieved.

"Is that it? That's..." She looked at them and then at the card. "What else?" Naomi made a motion for her to turn the card over. She did and saw a phone number. She took a breath. "His?"

"Yeah... he wanted you to call him." She looked at Effy and tried to not say anymore but earned a disapproving stare. "He wanted to talk about Katie."

..

He felt the brick cutting into his cheek and thought about what Harry had just said. He'd mentioned Luke. His mind was all over the place. "You with him? Are you with that fuck?" He tried pushing off the wall and got a few more hits to his kidney. Harder this time.

"Stop. I don't want to do this."

"So you are with him..."

"You're a fuckin idiot. You were supposed to get some dirt and get the fuck out. You weren't supposed to get in with her." He was struggling, getting angrier. It was a surprise when the pressure on his back was gone. He stumbled a second and turned already swinging his fist. It missed by a mile but the baton hit his arm directly. He barely groaned and grabbed at it when he was hit upside the head. He dropped to his knees and a few more swings to his back and he was on the ground. "Stay down you git. I don't want to kill you."

Cook didn't listen and tried getting on all fours. A kick to his ribs and another hit to his back. It felt like something broke. Harry was taking no chances. He delivered a few more kicks and then dragged Cook behind a dumpster. No one was looking but he wanted to avoid conflict. He hovered over him. "You are the biggest fuckin idiot I've ever met. You know that? You were supposed to do a shit job... You didn't. You weren't supposed to give 'er the time of day. And what did you do? You fell for 'er."

He coughed and tried to turn over. Another few hits stopped any movement save for breathing and staring at Harry's shoes. "He wanted you to fuck her and hurt her. He didn't care if it was physically... emotionally... He needed you to make sure she was out of everything for good." Harry was keeping his voice down. "You shouldn't have been nice to her. If you'd done what he'd said, she'd be free you dumb fuck. He didn't want her there anymore." He delivered another kick. "But you had to be _that_ fucking guy. Well now... now they're going to either get her back... or she's going to get nicked cause of you." Cook doesn't hear anything after that.

..

Emily was staring at Effy's phone. She'd borrowed it with the intent to call Jameson. She'd gone into the bedroom first but her stomach was in knots and decided the loo was likely a better choice. The girls had given her privacy. She wanted to include them but didn't know what the phone call entailed. What Naomi had said had left her cold. She finally dialed the number. It barely rang before he picked up. "Yes?"

"Jameson."

"Hello, Emily." There was a pause and she heard something in the background. "I see the blonde delivered my message."

"She did." She felt stronger at being able to say even the smallest phrase. "She said you wanted to talk."

"I do." There was another pause. "How are you?"

"I'm... ok." She was trying to focus on his voice, the small moments they'd been in each other's company. He had only been nice to her. She recalled how he'd kept _her_ from touching Emily. "Laura... she's..."

"She is." He wasn't exactly a chatterbox. "Is that an issue?" She blinked. She couldn't say anything. She didn't know how to answer that. "Regardless, it's done. You'll call the therapists?"

"Jameson... I don't... I can't." Emily was sitting on the edge of the tub as she spoke. She could hear rustling in the background on his end but not much else. She didn't want to refuse help. She was aware that there might be things she needed to sort out but she'd not given herself enough thought. "It's out of my budget."

"It's taken care of."

"Why?"

"Not the right question." She didn't have enough time to figure out the right one before he spoke. "Your sister."

"Jameson..."

..

"This is bullshit."

"Naoms... she has..."

"Has to what? Call a fucking psycho for shits and giggles?"

"I'm sure he's doing neither of those."

"Effy..."

"Naomi..." She understood the underlying emotion but there were things that Naomi couldn't stop by sheer will and desire. She didn't think this guy Jameson, for whatever reason, would hurt Emily,

"He killed Laura." Effy shrugged her shoulders. For some reason, she couldn't be arsed to care about her. "What if..."

"He won't. If he wanted Emily dead, he could have done all of us."

"You're not helping."

"It's a phone call. Not a date."

"Fine." She huffed. "How are you feeling?" There was another shrug. "Eff..."

"I'm ok. I had a moment. They're fewer." She hugged herself.

"They are." Naomi reached out and touched her arm.

..

"Make a choice Emily."

"Please don't... I don't want to... it's not for me or you to..."

"Emily. Something is going to happen no matter whether you choose or not. I haven't a choice."

"There's always a choice."

"I'm taking over Luke's London outfit. He can't be breathing when I do." She heard jingling and found it distracting. "Do you understand?" She nodded and put a hand to her head. She couldn't fathom what kind of power he had if he could be this calm when announcing his plans. She felt dizzy. Was this real? Was it more than she could handle? "Emily. I need an answer." Her voice was missing. She made a strangled sound and got on her knees. She didn't care about Luke. Not a bit. He could die and she wouldn't even skip a breath. But she was being asked about her sister. She cleared her throat.

"Jameson... please... this is.. I've never..." Her chest felt like something was sitting on it. "Why are you asking..."

"She's the reason you need therapy."

"Still... I can't..."

"Do you want me to choose?"

"NO!" She screamed it and there were footsteps racing to the loo. She closed her eyes as the girls knocked on the door.

"Emily!" Naomi's voice came through the door.

"I'm alright... it's ok, it's ok.." She managed to cry out. She was surprised as tears fell from her eyes. "It's ok... I'll be right out." The knocking stopped but they hadn't moved from the closed door. She couldn't breathe.

"Emily. If you don't want me to choose..."

"Alive. I want her alive. Please, Jameson."

"Huh..." He wasn't as surprised as he'd thought. "I'll make sure she's alive then."

"Don't..." She sobbed. "Don't hurt her."

..

Cook was hurting. His head was pounding and he could feel every bruise on his body. His shirt was split down the middle. He remembered it was Harry who beat him. He went to sit up and found himself unable to. Opening his eyes, he saw he was restrained to a cot. "What the..." He looked around. He started to panic as he recognized the room. "Ahh, fuck..." He pulled at the restraints.

"I wouldn't do that mate." He heard his voice and felt that panic settle deep into his spine. "You know... I'm not happy Cook. Not at all." Luke was hovering over him now, blocking the overhead light. "What do you think happens now?"

"Fuck you." He knew full well what happened in this room. There was nothing fancy about it. Concrete floors, minimal lighting and a drain.

"You're not my type." He reached down and chose one spot on Cook's ribs and pressed down. He screamed. Luke laughed and stopped pressing. "So I'll make this easy. I want Emily. Well... I don't. But Katie... you know Katie. She needs her little pet. And what makes _her_ happy, makes _me_ happy." Cook shook his head. Luke pressed down again. There was another scream even through a clenched jaw. "I have zero problems breaking every fucking bone in your body. Every _one_ until you tell me. Then I'll carve you like a Christmas goose if that doesn't work." He was smiling and it actually scared Cook.

"I don't..."

"Save it. Don't bother lying." He couldn't fault Cook for wanting Emily, for falling for her, for wanting to be everything to her. He understood that. Didn't he have the same issue with Katie? She was his reason for breathing most days.

"Where's Harry? How long he been in your pocket?" He let himself feel angry, pushing through the pain. Knowing he'd been betrayed from likely the beginning. Knowing he needed to stall. He didn't know how much he could actually take before saying the wrong thing. "Must have gotten a nice paycheck to turn me in."

"Harry? He's been in for oh.. about four years maybe more... Good man. Offered him ten grand. That's how much you were worth. Didn't even try to haggle. Brought you right in. Stupid fuck" There was that smile again. "He's in the corner over there." Cook strained to look but he couldn't see. "Ahh don't worry about him. He's in a better place." He leaned down. "I'm cleaning up. Getting rid of the garbage."

"That includes me..."

"That includes you... but I can make it easy or fucking brutal. I'm hoping you go for brutal personally." He grabbed Cook's face. "I'll find Emily. Sooner or later. The longer it takes, the more you'll suffer. The more I will make sure _she_ suffers. Eventually, Katie will see she's better off without her pet." Cook pulled at his restraints and raged. The idea that Emily would suffer cut through everything he was. Luke let go of his face and slugged his ribs again. Cook screamed and ended up in a coughing fit. "You have ten minutes to think about it. And you get that much cause I'm going to change clothes. No need to ruin this suit."

..

Jameson had said he wouldn't hurt her then he'd ended the phone call. She'd sat a moment longer on the floor before finally wiping at her eyes and opening the door. Naomi and Effy still stood there. She gave them a half smile.

"Well..." Emily shook her head. How could she say it all? How could she admit what she'd done or not done? She was wrapping her head around the conversation. Had she asked for her sister's life, essentially forgiving her actions? She wanted to put her arms around Naomi. She wanted to hide in her. But she couldn't. Instead, she handed over Effy's phone and walked past the girls and took a seat on the couch. She was practically curled into herself. "Ems..." Naomi was by her side, crouching next to the couch.

"I don't want to talk about it. Not now." She leaned her head on the back of the couch and closed her eyes.

"Alright..." Naomi didn't know what to do or say. The anger and guilt she was feeling at having brought the message. She didn't want to give it to Emily, but Effy convinced her. It wasn't the wrong choice. Hiding it from her could have been equally disastrous. And she needed to know if she wanted Emily to be her own person as Effy pointed out. She needed to make decisions, tough or otherwise.

"I don't imagine you want food." Effy spoke and neither of the other girls replied. She wandered into the kitchen and stood by the counter. She wanted to give them some privacy. She remembered Jameson all too well from their brief encounter and didn't think anything he wanted would be good. But Emily would need therapy and if somehow he was able to see it, offer it, it wasn't something they could shrug away. She looked towards the wall where she'd laid everything out. _Where is Cook?_ Was she missing something? Had she gotten things wrong? She went to her computer and refreshed the internal police logs she'd hacked into. She sighed in relief when she saw he'd been released.

..

Katie was in the kitchen having a glass of wine. She'd gone through the items in Cook's pockets and found nothing of use, nothing that screamed out where Emily might be. She had plugged in his mobile to charge as it had apparently lost all juice while he was being held. She was hoping it had something for them. Luke walked in wearing a t-shirt and jeans. She smiled at him. "Our guest is being treated well?" He opened the fridge and took out a juice.

"Guest?" He looked at her, the lightbulb flashing in his head. "Well, Cook is waiting for me. He's less excited than I am frankly." He drank from his juice. "And the other guy, yeah... I need to have him moved out of the cellar. It's cool enough down there but no need to wait until it's a hazard or he starts to smell." He took another swig of his juice. "I mean.. he wouldn't smell for a couple of days anyway but still."

"Did you make a mess?" She asked him knowing he sometimes got carried away and forgot the smaller details. Not that she could talk sometimes.

"No. Used a cord. Strangled him. No mess. But he's on plastic anyway. I had the boys pick up one of those rolls.. the kind painters might use. Pretty handy."

"Good. I know we didn't put carpet down or wood floors in there but we don't need stains." Using one of the warehouses for such endeavors was alright for small measures of discipline. But something requiring time and privacy needed to be done in the house. It was relatively soundproof down there. And no accidental prying eyes.

"I know babes." He kissed her softly, rubbing her lower back. "You hanging around or going out... destressing a bit?"

"I'm debating it. You can have a bit of fun with him... I'd rather wait until Emily was present, you know?" She'd thought about it, how she would make sure Emily knew the reason Cook was there. If it had been a simple betrayal of being under to expose and catch Luke at the illegal acts, it would have been a painful death but relatively quick. Likely a round of bullets. That wouldn't happen now. She and Luke talked and felt this needed a more dedicated solution.

"I do." He gave her his best smile. "Love you Katie Fitch." She put her arms around his neck.

"Love you Luke Martin." They kissed. He'd said ten minutes but he didn't need to rush.

..

Effy had sent text message after text message but nothing. She hated this radio silence. She wanted to know he was alright. If he needed time, or was being forced to stay away for whatever reason, she could deal with that. But she needed to know. Naomi wandered into the kitchen.

"Is she ok?" The blonde shrugged.

"She's quiet. She's sitting there, not asleep, but her eyes are closed and she's sort of crying. I don't know what to do." She sighed. "I tried sitting with her, holding her but she... she didn't want to be touched."

"Don't think there's much we can do." They stood in silence. "She's going to need help Naoms. A lot of help."

"I know."

"We know _some_. I don't think we can know it all. I don't know that we should."

"If she knows it... can handle it then..."

"Naoms. It's not about handling it... It's not _ours_. Not our story, our past. If she chooses to tell us... it's up to her. How much and when. But it's _her_ life." Effy knew Naomi wanted to be like her mum even if she wouldn't admit it. Gina wanted to heal the world of its ills. Her daughter was more focused on one person presently but even her vocation of choice spoke volumes about how she wanted to save people.

"Right." She felt impotent. She never thought things would end up here. "No Cook?" She pointed to the phone on the counter. Effy shook her head. As much as she didn't like him, Naomi wanted him to walk through the door for her. For both of Effy and Emily.

..

Luke had finally gone to the cellar. She'd dumped the rest of her wine glass and grabbed her handbag. A little retail therapy was in order. At the last minute, she grabbed Cook's cell phone and took it with her. She knew no one at the house would remember to check it and she could leave it charging in the car as she shopped. She had the privacy screen up in the car so the driver wouldn't be tempted to look her way. She wasn't in the mood. She debated whether she should look for new shoes or clothes. There was the slightest pang of regret at Laura being dead. Not because she would miss her, but because she'd been an excuse to have parties and attend them with people who enjoyed fashion as she did.

The mobile beeped showing enough of a charge to turn on. She waited until the boring carrier screen disappeared and a signal came through. There were as many missed calls as there were text messages from someone listed as Princess. She couldn't listen to the voicemail as there was a security code. She made a disgusted sound at that and wondered if it would be worth it to have Luke ask for it before Cook was too brain damaged to offer it. She was marginally glad he hadn't had some kind of code to get into the phone itself.

Her brain started wondering about this so-called princess. Her jaw was set as she looked at the text messages. The word struck her. _It's Emily. She's his princess that fucking little shit. She has a mobile. That's how they communicated._ She let out a grunt and dialed the number on the screen.

..

Naomi had made them all tea and took a cup out to Emily. She'd accepted it and it felt like a step in the right direction. She came back into the kitchen as the mobile on the counter rang and Effy leaped at it. The call went through and both she and the voice on the other end started talking at once.

"Cook where the fuck are you? I've been worried sick!"

"Emily you need to get your arse back to the house." There was a pause.

"Cook?" Effy had heard a female voice. Could someone else have his phone? Maybe found it?

"Emily?" Katie realized it wasn't her sister answering. "Who the fuck is this?"

The voice pierced her as she recognized it. "Katie?" Naomi's eyes went wide as she put down her mug. "Why... where is he? Where's Cook?" The panic that was on Effy's face about killed the blonde.

"Who the... wait... Stonem?" There was a hiss on the other end. "You're involved? What the fuck!"


	27. Chapter 26

Another chapter... 7 more to go...

Thank you to marsupial for always bringing me back from the dark after a walkabout there... and for mad mass reviewing..

Thank you to my reviewers this past chapter mynameislizzie2, tigertrap and dammitnaomily

I'll be updating the summary for the story to include a few warnings. Personally if you buy a book, they don't come with trigger warnings. But I understand the age we live in requires at least a little heads up... also one more dark chapter then we are in the clear...

Warning: graphic depictions of violence...

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Chapter 26

Luke had debated how to go about getting the information from Cook. He couldn't really hit his face. Head shots could impair his thinking. He brought a couple of the boys down with him, leaving four upstairs. He had extra hands if necessary. Not that he expected Cook to put up much of a fuss. The late departed Harry had known how to wield a baton. He'd certainly cracked a few ribs. A bit of pressure here and there and the pain would make many men docile.

The boys flanked Cook on the cot and snapped cuffs on his wrists before undoing the restraints. They didn't really want him completely loose during the move. He tried to wrestle them off but it didn't work out how he wanted. He found himself hoisted by the cuffs and attached to a hook on the ceiling. His feet were at least flat on the ground so the strain on his arms, his torso wasn't impossible. His eyes never left Luke's. While the boys may be handling him, it wasn't them he was afraid of. He wouldn't admit it. He couldn't. Guys like him got their jollies off fear. And pain. Don't forget how much he likes pain.

"So where to start." Cook laughed and the spit at Luke. He hoped that maybe if he pissed him off enough he'd lose it and it would be over sooner. It didn't work. He wiped at the spit and hit Cook under the belt. He let out a groan and couldn't even double over. "Yeah. Don't do that. Get his shoes, socks too." The boys approached the pained hanging man and removed his footwear. "Fuck it. Just get everything off him but his boxers. Don't fancy looking at his cock."

..

Naomi was standing next to Effy. At the mention of Katie's name, her entire body went on alert. The pieces were falling into place but not how any of them wanted them to. "Katie..." Effy whispered it. The implications raking over her body like fireplace pokers. "Where is he?"

"Unfuckingbelieavble. After all this time... what fucking hole did you crawl out of?" She was seeing a spectrum of red at the thought of her being involved with her Emily in any way. "Is she with you? Is my cunting sister with you?"

"Katie..." She didn't know what to say. All she knew was she was using Cook's phone. She didn't know if maybe he'd left it behind. She had no way of knowing if he was in trouble. "Why do you have Cook's phone?" Naomi stared at her. She moved to the computer and grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a message. _Call Harry._

"Are you listening? Is Emily with you?"

Naomi wrote back. _How? I don't have his #_

Effy clicked on the keyboard and looked it up. "Katie. I'm not answering you until you answer where Cook is or why you have his phone."

"You're not in charge Stonem. I don't have to answer fuck all for you."

"And I don't have to answer fuck all for you Fitch." Effy hung up the call. Naomi damn near dropped her own mobile. She hadn't finished

"Are you fucking insane? You hung up." Effy put the phone on the counter with shaking hands. "Effy!? What the fuck?"

"What's going on?" Emily wandered in. They both looked at her and then each other. Effy's mobile rang. She snatched it from the counter but didn't answer it.

"Call Harry Naomi." Effy had dropped whatever wall she could. She looked at Emily. "Ems. Please go to the other room." Emily looked at them. "Please... for me." She retreated with a puzzled look on her face. Effy then took a breath and answered the call as Naomi placed hers.

..

There was a ringing in the background as Luke wiped his hands with a towel. The blood had been minimal so far but he didn't like losing his grip on the hammer. Cook was still conscious but mewling in pain. He'd been screaming a bit ago. The hammer lay at his left foot. The toes smashed and broken. He'd been asked where Emily was and he kept his mouth shut. Even after the toes were busted. Even after two nails had been driven through the top of his foot and into the concrete. After he'd done it, he knew Katie would be upset. That's when he stopped momentarily and he heard the phone.

"Whose phone? Can someone fucking answer it? Or take it upstairs? Jesus." The two boys with him checked their phones and shook their heads. He pulled his own phone out of his pocket but it wasn't his either. They all turned to look at the corpse in the corner. "Someone get his phone."

..

"You fucking bitch! Who the fuck do you think you are to hang up on me!" Katie sounded like she was foaming at the mouth. Effy might have enjoyed it if not for their predicament.

"Keep yelling and I'll do it again."

"How fucking dare you..."

"How dare _you_?" Her voice sounded commanding. She didn't know where it was coming from but she was grateful for it. "Where the fuck do you get off being such a fucking cunt?" Naomi would have been slack jawed if she wasn't waiting for Harry to answer the call.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I know you had delusions in school but even this... this is beyond what I believed you capable of."

"What..."

"You treated your own _sister._ Your _own fucking sister_ like a whore!" She closed her eyes as she said it. She was calling on all of the anger she tried keeping at bay. All of the emotion. "And for what? A stiff cock for yourself? Huh? Money? You were always on your back or on your knees Katie. That suited you cause it's what _you_ fucking _wanted_. But Emily... she was never and will never be that." Neither of the girls noticed the younger twin was close enough to listen. Just then Naomi's call was answered.

"Harry?" She whispered.

..

"Who's calling?" Luke asked as he grabbed the hammer from the floor. He crouched down and pulled one nail from Cook's foot. The act was punctuated with another scream.

"No name. Just a number." Luke pulled the second nail as the one boy answered while looking at the strange phone. He threw the hammer down and grabbed the mobile. He answered.

"Yeah?" He answered tersely.

"Harry?" The voice was soft, almost like it didn't want to be heard.

"Naw... he's busy. Call back later." He hung up and tossed the phone to one of the boys. "Put it on silent or some shit." He was staring down at the ground and realized that putting nails into the floor had meant going through the plastic and blood getting on the concrete. "Shit. Hey get more of the plastic and put it under him. Katie will have a fit if I fuck up the floor more."

..

Naomi stared at the phone. She threw up her hands at Effy.

"Are you done bitch?" Katie was put off by the rant but knew for certain that Emily had to be in contact with Effy at the very least. She wouldn't know any of this if she wasn't.

"Doubt it." She had her eyes open but she was keeping her focus on her anger. "Where the fuck is Cook?"

"Why should I fucking tell you?"

"Cause I have what you want." Naomi about exploded with hand gestures until Effy held up one finger. She was trying to contain her own energy, she didn't need Naomi's exploding right in front of her. She was taking a chance and she knew that.

"She's with you? Right now?" There was hope in Katie's voice. Something Effy never imagined she could have or show.

"Yeah. She's with me. Now where the fuck is Cook?"

"With Luke." The simplicity of the answer didn't betray what was occurring, what was yet to happen, but it was so matter of fact that Effy understood. "I want her back."

"She's not yours."

"Cook's not yours. You want _him_ back?"

..

"Fuck!" He screamed and kept screaming. The hammer came down on his knee for a third time. The first time had hurt but he'd kicked out with his other leg and it didn't quite hit as Luke had wanted. The boys were tasked with holding his legs down. One of them wasn't so lucky. His right knee came up and he was sure he'd broken the guy's nose. That's when the second strike to his left knee landed. It caused such an echo of pain that he stopped fighting back long enough for his legs to be grabbed. This brought him to the present moment. He was sure the top of his left leg was no longer connected to the bottom half the pain was so bad.

Luke laughed. "Aww... thought you'd be tougher than this. You can stop it you know. Tell me where the little cunt is. I'll even let you have a go at her again. You know how sweet she is." Cook pulled at the cuffs and the hold on his legs. Even if it hurt, even if it was painful enough for him to scream and cry, he strained. He wouldn't tell him where she was. "Hey, maybe I can let the boys do her. You want to watch Cookie? You want to see her suffer? Cause I will make her suffer. I will leave her in a puddle right at your feet if you make me wait much longer."

..

"Yes. I want him back." She couldn't help but admit it.

"Then you'll turn her over."

"No."

"What? What do you mean no?"

"I'm not trading her for him." It was at that point Emily walked into the kitchen, a stricken look on her face. Effy turned away from her, not wanting to see her, not wanting to hear what she might have to say. "I need you to let him go Katie. He's not who you think he is. He'll bring you more trouble than it's worth." Katie laughed.

"You're gonna tell me he's a copper. Yeah, got that memo sweetheart. Newsflash, you're a little late to that party. He _was_ a copper. Now he's a punching bag."

"What?" Effy felt a stabbing pain as Katie spoke. There was enough intonation to know she wasn't speaking metaphorically. "Don't hurt him." She whispered it before she had a chance to catch herself. Emily surged forward and tried to take the phone from Effy who turned around at the last second and kept it away. Naomi slipped her arms around Emily's waist.

"Effy no... give me the phone. Let me talk to her. Naomi let me go. No..." She'd seen what they were capable of and the idea that Cook might be getting hurt was more than she could take. "Katie! I'll come back!" She was yelling it as the blonde was putting herself between Effy and Emily, her arms tight around her still.

"Shh.. Emily... come on."

She put the phone back to her ear and heard the laughter. If she didn't hate Katie before, it was there now. "Let him go."

"No. She walks through the door at home, and I won't send him back in pieces." Katie hung up.

..

Cook had passed out at the pain. Luke was angry. One of the boys had lost hold of his leg and he'd somehow managed to kick him directly in the balls. After the mind-numbing pain, he'd exploded. He'd hit the idiot who'd failed to hold him several times and then began punching Cook. The hits to his face hadn't been too bad but the hits to his ribs were what caused the blinding pain. He hung limply as Luke stood in front of him, blood smeared fists at his side. He yelled for them to take him down and restrain him to the cot once more. He walked off trying to cool himself down.

He went upstairs and washed his hands in the kitchen sink before going into the den and grabbing a bottle of scotch. He poured himself a glass and downed it. He couldn't kill him. He needed to lay off the shots to the head and anything that would cause Cook to stop breathing. He knew this. Katie had told him. She wanted to be the one to do it. She wanted to torment her sister. Luke was at a loss in understanding her need to dominate her twin. It was an obsession. If it wasn't for his unwavering knowledge that Katie loved him, believed in him, then he might have been jealous of whatever hold Emily had on her. He finished his drink and grabbed a bottle of vodka and headed back to the basement.

..

The moment the call ended, Effy let the phone slide out of her hand to the counter. Her legs were threatening to give out. Emily was still struggling against Naomi.

"No... Effy. No. Whatever she wants. He doesn't deserve... they'll hurt him. If she has him, they'll hurt him. I need to go back."

"Emily... you're not going back."

"He's a good guy Naoms. I swear he is." She was looking into the blue eyes and pleading. "She wants me. She only wants me. Just let me go to her."

"Emily..." Effy spoke. She'd slid to the floor and had her back to the counter. "She's not going to let him go. Even if she gets you back." She paused, unsure of how to say the next words. "Cook's dead."

..

Katie was stewing in the back of the car. Her temper was threatening to overpower her. She almost had Emily again but now she had a different goal. She was calculating who was behind everything, who had likely killed or ordered Laura to be killed. Somehow she had gotten her claws into Cook. To think that after all this time, this distance, Effy was trying to take what was hers. Again. Katie wasn't going to allow it. She had something to trade. But would she? Did she want to do that? She knew Luke wouldn't want to let Cook go after his betrayal. If it hadn't been for her demand that Emily be present, the boy would have been dead a while. She couldn't see Luke releasing him easily. But she wanted her sister back. She couldn't let Effy keep her.

She was getting a headache. Not enough wine. She should have drunk something stronger. She looked at the mini bar in the car and gave it some thought. _Fuck it_. She buzzed the driver. "Pull into the next coffee shop and get me a large triple shot." She needed to stay mentally clear. She couldn't indulge. If it had been Cook and Emily plotting this whole thing, she could have given in to her need for a stronger drink. But she wasn't playing with them anymore. She was playing with someone deserving of her undivided attention. Effy Stonem.

..

"No no no no no..." Emily was shrieking. Naomi hadn't been able to hold on to her. She was on Effy, grabbing her by the shirt and shaking her. "He can't be... no... he can't..." Effy didn't stop her. She was barely registering her, her pain. She was thinking. She knew Cook wasn't dead. She had no proof but Katie's use of verb tense told her. _Was a copper, is a punching bag. He was alive._ She didn't know how long he would have. But she knew that Katie had one goal. Her sister. It would have been simple enough to say yes, she would get her. It would have been simple enough to offer her as a sacrificial lamb. But Effy couldn't. _You'd rather let her feel this heartache? Yes. It's not fair to her. I don't care._

She let herself get accosted by the twin. She wasn't really hitting her. She was succumbing to her anguish. Tears falling in sobs. She felt her being pulled away gently. She could hear Naomi trying to comfort her. She hadn't addressed Effy. For whatever reason, the call to Harry had been a bust. The blonde had only heard what Emily had heard. She hadn't heard Katie's side. _Talk to them. Tell them. NO!_ Emily was breaking down. Naomi would see to her. That needed to happen. "Naoms." The blonde looked at her with sad eyes. She was mourning for Emily's loss, for Effy's. "Take Emily to the bedroom. Get her one of my pills. She'll make herself sick otherwise."

The twin tried to push back and not let herself be led out but Naomi was used to combative patients. She held on to her and walked her out. The moment they were around the corner, Effy stood up. _This is not a good idea._ She grabbed her bag from next to the computer, went into a side bottom drawer in the kitchen and took out a couple of things, tossing them in her bag. She was in the living room and grabbing Naomi's car keys from the table before either of the girls could realize she was leaving. She took the stairs to the street and took off in Naomi's car. She forgot her mobile on the counter.

..

The boys had secured Cook to the cot. Luke had returned with the vodka bottle in one hand and a knife in the other. The look in his captive's eyes was feral. He really should have ended it. He didn't think he would give up the younger twin. It wasn't in him to not protect her. He put the knife down flat on Cook's stomach. The tip just crossing over the waistband of his boxers. He uncapped the vodka bottle and took a swig. He made a show of looking at the swollen misshapen left knee. "Painful... I think you might have a limp after this." He smiled and poured some of the vodka over the nail holes in Cook's foot.

As the alcohol burned, he gritted his teeth and prevented himself from crying out. He didn't have a comeback to any of it anymore. His mind swirled between the pain, thoughts of Effy and Emily. He tried focusing on the latter two. He did love them. He'd do anything for them. He knew Emily would be upset that he didn't give her up. And he knew that Effy would be disappointed that he ended up in this position. He was on the verge of passing out when Luke grabbed the knife. He felt the tip of it dig into his balls through the boxers.

"Want to change your mind yet? Tell me where the little bitch is?" Luke pressed the knife in. It wasn't enough to cause damage. Katie wanted to cut that off herself. He wouldn't deny her. Cook shivered but shook his head. He braced himself. Luke sighed and took the knife away from his bollocks and drove it deep into his right upper arm. It was long enough to go through the other side and hit the cot. He pulled it out and watched as the blood started to flow. "Still nothing?" Even through the screams, Cook shook his head. There was no hesitation in pouring the vodka on the fresh wound.


	28. Chapter 27

Today's chapter... next one on Saturday... hopefully... unless I get sucked into writing by a beautiful evil playful muse...

thank you to marsupial who keeps me on track and lifts me out of the mire... she also sprints with me...

Thank you to my lovely dedicated reviewers dammitnaomily, mynameislizzie2 and tigertrap... between all the curse words, biblical references and entomological ideas I've felt the love... Cheers!

6 more chapters and 28 is the coup de grâce

warning: graphic depictions/mentions of violence...

* * *

Chapter 27

 _She sat on the hospital bed and watched as people hurried about. Her left wrist manacled to the railing while her right lay limp on her side. She'd been administered some painkiller via IV and was in a light haze. There was a police officer standing by the half-drawn curtain, not that she could really move or think to run away. She was covered in blood. Hers and others. A nurse came by and checked the IV bag. She mentioned something about a doctor coming soon. The bandage on her leg was soaked through. She wondered if it mattered. She closed her eyes and tried to forget it all._

 _.._

Naomi had managed to get Emily into the bedroom but was having doubts about medicating her. She knew the side effects and it wasn't that. The worst that would happen is she would fall asleep for hours. She'd be safe. But she didn't think sadness over loss meant immediate dosing. It was a healthy response. Crying, mourning. The pain in her voice, her body. She wanted to ask how close they really were. She'd assumed and gotten bits and pieces but the whole picture wasn't clear. It was like a watercolor painting. She thought about everything Emily had gone through. Would she be able to have a real life? How long would she need therapy? Could she be happy with Naomi? That last bit was something that kept gnawing at her. What if the woman Naomi was didn't live up to the image that Emily had of her?

Emily was still crying and rolled up in a ball when the blonde left her side momentarily. She wanted to ask Effy if she was sure about Cook. Maybe there was a small chance. She walked into the kitchen and that's when she realized Effy wasn't there. She did a quick search and she was nowhere in the flat. "Fuck." She grabbed her mobile to call her, see where she was at. She'd not realized the impact Cook's death would have on her. Not when she'd been so calm. Her own voice chastising her for keeping her focus on the crying twin. The ringing device in the kitchen let her know that there was no way to get a hold of her. "Fucking hell Effy."

..

Emily let her tears fall. She hadn't thought ahead. She hadn't imagined Cook getting hurt. Not hurt. _Dead. He's dead cause of you_. She buried her head in the pillow. It still smelled of Naomi and it was making her feel at odds with herself. She pushed the pillow away. Flashes of him came to mind. How he laughed. How he wiggled his eyebrows. He was just a boy. She thought the world unfair. Not for what had happened to her, but unfair that the world would be robbed of someone like Cook. He wanted to be the good guy. He wanted to make her laugh and smile. And now he was gone.

She didn't know how to explain it. Not really. Some part of her knew that he was part of what had happened to her. And that it wasn't right. But she couldn't help how she felt. They'd been through the chaos that was Luke and her sister together. They'd lived together under the same roof. They'd shared secrets. How could she explain it? Her mind felt like it was wringing itself dry.

..

Effy drove relentlessly through back roads and side streets. She remembered the address. She knew how to get there. _She walks through the door at home, and I won't send him back in pieces_. She remembered the words. _Home. Cook was at that house. So are Katie and Luke. You're walking into the lion's den. I don't have a choice._ She knew Naomi would flip once she realized Effy was missing. It was a wonder she hadn't phoned her. She thought it was just as well since answering would not be in anyone's best interest. Especially the way she was driving.

She should have tried Harry again. She shouldn't be doing this alone. Every argument that popped into her head about why she needed to pull over, to rethink, was squashed with the idea that there was no time. Her sense of impending doom was magnified the moment she gave thought to Naomi, Emily and Cook. _Cook_. She was doing this for him. She couldn't let him go. As much as she struggled to close the door on her emotions all these years, he'd wormed his way in there. He was such a part of her that it frightened her. She'd accepted Naomi's presence in her life long ago because it was balanced. They gave and took from each other equally. She smiled at the thought of the blonde likely being unhinged if she realized Effy wasn't there. His presence was different. When he was around, she could see herself jumping off a cliff. He needed to be ok.

..

Katie was sipping on her coffee and trying to get her mind to focus. She should have asked to talk to Emily. If she had talked to her, she knew she could get her to come back. She knew her sister would sacrifice herself for Cook. But Effy hadn't let her do that. She'd said no to her. She fingered her mobile and considered calling her back, asking to speak to her twin. _No. That's like begging. We don't fucking beg. Especially from her._ She fired off a text message to Luke. She knew he'd be busy and she didn't want to interrupt him. But she did want him aware of the new development.

Not for the first time, she thought about children. She knew no matter what shape Emily came back to her, pregnancy wouldn't be an option. She wouldn't be able to trust her. While she didn't think her twin would willingly harm something as innocent as a fetus, there were enough ways for the pregnancy to become higher risk and create an unstable environment for a healthy full term baby. She wiped away an errant tear. Luke wouldn't mind. Not if they had a different surrogate or if they didn't have children at all. She was all too aware of his thoughts. He would have claimed to be enigmatic but she saw right through him. Then again, she would claim the same and he about her. _Not even Emsy had been so aware of her._ As much as Katie wanted her twin to be her mirror, she was sure it would never happen.

..

 _She was half out of it when he appeared next to her. She thought he was an apparition but the small wave of the curtain let her know he was real enough. He reached out and touched her face. She flinched but didn't move away. She looked and her wrist was no longer attached to the bed railing. She wanted to ask but couldn't form the words. There was still too much going on around her behind that curtain. She couldn't see past him to see if the officer was still standing by. "She'll be ok." It was all he said before she blinked and he was gone. Had he really been there?_

..

Naomi went back into the bedroom with a glass of water and one of Effy's pills. She would let Emily decide if she wanted it. It pained her to see her so distraught. She knew she cared about him. _You knew and you were jealous. You wanted no part of him. You didn't want him in her life, in her presence. You blamed him. I know. I still do_. She sighed and sat on the bed. "Hey Ems... sit up. Have a drink of water." The girl moved slowly on autopilot. That is until she met Naomi's eyes. It was like a reminder of her dreams. Those brown eyes, so full of ache but there was a small smile in them. She couldn't imagine what she was going through, what she had gone through.

"Thanks." Her voice was hoarse. She took the glass and drank, noting the pill in Naomi's hand. "To soothe my hysterics?"

"You're not hysterical... just..." She shrugged one shoulder. "You needn't take it. It's up to you."

"I loved him. I love him." There was a knot in Naomi's chest and she nodded. Emily put her head on Naomi's shoulder. "He cared. He wasn't mean. He wasn't out for himself." She sniffled. "He did what he could." She looked up. "I know you think..."

"What I think doesn't matter." Emily touched her face.

"It matters." Somewhere a phone started ringing.

..

Effy had parked in the same place she and Naomi had. She could see the house but it almost seemed different. Colder. She grabbed her bag and took out the two items she'd put in there before leaving her flat. One was a folded knife that she had acquired too many years ago. The other was a small stun gun she had procured in a different country on her travels. She wished she had a pistol but she'd never believed in guns. She took a breath and then walked towards the house. She noted that the black car wasn't in the drive. There were no guards posted at the door. She thought that maybe they took the guards with them if they'd left for whatever reason. She thought of Naomi and Emily. She slipped the still-closed knife in one pocket and then reached for her mobile in the other one. Except she didn't have it. She cursed. The feeling in the pit of her stomach became worse.

She had been about to call the girls to be aware in case the reason Luke and company were on their way there. She hoped that maybe they were out doing whatever fucked up business they had. Maybe Cook was locked away inside somewhere. She was able to walk around the length of the house without anyone inquiring about her. It felt off. Wrong. She went to the door and smiled at the thought of knocking or ringing the bell. She tried the knob but it didn't turn. She went around back and tried a side gate. It was unlocked. She took the knife out then and opened it. She held it in her right hand, needing the force behind her dominant hand if she was to use it. The stun gun in her left only needed a button to work. That and she had to be close enough to touch the individual.

She reached the house's back entrance and it stood wide open. The hair on the back of her neck stood. Cautiously she went in.

..

"Hello?" Naomi answered Effy's phone. She didn't know who it was as it wasn't a registered contact but she didn't care.

"You're not Effy." The lisp on the other end immediately grated on her nerves.

"No bitch. I'm not her." She growled into the phone and heard a laugh.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me. Did Emily take out an ad for every fucking cunt she ever fancied?" Katie was beyond incredulous. The two women who had threatened everything she'd had when young were at the apex of her life taking a turn.

"Aww.. so sweet. Still about as shallow as a puddle I see." She couldn't see a reason not to take a swipe.

"Where's Effy? You might be involved Campbell but you're _not_ the brains there."

"Such the charmer. I can see why you had to go so low for a mate. Does he whore you out too?" She cringed at her own words but it had been instinct to strike as viciously as possible.

"Fuck you."

"I'd rather fuck a porcupine."

"I can arrange that but it'd be inhumane for the porcupine. Put the bitch on."

"If you have something to say, say it. You've already hurt them. I won't let you get away with more vitriol."

"Hurt them? Oh hun I've barely started. I get my hands on my sister she's going to wish I _only_ hurt her." Naomi was picturing literally ripping Katie's head off. "I can't believe Effy's that cold-blooded though. Maybe I should. I mean letting Cook take all the pain... All so you and she can _what_? Share my sister? How's that work exactly. Do each of you take an end? Ugh... fucking lezzers.."

"You're the one who killed him. Effy had nothing to do with it."

"Who'd I kill?"

"Don't be a cunt."

"I'm all for killing but I'd like to know who I ended that caused you pain cause I'm all about that one." She laughed at her. The driver was signaling that they were almost at the house. She waved him off.

"Cook you bitch. Your sister's gutted. Happy now?"

"Happy she's gutted, the miserable little shit but he ain't dead."

"What?" A cold hit Naomi's entire body.

"He likely wishes he were dead."

"Effy." She said the name as she hung up. "Emily!"

..

As Effy stepped further inside, her gut told her to turn around. There was glass everywhere and upturned chairs. She could see holes in the walls and had a good idea what they were. When she spotted blood sprayed on the wall, she no longer had any doubts what they were. She took a breathe and held the knife tighter. She couldn't hear anything in the house itself. No people. No noise. She continued on carefully. She ended up following the trail of blood until she reached an open door leading to a set of stairs going down. She paused, her back to the wall.

 _You're here. There's no turning back. If you were them, Cook would be in the basement. Less noise. No prying eyes_. She thought about the blood, the bullet holes. She steeled herself for what she would find. She made it halfway down the stairs when she saw the body. She stopped moving and looked behind her. Holding her breath, she really wished she'd had a pistol then. She wasn't great with them but she'd had some target practice thanks to a former boyfriend. She took another step down then another. When she reached the man's head, she took a look. He was dead. That much she knew. There was a neat cluster of bullet holes in the middle of his back almost invisible given the color and material of his jacket. His eyes were open. She shivered and continued down.

About three steps from the bottom, there was a landing. She could see the dead man's blood had dripped down and pooled there. She reached it and tentatively looked around the corner. She couldn't believe her eyes.

..

The driver parked the car and opened Katie's door. She looked around. "Why is there no guard?" She thought it odd but then decided maybe the idiot went inside to take a piss. She tried the door and found it locked and was at least relieved by such a simple thing. She unlocked it and went in. The driver went in with her. She took off her heels at the door. "See if you can't find the..." Her words died in her throat as she kicked a spent bullet casing. The driver drew his weapon and stepped in front of her. She went into her bag and retrieved her own. She wanted to call out his name. She knew better. If things were alright, he'd already be in front of her, reassuring her. Her gut clenched.

They walked slowly through the first floor, finding more and more shell casings. She couldn't imagine this many bullets and no bodies. When they reached the kitchen, they halted. She saw it then. Blood. Her heart dropped. Every inch of her wanted to run through the house, screaming for him. He needed to be alright. _You lost Emsy. You can't lose him too_. She closed her eyes and settled herself. Having a gun in her hand helped. She felt connected to him because of it. It had been an anniversary gift. _He'll be ok_. She saw the door to the cellar was open and there was more blood that way.

..

In the end, all men are alike. No matter how strong or valiant they appear, when death is at their door, they plead. They plead for their life, for leniency, for mercy. For a few more moments. He wasn't unaccustomed to it. He simply didn't care. He looked around him and took in the blood, the bodies. He would need them removed eventually. Not that anyone would live here. No one would purchase a house mired in such death. Once the truth of the events came out, the house would stand empty. He put the gun to the man's face and pulled the trigger until the pistol clicked empty.

..

"Fuck fuck fuck..." Naomi was on repeat after realizing her car keys were gone. Emily had stepped out of the bedroom when she heard her name yelled out. There was a frenzy of activity as the blonde had tried explaining about the phone call, Effy and Cook not being dead. She would need to explain it again on the way down and out of the building. There wasn't a moment to second guess or doubt. There was no moment of fear for either. Naomi was working on the hope that she was incredibly wrong. Emily was working on the news that Cook was alive. It was all they had at this moment and they were running with it. It would have been too easy to find a meandering cab. While it was a decent enough neighborhood, it didn't warrant the need for nonstop random car services. They ran to a cross street that led to a busier sector. It was maybe ten minutes of actively waiting but it felt so much longer. They were in the back of the cab and Naomi promised double the fare if he could get them to the address she gave in the shortest amount of time.

"Naomi." Emily said her name. She didn't really hear her. She was inundated with the possibilities awaiting them. She could hear Effy's voice in her head that they were driving into danger. That Katie wanted Emily. They shouldn't be in the cab. "Naomi." She said it a bit more sternly and got her attention. She took her hand.

"Sorry... just... brain's going too fast you know?" She bit her lip. She looked at her mobile and considered calling the police but she didn't know what to say. _Hi. My soon-to-be girlfriend's sister might be murdering said girlfriend's former captor-slash-lover and my best friend. Could you send someone? Thanks._ The sarcasm was rich even in her head.

"It's ok. It will be ok." Emily was trying to pacify her and she wasn't sure it would work. She had Effy's mobile in her hand. She knew what could be waiting for them. She'd gotten the message even as Naomi had explained everything a second time. She hadn't balked at heading out. For whatever reason, she felt she owed them. Effy, Cook. Naomi. Each in their own way had given her hope. It was all she'd needed to keep her alive. She knew what to do with it. She found the number in the recents menu and called. It was answered in the second ring. "Jameson. I need your help."

..

Effy took her time climbing the final steps into the cellar. Beyond her, she could see the better part of 6 bodies. Her stomach turned as she couldn't see any movement. Her eyes caught on a sole body in the corner and she could see who it was, even as obscured as it was. Harry. Her eyes moved feverishly over the others. She saw him. His body was the one under another. Her feet moved her across the space in an instant.

"Cook... shit." She put both the knife and the stunner down as she tried to move the body on top of him. She hadn't realized that the dead weighed so much. On her knees, she grunted and heaved, ending up covered in blood. The plastic on the ground didn't help with traction but almost let go when she heard a low grunt. Effy didn't know where the sound had come from until she saw his eyes.

"Princess..." He whispered. She shoved with all her might. He grunted again but it didn't stop her. With the body finally off, she touched his bare chest. There was so much blood.

"Cook... where... tell me where you're hurt." He let out a small chuckle and coughed.

"Feels like everywhere but me cock." He licked his lips and tasted copper. "Fuck." She was still scanning his body, with her eyes, with her fingers. "Ahh.. ok ok..yeah.. there's... ugh.." She was making mental notes as best she could. Her hands a mess of nerves. _Ribs. His arm_.. _His arm is really bleeding Fuck._ She saw his leg then. Her eyes watered as she took in the state of his knee, his foot. _Breathe... it'll be ok. He's alive._

"Are you shot?" She asked him and wanted to shake him when he didn't reply immediately. "Cook!"

"Shh... my head..." He licked his lips again and grimaced. He wanted water. "Don't think so. I was... on floor a'ready when they's came in..." He couldn't hear gunshots anymore and hoped they'd all killed each other. His mind seized that Effy was here. "Get out... go... call.." He tried to move but ended up coughing at the pain. She turned him over so he wouldn't choke on his cough and whatever he was trying to spit up. He let out a garbled scream.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I don't... I didn't want to hurt you." She spoke as the tears dropped.

"Effs.. go... get help... please.." He shivered. Neither had been paying attention until they heard her voice.

"Not the homecoming I wanted but it'll do." Cook couldn't see her from his position. Effy's face told him he was right in thinking it was her.

"Katie." Effy said. There was nothing but fear in her voice. A gun was pointed at her head. She wasn't scared for that. It was the look in the twin's eyes that frightened her.

"Where is Luke?"

..

Naomi and Emily pulled up to the house and the blonde paid the fare and a hefty tip. While it felt like forever, it hadn't been more than 20 minutes to get there. Emily had spoken to Jameson briefly and explained best she could what was going on. He didn't answer much. At least not that she told Naomi. But he mentioned he'd be on his way to the house. He'd agreed to help with some conditions but it wasn't anything Emily wouldn't oppose. The one thing he'd said that she had zero intention of listening to was that the two of them should stay away. Her friends were in trouble. Her and Naomi's. Neither was sitting by and waiting. There was one car in the drive and the front door was ajar. They didn't know if that was a good sign or not.

They stepped inside. Neither thought about weapons. The kept walking through the house until they saw the spent bullets. Emily and Naomi looked at each other. Each wanted a reassurance that they would keep going in. If either had flashed the slightest bit of doubt, they would have turned around and waited for Jameson. One solid breath later and they kept on. They heard voices and knew they weren't alone.

..

Katie could see the bodies and none was Luke. The driver had tried intervening and Katie whirled the gun on him. She growled at him to go check the rest of the house. The gun and her gaze didn't move but Effy's eyes did. Cook winced but nudged his head at a pistol not far from her reach. Neither would know if it had bullets left in it or not but it was their only chance. She had dropped the knife and the stunner. Neither could help her anyway. Katie simply wasn't close enough to her. She moved when the driver turned and headed up the stairs. Her fingers were almost on the grip when she heard Katie turning.

..

 _She couldn't remember having taken off her clothes but she was lying on the hospital bed in a flimsy gown. A sheet covering the better part of her. She was still in the A &E from the look of it. Everything seemed quieter. She managed to peek at her leg and there was a clean and bulky bandage around her thigh. She didn't remember how that came to be. The curtain was open in the front in full view of the nurses' station. Someone noticed her. A nurse, a doctor and a man in a suit came to her bedside. _

_"Ms. Fitch. How are you feeling? I'm Doctor Holmes. Inspector Goddard has some questions for you. But I want to make sure you're up for them._


	29. Chapter 28

holy crap... that took forever... 5 more chapters to go... this is a long one... buckle in..

thank you to marsupial for her ever present peace of mind and support

thank you to my awesome reviewers dammit naomily, mynameislizzie2, tigertrap, Andy 34... take some antacids, light some incense, whatever you need for this one...

with that...

WARNING: Graphic depictions/descriptions of violence, mature themes of KARMIC proportions.

disclaimer: I own nothing but my oc's, ideas, twisted thoughts...

* * *

Chapter 28

"I can't tell you what I don't know." She knew there were cameras but she had no clue how they worked or where they were exactly. It wasn't something that she needed to be aware of.

Inspector Goddard stared at her. "Ms. You _did_ live in that house yes?"

"Yes."

"So you're aware of the home's security system and cameras?"

"Yes but.."

"So how is it that the surveillance equipment was disabled earlier today? The system housing the recorded material removed?"

..

 _Katie could see the bodies and none was Luke. The driver had tried intervening and she whirled the gun on him. She growled at him to go check the rest of the house. The gun and her gaze didn't move but Effy's eyes did. Cook winced but nudged his head at a pistol not far from her reach. Neither would know if it had bullets left in it or not but it was their only chance. She had dropped the knife and the stunner. Neither could help her anyway. Katie simply wasn't close enough to her. She moved when the driver turned and headed up the stairs. Her fingers were almost on the grip when she heard Katie turning._

 _Effy didn't quite grab the gun. She couldn't let Katie see it, couldn't let her take the only chance either she or Cook might have to defend themselves. She let out a breath when the brown eyes and the gun were trained on her once more._

 _"Dilemma this. Isn't it?" She didn't know how she was keeping her voice steady._

 _"What is?" Katie took a step forward and found herself slipping a bit on the plastic and the blood. She held off on getting closer. She could hear the driver going up the steps. She both wanted him to find Luke and not._ If he was in the house, he'd be down here... unless... _Her hand shook and she closed her eyes a second. Effy moved the slightest bit. Cook's eyes were still on her. The driver yells and a gun is fired. The twin turned, alerted by the gun. Effy seeing her chance and grabbing the pistol._

 _.._

"I wasn't there... earlier. I don't know what happened."

"Ms. Fitch. You're the only person conscious right now. One of a handful to be alive after what looks to be a damn right massacre. Including one fallen officer of the Crown."

"What?"

..

 _Naomi and Emily had approached the open door tentatively with the blonde leading the way. They stopped when the man rounded the corner coming up the stairs. "Shit." Naomi stopped in her tracks as the gun came up. "Go!" She said the word as the sound crashed around her and inside her. She fell backward into Emily. She thought she heard screams. Someone was moving._ Wait. I'm moving. I'm pushing her? Why are we wet? Fuck that hurts. _She stumbled even as Emily pulled her along._

 _Effy couldn't remember the gun being so light. She remembered target practice. It had felt heavier._ Different gun _. She was, in her mind, watching slide shows of what she'd learned. She'd managed to pull the pistol up when she barely registered the noise as something slammed into her left shoulder. Cook screamed. It was a horrible sound she thought. Her finger reflexively pressed the trigger as her arm was on the upswing and her body was falling back. She didn't know if she hit anything. There was another explosion and she couldn't tell where it had come from. But her pain hadn't gotten worse. She thought that was good. Her back slammed into the plastic covered ground and she felt the air leave her lungs. She held on to the gun._

 _Katie had been distracted by the driver's gun firing the first round. She'd taken her eyes off her but she'd seen the motion. She turned back in time to see the gun in Effy's hand, in time to fire a shot. Her eyes had seen the burst of red on the brunette's jacket. She would have been elated had it not been for the immediate pain into her side and up into her chest. She staggered backward and crumpled after slipping. She grunted and reached for the pain. Her hands came away covered in blood. She cursed. Then she realized the gun had fallen out of her hand. There was another gunshot. And another. Could she hear voices? "Emily?"_

..

"What massacre?" She was screaming at Goddard now. She didn't know what he was talking about. _Who was dead?_ "No... no.. she was alive. He said she would be ok."

"Who is _he_ , Ms. Fitch?" Goddard took note but the doctor stepped in. She became hysterical and the doctor didn't want that.

"I'm sorry Inspector. You will need to come back later. Ms. Fitch... Ms. Fitch.. focus now."

"No." She was pushing at the doctor's hands. She grabbed the IV and pulled it out of her arm. A nurse came over to her and was preparing a syringe. "She's not dead. She's ok. She has to be ok."

"I need to talk to her. You can't give her that." The inspector was protesting.

"Sir. You need to leave." A male nurse came in and began escorting the office out.

..

 _Emily had noticed what Naomi had seen a second too late. She heard the shot as Naomi was half-turned. There was a thick sound but she didn't know it was the bullet piercing the blonde's body. They moved back the way they had come until Naomi stumbled. Emily's hand was wrapped around her arm. She was pulling at her. "Naoms.." She saw the blood then and almost let go. There were more gunshots but she didn't know where they were coming from. Another one and she felt the heat of it as it seemed to whizz by her. She looked up to see the man with the gun coming closer. A shot rang out and she saw the muzzle flash. The pain in her leg caused her to scream but it was muted. She looked down at Naomi. She lay on top of Emily unmoving. The gun was almost above her. She saw a shadow behind her and the gun moved up but it never fired. Instead, she heard the explosion and the man with the gun was propelled backward. She tried to turn to the footsteps next to her._

 _Katie struggled to move. Her breathing was shallow and there was a burning in her side. She'd heard her sister. She was sure of it. She blinked and she was on her back. When she looked up she saw Effy holding a gun on her. She let out a garbled laugh and there was liquid in her mouth. She coughed and almost choked on it. She turned her head and spit some of it out but it made her cough again. Surprisingly, Effy was on her knees then, and with great difficulty turned Katie on her side after setting the gun down and using only her right arm in the process. The blood was a deep red. She thought it wasn't a good sign. She met the blue eyes._

 _"Not... thanking... you." Effy stared at her. She needed to go upstairs. See what was happening. She had a gun now. She could do it. "You... stole her..." She shook her head at the words._

 _"She didn't belong to you. She belongs to herself."_

 _"No..." Katie was shivering and she couldn't tell if it was anger or her injury. "You need... you need to get help."_

 _"I do." Effy agreed but she didn't move. She hoped Cook wasn't dying on her yet. "You won't go near her again." A small choked laugh and more blood._

 _"She can't... live... without..."_

 _"She can and she will." Effy could feel the throb in her shoulder. She needed to stand up, to go find a phone, before she was far too tired from her own injury to make it up the steps. "You won't go near her."_

 _"Can't..stop... me..." Katie's eyes met Effy's. The blue eyes were without emotion. She needed all of her energy. She stood up, taking the gun with her._

 _"I already did."_

 _.._

She had been knocked out by whatever they gave her. When she woke, she saw that the IV had been reattached. More surprising, she wasn't strapped down. She almost wished it though. It would be easier to stay still if she was strapped to the bed. Her mouth felt dry. When she focused, she realized he was sitting in a chair about three feet from the bed. "Jameson."

"Hello, Emily."

"You're here."

"I am." He didn't stand or rush to her side. "How are you?"

"How..." It almost made her laugh. She thought it was the worst question ever. "Shitty."

He smiled. "I can imagine." He stood then and poured a plastic cup of water from a carafe on the rolling table at the foot of her bed. He brought it to her. "Here." Her hand shook as she took the cup and he covered her hand with his as she drank.

"Thank you." He nodded. "Can you tell me what happened?" He smiled.

"I can." He put the cup back on the table and pulled the table closer to her, leaving it within reach. "At least I can tell you what I witnessed. However," He looked at her and almost reached out to touch her face. "You've not talked to the police. It'll be harder to persuade them that you haven't any information if you, in fact, know the particulars." She swallowed.

"So you won't."

"No. I won't." He stared at her. "Your friend, Effy,... will be by as soon as she finds out you're awake."

"She's alive?" He tilted his head at her question.

"You've not talked with _anyone_?" She shook her head. "Oh. I see." He scratched at his jaw and then took her hand. She wanted to pull away. Not because she couldn't stand his touch. Oddly it was still comforting as it had been in Laura's flat. She wanted to pull her hand away because he was comforting her _before_ he said anything. That couldn't be good. "Effy is alive and in the hospital here. A few doors down. Your friend Naomi is also alive. She got shot. Your other mate Cook is alive as well."

"Katie?" She cringed as he squeezed her hand and shook his head. She was flooded with sadness. Her eyes brimming with tears at hearing her sister didn't make it. "Did you?"

"Don't ask those things. I'm granting you the barest information." She nodded, tears falling from her eyes. "Luke's dead too." She let out a relieved sob at that. But her heart was aching. Her sister was gone. Jameson stared at her as she cried. He didn't get any closer or offer more than simple hand-holding.

"Get away from her." Effy's voice was louder as she slowly walked into the room. She had an IV stand with her. Her left arm in a sling. Jameson looked up but didn't move away.

"You're up and about. Good on you."

"I said..."

"I heard you. But she doesn't seem to be troubled by my presence. Why are you?"

"Because you're the same kind of sick they were."

"Hardly." He did move away from Emily, letting her hand drop to the bed. He slipped a hand into his suit jacket and Effy tensed. He smiled and shook his head. "Really? It's a hospital." He pulled out a mobile and put it in Emily's hand. "When you're ready to be discharged. I'm sure the police will have spoken to you by then." He stepped away and headed past Effy who stood very still. He leaned in. "I'm not looking to hurt her. Or you. If I wanted that, you'd be with the pile back at that house. I didn't tell her by the way. Left that to you." He left without a look back.

Effy stood there a moment, not sure she could move really after he left. She looked at Emily and saw the tears. She slowly walked to her and took a seat at the foot of the bed. Emily wiped at her eyes. "Hey."

"Hey." She wished she still smoked. You're in hospital. Don't think it would work. She sighed. "How's the leg?"

"It's there. Stiff feeling." She looked at Effy and took her in. She looked tired, Massively tired. "Your arm?" Effy smiled.

"It's there. Shoulder. Bullet didn't do as much damage as it could've."

"Bullet." Emily swallowed. She nodded, remembering the sounds, the smell. The pain. "Yeah... Jameson... he wouldn't tell me what happened. Says it would mess up things when I talked to the police."

"He's right. But I don't give a fuck about them." She had already talked to Goddard. She'd given him answers to questions he'd asked. She didn't offer any more or less. "If you want to know, I'll tell you as much as I can."

"Naomi? Is she ok?" She took a breath. "Cook? How...?"

"Naomi took a bullet to her... abdomen. Went is as she turned apparently from the angle. She needed surgery but she'll be ok." She could see the color, what little there was, drain out of Emily's face as she spoke to her. She didn't go into detail because she knew it sounded a lot worse. _She almost died. She almost fucking died. She's hooked up to too many machines._ Effy gripped her gown, trying to breathe. She nodded to herself. "Cook is ok. He's hurt but he wasn't shot."

"Luke... He hurt him." It wasn't a question. Effy knew Emily hadn't made it to the cellar and seen it for herself. She could only imagine what she had seen when she lived there. She nodded.

"Yeah. He hurt him."

"How bad?"

"He'll recover."

"Doesn't answer..." Effy shook her head at Emily. "What happened to answering as much as you can?" The twin gave her a smile.

"That's... that's as much as I can Ems." She closed her eyes and wished she would stop seeing it all. "It wasn't..." She could feel her body shiver and she hated it. "He's resting."

"Effy..."

"It's ok... it's ok... they're ok." She smiled and tried to sound stronger than she felt. Emily groaned as she moved but she scooted down enough to touch Effy. It would have been awkward to hug her without hurting her because of how she was sitting and Emily's own leg.

"What happened?" After a few minutes, she started talking.

..

 _Luke took a drink right from the bottle as he stood over a whimpering Cook. He was impressed. The boy was bleeding and in pain and yet he didn't say anything about where Emily was. He thought it a shame. "Why'd you have to be a cop Cook? You were perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect." He grumbled. "You knew the job, knew how to do it... could give a beating..." He chuckled. "Could take a beating. But you had to be a cop. Fuck I could have forgiven you falling for Emily. I mean.. I'm over the moon over Katie so I get it. I get wanting to stick that cock in something so pretty all the time."_

 _Cook had his eyes closed. He needed to tune him out. His body felt literally drained and knew he couldn't keep fighting with the restraints. The pain was close to unbearable but he was holding on. He'd almost pissed himself a couple of times. He knew Luke would laugh and get off on it if he had. As it was, the psycho was rambling. He probably hated that more than the pain. "Shut.. up."_

 _There was a loud laugh. "I'm sorry Cook... did you say something?" He laughed again. "You're telling me? Telling me to shut up?"_

 _"Yeah... fucking tosser.. Always running.. yer fuckin' mouth..." Cook opened his eyes and looked up. "I'm pissing you off... so you talk..." Luke wasn't laughing. "It's what you do... shit don't work your way and you start movin' your fuckin' lips."_

 _"You're chatty yourself. Don't suppose you can tell me where Emily is huh?" He crouched down. "You can end this. Tell me where she is. I stop hurting you. I stop... talking. What do you say?"_

 _Cook laughed even if it hurt everywhere. "I say fuck you." He let out another laugh. "I say fuck you.. you psycho bastard... you and your fuckin' cunt of a girlf..." He didn't get anything else out. He was hit across the face hard._

 _"Fuck this. Get him up! Get that fucker up on his feet!" Luke was yelling. He threw the bottle against the wall as the two boys with him uncuffed Cook and pulled him up off the cot. He grunted when his foot hit the floor. The pain rocketing up his leg to his fucked up knee. He almost passed out. They were holding him up by his arms. The first few blows were delivered to his torso. Then a few more to his face. He knew he had pushed the right button. Just then there was a loud thud upstairs. Loud enough for it to draw Luke's attention and the boys. "What the fuck is happening up there?" He went to grab for his own gun but he had left it in the bedroom. It would have been too tempting to shoot Cook by mistake. "Let him go. Get upstairs and find out what that was."_

 _His body dropped mercilessly to the ground and he couldn't do more than grunt. All he could think of was he'd been so close to getting out. One of the boys was faster than the other and had been halfway up the steps when he was shot dead. The other one came back down and stood between Luke and the stairs, gun drawn. He fired off a few rounds and hit one of the men coming down. But then he himself was hit and he fell dead on top of Cook. Luke went for his gun but found himself shot in the leg. He fell back as he took hold of the weapon. He fired off one round but was quickly disarmed as he was hit in the upper arm. He dropped the pistol. He was looking up when someone came to him. "Bring him upstairs. Then grab the other bodies and dump them down here."_

 _.._

Cook opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. He was in a shared room but the curtain was drawn around him. He couldn't really move. His body was in various states of pain. He knew had likely been given enough painkillers to knock most people out. He didn't know whether to curse his youthful experiments in drugs or not. His leg was in traction and thoroughly wrapped up all the way down to his foot. He was thankful for that. Even if with the bandages it looked twice the width it normally was. He pressed the call button. He wanted to see the girls, make sure they were ok.

He thought he remembered seeing Effy at one point. But it could have been a dream. It didn't take long for the nurse to come in. "You should be asleep young man." She smiled at him as she approached. She checked the IV and adjusted one of the gauges.

"My friends..."

"Are asleep. It's 2 in the morning." She put her hand on his good arm and stroked it. She was older and he thought she was trying to be motherly. If only she knew, he'd never known such a thing.

"They ok?" He asked. His voice a little drawn out. She smiled at him.

"They're ok luv. Rest. Your body needs it." He was about to interrupt but she was getting blurrier. He barely grasped that she'd given him more medication as his eyes closed.

..

 _Luke had been taken upstairs to one of the bedrooms. He knew it was Emily's and Cook's. He didn't know why this was. He went to ask and was hit with the butt of a pistol. He dropped to the bed and groaned. His leg and arm were bleeding all over the bed. A man walked into the room. When he looked up, Luke laughed. "Jameson... really? You're back? Does daddy know?" He laughed louder. He knew Jameson's father had ousted him from the city just before Luke was allowed to expand. He hadn't wanted his son to end up dead in a crime war nobody wanted. He turned over and sat up on the edge of the bed. "Seems you're out of place."_

 _Jameson shrugged. "I'm where I should be. You're done." He shook his head. "You went after what was mine."_

 _"What was yours? I recall the drug trade being... divvied up..."_

 _"Not that." He stared at Luke. "Laura. She was... a friend."_

 _"A friend... All this for a friend?" Luke looked at him. "I didn't kill'er. If that's what this is for, it wasn't me."_

 _"No. It wasn't you." He gave a nod to one of his men who let out a whistle. In seconds, the room was overrun with six other men. Between them, Luke was held down and stripped, placed face down on the bed. He struggled but found his good arm broken. Jameson got close to him. "You took her from me with your stupid ideas. You made her into something I didn't want." He was interrupted by Luke's scream. He was being brutally taken by someone without mercy. "You gave her the perfect bait and she let go of what little control she had." He gripped Luke's face. "I'd make this more painful if I could, but I think it'll be painful enough. Think of it. Every cock that goes in your arse... will take your pretty girl's cunt." He felt a bit of a resurgence in Luke's struggle but he was held down. "I'll have her ripped to shreds by the time I'm done. And you can know that it was all your doing." He let go of his face. "I killed Laura. Did it with my own hands. And Emily... she'll be well taken care of from now on." He stood and walked out. He stopped by one of his men._

 _"Don't take all day. Be diligent and don't leave... evidence. Then empty a gun in his face. I don't want an open casket." He was whispering as if Luke could be able to hear him above all his own screaming._

 _"What about Fitch?"_

 _"She's not here. If she comes home, don't hurt her." He met the man's eyes. "I know what I said to him but she's not to be harmed. If she shows up, bring her up here to see what's left of him but don't physically hurt her. I promised." He left the house. He was having a drink in a bar down the road twenty minutes later when he got the phone call._

 _.._

Effy had curled up next to Emily and they'd both fallen asleep. A nurse woke them up a little later and ushered the brunette back to her own room. She hadn't told the twin about her sister. She would eventually but telling her what she had divulged so far had taken its toll. It had been such a long time since she'd felt this tired. _Not since Tony_. She'd woken up and been poked and prodded. Then she was told she could likely be released in the next day or so if she behaved. The nurse thought she was amusing. Effy didn't.

She was surprised when Jameson walked into her room. "Get out." He smiled and shook his head. He had a small carry-on bag. "Get _out_."

"Effy... We both know I will do as I please." She went to reach for the call button. "Don't do that. It would be... unfortunate if we had company. You and I can keep our mouths shut. Can others?" She withdrew her hand and stared at him. "See. You're smart." He put the bag aside. "You and the others will need something to wear when you're released. Well... you and Emily. The other two will be here longer before seeing the outside world."

"I'm not buying what you're trying to sell."

"You already bought it." He took a seat by her bed. "The moment you left your flat." She glared at him. "What did you think would happen? Were you going into the situation guns blazing and saving Cook? Oh right... you weren't armed."

"I was."

"No. You _weren't_. The knife you had with you was much too insignificant. You saw." She said nothing but he kept his eyes on hers. He was intrigued by her. "Did you tell her?" He knew she hadn't. It wasn't something to be blurted out and there hadn't been enough time for them to share such an intimacy. "Thought not. No one will tie you to it. The gun used wasn't recovered." She held her breath.

..

 _A couple of his men had still been close to the house when Jameson had sent them word to head back. He described the women and one man they might run into and not to hurt them. They hadn't left the property too much earlier, having done what he'd commanded. They'd left Luke's mutilated body in that room. His face a mess of bullet holes and mauled flesh._

 _They were in the drive, noticing the newly arrived black car still warm, when they heard the gunshot. They rushed in to see Naomi and Emily under fire. They took out the threat immediately and tried to calm the one woman who was still conscious. One of the men started to run towards the cellar where they'd left the man to die when a woman with a pistol came through the door. He held his hands up but she fired. The gun didn't go off and she fell to her knees. Her eyes fell on the two women lying on the ground and she screamed._

..

"You have it." Effy was feeling ill. He had the gun she'd used to kill Katie.

"Yes."

"Are you blackmailing me?" He shook his head. "Then what?"

"Emily." The look on her face would have him incinerated on the spot if she could.

"Why... She's suffered enough. Leave her out of it."

"No."

"No?" Her voice was rising and he could see her intent to get up and go after him. He held a hand up.

"I'm not saying she hasn't suffered enough. I just mean I won't leave her out of it." Effy was on her feet. He remained seated. "She needs help you can't give her. The blonde can't give it to her either."

"And you can?"

"Yes. But indirectly." She stayed on her feet. If she wasn't attached to the IV, she might be tempted to strike at him. "She needs therapy."

"Noted. Go the fuck away now."

"No. Effy." She took a step. "I get that you care. It's obvious. I've been to your flat, seen your work laid out on the wall." That froze her blood. "You aren't untouchable. She's not untouchable. Not from me, not from a lot of people. She was witness to a lot of... events. Some people would want her silenced. Some people would wipe all of you out simply for having a toe in the water." He pointed to the bed. "Please sit." She did but only cause she was feeling sick. "You all stepped into it the moment you came across her. You could have walked away but you chose to not. She may not even be aware of what she's seen, who she's been _with_." His face was grim. "I have... connections. Deep ones. If she's associated with me, if you all are, then you will be kept safe." She felt even more nauseous. He saw her color change and stood up. He grabbed the waste bin in time for her to lurch forward and vomit.

..

Emily woke up and winced. She'd fallen asleep after they'd brought her breakfast. Effy hadn't been back and she imagined the nurses were keeping a closer eye on her as she'd proven to be ambulatory against their wishes. She'd spoken to the doctor and he'd explained her wound was fairly superficial. It had pierced the thigh but it wasn't too deep into the actual leg. It had met some opposition from another body. _Naomi._ She'd been hit by two bullets. One that went into her and the other went through her and into Emily. She stopped herself from crying then. She'd asked about Naomi's condition.

At first, the doctor had been reticent to speak since she wasn't next of kin. But he relented and told her she was still in critical care. She was young, physically fit and expected to make a full recovery but she hadn't regained consciousness and she'd lost a fair bit of blood. She would likely get moved to a regular room once she was awake. She'd then pushed her luck and asked about Cook. He smiled at her and shook his head but then he told her anyway. She'd been provided a wheelchair per her request.

She wheeled herself to Cook's room and stopped at the door. His eyes were closed. There was swelling and bruising. She imagined most of his body had the same discoloration. He looked so young. _You're not old. Neither is he._ She smiled sadly as she took in the way his leg was suspended. It looked painful and monstrous. "You gonna stay there gawkin'?" He opened one eye and half-smiled at her.

"Hey." She said it softly as if her voice could bring him more pain. She got the wheelchair as close as she could. She reached out and took hold of his hand. She'd seen the bandage on his other arm. "I'm sorry."

"What for little twin?" He grimaced at the nickname. He met her eyes and squeezed her hand. He realized it wouldn't apply anymore. He thought about the cellar. The smell of blood, other smells as the bodies voided themselves. "How're you feelin'?"

Emily shook her head. "Barely a scratch. What about you? Looks like you took a bit of a spill yeah?" She wasn't minimizing it. They both knew what had caused his injuries and why. They'd lived with the demons long enough to know their methods.

"You should see the other guy."

"Should I?" She played with his fingers.

"Naw... Heard he's gone though. Good thing yeah?" Emily nodded. "How's blondie?"

"I haven't seen her yet. But Effy said she was ok." _She told me the same about you and here you are looking like you got run over._ She recalled what the doctor had said about the two bullets. "I think I'm afraid to see her."

"Why?" Cook wished he could sit up more. He wanted to comfort her.

"This... it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't..."

"Emily.. don't. Don't do that. Don't you be doin' that. What happened... it wasn't like it was the church choir..."

"No. But Effy and Naomi. They weren't a part of it. They wouldn't be hurt if not cause of me."

"Effy was still involved with me. We don't know what could've happened. So stop. It won't help anyone. Not you. Not them." She looked at his leg. "Emily."

"She's dead Cook. My sister is dead."

"I know. I was there." He answered quietly.

..

He was rubbing her back as she dry heaved. A nurse came in and helped him with her. They got her back into bed. Effy was dizzy. She couldn't think about what he'd said. It was too much. She started panicking. The nurse tried getting her to calm down. When that wasn't working, she was given a sedative. In other circumstances, Jameson would have been asked to leave. But he lined certain pockets and his presence was overlooked. Effy eventually calmed down as he sat there on his mobile.

"What do you want?" Her voice was even and she felt like she was slightly underwater. She didn't want to fall asleep with him there. He looked at her.

"Frankly... I'm not at all certain." He put his phone away and stood up. He approached her and put his hands in his trouser pockets. "I didn't want to be back here. Not for business. I was happier being away." He looked at her hand. "But circumstances being what they were... I had to come back." He looked into her eyes. "You're smart. I can use your skills in a pinch. But I don't have a real use for you on a day-to-day. The blonde... no use at all. Cook..." He chuckled. "He'll be in pain for a long while... prick took a lot, I'll grant him that. Tough one. But he's damaged goods."

"Emily?" She closed her eyes and felt her stomach drop at the thoughts in her head. She couldn't let that happen. She opened her eyes and tried to move but found his hand on her good shoulder. He held her in place as she stared at him. The look full of anger.

"I do like her. If it wasn't because I like her, you'd _all_ be dead." He was amused by Effy. She was so utterly protective. "But she's broken." He let her shoulder go. "Maybe once she's better... who knows?" He shrugged his shoulders as he saw the emotion in her eyes change. "You thought I wanted her like they did? It's why you said what was it... 'the same kind of sick'." He shook his head. "I'm not an angel. And you all are, _in some ways_ , mine now... But I don't take what's not offered freely. Especially when it comes to women." He turned to leave, stopping at the door. " _She_ did ask for my help when she called. She wanted me to save you and Cook. I told her what I wanted. She didn't say no. But when she's better, she can decide what she wants. I'll be seeing you though." He walked out and Effy curled up on her side to cry.

..

 _Cook was crawling. He glimpsed Effy heading up the stairs. He couldn't follow. He couldn't stand. Even the crawling was taking what energy he had. But he crawled to her. Katie was lying on her side where Effy had left her, coughing up blood. Her eyes met his. She would have tried to kill him but she no longer had a weapon. Her eyes were full of hatred. He lurched forward and pushed her on her back, his body now askew on top of hers. He could feel her trying to breathe. Her arms came up to push against him but he held on to her, using his dead weight to keep her in place._

 _"You ain't going near her... again..." He was breathing heavy as she was breathing shallower. He could see the fear in her eyes._

 _"She'll..." She coughed and tried swallowing the blood coming up. "hate... you." She felt herself choking on the blood. She was frantic and tried to push once more but he held on. He met her eyes._

 _"But she'll be free of you." He held on as she pushed and tried to kick him off until there was no fight left in her. It didn't take long. Before he knew it, there were other people in the room but he lost consciousness._


	30. Chapter 29

another one down... 4 more to go

thank you to marsupial for being my port in every storm... love ya babes

thank you to all my readers... I love you all...

And hearty thanks to my dedicated reviewers... mynameislizzie2, tiger trap, dammit naomily...

a good nod to art and entertainment in all its forms..

warning: not much...

cheers

* * *

Chapter 29

 _Naomi was sitting on the beach. The waves coming up to her toes but no farther. She wondered when the tide would change and she would need to move. The sun was out but the light breeze was making it perfect. She was wearing cut-offs and a t-shirt. A shadow fell over her and she looked up. She almost growled. "There's plenty of beach. I'm sure you can find somewhere else."_

 _"I could... but you know I won't." Cook took a seat next to her. He was shirtless and she could see the tattoos adorning his torso. He stretched out. "So blondie..."_

 _"I've got a fucking name."_

 _"I know... but I like riling you up."_

 _"Your presence alone does that. No need for monikers."_

 _"For what? Yeah.. anyway..." He leaned up on his elbows. "How're you feelin'?"_

 _"I was fantastic until some bellend came along." He laughed._

 _"Ain't that always the way?" He looked at the waves. "That's odd ain't it? Anyways, how're you really feelin'?"_

 _"We're not friends."_

 _"We should be... we need to be... for them."_

 _"I'm sure they'll survive if we don't braid each other's hair."_

 _"Survive, yeah... They'll survive it all... they're strong."_

 _"Yeah they are."_

 _"But do you want them surviving? Or do you want them 'appy?"_

Naomi groaned and opened her eyes. She fought off panic as the breathing tube was still present. Her mind knew what it was but her body was still struggling with the intrusion now that she was awake. A nurse was by her side and it didn't take long for the offensive thing to be removed. She coughed and everything ached. Her mind was cloudy. The nurse was speaking and somewhere she was grasping what she was saying but it wasn't sinking in. She looked around and noticed the IV, the machines. She was in critical care. She heard the word doctor and nodded.

..

Effy had stopped crying and decided on getting out of the hospital. She asked for help to grab a shower and have her bandages changed. The nurse wasn't thrilled but the brunette threatened to do it on her own. She had looked through the carry-on Jameson had left and grabbed her own clothes out of it. It rattled her at how he'd helped himself to her things. She couldn't deny his claim about being in her flat. There was a set of new clothes and she knew they were for Emily. She also found a framed picture of their family. It made her heartache. She didn't know where he'd gotten it but could presume it had been in Emily's own bedroom. _Or Katie's._ She was certain she hated him.

She dressed as the nurse came in with the doctor. She gave them a look as the doctor started going on about it being premature in her departure. She sat on the bed and listened. She shook her head and told them while she accepted there were medical reasons for her to remain one more day but none seemed life-threatening. She gave them a solid reason for wanting to ensure her psychological well being and her aversion to hospitals. The doctor was impressed with her eloquence and accepted signing her release. The nurse was oddly put out and Effy figured she was one of the people keeping Jameson in the know.

..

Emily had spent time with Cook but she had to return to her room. She was tired. She couldn't have imagined feeling this emptiness. She knew Katie wasn't good to her. She knew that, understood it. But the loss of her was heavy on her heart. They'd never spent time apart. Not really. That one summer was the longest. Emily thought to that and how it had created a void in her life. She'd been stripped of everything she knew and wanted for months. And then what was provided to her was through Katie. Katie alone. Her parents were never aware of the control she had been subjected to. She could have never told them. She thought about them and realized she was alone. _James_. He'd been lost to her long ago. She got into bed and lay there staring at the ceiling.

She heard the wheels before she looked up. She thought it was the IV stand once again and she smiled. But it was a carry-on bag Effy was dragging behind her. She was no longer wearing the hospital gown. "Eff? They let you out already?"

"Something like that." She set the luggage aside and stood away from the bed. "Those are yours. Your friend brought them." She didn't look up at Emily. She had conflicting thoughts. She felt guilt at killing her sister. But she felt rage and sadness at the situation they were in now. She was blaming Emily for that mostly. Even if her own actions had precipitated the twin's choice to reach out. "I need to get out of here. I'm to follow up with my doctor or the A&E if there's certain things that happen.. fever, infection... but I can't stay."

"My friend?" Emily wasn't sure who she meant at first. _Jameson_. _She's angry with me because of him._ She sighed. "He's not my friend."

"He's something isn't he? You made deal?" Effy still couldn't look at her.

"Yeah." Emily played with the sheet. "I needed to."

"No. You didn't." She met her eyes then.

"Right cause I could ignore that you'd gone off on your own. Cause I could ignore the look in Naomi's eyes when she realized what you were up to?" Emily was feeling angry herself.

Effy felt chastised. "I'm... God Emily... you made a deal with a fucking viper. Did you not think what could happen?"

"Yes! I fucking thought about it!" She was trying to tell herself to calm down but it wasn't happening. "Do you think I'm a complete fucking idiot? Do you?" Effy's eyes went wide. "I'm not. I never have been." She was shaking with anger. A nurse came in to see what the problem was. "Get out. Just get the fuck out."

Effy ushered the nurse out as best she could and shut the room door. "They'll probably send someone else in."

"Fucking let them. I'll tell them to fuck off too." She wanted to stand up. She didn't want to feel helpless. "I am not an idiot Effy. I may have made stupid fucking choices. I may have let myself be..." She couldn't say it. She couldn't say the word used. That was her own cowardice as she called it. "But I called him _knowing_ what I might have to do. I was _willing_ to do that. I didn't want anyone fucking hurt anymore cause of _me_." She was hiccuping with emotion. "I can... If I get hurt... I can.. _handle_ that. But someone I care... someone I love.." She shook her head and felt the tears falling. "I can't..."

"And what of us watching you get hurt?" Effy was speaking quietly. She was too worn out. She had needed to leave here. It was why she'd come to drop off the bag. So she could escape. So she could breathe. "Ems..."

"Is that why you didn't tell me you shot her?"

"What?" Effy took a step back. The question hit her in the chest and she wasn't ready for it.

"You shot her." Emily was glaring at her. Effy couldn't form the words to respond.

"It was..."

" _After_ she shot you." Her voice was calmer than it had been. She hadn't wanted the conversation to happen so soon. She hadn't meant to bring it up. But Effy was walking out of the hospital and she'd tossed Jameson in her face. The dumbstruck brunette had to find the chair next to Emily's bed. She needed to sit. She wasn't ready. "She shot you Effy. Katie shot at you while you were on your knees. You shot her in self-defense. Did you think I wouldn't understand?"

..

The doctor had come in and given her a rundown of her injuries. The first bullet had gone in at an angle. It ripped through a lot of muscle, nicked the kidney but exited fairly cleanly. Surgery was minimally invasive. She'd lost more blood while laying on the floor in that house. They were monitoring the kidney. They were hopeful that it wouldn't be a long term concern. The second bullet bounced off her ribs mostly. She was going through every possible worst-case scenario she could in her mind. Working in emergency services allowed her too much information. The nurses told her she'd had a couple of visitors while she was out. One was a patient and the other a gentleman in a suit who didn't leave a name. She didn't think much about the guy, imagined it was police of some kind.

Much as she tried she couldn't remember how she had gotten to hospital. She recalled getting to that house with Emily, getting as far as the open door. But everything else seemed to get fuzzy after that. She drifted off soon after the doctor left her side.

 _"I didn't want you to follow me."_

 _"Really? Hadn't sorted that out for myself." Naomi was still looking out at the waves but Cook was gone. Effy sat cross-legged next to her._

 _"So? Why did you?"_

 _"Why did I?" Naomi turned and faced her, anger pouring out of her. "Cause you're as close to being my sister as you possibly could be you crazy bitch. Jesus... why the fuck else would I?"_

 _"You could've stayed with her in the flat. Been a little selfish. Given yourself a chance at a future."_

 _"How's me choosing to stay behind given me a chance at a future as you say?"_

 _"Hmm... less bullets, more sex." Effy laughed. "Do you understand what happened Naoms? Do you get that everything she knew is gone?"_

 _"Don't see that as a bad thing."_

 _"Her sister is gone."_

 _"Again, see previous statement."_

 _"You rushed in to save your sister..."_

 _"But that's... it's different... you're..."_

 _"What? I'm what Naomi?" Effy touched the sand with her hand and the waves came up to meet her fingers. It was far enough that the blonde had to move to not get wet. "They were still sisters."_

 _"But it shouldn't... She hurt Emily. She fucking abused her... She can't obviously be..."_

 _"Upset? In mourning? I don't know. You may need to evaluate your empathy levels." She drew on the sand. "Why do you think she never left in all those years? Do you think she enjoyed being their pet?" She shook her head._

 _"Shit."_

She woke up and pressed the call button.

..

"How did...I... I don't know what I thought. I couldn't... when we talked... there was so much... too much. I didn't know how to say it. I'm so sorry."

"About what? Shooting her and saving yourself? Saving Cook?" Emily shook her head and looked at her hands. "Or sorry you didn't think I could handle it?" Effy felt her heart in a vicegrip. "I get it. I get people looking at me like I'm fucking helpless... and maybe I am in some ways. I don't know. But we do things... we do things to survive. I wanted you to survive. You, Cook. Naomi..." She let out a little laugh. "Naomi put herself in the middle of everything... for me. Not for anyone else Effy. Me. She had no reason to. She wasn't..."

"She loves you." It was all Effy could say.

"She fell for me when I was a child." Effy nodded. "I'm not _her_ any more. She doesn't know who I am. But she still put herself in there for _me_. No one's ever..." She stopped talking to prevent herself from falling apart. Two nurses came in then. Emily shook her head. "I don't want to be sedated. I'm not out of sorts... or needing it. Please.." The nurses looked at Effy.

"No more yelling. I hear you yelling I will need to..."

"I get it." Emily said and they took their leave. She laid back on the bed. "I have all these... thoughts.. about what happened... My entire life... Some make sense. Some don't." She wiped at her eyes. "Some... are fucked up beyond words Effy... so fucked up..." She looked at her. "You know." Effy nodded. She remembered the incident years ago. They hadn't talked about it but it was there. "So many things... I'm not proud. But some things I did to get through the day... through the night... to survive. They may not have been the right things, but I'm still here."

"You are."

"And I made a deal with him to make sure you survived. That you all survived." She took a deep breath, remembering he'd promised not to hurt Katie.

"How?" Emily tilted her head at the question. "How did you know what happened?" Emily gave her a smile.

"Cook. I took a wheelchair and went to see him. We talked." She let out another deep breath. They seemed to feel clearer. "He told me what happened." Effy looked at her lap at the words. "And he told me how _you_ didn't kill her." Her head snapped up. Emily shook her head. Fresh tears forming. "You didn't kill her Effy. You shot her but she didn't die cause of that."

"What do you mean?" She was confused.

"Cook killed her Effy." There was a deafening silence between them.

"No. I shot her..."

"And you put her on her side... so she could breathe." Effy was pale. She vaguely recalled doing that. "She was breathing when you walked upstairs. Cook..." Her voice was stricken with sadness. "He couldn't let her live."

"No... he didn't.. he couldn't..." She knew he'd killed before. But this wasn't something she believed him capable of. _He's a cop. He was a cop_.

"He did. He told me... how it happened. How she died. How he made sure she did." The words were heavy on her tongue. She wasn't sure what she felt toward him. He'd protected her as best he could all this time. He still hadn't stopped. He'd endured what could have been a life-ending beating to keep his mouth shut, to give her a chance at being free. And he'd done something almost unforgivable to insure her freedom. She let herself cry softly. For her sister. For him. For herself.

..

"I need to speak to someone." Naomi was trying to get the nurse to move. She'd pressed the button and she came diligently but she was doing fuck all to listen. She was too intent on checking the IV, her vitals and the like. "Look I'm happy you're efficient but I need to talk to a patient. Can you find her for me? Or find a way to contact her now that I'm no longer... Hello?"

"Ms. Campbell." The nurse looked at her directly. "I've already left word for Ms. Stonem that you were awake. No need to fret. As soon as she receives the message, I'm sure she'll be right down. She's been keen on seeing your progress." She helped Naomi sit up a bit. "I think we can get you on solids in another day or so but I'd be glad to have some broth brought up."

"Yeah.. yeah.. that's fine." She wasn't hungry, not that she was aware of. She really wanted to talk to Emily as well but she didn't know if she was a patient or not. She'd hoped not but her lack of memories prevented from saying what was and wasn't a certainty.

..

"Cook... you're in a shitstorm of trouble." Goddard was speaking to him now that he was awake and alert. "I need you to give me something."

"I've given you everything I had. Before all this 'appened." He was still only covered by a single sheet. He didn't feel as vulnerable nearly naked as he did by voicing his version of the truth. "I told you... I told Harry..."

"He's dead."

"No shit Sherlock. Be headin' off to the Yard now?" He knew mouthing off wouldn't help anyone but the last time he spoke to this guy, he'd practically been gagging to throw Emily under the bus. He knew it wasn't him as much as it had been Harry.

"Don't be cheeky."

"Not my fault you had a rat in the hen house mate. I did what I was tasked to do. I reported back to my 'andler. I did my fuckin job."

"How many dead cause you did your job?" Cook was shaking his head.

"Naw man. You can't pull that shit. I was taken there... handed over to those fucks by Harry. He was on the take. He bloody sold me out. Sold that girl out too."

"Emily."

"Yeah... your dick was 'ard to go after her and her sister but she got nothin' to do with it." He wanted a smoke.

"Her sister's dead too." Goddard looked at Cook who looked away.

"Yeah... I got that."

"Leaves only Emily to pin the drug business to." The false threat set a fire in Cook. He damn near exploded off the bed if not for his leg in traction.

"Fuck it does. You try that and I'll go to the papers. Tell them everything that's been going on. I'll fuckin' start naming people including Harry and tell them what a cock up this all was."

"You'd kill your career."

"Newsflash dicksplash. I don't have a fucking career. You took my badge remember?" Goddard sniffed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine. I'll have a court reporter come down to help take your official statement. If it matches what evidence we have, we'll see about not going after her. But someone has to answer for all the bodies."

"Ain't me. I was being put through a meat grinder in that cellar."

"And you saw no one?" He shook his head. "No one at all?" Cook pointed to his bruised face.

"Busy being fucked in the head. Bit of a cloudy day." Goddard nodded and left.

..

Effy had gotten a call and left it to voicemail. She was still sitting in Emily's hospital room. She had called for a nurse and asked for help with a shower. She had it in her head that if Effy could leave so could she. The brunette hadn't argued. She couldn't. She was still in shock over what she'd found out. She'd been dreading the moment where she had to come clean only to find out she was wrong. _Does it matter who killed her? She's gone. Emily has to suffer that loss either way. It matters. Why?_ She wasn't sure why. She listened to the voicemail. She knocked on the loo's door and told Emily she'd be back. She didn't tell her where she was headed. _She might want to know Naomi's awake. Yeah but I need to see her first. I need to talk to her_.

She hustled as much as she could to Naomi's floor. She was in the critical care recovery unit for the time being. She would be moved by the time Effy came back to see her again. She walked into the section and got barely a glance. Her arm was throbbing. She needed to remind herself to stop and get her prescription filled before going to her flat. The IV has provided relief from the pain as well as keeping her hydrated. The blonde was sitting up and looking disgustedly at some liquid in front of her. "Not up to your culinary standards?" Effy managed to say. It was softer than she'd expected but Naomi smiled. She didn't look up, merely played with a spoon.

"I'd say. It's disastrous. How is anyone to work up an appetite over this is a marvel." She looked at Effy. The sadness on her face hurt. "Hey... what's the matter?" She put the spoon in the broth and stretched out her hand far as she could. The pain in her side didn't leave for much reach. Effy moved forward and took her hand. Hugging was out of the question but this would be enough. "Why are you sad? Is it Emily or Cook?" She hated asking about him but she knew how much he was cared for by the girls. She shook her head.

"Emily's ok. She got hurt but it's minor. Cook... he'll spend time recovering but he'll be ok too."

"Then why are you sad?" She brought Effy's hand to her lips. "You know I hate when you're sad."

"The state of you." Naomi gave her a crooked smile.

"None of that. I'm here aren't I?" She squeezed her hand. "Really Effs... I'm ok."

"If you say so..."

"I do."

"Good. Glad that's done with." They stood in silence as they took each other in.

"How bad's the shoulder?"

"Bullet went through. Some muscle damage. Likely some nerves. I won't be playing piano any time soon."

"You don't play the piano."

"Then I should be all set." They giggled.

"Gonna tell me what happened?"

"Haven't a choice, do I?" Naomi shook her head. "Let's get on with it."

..

Emily was dressed and waiting for Effy in her hospital room. She'd asked for the doctor to come speak to her about getting discharged. The nurse had brought crutches for her to practice with after telling her it would be best if she at least stayed one more day. There was a small voice telling her this might not be the smartest plan but she didn't want to be cooped up here any longer. She didn't know what Effy was doing by leaving early. But she wasn't letting her do it alone. The nurse let her be as she went in search of the doctor.

When she'd gotten clothes out of the carry-on she found the framed photograph of her family. Her heart had lurched. It was the one she kept in her bedroom at the house. She stared at it and a wave of sadness passed through her. She couldn't help it. She'd lost them. She'd lost all of them. Her fingers traced their outlines. She could still remember how her father hugged. How her mother and father loved each other. She remembered how her brother would squeak and curse when they boxed his ears after one of his inappropriate comments. Her sister. She couldn't think about her. She put the frame back in the bag. She went into the side table and opened the drawer. She pulled out the phone he'd left her. She sighed. If she was leaving hospital, she needed to let him know, didn't she?

 _You made the deal. Time to pay up_. She sighed and sent off a text. _Get it over with_.

..

"We've talked about this before." Jameson listened as he looked at his phone and saw the message. _Getting out of hospital. When do you want to meet?_ He was frowning. "Mr. Mather." He finally looked up at the man sitting across from him. "We talked about the phone as well. It's supposed to be off."

"It's on vibrate." He received a stare. He put the phone away without answering the message. "Happy? No. You never are."

"It's not about me being happy or not being happy. It's about straying from the topic." Jameson nodded and set about picking at lint off his trousers. "Tell me about this young woman who has your attention."

"What's to tell? She's a woman. I'm a man." He knew it wasn't that simple. But he wasn't about to go into it when even he wasn't certain what he wanted, what he could have.

"That's a cop out Mr. Mather. But I'll allow it for the moment. What happened to L?"

"She's gone."

"Yes. But what happened?"

"No clue. Police found her body." He wasn't about to go into that either.

"If you're not going to be up front, then why are we meeting?"

"Because we both know I'm not good on my own." He looked at the man and hated admitting this.

"Then tell me what happened with L. You were still seeing each other?"

"On occasion. But it was... We simply couldn't let go. Too much history and no future." The man nodded. "She... changed. Got worse. It had to end." The man nodded again. He knew not to push certain things. It would yield no answers.

"And this young woman who has your attention. Is she a replacement? A rebound?" Jameson shook his head. "So what is she?"

"I frankly don't know." He scratched at his jaw. He was telling the truth. "She intrigues me. At the very least. But perhaps... who knows.. in some future..."

..

"Jesus..."

"Yeah." There was a silence between them as Naomi digested everything. They'd spoke quietly so as not to be overheard. There was a lot less privacy in the critical care unit. Effy shifted uncomfortably where she stood. Between what she'd divulged and her damn shoulder, she was feeling less than herself. "How are you feeling?"

"Me?" Naomi tried to laugh but winced when she did. "I've been better. But I'm ok all things considering." She leaned her head back. "I think this is probably best case we could have asked for." She chanced a look at Effy who wasn't looking at her. She saw the darkness in her eyes. _Anguish. Not sure if I prefer that to the anxiety. Seems more dire_. "Hey." The brunette looked up as did her mask of indifference. The blonde sighed. "I see you. And you're not ok." She shrugged. "This... what went on... extreme circumstances."

"Mistress of the understatement?" She flashed a smile but it was sad.

"Effy."

"Naomi."

"Call Tony." She shook her head. "Call him."

"He's busy."

"He is. But he loves you and you need him." Another shake of the head. "If you don't, I will." There was a flash of anger but then something else. Naomi was trying to suss it out when it hit her. "No... you didn't." Effy shrugged. "Fuck's sake. Why?"

"I don't know. Let's see. You got shot. You could've..." She bit her lip and met her eyes. _There. That's it. Guilt. She feels guilty. Fuck_. Naomi hated not being able to move.

"I didn't. So stop it."

"You stop it."

"Elizabeth." She could see her shrink at the use of her name. "This... this is not your fault."

"Isn't it?"

"No. We knew Emily was involved in things that were out of our realm... we knew it wasn't a good scene. We chose to help. We. If you recall, I started us on this... not you."

"But..."

"But you chose to try and keep me out of it." Naomi fixed her with a look. "Does that ever work out well?" Effy had to smile. A genuine smile. The blonde breathed sigh of relief. She's in there. Good. "So... when?"

"Tomorrow."

"Great. I've got a whole day to prepare." She closed her eyes a moment. "Call Tony." There was a moment where she wondered how hard she would have to push, if she would have to call him herself.

"Ok."

..

Jameson sat in a coffee shop. His mobile sat on the table beside the empty cup. He hadn't answered the message. He'd looked at it enough. His morning meeting hadn't gone as expected and he sat there, tie undone, lost in his thoughts. Both real and not. He recalled many memories. Too many. His fantasies still were unformed. They were like an artists' clay, taking slow shape. But still rough, without true destiny. Once more he picked up the mobile. How easy would it be? Message her. Tell her where and when. Claim what was offered. He knew it was offered in distressed. He knew it wasn't offered exactly but requested of her. He ordered another coffee and put the mobile down.

It would be another hour before he replied. _Not yet. Message me after you've talked to someone_. It wasn't what he craved but it was what he needed.


	31. Chapter 30

Okay... so there was a delay in this chapter... I had a couple of pain in the ass days and then internet outage...

HOWEVER... would anyone be upset if I didn't end this story at ch33? Because I'm likely growing it to 40 to properly deal with a few things.

Thank you to marsupial for having my back... for making sure I don't end up on the 11 o'clock news...

Thank you to all my readers and my amazing troop of loyal reviewers dammit naomily, tigertrap and mynameislizzie2...

no warnings for this one...

* * *

Chapter 30

Emily was nervous. She'd only seen Naomi yesterday for too short a period of time and here she was standing across from her mum. She was trying not to panic. The older woman was looking at her and it was unnerving. She couldn't tell what she was thinking. She chanced a look at Effy who was looking out the window. _Great_. She looked at Naomi who was biting at her lip and avoiding eye contact.

"So this is Emily."

..

 **The day before...**

Emily had resisted using the wheelchair once she was given the crutches. While being on them wasn't exactly a boost to her ego, being out of the wheelchair was better. Both Effy and she looked at the carry-on and knew it wasn't really needed. The only thing in it was the picture in the frame. But she didn't really want to carry it by itself. In the end, Effy wheeled the thing behind her as they got on the lift. Instead of the bottom floor, the brunette selected one floor beneath them earning her a look. "Naomi's awake. She's being switched to a private room. Thought you might like to say hello." Emily's look of happy surprise wasn't lost on her.

They walked into the room and Effy was more than thrilled to find the majority of the machines Naomi had been attached to in critical care were gone. She hated them. Too big of a trigger for the time she almost lost Tony. _You almost lost her._ Emily was slow moving as she was taking in a dozing Naomi. They were practically next to her bed when she opened her eyes. There was an immediate smile on her face that reached her eyes. "Hhhiiii." Effy laughed.

"You got pain meds."

"Shhh... Don't tell anyone. They're really good." She licked her lips and smacked them. "Dry mouth though."

"I'll fetch you water. You can talk to the gimp here."

"Hey!" Emily protested. Effy walked out without even a look at them. She left the damn bag by the door and wished she'd had a purse to stick the picture frame in. It was bad enough she already had enough issues with Jameson as a theory. She didn't need a physical manifestation of his presence in their lives trailing behind her. She talked to the nurse at the station and let them know Naomi needed water. Then she walked to the lift in search for the hospital pharmacy. She would fill her prescription before leaving. She could feel aches. She remembered her conversation earlier with Naomi as she trudged through the halls.

 _"Jameson came by." The blonde didn't say anything. "You're ok with this?"_

 _"With what?" Her voice was a little uneven at the question. Effy glared. They had gone over the events that led them to being in the hospital. They needed to discuss his ongoing and future impact on their lives._

 _"Naomi." They looked at each other. "You really going to sit there and play dumb?"_

 _"What do you want from me Effy?" She looked back down at her hands._

 _"What do I want? I want you to tell me why you let her call him?"_

 _"Oh right... cause I had the mind to stop her." She shook her head. "I wasn't... She called him but I didn't think about it. I was more concerned with getting to you."_

 _"That shouldn't..."_

 _"Shouldn't what?" There were tears in her eyes. "_ You _took off. You took off and at first I thought it was cause you were sad... Cause you said Cook was gone." The tears fell in simple tracks down her cheeks. There was no hiccuping or sobbing. They were tears of release. "I thought you were sad and upset and I could understand needing to be alone... but when I talked to Katie and she said he wasn't dead...I knew... and I was soo scared..."_

 _"Naoms..." She could feel it in her heart, what she was saying._

 _"Don't. Do you know how fucking important you are to me? Do you? I couldn't... I couldn't think of anything but getting to you. Making sure you were ok." Effy took Naomi's hand._

 _"I get it. I do. But Naoms... Jameson..."_

 _"Was the lesser of evils... However fucked that seems..." She sniffed. "I didn't stop her. No. I didn't think about it until the phone call was just about over. And even then... I had to_ not _think about it. Not til I saw you, not til I knew you were safe."_

 _"But Emily..."_

 _"Do you want me to say I fucked up? Is that it? Do you want me to tell you I should have stopped her?" She leaned into the pillow. "I_ know _. You don't have to tell me." She squeezed her hand._

 _"I don't... I don't want you to say that... I don't..." She felt her own voice wavering. "She put herself... and us... in a shitstorm by calling him. And I get that I..._ my _decision to take off like that..." She wiped at her eyes. "It forced you both to that point."_

 _"I think we were a bit fucked no matter what we did. Can't change anything Eff."_

 _"I know." She sighed. "He was in my flat Naomi. He brought me clothes from my own closet." She could see the blonde digest that. "I don't know what she agreed to but it won't stop at just her."_

 _.._

"Have to say... I wish we were meeting under better circumstances luv." Emily paled and Naomi grumbled the word mum under her breath. "Just sayin'. I don't fancy meeting in hospitals is best case for anyone." She looked at Emily standing there with her crutches. "Might as well have seat. Can't imagine standing feels good." The twin gave a nod and took a seat. Her palms were sweaty.

"I'm sorry about all this." Emily said quietly.

"I'd like to know what that means. 'All this.' These two haven't said much." She looked pointedly at Effy and Naomi. "One tells me my daughter's in hospital but fails to mention why. And the patient herself gives me the runaround."

"It's not import..." The blonde started to mutter but was succinctly silenced.

"Naomi Eleanore... I swear if you say it's not important once more, you're going to find out exactly how much of a cow I can be." The fire in her eyes was a scary thing.

"It's my fault." Effy and Emily said it at the same time. If Naomi could have apparated to the Room of Requirements, she most certainly would have.

"Hmm.. so it's my daughter's fault. Excellent." She was glaring at Naomi. "Start at the beginning."

"I can't." Naomi picked at her bed sheet. She didn't want to tell her mum about Emily's life. Not because she was ashamed of her but because it wasn't her place. And she didn't want her mum thinking the worst. _You're a hypocrite. If there was nothing wrong with what's happened, you should be fessing up_.

"Mrs. Campbell." Gina fixed Emily a look. "It's not her fault. She and Effy... they wanted to help me." Gina took a seat at the foot of Naomi's bed.

"I don't care who starts and who ends. Out with all of it. Now."

..

 _"How are you feeling?" Emily asked, unsure of what to say. Naomi smiled._

 _"I... am... goood." Then let out a little giggle._

 _"Right... drugs." She smiled and allowed herself to breathe. "I'm sorry I didn't stop by sooner. I didn't know you were up... and I couldn't... I didn't want to..."_ See you like that. I feel guilty enough as it is. Seeing you laid out like that... I don't know what it would do _._

 _Naomi waved her off. "Not to worry. I was sleeping... deep sleep... It's what happens when they cut into you. First, they knock you out, then they slice and dice. I don't think I'd have wanted to be awake. Wow, you're pale? You ok?"_

 _"Yeah..." The visual of Naomi being cut open was making her feel ill. She hated it. "Still.. anyway... I'm glad you're ok. More than glad."_

 _"Yeah... it makes for a happy Naomi." She giggled. "You..." She pointed to Emily. "Should come up here." She patted the spot next to her on the bed._

 _"Umm... I can sit on the chair. I think you're.."_

 _"Horny? Yup." Naomi giggled and Emily couldn't help but laugh._

 _"No. I meant... you had surgery." She cautiously sat on the edge of the bed._

 _"All stitched up." She lifted her sheet. "All covered too... nothing to see. But other things... less than covered. No knickers."_

 _"Naomi." While there was a sudden warmth in Emily's body, she knew this wasn't the time or place._

 _"Yes?" She tried wiggling her eyebrows and got sidetracked at trying to get them to do what she wanted. Emily breathed her in. She couldn't imagine not being around her, not having her in her life._ But it's possible. You accepted Jameson. You accepted what he proposed. How will that make her feel? _"You're doing that thing."_

 _"What thing?"_

 _"The frowny-lip-biting thing."_

 _"That's a thing?"_

 _"A very sexy thing." Naomi tried reaching out but Emily took her hand and stopped her from likely groping ineffectively. She pouted._

 _"Naomi... we need to talk."_

 _"Nope." She shook her head a little too effusively and winced without realizing it. "You can't break up with me. Absolutely not. I forbid it."_

 _"Break up with you?" Naoms..." Emily was shocked and blushing now. She didn't know what to say. The idea of her and Naomi dating hadn't exactly taken any real foothold but the way the blonde was speaking was making uncontrolled thoughts swirl._

 _"Nope. Nyet. Umm... Shit.. I can't think of anymore but just pretend I'm multilingual. Lingual... it's a dirty feeling when I say that.. like I should be doing something more with..."_

 _"Naomi..." Emily sighed. "You're not going to focus any time soon are you?" Her question was met with soft blue needy eyes. "Ok."_

 _.._

There was a lot of heavy silence when Emily finished talking. While she didn't go into a huge amount of detail, there was enough to process. Gina managed to not interrupt which was more than Naomi could say for herself. Every time the twin was being too negative in her own monologue, the blonde had interjected and Effy had hushed her. It had been over ten minutes of painful silence.

"Mum?" Gina turned to Naomi. "You ok?" She turned and looked at Emily.

"I think a better question is how are you ok?" She was talking to the twin who was looking at her lap and swallowing uncomfortably. "My heart aches for you as a mum alone, not even thinking about it as a woman yet." She walked to her and took her in her arms. "You poor dear."

..

There was a knock on her door and Effy knew who it would be. She had mixed feelings. She walked to the door slowly. One last deep breath and she opened the door. A pair of blue eyes and a smirk were staring back at her. She had tried going without the sling earlier but it was too soon and the weight of her arm pulled on her muscles, her stitches. His eyes went right to the damn thing.

"I can't say that's a fashionable accessory but then again you were always a bit of a trendsetter. Maybe they'll be the rage next season." He smiled at her and she let herself smile back. She stepped aside to let him in.

"Traveling light?" She commented on his lack of luggage.

"Didn't think I'd need it. I've some clothes here, don't I?"

"You do... you might have a few less pieces." He looked at her.

"Naomi dressing in drag finally? It was to be expected. At least, she'll be dressing better. Her sense of style was always questionable." He looked around. The kitchen was cleaned up and the wall no longer held the contents that led them all to be in danger. She didn't want any physical reminders of her own choices, her own need to solve the puzzle. "So who fucked who?" Effy rolled her eyes.

"Wasn't like that."

"What was it like then? Last I knew you were set in a cozy, happily profitable..."

"Tony." With only his name, she managed to quiet him. His face took on a serious semblance and he approached her. She was looking down at her feet. He put his arms around her gently.

"It's alright Eff." He rubbed her back softly staying away from the shoulder area. "You're alright."

"I was scared."

"Ahh.." Three words and they unraveled her. She began sobbing in his arms. Tony tried to keep a steady hold on her without squeezing. She'd messaged him about her shoulder but he didn't have adequate knowledge of anatomy to know how far the wound affected her. But he knew deep down what hospitals did to her. "You're ok." He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and guided her to the couch. He cradled her as she cried.

..

It had been two days since both Gina and Tony had arrived in town. Tony didn't stick around too long after. He'd sat with Effy for a night and gave her his traditional Stonem pep talk which pretty much was they were great and the world still needed to play catch up. While it wasn't entirely soothing, it was enough for his sister to regroup. She'd digested her part in the looming danger. She wasn't sure how to deal with it but had realized that there was no way to have gotten out of the trouble they had been in without help. Especially with Harry being on the take. She'd had a second interview with Goddard. This time at the station. She'd brought with her copies of her email correspondence with the deceased inspector dating back a couple of years to establish a timeline. She'd also brought everything she'd managed to acquire prior to Harry's little cleanup frenzy. Thankfully, he'd allowed his IP address to be captured in one of the entry portals and that corroborated the accusation against him. She breathed a little easier on one level. It meant Cook was in the clear. It also meant less likelihood that Emily would be implicated in anything her sister and Luke had done.

Naomi was scheduled to be released. Her mum was still around and camping out at Naomi's flat. She'd tried to get her to head home sooner but Gina was set on seeing her daughter settled and cared for at home a couple of days before she even thought of heading back to Kieran. The blonde was certain part of it was punishment for being reckless and jumping into a dangerous situation. Her mum understood love and doing things above and beyond the norm but armed drug dealers shooting at her daughter was more than she could dismiss with any casualness.

Effy had managed to convince Gina she could get Naomi home by herself. She'd only been able to do that by sacrificing Emily – without her knowing. She'd gotten them a ride share to Naomi's flat under the pretense of needing to get Gina. When they arrived, she let the twin out and told her she needed to keep her gilfriend's mum occupied. The ride share didn't peel out only because Effy wasn't driving it. But for all intended purposes, she left Emily at the curbside with her jaw on the ground.

When she arrived at the hospital, Naomi was sitting in a wheelchair at the entrance with a displeased looking nurse. No sooner was the car in park, the nurse tried wheeling Naomi to the rear door. But she was out of the chair and slowly hobbling to it. Effy mouthed a thank you to the nurse.

"You know you really should be nicer."

"Eff... I'm being discharged after being shot, heading home to a flat where my mum has decided to squat until I feel more myself... as if I'm anyone other than me... and we have an unpleasant but necessary stop to make." Effy nodded and smiled. "Told you calling Tony was the right thing."

"An 'I told you so Naomi'? Be nice or I'll tell your mum you need special care with your bowel movements." The blonde was grumbling to herself as the driver watched them. Effy gave him the new address. It was a coffee shop about ten blocks over. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"I don't. Neither do you. But at least we're going in it together and not under extreme circumstances." She recalled the end of the conversation between her and Effy.

"You have his number."

"On my phone."

"Right." Naomi took a second. "I want to talk to him." Effy gave her a look befitting a mythical creature. "We're already involved. I think... I want to talk to him and see what it is we can do... what I can do... to get him to leave Emily alone."

"I'm going to put your white horse out to pasture permanently Naomi."


	32. Chapter 31

Another chapter... as I mentioned in the last one... I'll be extending the story until #40.

Yes, you may thank marsupial for her encouragement in my madness... lol...

It also helps that I have a chorus of reviewers... dammit naomily, mynameislizzie2 and tigertrap...

This story will never be quite light and fluffy but less angst and moving forward. There will be a lot to walk through to get our characters where we need them to be... so ... let's keep going..

* * *

Chapter 31

Sitting by the window, Jameson watched the car pull up. He'd been expecting them at any moment. He hadn't laughed while speaking to them but after he'd ended the call he'd chuckled, surprising his driver. He'd given them the address of one of his usual coffee stops when in the city. There were a few to choose from but the place on Whitechapel High was on a high traffic area but allowed for enough anonymity. He refrained from stepping out of the shop and helping as Effy helped Naomi who looked worse for wear. He couldn't imagine being in her current state. He'd never been shot. He didn't plan to be either. He was staring at them as they made their way to him, Naomi sitting down immediately.

"This could have waited." He looked in her eyes. She was both in pain and angry. He thought it looked good on her. "I would have been amenable to having tea or coffee at your flat."

"Fuck you." She growled at him. He chuckled and shook his head. He stood and pulled another chair over for Effy.

"What will you have? Or shall I choose it for you? And don't argue. You look like absolute shit. I don't fancy picking you up off the ground." Effy rolled her eyes.

"Coffee is fine for us both." She squeezed Naomi's arm before she could say anything. He walked to the coffee bar and ordered two lattes, an espresso for himself and some biscuits. He carried everything to the table and sat across from them.

"Now... let's have a civilized conversation." He looked at Naomi. "That means you refrain from profanity and I'll refrain from walking out and ignoring the two of you from here on out." He smiled as he could see the blonde wishing him dead. "Good. Now why am I here exactly?"

..

Emily had made her way to the flat's door. She was hesitating as she'd never been alone with Gina before. _You only met her a few days ago_. She knocked before she could change her mind. The door was opened within a couple of minutes. "Emily luv. How are you?" She was enveloped in a hug as she stood there with her crutches. "Where are the girls?"

"Umm... Effy went to get Naomi. She told me..." _To spend time with my girlfriend's mum._ Emily blushed and looked down. "She said I should wait here with you."

"Probably smart. Still being on those things. Come in, come in. Take a seat and I'll put the kettle on." She was ushered inside before Gina closed the door. She stood there a little while. The older woman already bustling in the kitchen. Emily had never been in Naomi's flat before and she couldn't help but look around. Her heart felt like it was about to burst it was beating so hard. She went to the shelves and noticed some photographs. Younger Naomi. Naomi and Effy. Naomi's mum. Her mum and some bloke with a beard making a face at the camera. She smiled as she looked at everything. There wasn't too much. A few books. She felt a creeping sense of guilt as if she was trespassing. Did Naomi know she would be here? Was it ok for her to look at her life without her around? She swallowed as Gina spoke up.

"How are you feelin luv?"

"I'm ok." She smiled and hobbled over to the couch. "Sorry I was only looking. I was curious."

"No need to apologize. If Naomi didn't want them looked at, she'd put them away." She sat next to Emily. "How are you other than your leg is what I'm asking?"

"I don't..." She was looking down but hadn't realized it until Gina lifted her chin gently with her fingers.

"Of course you don't. Oh Emily..." She made a noise in her throat and touched the girl's face, pushed back the hair from her eyes. "You've got a long road ahead." Emily nodded. "I know your sister wasn't a good person, but she was your sister. Her loss must be..." Another nod and then a shake of her head.

"I don't want to think about her. I can't."

"No, I think you wouldn't." She patted Emily's hand. "I'll get the tea and then you can tell me why you need to look at the ground all the time." Her chest felt like it was constricting at Gina's candor. She didn't know where to turn or run to. What could she say to her? What was it she wanted to hear? _She wants to know you'll be good to her daughter. She wants to know you won't hurt her anymore. Or get her hurt. She's a mum. My mum wasn't..._ She didn't have a chance to finish her thoughts when Gina walked in.

..

"We want you to leave Emily alone." Effy said it. She knew Naomi wouldn't be able to without cursing at the man. As it was, she could see her coloring fluctuate and knew it was part anger and part pain. Jameson was watching the two of them and was keenly aware of everything.

"She called me. Not the other way around."

"We know." Naomi managed to speak without accusation.

"Then why should I even entertain your request?"

"Because she's been through enough." Effy answered again. He looked at her then at Naomi.

"You two are here today because she made that call." He took a sip from his drink. Jameson looked the picture of perfect calm. "You would be with the pile of bodies."

"Look... I don't know what jollies you get..."

"Naomi..." Effy warned.

"I'm being civil. I'm not calling him names." He nodded.

"Civility is being observed... leisurely. Please continue. I'm curious to see what arguments you have to convince me to 'leave Emily alone' as you put it." Effy reached out to Naomi who was trying not to snap at him. He was sincerely amused but also intrigued.

"I...we get that she... put herself out there. And that by proxy, we've been drawn into whatever schemes you have. But we're asking to please... leave her be. I know you mentioned having little use for some of our talents, but... surely there's something we can work out."

"I see... and what is it you think I want from Emily that you can provide? And yes, Effy, I'm speaking to you. I'm certain Naomi here doesn't play well with others."

"You're right. I'm lousy at it." She replied. "But... if there is something..." She swallowed. "Involving minor medical that I can help with...If your guys get hurt or something..." He made a dismissive noise and looked at Effy.

..

"Here you go. I put in a little milk and some sugar. Thought you might like it. You'd think I hadn't taught my daughter to keep honey in the house but I can't find the blasted thing."

"Thank you." Her voice had lost some of its volume. Not that it had been all that loud before. "I don't have much of a preference. I'll take it as offered." She blushed at that. It felt like everything she could say was wrong. It didn't give the woman next to her a sense that her daughter would be safe. She felt close to panic. "I'm sorry.. I.."

"Emily." Gina sighed. "Please stop that." The twin almost instinctively looked down at her hands but felt herself being observed for that very act. "You're not used to being around... strangers are you?" She shook her head then thought about it. The strangers she was introduced to didn't stay that way. They weren't familiar to her but they became intimate right away. She found herself blushing.

"I'm not used to a lot of things I imagine. I don't know... I don't know what to say.. what to do."

"She was very controlling." Emily swallowed and have half a nod.

"I'm not. Controlling that is. I'm sure Naomi would argue differently. I do like conversation. But we can also sit in silence if you'd rather. What do you like Emily?"

"I don't know." She did look at her hands then. "Isn't that stupid?"

"Not at all."

They sat and drank their tea in silence for a bit. Neither looked at each other, not really, not directly. After a bit, Emily cleared her throat. Gina looked at her and put her cup down. "What do you... what do you think of me? I mean... I like Naomi and I've not... I'm not..."

"You can stop right there. If you're going where I think you're going, please stop." She was gentle in her delivery but resolute. "I will not judge you for your past. Anyone not in your shoes doesn't have that right." She made sure Emily made eye contact. "Naomi is a bright, headstrong woman. I'm rather fortunate even if she's a right pain in the arse. She can be with whomever she chooses."

"Ok." She thought about it. "But as her mum..."

..

"What is it you're after Jameson?"

"Mr. Mather."

"What?" Naomi looked at him like he'd grown an additional head.

"You're seeking for my acquiescence are you not? I think I require a bit more formality rather than simple civility." He drank the rest of his espresso and set the cup down. A squeeze of Effy's hand on Naomi's arm kept her barely quiet.

"Mr. Mather. What is it that you wish from us or me in exchange for you allowing Emily to be uninvolved?" Effy took his lead.

Jameson let out a laugh. "Oooh... you're good. Really good. So quick to jump into it." He picked up a biscuit and bit into it. "I have to hand it to you both. Calling me, making this ludicrous appointment. As if you had a leg to stand on." He took another bite and watched Naomi's face turn redder. "I'm not _after_ anything. You've nothing to offer that I can't take or get elsewhere. Either of you."

"You're a bastard." Naomi finally shook herself free of Effy's hand. "Everything is a fucking game to you. Using her. Using us. Kil... Getting rid of your competition. It's a gigantic fucking game."

"Yes." He replied coolly as he finished his biscuit. "In a way, it is a game." He leaned forward. "And while I applaud your attempt to play, it's not _your_ game to play." He wiped his hands on a napkin. "Let me be completely transparent, Emily called _me_ for my help getting _you all_ out of a mess. End of. I didn't reach out and entice her with false promises, with money or security. She put herself out there, I merely accepted. Do we understand that? Are you both clear on the fact that I didn't prey on her virginal virtues?"

"She's right. You are a bastard." Effy was seeing him. The layers upon layers of him and she wondered how Emily had been in the same room with him and not been reduced to less than what she was. He may not be exactly like her captors but he was as much a vile human as they were.

"Yes. I am." He looked at the sadness in them, the failure they both felt. "You two really need to stick to the straight and narrow... figuratively speaking. You aren't cut out for dealing with sorts like myself." He could practically drink in their defeat. He sighed. "I don't want her."

"Right... we're supposed to..." The blonde was still defiant.

"On some level, yes I _do_ want her." He was talking to Naomi directly. "She's beautiful. Broken. A delightful subbie to be toyed with and made to purr." She reached out meaning to grab him by his shirt but he moved back and she felt a spasm of pain. A couple of people noticed the movement but it was done too quickly for anyone to realize it had been meant violently. "Did you get it out of your system?" She clutched at her side. "Keep that shit up and you'll rip the stitches you imbecile." He looked at Effy. "You're both too close to her. You want to protect her at all costs... you want some sort of version of her that isn't her." He shook his head.

"But you do want her... _this_ version of her." Effy replied.

"Very much. But having her isn't... right."

"What?" Effy sputtered.

"Come again?" Naomi blurted out.

..

"As her mum, if she were to be with you, I'd be happy." The answer surprised Emily. Gina took her hands. "You're a good person. You have a great heart and survived a fair ordeal. Something that would have torn some to bits. So knowing a strong woman like yourself was at my daughter's side... it would bring me nothing short of happiness." Emily found that both comforting and unsettling. She didn't know what to say, how to feel about it. She was being accepted but it didn't feel true. The oven bell went off in the other room and Gina excused herself. She was making them a welcome home feast and was trying to keep the meal prep to a schedule. She wandered into the kitchen muttering about her daughter not really being able to tell time as it was.

Emily finished her tea and stood up. She used only one of the crutches. The pain in her leg was moderate and she knew she needed to get on her feet. The doctors had mentioned possibly needed physical therapy eventually but she disregarded them. She knew she was supposed to call the other place for the _other_ therapy. _Jameson told you to. You need to._ She dug out her mobile. _The one he gave you_. She frowned at it. She should call. She knew that. But she wasn't ready. She didn't want the world to know. She felt shame in her behavior and it was bad enough she'd told Gina. _You had to though. She's Naomi's mum. She got hurt cause of you. You owe her._

She let her mind wander and she put the mobile on the shelf. Her fingers toying with the books there. A couple on emergency medicine. A couple on art and literature. No tawdry romance novels. She smiled and hobbled about. She found the loo. It was all properly arranged, neat. She wasn't sure if Naomi kept it this way or if her mum had taken liberties. She found herself at Naomi's bedroom door. For a moment she felt wrong about being there. But she couldn't help but step inside. The bed took up a chunk of the space. There was a bookshelf, a nightstand. There was no art on the walls but there was a glass-less frame against the wall. A print with a slash mark across it. She recognized the print as a Van Gogh painting.

..

"It isn't right. Taking her, having her. Emily... has been through an enormous ordeal. I grant you that. And if, quite frankly, it had been only one harbinger of doom preying on her, I might not be so... congenial in my assessment of my personal moral compass. But between her sister and her despot of a boyfriend, Laura... I can't see myself being sexually involved with her." He stared at them. "That is what you were trying to discern? Whether or not I planned to bed your damsel in distress?"

"Are you ever not a cunt?" Naomi had stopped rubbing her side as the spasm eased.

"Not often." He shrugged.

"Yes. That's what we wanted to know." Effy didn't feel all that balanced and she was happy she wasn't driving. She felt dizzy and shaken. She could see moves within the game but he was right. They were playing on different levels – ethically and emotionally.

"So have I assuaged your gentler dispositions? Are you going to drink your coffee?" He picked up another biscuit. Naomi begrudgingly took her drink and sipped from it. He genuinely smiled. He did enjoy riling her up. "You really need to stop whatever you're trying to do."

"How can we? As you said, we are too close. We feel for her." The brunette pondered.

"You don't think I do?" He asked them. Jameson felt invested in Emily for reasons he couldn't communicate to them. Or rather, he didn't want to express out loud.

"You don't even know her." Naomi grumbled.

"I know her about as well as you. And I've certainly got no blinders on." He ate the biscuit. "She's been twisted up and wrung out. You met her when.. in elementary? College? Somewhere before all of this... before life spun her about?" He gave a slight shake of his head. "She's not going to break. Not really. Not now. What there was to break happened years ago. You want to protect her and save her from collapse but there isn't anything to save. If I wanted to fuck her six ways from Sunday, she wouldn't turn a blind eye but it wouldn't hurt her as much as it would hurt you."

"How can you fucking say that?" Naomi was back to furious with his statement. After grabbing her coffee, Effy sat back for the first time the entire meeting. He was being candid. It might not be what they wanted to hear but he wasn't doing it out of spite. He simply didn't believe in illusions.

"Because it's what she's been taught." He said it casually. The girls looked at him with different emotions in their eyes. "I'm not saying it's healthy or even understandable by most. But it's what she's been literally taught. She has been shown that her _only_ value is her body. The reason she wasn't discarded a long time ago. You want to save the idea that she sees herself as more than an object. But frankly, that idea isn't there. Not for a long time." He bit into the biscuit. Naomi was on the verge of screaming. Effy on the edge of it all finally seeing what he was driving at. "You can't save what isn't there."

..

Emily wondered what kind of life Naomi had. Was she happy? She had thought of her so often. The stolen moments when younger had fueled her spirit. She hadn't given too much thought to what she had done, whom she had been with. She imagined a long line of women. Every one of them prettier than her. _They could offer her so much more than you can_. She pressed herself against the wall. Her sister's voice was in her head. She closed her eyes. She couldn't understand how her own blood could have been so harsh and yet Naomi's mum could be so welcoming. _You have nothing. You are nothing_. "Please stop." She put her hand against her mouth to keep herself from saying more. She knew it was her own memories creeping in but it was still so daunting.

It was maddening to miss her and to be glad she was gone. She had wanted to talk to Gina. But she couldn't find a place inside her where she wouldn't be screaming, where she wouldn't be drawn to such extreme emotions for her sister. _Your twin. She was your twin_. Images flashed through her mind and she didn't want them. She didn't want to remember. She wanted to talk to Naomi, to Effy. But what could she say that wouldn't get her a look of pity. She expected it. They would feel sorry for her. _What will you do Emsy? They'll get tired of you. They don't realize what it is to have you in their lives all the time._ She needed to get out of her head. She moved to the closet. She pulled the door open, knowing it was a deeper trespass. _These aren't out in the open_.

Her hand moved through the clothes. She could smell her there. It was a zip-up. She took the sleeve and pressed it against her face. Her perfume, light on the sleeve still, made her feel closer to her. She bit her lip and stepped away from it. Emily was scared. She didn't know what she was doing.

..

"So what? We feed her to the wolves? Give her up as incorrigible. We let her get swept up in something else..."

"No. Not in the linear way you're thinking. First, _you_ don't let _her_. Otherwise, you become her keepers. You'd be replacing her sister. She needs to be un-taught that behavior. Neither of you is up to it."

"And you are?"

"No." He put down the half eaten biscuit and wiped his hands. "What I would teach her would keep her in a different cage than what she has, but still a cage. And before you get ideas, I'm not being noble. I can't afford to do that to her because I can't allow myself to go there. Not with anyone else. I'm not after her the way you thought. I'd kindly ask that you stay out of it from here on out." He held up a hand. "Don't. You've got all the assurances you're going to get. And my benevolence is short. I entertained this because I like her. And she likes you. It's a genuine lovefest if you don't count the hate between the two of you and me."

"So we what? Co-exist in her life?" Effy shook her head. "I don't know if that could work."

"Make it work. And I don't know that it will be actual co-existence. I do have my own life and matters to contend with. But I will be... _available_ in her life until she does what she needs to." The look in his eyes stopped them from asking what he meant. For one, Naomi wasn't quite ready for any more truths from him. For Effy, she needed to digest what he'd been saying and sort it. "What are you two looking for?"

"What?" Naomi was confused.

"The two of you. What is it that you want out of her?"

"She's our friend." Effy said. "We aren't looking for anything."

"I don't believe that. Everyone wants something."

"Shows what your circle of friends is like."

"True." He thought about it. "But we as humans are always seeking something. Sometimes it's more tangible – a hot body, an indelible experience. Sometimes it's absolution." He smiled and it felt devious like he could see into them and Effy shuddered. Whatever she had thought of him before was intensified. She still couldn't put him in an easy category. "My last kindness to you is to provide you with a ride to your flat." He took out his mobile and sent a text.

"No thanks." Naomi glared.

"No offense but..." Effy started to respond but was cut off.

"None taken. But also not a request. I'm driving you home. Question is one stop or two? I know where you live Effy and Naomi..." He looked at his phone and recited Naomi's address. "I do believe that covers both of you?" A black car pulled up outside. "Do I drop you both off at one location or..."

..

She touched the bed, then sat on it. It felt like it was new, like no one had slept in it. She leaned down and smelled the sheets. They smelled laundry clean. _She's been sleeping at Effy's first then the hospital. Her mum washed the sheets_. She swallowed and felt like she was taking advantage of being here. She didn't hear the girls coming into the flat.

Gina heard the door and walked into the living room. She noticed that Emily wasn't seated there but presumed she was in the loo. "And where have you two been?" She took a look at Naomi's face and knew her daughter was in pain. "Never mind. Just have her lay down. I swear daughter of mine... you're aiming to give me more grays." Effy helped Naomi along and was grateful Gina didn't help and that Jameson had stayed in the car. They didn't need another can of worms. His parting words were enough.

 _"Have you thought about what it will be like for her? Either of you?" He looked at them as he turned from the passenger seat. He hadn't asked for a larger car to pick him up so he sat next to his driver while the girls occupied the back seat. "When was the last time she held a job? Who will she live with? You both have one bedroom flats. Will you have her live on her own? Think she can? You haven't thought this through." He made eye contact with Naomi. "For all intended purposes, she knows the barest of essentials about being an adult. I'm not talking about what she can do physically with her body." He gave her an evil smile. "I've seen what she can do with that body." The blonde looked like she was going to be sick. "Next time you want to call me any names, I'd rethink it. I can hurt you without even blinking." The car pulled over and he turned in his seat. "I'll be in touch if I need either of you."_

Effy and Naomi walked into the bedroom to find Emily sitting on the bed.


	33. Chapter 32

Another chapter...

Thank you to marsupial for keeping me sane... it's a full time job I tell ya...

Thank you to my lovely loyal reviewers dammit naomily, tiger trap and mynameislizzie2

Thank you to my darling readers...

warning: we start going through the recovery process a little slowly but it's all good...

* * *

Chapter 32

Emily went to stand up as Effy and Naomi stopped in the doorway. The blonde shook her head and walked to the bed without help. She touched Emily's shoulder affectionately before lying down and groaning. The twin looked at her then at Effy. She stood up, used the crutch and began to leave the room. Effy reached out before she could walk out.

"Do you want to be here?" She was still looking at Naomi's prone form but was addressing the twin.

"What?" There was confusion in her face. _Do they want me to leave?_ Fear started rising in her.

"Do you want to be here Emily?" Turning her face she let her blue eyes take in her brown ones. Such uncertainty and fear in them. "What is it you want?"

"I don't know." She answered truthfully. She didn't know what it was to really want something for herself. She knew what she craved, needed. "I think so."

Effy nodded but didn't let go of her hand. "You need to think about it. I need to know what you want. More importantly, you need to know what you want." She swallowed. "I know it's been a minute since everything but you need to think about what _you_ want."

"What's happened?" Emily asked, feeling like something else had occurred. Effy shook her head at the question. She didn't want to talk about Jameson, especially with the twin. Not until she'd had more of a chance to think on his words. Emily looked back at Naomi. "I want to be near her." She whispered. Effy squeezed her hand then let go. She tilted her head towards Naomi.

"Go to her and ask if she wants company. It's ok for her to say no. Just like it's ok for you to say no when you need to." She said softly. For Effy, it was a step to challenging the idea that she couldn't help Emily. She was still processing all that he had said, alluded to. But she refused to accept his word as a decree. _Fuck that_. She walked out of the room and shut the door. It was subtle but she wanted two of the people she cared about to take steps on their own. Emily stood there for a couple of minutes more. She went to the bed but didn't sit. She also didn't speak for a moment. In truth, she'd hoped Naomi would extend her hand and ask her to join her.

"Naomi?" She finally croaked her name out. "Umm..."

..

"So spill. Where did you two go?" Gina was waiting for Effy in the living room. "And don't say paperwork or some other excuse. Neither of you are particularly chatty with hospital personnel to take that long."

"We met with Jameson." The older woman nodded with a grim face. Effy and she had sat down prior to today. The brunette filled in some blanks that both Emily and Naomi would have been mortified about. But she knew Gina could handle more than her share. She was their port in a storm whether Naomi understood that or not sometimes.

"I know he saved you all in some way but what did the bugger have to say for himself?"

"Nothing fun. Not that we were expecting fun." Effy took off the sling and slowly stretched out her arm. "Fuck that's stiff."

"You need to see about getting it worked on." Gina took the sling and grabbed a throw pillow, fluffed it and put it behind Effy. "Tell me."

"He talked about how we couldn't help her. How she was this... broken toy basically. He said he didn't exactly want to shag her which was somewhat good but the way he said it was..." She shook her head. "Naomi is head over heels. You know that."

"I know. Has been since that party. I swear she talked about it nonstop for the first year after." Gina gave a look to the closed door. "What he said... it bothered her?" Effy nodded. "Enough to hurt her?"

"I don't think it changes what she feels for Emily... but I think it's something she hadn't allowed herself to think about, the level of help Emily would need. I think she's feeling a bit beat up about it."

"That hero complex... it's my fault." Gina sat back and knew it had been her influence for constantly wanting to leave the world better. She'd dragged her to enough demonstrations and retreats for everything from saving the planet to equality. She knew it would help shape her daughter but she never thought it would cause her any strife.

"It's not a bad thing. To want to save the world." Effy gave her a smile. She touched Gina's hand.

"No. But her heart's on the line. And I hope she's strong enough luv. Stubbornness will only get her so far."

..

Naomi had thought about pretending to be asleep. She'd really considered it. Mostly becaushe she didn't know what to say. She didn't want to talk to Emily about what she'd learned or thought she'd learned or realized. _He's wrong. He has to be_. Her body was tired and her brain was fried. But she couldn't leave her standing there. And she couldn't bear to send her away. She turned over slowly and faced Emily. She could see that doubt in her beautiful brown eyes. She could see so much more now that it had been pointed out. She was about to speak when Emily beat her to it.

"Can I lie down with you? I want... I want to feel close... closer. If you're in pain... or don't want to, it's ok... I can go." Naomi could see her gripping the crutch tightly, like it was the only thing that was holding her up. The blonde moved back to give her some room on that side of the bed.

"Come on." Emily didn't hesitate. The fear of rejection was literally coming off her in waves. Naomi hated Jameson for it. _You hate him for opening your eyes. He didn't do this to her. Her sister did_. Emily didn't get too close. She was giving Naomi space. She touched the twin's face. "You doin' alright?"

"I don't know." Emily closed her eyes and let herself feel safe in this moment. "I keep having these... thoughts. Now that... I mean... I have nothing..."

"You have me." The words came out without doubt. Naomi smiled. Her heart was full for her. "You have Effy. We aren't going anywhere."

"But... I..." Naomi put a finger against her lips to stop her from talking.

"No buts. You're a part of us." She tried rubbing down Emily's arm but a twinge made her groan.

"It hurts. Do you want me to get you something?" Emily's eyes were open and looking at Naomi.

"It's ok... I'm overtired. I just need to sleep for a bit." She didn't want to take the pain meds yet. "Just stay with me ok?"

"Ok."

..

It had been three days since his coffee meeting with the daring duo as he'd come to think of them. He didn't know _what_ to think of them. They had this inescapable way of getting under your skin and he realized that's how it was with Emily. She had gotten under his skin. It had first been the idea of not taking her because of how her sister had set her up with Laura. But then it was her reaction when Laura taunted her. He thought he had taught Laura better, that he'd rectified some of his earlier mistakes. He'd left Laura alone too long, hadn't thought she could do that much damage to another.

His anger got the better of him and he gripped the glass too hard. It broke in his hand. His lunch companion muttered something and Jameson looked down. Blood dripping on the restaurant's table cloth, down his hand and on to his shirt cuff. He sighed as the server came over with a towel. He uttered a cursory thanks and an apology. He ignored the questions from his companion and pulled the glass embedded in his hand, dropping it on the plate. He didn't even flinch.

He wrapped his hand with the towel and tossed his wallet on the table. He ordered the other man to take the money out and pay for the meal and the ruined tablecloth. He used his other hand to pull out his mobile and make a call.

..

Gina had flown back home earlier that morning. Naomi would miss her but they were both ready to snap. It had been too much for the blonde to deal with. Gina had been fussing over her. Neither was used to the other anymore. Not for any extended time. Granted if asked, Naomi would say she didn't need her mum at to take care of her.

Before she left she had taught Emily how to change Naomi's bandages even if her daughter had argued she could do it herself. Cooking wasn't a problem as Cook had taught Emily the basics in the past. Emily felt she needed to show mom and daughter that she wasn't totally inept so she made soup from scratch. She did feel inept. She felt powerless and helpless all the more. She'd picked up the mobile to phone the therapists Jameson had suggested a few times but she couldn't bring herself to.

Effy had been somewhat scarce. She wanted to be there, with the girls, but she was also spending time with Cook who was still in hospital. He had another leg surgery scheduled in the next few days. There would be no getting around him having a limp. But he would have a better range of mobility that the doctors thought at first. Both were happy about that. He hadn't decided anything in terms of where he would go once out of hospital. He didn't have a flat. She didn't bring it up but she would have him stay with her. Effy had decided.

Emily was still having doubts about a lot of things. They came up suddenly and sometimes lingered. She didn't always speak up about it. Not if the girls didn't notice. She didn't want to be a burden. Her sister's voice was sometimes on repeat. It was enough to spark at least one nightmare. Naomi was taking a nap in the bedroom as she sat in the living room staring at the phone. That was how Effy found her when she let herself in. Emily looked up.

"You need to make the call." It was all Effy said before she went into the loo. She knew the brunette was right. She'd also heard the unspoken words. _We won't do it for you. You have to take care of yourself_. She knew they weren't wrong. She dialed the number.

..

Effy walked into the bedroom as she had heard Emily on the phone and thought best to not disturb or distract her. Naomi was waking up as Effy got closer to her. "Hey. How's Cook?"

"Careful Naoms you almost sound like you care."

"For him? Never." She stretched a little. It was getting easier to move but there was tightness and soreness in her body yet. She couldn't wait until the stitches were finally out. She knew it would be a couple of weeks yet. Probably a third week before she'd be allowed back to work on limited basis. "See if something happens to the twat then you'll get sad. Can't have that." She was only half teasing. As she saw it, he mattered to both her girls. That was important.

"Something already happened to him." Effy smiled as she lay down next to Naomi. "But he will get better. And... I will make sure he does." Naomi took her hand.

"I'm happy for you."

"I don't trust myself with him." She uttered the truth that had been gnawing at her since she'd told him to write down the things he'd done.

"Why not?" Effy shrugged. It was why she'd said it to Naomi. They had been there for each other. She could steer her in the right course. "Love isn't a bad thing."

"You sure?" She could hear the fear in her own voice. She hadn't known what to do with such an emotion. It felt like an unexplored galaxy in size and she didn't know if she could travel in it.

"Yes." Naomi brought their hands to her heart. She knew the terror Effy was feeling. _It's why she's your best mate. You know her and she knows you_.

"Even with all you have to face still?" Naomi went silent. _Crap. Leave it to her to turn it around. Damn it._ They hadn't talked since the coffee shop. At least not about Emily. "Have you told her?"

"About?" _Ahh yes.. that's it. Run away. Brilliant use of evasive tactics_.

"About? I don't know... the Holy Roman Empire?" Effy faced her fully. She was giving her the look.

"Don't do that. I'm... weak, feeble... It's not fair using that look while I'm recuperating. There's a law somewhere." She smiled but there wasn't any give in Effy's glare. "No. I haven't. Don't see why I should."

"Doesn't she deserve to know it?"

"What? That we spoke to the prick? I don't think it should matter. He lied."

"He didn't." She knew Naomi wanted to believe it had been lies, merely divisionary tactics to get them at odds with each other. Effy had had time to ruminate and was aware that it was that and a way to control the girls. Information was power. He'd provided some but knew it would hurt and he got off on the pain of it. She couldn't give him the satisfaction of having such an impact on them.

"How can you say that Eff?" Naomi turned to face her with some difficulty. "Taught to be less than..."

"You know it happens. How many people have you seen in your rig? Abused and broken. On drugs. You know how it happens. She tried to off herself spectacularly poorly."

"Fuck's sake Eff. Don't." Naomi closed her eyes but it was a bad idea. She remembered looking down at Emily on the asphalt. She knew it was the truth. All of it. She didn't want to think about it. "But it was her sister. I.."

"I get that it's almost impossible to imagine but... it happened." Effy knew more than she was saying but it wasn't her place. "You need to talk to her."

"I did... I told her she belonged here... with me." She hadn't shared that with either the brunette or her mum. She wasn't afraid of it, having Emily with her. But she wondered if they would suggest alternatives. _You don't want her to run away, to lose herself. You want to keep an eye on her. It's another cage. It's not!_

"And that's fine... but it doesn't change..."

"No. It doesn't." Both Effy and Naomi looked up to see Emily standing in the doorway with the mobile in hand. She didn't seem shocked or hurt by their conversation. It was apparent she'd heard the gist of it. Naomi cursed.

"Emily." Naomi sat up.

"I need help." She shrugged. "I don't know things I should." Effy sat up cross-legged. She nodded. Not so much as in agreement but as encouragement to speak.

"So what?" Effy touched Naomi's arm as she started to talk. She got a look and a low growl.

"Naoms... let her talk." The look in Effy's eyes was soft. It would be monumental for her to get her best friend to not want to charge in and save the day.

"I don't always know... what I want. What to do. I'm supposed to... on some level I'm supposed to know that. But if you told me to jump... we all know I would." Emily almost sounded pained as she spoke and Naomi hated that. She wanted to wrap her up. "I need to be someone."

"You are." Emily shook her head at Naomi's words. She meant well but it wasn't entirely true. With the passing days, her mind pushed more images to the forefront. She remembered men, words, acts. Most left her feeling empty.

"I don't know that. I really don't know that." She looked down at the mobile. "I made an appointment. Apparently... they knew I'd need to see someone... sooner than not. Jameson..." Both Effy and Naomi looked angry at his name. She knew the reasons or thought she knew, but it wouldn't change things. "He set it up. I need a ride... they said... they said they could send a car. That he had taken care of every..."

"I can give you a ride." Effy spoke up. Emily smiled.

"Thank you." She got closer to the bed. "I know I'm not... There's things I need to work out. I don't know how it will happen or what they all are." She sat near the girls and Effy smiled. It was a huge step. Naomi was smiling but she still hated that Emily was feeling like this. She wanted to blame Jameson. She thought if he would have been kept out of it, then it would be better for Ems. "I'm grateful... so grateful... for you both. But I hear her." She looked down. "Everything she said to me... it didn't go away. She..." Emily hiccuped. "She's gone but it didn't go away." Naomi pulled away from Effy and took Emily in her arms.

..

 _"Mr. Mather. Quite the entrance."_

 _"I'm pissed off." He had stormed into the office and taken a seat. He'd called ahead but it was unusual for him to be this worked up._

 _"It's noticeable. I don't think I've seen you in such a state. What happened to your hand?" Jameson didn't even glance at it. It was wrapped in gauze. He'd gone to the A &E when it happened. _

_"I broke a glass. It cut my hand." There was disappointment in the look he received but he didn't care. He couldn't help what had happened._

 _"Why?"_

 _"Because I can't control myself."_

 _"This is highly unlike you."_

 _"Yes."_

 _.._

Emily had spent the night in Naomi's bed again. She had thought to sleep on the couch now that Gina was back home. The blonde wouldn't let her. Effy had rolled her eyes and left after grabbing a shower. She said she would be back in the morning but she wanted to spend the night at the hospital. It actually made Emily feel better to know Cook had Effy. He'd often felt adrift. Presented himself as such. He hadn't anyone that she knew of. He'd mentioned a girl he loved but it hadn't come to light what her name was. Effy was good for him. She cared. He needed that.

It was before ten when she made it to the bedroom. She'd grabbed a shower after helping Naomi with hers and then cleaning up the kitchen. The blonde was laying on her side of the bed, awake. "You ok? Are you in pain?" The sense of being a caretaker was satisfying. For these brief moments, Emily didn't feel so out of place. So unworthy. Naomi shook her head.

"I'm not in pain. Sore.. but that's status quo now." She smiled. She reached out and touched Emily's waist as she slipped under the sheets. She leaned forward and laid a tentative kiss on her lips.

"Naoms."

"What?" She kissed her jaw.

"N... no." The blonde stopped and looked at her. She was afraid.

"Hey. Are you... what's the matter? What happened?" She was on alert. "Did you... fuck.. did you think of something? Did I do something to..." Emily was shaking her head, tears forming.

"You're still... and I don't want you to get hurt." She whispered it. "Effy said it was ok. Ok to say no." Her voice was soft and trembling. Naomi touched Emily's face.

"Of course you can say no. If you don't want to, we don't have to." Her thumb was caressing her cheeks.

"I want to." She smiled. "But when you're better. I always want to." That was the truest statement she could have said. There was an inherent need for sexual gratification inside her. She hadn't always wanted to with the men she'd been given to. But Laura, Naomi. She'd let them have her when they wanted even now.

"Ok." Naomi smiled and gave her another kiss. More chaste. More loving. "Do you... we can cuddle... if you want. That won't hurt."

..

They hadn't done anything sexual. Neither was physically ready. Parts of them were but the twin was so worried about hurting the blonde that she didn't try. Naomi was more concerned about Emily's emotional state. But they had slept curled up around each other. Neither had bad dreams and that was worth something. Naomi's partner Shaughnessy came by early on his day off much to her chagrin. He decided to stick around when Effy showed up to pick Emily up. Naomi might have given them the evil eye as they left without her.

They drove with the radio on and not much conversation. The psychiatric practice was oddly located in between golf clubs and cemeteries in the middle of almost nowhere. It wasn't a desolate area by any means. It was nondescript, private but Effy had noticed enough high end vehicles on the road to know people of a different class were comfortable traveling this area. _Either that or drug dealers_. She sighed and parked. She went into the building with Emily.

They were greeted and escorted to a private waiting area by a very peppy receptionist. She didn't think NHS would cover any of this but then again, no one had asked for payment information. They'd only asked for identification but didn't blink when Emily said she had none on her. It was something they would need to take care of. Emily whispered Katie had her passport in a deposit box in the house but she hadn't access to it. Effy made a note to somehow retrieve it. They were handed an introductory information packet which listed the doctors within the practice as well as their pedigree.

All of the doctors within the practice listed The Institute of Psychosexual Medicine as a cornerstone of their beliefs and a source of specialized training. Their practice had a concentration of a range of sexual difficulties including recovering from sexual abuse and trauma. Those words jumped out at Emily and she almost bolted. Effy held on to her hand and kept her steady. It wasn't that she was entirely in tune with the twin's moods but some of them were too easy to pick up.

A door opened and a lovely older woman stepped out. "Ms. Fitch. Please come in. I'm Dr. Thorne." Emily stood, a little paler than when she'd sat. She looked at Effy to see if she was coming in with her. When the brunette shook her head no, Emily took a deeper breath. She needed to walk through the door with the doctor. She had to. It was the first step to getting better. Effy looked around and noticed no magazines. Emily had kept hold of the information packet so she couldn't even peruse that. She pulled out her mobile to check on Naomi or indulge in some shopping. She hadn't decided. Another door opened on the other side of the room. She looked up only when she heard the voice.

"Jesus fucking Christ."

..

Naomi had managed to usher Shaughnessy out maybe thirty minutes after the girls had gone. It was a miracle as he'd been talking nonstop and determined to see her future chick magnet scars. She thought about taking pain meds, doing him in and claiming the meds were to blame. She'd dug out her laptop from the closet. The thing was a relic from university. She didn't think it would turn on. She was right. She growled and would have thrown it if not for the slight ache in her side. She promised it a painful death by hammer once she was better.

Effy hadn't brought hers as she wasn't expecting to hang around. Naomi cursed. She wanted to read the news, see what was being said. Her partner hadn't much to report but he wasn't exactly known for his observational skills in general. She sighed. Maybe she could go for a walk. _And Effy will likely cripple you_. She had found her tablet after Laura's little outburst. It had been coated in coconut oil and the placed in the refrigerator. It hadn't been on her list of priorities. Her thoughts drifted and she was pondering a bit of alone time with slight fantasies of Emily. If you accidentally pull a stitch wanking off, both of them will never let you live it down. She was weighing the pros and cons when there was knock at the door and she groaned.

She walked to it slowly and yelled for them to hold their horses when they knocked again. She looked through the peephole and didn't recognize the young man but he looked like he was a lost pizza delivery. Maybe he has a pizza. She opened the door.

"Well what do you want?" She was short when she saw he did not have a pizza. Instead, he had a suitcase. She scowled at him. He was maybe early 20s with spiked hair. He looked familiar.

"Blimey you're a looker." He shook his head. "I'm sorry. My mouth... it sometimes doesn't connect to the brain. I was told I might find Emily Fitch here."

"Who told you that?" Her hackles were up and she wished she hadn't answered. She was in no position to get into it with anyone. She tried standing up straight without looking as she felt.

"He said... it's not important. But see I need to talk to her, if she's here. Please. It's important."

"Frankly unless you can tell me who the fuck you are in proper form, I'm shutting the door and calling the police. I'm in no..."

"I'm James. James Fitch, her brother."

..

Jameson stood there in jeans and a rugby shirt. His eyes were fixed on Effy. He shook his head. Walking past her, he exited brusquely. She didn't hesitate and and was on her feet, following. They were outside the building when she grabbed his arm.

"What the goddamn fuck? What are you doing here?" She was incensed. The blue in her eyes so cold and sharp it would have cut anyone down. He'd turned around and shoved her hand away. The urge to slap her was strong but he knew it wasn't right. He shook his head and tried walking away. "No. You fucking stop. What is going on in there? Did you set her up? I'll fucking storm in there..."

"Stop!" He yelled at her, stopping himself from grabbing her by the shoulders. "She's safe in there you... argh.." He turned away from her and put his hands on a car. He didn't know whose. From the corner of his eye, he spotted his driver walking to them. Jameson held up a hand. He turned and gripped her elbow. She wasn't wearing the hideous sling but he remembered it was on the other arm when he'd last seen her. "She's fine in there."

"Why are you here then? Were you going to take her?" She was terrified but wasn't going to back down. Is that what his game was? Get her alone to kidnap her?

"No. Jesus... you're like a fungus. Fucking... It's a therapists office. She's safe. I swear it. I didn't know she would be here."

"Then why the fuck are you here? Don't think I don't know about the nurses at the hospital. They spied for you. I wouldn't put it past you to hunt her down here."

"I came in for an emergency appointment." He met her eyes.

"Emergency app... you're a patient?"


	34. Chapter 33

Next chapter... little shorter than last time... hopefully less tense but you never know...

thank you to marsupial for her unwavering support... she's working hard at finishing up one of her stories so send her some love...

thank you to my lovely reviewers dammit naomily, tiger trap and mynameis lizzie2

warning: I've lost track but don't read certain bits in front of impressionable humans...

* * *

Chapter 33

 _Emily was whimpering. She was trying to keep still and not make too much noise. But Naomi wasn't helping matters. The blonde was in between her legs and her mouth was working hard._

 _.._

 _ **Four weeks earlier...**_

"You're a patient?" Effy wouldn't let go of Jameson's arm. He was getting red in the face and looked to be losing what patience he had. His driver had reached their side without a sound.

"Ms. I think you need to let go of him now please." It was a soft voice and a gentle touch to her hand, the one clutching at Jameson's arm. He looked at his employer. "Sir, remember yourself." It wasn't a lot but it was enough for the angry man to stop clenching his fists. Effy reluctantly let go and none of them moved.

"Are you..."

"Stop fucking asking me. I owe you zero explanations." He growled but was less angry in the tone. "You have no right to..."

"I have no right? You went into my fucking flat you prick. You're in my mates' lives. You think you can step in and out when you want?" She wasn't backing down and the driver was keeping his body between them now. He didn't know which of the two could or would lash out in public. But he was trying to minimize the fallout. "You want privacy then leave us the fuck alone."

"Privacy? That's your issue?" He tried moving past his driver but couldn't. "Fuck!" He turned away and slammed his hands on the bonnet of some car. "I didn't ask to be involved with you or your lot." He turned and lunged for her but the driver physically held him off.

"Miss... please... go back inside. I'm sure Mr. Mather will..." It was taking a surprising amount of force. He'd never seen Jameson so upset. He finally managed to pin him face down to the boot of a car. He took a few deep breaths. "Miss... I will see that he speaks to you at another time. Now is not good for anyone. Please." Effy was staring at both of them. She'd thought about taking out her mobile and snapping a photo but the sounds coming from Jameson were unsettling her. She couldn't tell if he was angry or hurt. "Please... I know you owe me nothing. Or him. But I'm asking you to please go back into the building. I will reach out to you once he's settled."

She began walking away while keeping an eye on them. She did take out her mobile and snapped a photo when she was a few meters away and then ran into the building. Her heart was in her throat as she watched from inside. The driver seemed to lean over and speak to Jameson. It took a few more minutes before there was any kind of relaxation in the driver's shoulders. Slowly he back off and Jameson lay there a moment. He seemed confused as he stood up. He allowed himself to be guided to his black car and it drove off minutes later. Effy didn't know what she'd just witnessed but she was feeling less threatened and more scared.

..

"You're her brother?"

"Yes." He was standing there in the hall bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"You're lying."

"I'm not."

"ID." He pulled out his wallet and produced a driver's license which he handed off to her. She inspected it. James Fitch. "This could be faked."

"If it was fake I'd have made myself taller and older." He gave her a quick reply and rolled his eyes. "There's a zit on my forehead." He pointed to it in the picture. "Trust me... my fake would have been a lot better. Is Emily here?" He was bouncing again.

"She went to... an appointment. She should be back in an hour or so.. Stay still.. what the fuck is the matter?"

"I need a wee. I came straight here from the airport. Can I?"

"Fuck's sake... go... second door on the right." He almost ran by her and she realized he'd left his bag. She grumbled but pulled it into the flat and was happy it had wheels. She was still holding the license. "Brother." She remembered Emily mentioning a younger brother but he had gone to live with family. _You read that too in the file. Right_. She scratched the back of her neck. "Fuck."

..

 _"Naoms..." Emily moaned it and her hands were in the blonde's hair. She kept moaning and writhing under her. It had been too long a stretch. Sleeping with each other almost every night. Sharing their free time together. Learning who the other was. And they hadn't done anything sexual. Until someone got handsy a little bit ago. Emily didn't have the energy to say no. If it had been up to her, they'd have been having sex all along. But between her therapist, Effy and her brother's reappearance, sex was tabled. Not anymore. Oh my god..._

 _.._

Emily had been sitting in the room with the psychiatrist for about ten minutes without saying much. They'd made very little small talk. When the doctor asked her what brought her in, she was less than forthcoming. She avoided the topic of her sister when she began saying she needed to learn how to take care of herself. It felt like the biggest obstacle in her mind. The doctor made a note then spoke.

"What really brought you here today Emily?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I have detailed notes left by a different doctor as to your case. And while I like to make my own assessment, I've been advised to be direct, as you wouldn't necessarily be able to explain." Emily fidgeted. Dr. Thorne knew it was less than professional for her to be taking directions from a third party that had stipulated having no contact with her patient. But the notes were remarkable in their scope and spoke of enough abuse as to prohibit her patient from being able to comprehend the damage she was dealing with.

"Oh." Emily had been looking at the doctor but dropped her gaze. "I... umm..." She felt warm. She wanted to leave but it wouldn't be good. At least she didn't think so. "Does it... what does it say?" She asked as she wiped her hands on her jeans.

"Emily. What is it that happened to you?" She knew the young woman was at odds with herself and being here. But she had taken the step to call. To the doctor, that meant wanting to feel better about something. If the record in front of her was right, it would be a long road. "I don't want to make assumptions. I want _you_ to tell me. I can see you're agitated and not sure what to do or say. But there is no judgment here. What you say is between us."

"Yeah." Her voice was hoarse. She kept thinking about her sister, Naomi, Effy, Cook. Even Jameson. She was here because of all of them wasn't she? But she needed to here for herself. _That's the big thing. It's what Effy had been trying to say._ "I don't know who I am. My sister... She and I... we had a strange... She was my twin. And she..." The words were stuck in her throat. "I..."

"Take your time. Would you like water or tea?" Emily nodded.

..

"Oh that was close." James came out of the loo drying his hands on his jeans. "I thought I'd need to water the plants outside."

"Thank heaven for small favors like indoor plumbing." She was sitting on the couch and staring at him. "You're what again... 22?"

"Yeah. Just turned a few months ago."

"And where've you been exactly."

"Well... I lived with distant family and then went to the University of York." He plopped down beside her without even asking.

"You went to university?"

"Yeah... Katie..." He paused and actually looked pained. "She set it up... the money. Said it was the least she could do for me. She felt bad about... a lot of things... some of which weren't true I found out." He looked around. "So you live here with my sister?"

"What? Ummm. I guess yeah... Well, she lives here now. I had the flat before... Wait..." She shook her head. "Katie _paid_ for your schooling?"

"Yeah." He blushed. "I... uh.. she wanted me to have something..." He sat cross-legged on the couch. "She felt bad... about me going to live with other family, about not being together.." He sighed. "Then when she said Emily had died..."

"Pardon?"

..

Jameson sat in the back of his car as his driver went into the pharmacy. He felt drained. He knew why. He licked his lips and hated that his doctor had been right. But you knew he would be. You went there because you'd felt yourself sliding. The car was on so keep the temperature even. His driver was back. He got behind the wheel and turned halfway to face Jameson. He handed the paper sack to him who didn't want to take it.

"You need these." He waited patiently until Jameson took the sack and opened it. He looked at the two vials. Haloperidol and Lorazepam. He sighed. "It's temporary." His driver said without turning back or putting the car in gear.

"I know." Jameson growled. He didn't want to take them and he knew the Lorazepam was for moments of extreme agitation. _Like needing to be slammed into a car before hitting a woman in anger?_ He was handed a bottle of water and he let out another sigh. He took and took one pill of each. He'd likely be unconscious before long. Maybe it was what he needed. Too many changes too quickly. Too much unresolved anger, emotion. Too many thoughts. The car was finally in motion. "Thank you."

"Think nothing of it."

"I didn't think I would be..." He hesitated as he watched the city pass by his window. "Five years... it's been five years since I had to..."

"I know." The driver was paying attention to the road but knew he needed to listen. This was one of the brief times they would exchange more than simple commands and responses. They'd fallen into patterns years ago and neither had done much to change them. It seemed for the best. "If I may, losing Laura was hard enough." Jameson gave a derisive laugh. The driver knew what he'd done. "Having to come back, take immediate control. There was a lot of fires to put out. You handled it. There was bound to be a snap back."

"Is that what this is?"

"Yes."

"You believe that?"

"I do. It's a temporary measure until you can get your bearings." Jameson went silent for a bit. He knew it could take weeks to right himself with medication.

"Why are you still with me?"

"Because it's what I know."

"That's a bland answer."

"What answer can I provide that won't result in negative ideation?"

"I guess none." Jameson leaned his head back. "We're not friends."

"No."

..

 _There was another moan stifled by a hastily grabbed pillow. She didn't want to be loud. She wanted this to stay between them. James was sleeping on the couch. He'd shown up yesterday evening. He had been a day early to take possession of a new flat for himself and asked to crash. The blonde had agreed as long as he could remember to be civilized. He had a habit of walking around in briefs that left little to the imagination. She wasn't having any of that this go around._

 _Naomi was licking and sucking Emily's clit with a desperate appetite. She didn't think Emily would pull the plug but she wasn't taking any chances. She needed to show her how much she wanted her. How much she'd missed her._

..

Emily hadn't said much after she'd come out of the appointment. She looked dead tired. Effy didn't mention the run in with Jameson. She also didn't ask about how the appointment went. If her appearance was any indication, it had been fucking rough for Emily. The only thing offered freely was that she had an appointment day after next and that the therapist wanted to see her often – for a while. The brunette didn't think this was a bad thing. She needed support and guidance and while she and Naomi would do anything for her, this was beyond them. She hated that Jameson played any role in this. The knowledge he had gotten her the help she would need didn't erase what he was, what he'd threatened them with. They arrived at Naomi's and went up to the door. Effy put the key in and went to open it when she was stopped by Naomi blocking the door.

"Effs..." There was a look of surprise in the blonde's eyes.

"Naomi... what the fuck? Let us in." She tried nudging the door but Naomi was holding it. She glared at her.

"About that. Funny thing happened while you were out." She was kicking herself for being too into the conversation and not sending a message. "I need you to keep an open mind and... well... prepare yourself."

"I have a feeling it's not that _funny_. If it is, you're shit at telling jokes. Now open the door." Naomi could see Emily leaning against the wall. "Naoms."

"I should have called or texted. But I blanked. And I should have warned you."

"Is it her?" Effy's eyebrow went up at the male voice. Emily also took note. Neither woman wanted to deal with strangers.

"Who the fuck is that?" Naomi groaned and opened the door. Emily stood next to Effy and they were face to face with James. His smile couldn't get bigger.

"Emily... holy shit. It's really you." He launched himself forward and Emily had no chance of stepping back. Even if all of her screamed to run from the strange male, she wasn't afforded the opportunity as he put his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. She gasped.

"Fitch hug." Even as she muttered the two words, she put her arms around him immediately and started crying. "James..."

..

Jameson had wandered into his bedroom and kicked off his shoes. He could feel the lorazepam kicking in. He undressed and lay in bed naked. He pulled the gauze off his hand and it came off bloody. He'd popped half the stitches. It hadn't bled too much so he didn't care. His driver had parked the car in the garage and was downstairs getting rid of the staff for a few days. Jameson didn't need witnesses to any erratic behavior. He'd spent a lot of his time taking care of business and loose ends but for the next week he needed a stable, quiet reprieve. He knew a phone call would be made to his father explaining the situation. There wasn't anything the old man would or could do. He was off handling his own affairs. He couldn't remember what country he was in now. It didn't matter.

His driver walked into the bedroom with a tray holding a few of bottles of water, fruit and protein bars. He made room for it on the nightstand. He sat on the bed next to the naked Jameson and stared in his eyes. "They'll be gone soon. No one to bother you. I'll be in my room unless you want me to stay here." Jameson shrugged.

"Does it matter?"

"It does. You know I'm not going anywhere." The driver was undoing his shirt cuffs and rolling up his sleeves. His tie already askew. "But I will give you space."

"Does it bother you?"

"What?" It was a conversation they hadn't had in a while. He thought they might never have to have it again but he'd been wrong.

"Having to be here."

"No. I made my choice long ago."

"Was it a choice?"

"Jameson. Close your eyes and let the pills work."

"Only one of them is working right now."

"So let it. You've been on fumes too long. Don't deny it."

"Do you even like me?"

"You know I love you."

"I don't know that. I wish I did but I don't."

"You're stubborn but you know it. You choose to ignore it. Now close your eyes. I'll stay until you're asleep and then I'll bring up the cot."

"Alright." Jameson turned over on his stomach. "Thanks Edison." His driver smiled and shook his head.

"You're welcome little brother." He would need to call their father soon but nothing would change. He would always be his keeper.

..

 _Naomi was in pure ecstasy. She'd attempted once (three times) to initiate sex in the past month. All with zero success. The first time was due to Emily protesting about her stitches and not wanting to hurt the blonde. The other two times were a little more delicate. Therapy had been difficult at the start and had been getting progressively worse it seemed. Even with James there for week one, it was all uphill. She needed plenty of reminders from Effy to sit tight and be there when necessary, that she couldn't solve the problems that arose. Emily had to take control of her own future now. Emily often ended up sleeping at Effy's after rough appointments._

 _She was seeing the therapist three times a week for the first three weeks. No one expected it to be easy but it had been brutal the first two weeks. Admitting practically a lifetime of abuse was no easy feat. Accepting that it hadn't been her fault at all hadn't been accomplished but Dr. Thorne had high hopes. Emily began having nightmares the first week. She was recalling encounters between the sisters vividly. So many moments of abject treatment pushed aside, not forgotten but not recalled until prodded, were a bit of her undoing in those first two weeks._

 _But she wasn't thinking about any of that. Naomi was being selfish. She was thinking of how good Emily tasted, how good she felt. Her hands wandering over her body as she feasted with her mouth. Moans suppressed. A squirming body under her. So wet. She was drinking from her like a thirsty man in a desert. You'd think you'd never had sex before. I have had. You know I have... but this... this isn't sex.. this is... Emily. She let out her moan against the throbbing clit she was taking carnal nourishment from. She heard her name being moaned and decided to push her luck. She pushed a finger inside Emily slowly, giving her plenty of time to say no or to stop this altogether. When she didn't, Naomi began slipping it in and out of her gently. She could feel her trembling at the sensation. It surprised her when it didn't take long at all for Emily to start clamping down on Naomi's finger, moaning with abandon. While it was the_ _brown-eyed girl climaxing, it was the_ _blue-eyed girl whose eyes rolled to the back of her head with sheer delight and satisfaction._

..

Effy was staring at Emily holding on to James for dear life. She could feel the emotions and was close to tears. Naomi had already shed some and she didn't even seem embarrassed by it. Emily kept saying his name over and over while stroking his hair. She was sobbing it. James wasn't dry-eyed neither. It took a while but he finally pulled back and wiped at his eyes with his shirt sleeve. Emily laughed and wiped at her own with her fingers.

"I can't believe it Emsy. You're really here." She nodded then looked at him.

"You're so grown up. Oh my god." She hugged him again. When younger he likely would have complained but not now. He has gained someone he'd thought lost to him years ago. Even if it meant he'd lost Katie, he had Emily back. "How did... When did you... How are you here?" She pulled back and looked at him. Her hands cupping his face. She could feel the day-old stubble under her fingers. She almost giggled at the thought of him shaving.

"I had a call from Katie's solicitor. She had a... well a will and testament and he wanted me to come to London for the reading and disbursement. So I booked a flight. Then before I even had a chance to pack, I got another call. Some bloke who at first didn't want to tell me his name but then talked about you and I ended up being rather rude really but I thought you were dead... so I thought he was being cruel and I wasn't putting up with it." Emily's eyebrows shot up when he said he thought her dead. "But he gave his name and then texted my mobile with a photo of you. Wasn't a great photo but it looked like it could have been you... or Katie come to think of it, but yeah... here I am."

"You thought I was dead?"

"Yeah..." James blushed. "Katie told me you'd died... said it was an... bollocks.. said it was an overdose... about three years ago? Might be longer... or close to. I didn't take it too well."

"What was the bloke's name?" Effy piped up. Tears had been forgotten. She wanted to know who had contacted him and was afraid of the answer. The hair on the back of her neck standing up.

"Uh... Jameson."


	35. Chapter 34

Apologies for taking so long... I have a new job (yay to earning money) and it's been hell on my schedule and energy... but I'm getting back into it slowly... it's kind of a short chapter... apologies for that too...

Thank you to marsupial for always having my back and pushing me to keep writing even when I'm tired... she let me off the hook the first week I was working but was on me this week...

Thank you to my loyal reviewers dammit naomily, mynameislizzie2 and tiger trap... thank you ladies...

Aeacus - where are you?

Special shout out to first time writer **tiger trap** \- she posted a one shot yesterday and a first chapter to another story today... give her love.. she's another reader turned writer and we are ALL the better for it.

ok.. on to the chapter... no warnings... phew...

* * *

Chapter 34

 _Naomi and Emily were curled up around the other. Emily had tried reciprocating and Naomi had said today was all about Emily. She had wanted to show her how much she was wanted. She didn't know what to say. When the blonde first said no, the twin had immediately thought she wasn't wanted or desired. The word broken flashed in her head. She'd been assured of the contrary._

 _.._

 **Back to four weeks earlier...**

"What did you say?" Naomi was glaring at James. She should have asked more while they'd been sitting alone. He was still next to his sister but her arms had dropped. She was pale. James looked at Emily and got worried.

"Ems... Hey... What?" He touched her arm and she jumped. She closed her eyes. The emotional roller coaster was crashing and she was having a bit of a panic. She had heard Jameson's name, heard Katie's voice and remembered therapy just a little bit ago. She felt sick. He stared at her and then looked at the girls. "She's reacting to _his_ name? Why? Who the fuck is the tosser? Did he hurt her?" In a second, James turned from a happy boy to a fierce looking young man.

"He didn't." Naomi answered. She couldn't lie and say he had. As much as she hated him, she couldn't lie. But she also couldn't divulge Emily's secrets. Especially to her brother. Effy had moved closer to the twin and taken hold of her wrist. She opened her eyes. She had wanted to anchor her in a way.

"Sorry... I just..." She looked at Effy who merely shrugged. She didn't want to add weight to what Emily was feeling. She knew it was a mixture of likely too many things. Guilt or fear over what she felt was not something Effy wanted to encourage in any way. Emily turned back to James. "I'm sorry..."

"Why did his name do that?" He tentatively reached out but didn't touch his sister. He let her stretch her hand out and touch his. Effy was watching him. He looked at Emily directly and then the others. "Something's up... either with him or... Katie." He paused. "I know how she died. Not the details but it wasn't an accident. I'm not stupid. She said you were dead Emily. And yet, here you are. So what is the deal?"

"I don't think... I can't talk about it right now... ok?" She felt herself worried. Would he walk out? Would he be angry? Blame her? James looked in her eyes then nodded.

"When you're ready then."

..

Emily had retreated to the bedroom. The girls and James were left alone to talk. Effy had initally offered tea but the exchanged looks between them all had her going for beer. She handed out the bottles and then gave Naomi a look. "You get one. You're still on pain killers."

"I haven't had a pill in 24 hours. I think I'm good for a couple of these." They sat on the couches and started drinking. It was James who broke the silence.

"She can't tell me but I need to know."

"It's up to her to tell..." Naomi started but was cut off.

"Your darling sister Katie fucked Emily up in every way. Name it and she did it." She got a scathing look from Naomi. "Save it. He needs to know what a shitstorm he's being brought into. And given who the fuck brought him in, I think it's best to cut to the chase. No to mention Emily's in no shape for the foreseeable future."

"Fucking Hell Eff." Naomi took a long pull and her eyes stayed on James. He was looking at his beer and she could see he was trying to reign in his thoughts.

"In every way... What's that mean?" He took a drink and the brunette could see the beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

"What you think it means and worse." Naomi was about to say something but Effy stopped her. "Your other sister wasn't caring. She could be vile and..."

"I know."

"You know?" Effy looked at him.

"Signs were there... when we were younger... when our parents were still..." He took another drink. "I didn't make heads or tails of it. I was a kid. A pretty ignorant one at that. And as I got older, I didn't think about it." He shook his head. "They were gone.. and Emily was dead."

"It got worse." He swallowed and nodded. "I'm sure you can think of worst case scenarios all on your lonesome. Multiply it by ten."

"Ten?" He shook his head. "I can come up with a lot of things. I've seen enough... with what I do, you end up seeing the best and the worst in people."

"What you _do_?"

"I went to school for midwifery. I help deliver babies in low income or rural areas." He took another drink. "Sometimes the reasons for the pregnancy... it ain't pretty." He met Effy's eyes. "So I can think of a lot of worst case. And you're telling me to imagine it ten times that?" She nodded. He leaned back into the couch as if the air had been taken from him.

"Effy it isn't your place..." The blonde tried to temper the conversation.

"No. It isn't but ask me if I care." She turned to face Naomi. "I'm not letting _anyone_ walk in off the street and damaging her more. He may be her brother but.."

"Hey." He spoke. It wasn't loud but it was demanding. "I _am_ her brother. And I am _not_ my sister Katie. I don't need the details but if her reaction to that tosser's name is indication, then whatever the story is... I'm not here to duplicate it or make it worse. I'm here because I missed her." His voice broke. "I thought she was fuckin' gone. I mourned her. I never stopped caring or asking about her. Even as Katie told me things I didn't like..." Effy and Naomi both caught his words but didn't interrupt. "So don't you give a thought to me being here to damage her. I'd give my life for her in a heartbeat." His face was red in anger. Effy nodded. He swallowed and let himself breathe again.

"You didn't push her." Naomi stated. "Her reaction to his name... you didn't push."

"No." He shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Cause whatever happened to her... she's traumatized. I could see it in her eyes." He drank the rest of his beer. "I've seen so many women in the past two years... I was getting my degree and interning. And you see... a lot of abuse victims. They all have that look in their eyes. Panic. Fear. Self-loathing." He looked older as he spoke. "I never thought I'd see that look in my own sister... Fuck...I really believed her dead." He ran a hand through his hair. "Mind if I get another of these?"

..

Emily had laid on the bed but hadn't bothered to close the door. There was a tug deep in her that didn't want to put a physical barrier between the people that meant everything to her. She could hear the voices. The conversation. The tone. Some words were lost but she was hearing enough of it to know James was hearing the gist of what had happened to her. Effy wasn't being gentle but she also wasn't spreading out Emily's darkest deeds for her brother to hear. _No. It's worse. She's letting him imagine things._ She cringed at the thought. _You could put a stop to it. Get up. Tell them to stop talking. Tell him yourself what went on._ She shook her head as answer to her own internal voice.

 _No. Can't do that, can you? You're a coward. You let yourself be used and now you're letting your past be told by others cause you can't speak about it_. She curled up on the bed and pulled Naomi's pillow to her face. She breathed in her scent deeply and used it to calm herself, her thoughts. She knew it was unfair to use Naomi's being as her personal security blanket but right now it's all she had. She needed to keep breathing, to keep existing. She couldn't disappear. So if smelling Naomi's pillow allowed her to do that, she would.

..

Three beers each for Effy and James later, and the brunette had managed to give enough detail to paint a horrible nightmarish picture. She'd managed to include what had happened the day everything exploded all around them. As they'd talked, she could see James for being who he was, what he claimed to be. A loving and concerned brother. She wanted him to understand what Emily would be facing. Something neither she nor Naomi had totally grasped when they'd set about to help her. They'd not known the depths of Emily's pain and peril and had dove in headfirst. And while she expected her kin to want the best for Emily, it hadn't been the case with her sister – her abuser. Effy wanted him to be forearmed with as much information as she could give. Naomi had stopped at two beers but had a forlorn look about her.

It was both heartbreaking and fortifying to see her best friend so committed to the other woman. She'd kept everyone she'd been with at such a distance. Even with the despicable though lingering Laura, Naomi had kept up walls. It wasn't so with Emily. She was as all in as she could be. _So are you,_ Effy admitted to herself. Her life had shifted and she wanted, needed both Emily and Cook in her daily life. She knew there might be some sort of psychological term for the supposed attachment but she knew it was more than that. Effy had found her family.

"Do you... do you think she would mind if I went and talked to her?" James wasn't slurring his words but there was a sleepy quality to his tone. "I want to be closer... closer to her." Effy smiled as she remembered Emily saying that not long ago about Naomi. She shook her head.

"I think she'd be ok with it." Effy had spotted the bedroom door open on one of her trips to and from the kitchen. She had understood that Emily hadn't closed it on purpose. James stood up and slowly walked out of the living room.

"We're going to be alright, aren't we Eff?" The blonde asked. Effy simply smiled at her until they giggled.

..

 _ **Two weeks later...**_

Effy had gotten a call and agreed to meet in public. She'd literally chosen a bench in the middle of Russell Square. It didn't have any particular meaning other than she didn't think the girls or anyone she knew would see her. She wanted answers. She spotted him as he approached. He wasn't dressed in his customary suit. He looked almost casual. She could see how he blended in with the other passers-by. He was tall but didn't draw attention to himself. He'd seen her but he wasn't fixated on her. It was intriguing to her how he moved. If she hadn't been paying attention, she wouldn't have been the wiser to his own observation of the area. His eyes dissecting people while pretending to look around absently like everyone else.

"Clever." She said when he finally reached her. He smiled and he was almost handsome. Older. A few days scruff on him. If she wasn't realizing how much she cared about Cook, she could see a certain appeal. Even with the danger about him. "Where's your boss?" She said the word as she felt it – dirty, sickening.

"Home. Feeling unwell." His voice was a lot calmer than the day they'd first actually spoken. He sat back on the bench, relaxed.

"You don't have the same last name." He turned to look at her. She was waiting for him to say something, to deny it.

"How did you find out?" He went back to looking at the people walking by.

"I took a picture the other day. Started searching and backtracking Jameson." She shrugged. "It's what I do. Pull at threads and find things out. I hadn't set my sights on him because I hadn't the focus. But the other day..." She turned to look at him. "That made it clear I had to." He turned his body to face her.

"He said you were the brightest of them. Let's make it formal then." He extended his hand. "Edison Corbyn." She looked at his hand and decided to shake it.

"Elizabeth Stonem as you're well aware." His hands weren't altogether soft. She could feel callouses. "You have different mothers."

"Yes." He smiled and released her hand. "Both dead though. Father is all we have left. And that's not saying much."

"Why aren't you a Mather?"

"My mum." He smiled. "She wasn't married to him and didn't want to give him the satisfaction. In the end, she relented and allowed him into our lives. Not sure it was the best idea but it happened."

"So what? You're the older Cinderella looking after the baby of the family?" He continued to smile. "Or did you earn this as punishment?"

"Not a punishment." He shook his head and took out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one and offered the pack to Effy. She took one and he lit it for her. After a couple of minutes, he began. "My brother has... some mental instability. It's under control... or has been for a few years now." He smoked deeply. "What you saw the other day was... unavoidable. It's been coming on for a bit and certain... events pushed him out of his comfort zone."

"How tragic." She glared at him. "Clearly he's making life absolutely peachy for the rest of us."

"I know he's..." He shook his head. "He can be a prick."

"You don't say."

"What is it you want Elizabeth?" He took a drag off his cigarette and licked his lips. "I won't apologize for him. It's not my job."

"What is your job?"

"To keep him safe." He said it as it he were telling her the time of day. "To keep him from doing harm to himself."

"I see. So being a gangster doesn't fall into that?" She had forgotten what it felt like to smoke. The edge it gave her or felt like it. "How many bodies has he racked up since he's been in town?"

He was staring at her. "For clarity, I'm here of my own volition and preference." He lowered his voice. "Being a so-called gangster is the family business. Do enough digging and you'll find that out. You'll also find yourself in more trouble than it's worth." He finished his smoke and crushed it out under foot. He stood up. "Have a drink with me."

"What?" She wasn't entirely shocked as men often approached her but given their conversation she hadn't expected it.

"I don't get a lot of free time. It's a nice day. There's a pub up that way and I fancy a pint."

"Are you having a laugh?"

"No." He extended his hand. "But if we're going to talk about shite I don't want to discuss and likely shouldn't, having a cold glass in my hand goes a long way. Having a beautiful girl to look at... well... not going to deny the perks of that."

..

 _ **Present Day...**_

"James asked me to move in with him." Emily heard herself say it as she pulled the blonde's arm tighter around her. Naomi didn't tense up. She knew it was coming. He'd approached her first. James had seen how they were together and didn't want to take anything away from Emily. He yearned to be close to her, to make up for the time they had lost. Thanks to their dead sister, he had the means to provide for the two of them comfortably. But that was a different issue altogether.

"Is it what you want?" She asked Emily. It was a small question she and Effy had been asking whenever the twin seemed to state something as if she was asking for permission. A small reminder that it was up to her what she did, nobody else.

"I think so." She replied, still holding on to Naomi. "I... He's not like Katie."

"No. He isn't."

"He wants me to decide... said he wouldn't be upset if I said no."

"That's good." Naomi had gained a fair amount of admiration for the youngest Fitch. He was dedicated to his sister. He'd shown that. Even when he'd gone back home to make the arrangements for a permanent move, he'd phoned her every day on a phone he'd purchased for her. He'd made her go with him to pick it out though. The only reason he'd insisted on getting her a phone was to liberate her, give her one step towards autonomy.

"I told him I wanted to talk to you about it." Emily turned around in Naomi's arms. She looked at her. "I don't want to not be with you... but I think I want to see what it feels like to..."

"Do things on your own." She smiled. "I get it."

"You're not upset?" Those brown eyes hopeful.

"About you wanting to be yourself? How could I be upset about that? Emily... I care about you. I want what's best for you. I'm not going anywhere if that's what you're afraid of."

"Ok." Emily let out a breath she'd been holding and Naomi felt her relax. "I want to live with him... for a while. But..."

"But what?"

"Maybe we can try... dating?" Naomi laughed. They'd been sharing a bed, had been sexually active, and Emily was talking about dating. "We haven't really..."

"No... I don't suppose we have." She watched as Emily smiled widely. "We can try dating." She pushed back a stray hair behind her ear. "Should I call you then? Set it up and all?" Emily giggled.

"Would it be totally stupid if I said yes?"

"Not at all."


	36. Chapter 35

I know, I know... I'm late... though it's hardly an appointment...

Work has kept me off the laptop as my eyes can't take the strain after a full day in front of a bloody computer. I apologize sincerely to all my readers for keeping you waiting.

 **marsupial1974** has been nudging me to continue plugging away at the chapter.. so give her some love...

also **tigertrap** has been breathing life into the fandom.. show her some love too. It isn't easy diving in and she's done so splendidly.

I know we feel like the fandom is dying but with every movie any of our kids are in, it gives Skins a boost. Keep the show and the fandom in your hearts.

This one is a little shorter than others but I wanted to get something up and running.. much love to you all.

* * *

Chapter 35

Cook was sitting in his wheelchair staring out the window. It has been a week since he'd moved in with Effy. Or rather was moved in. She'd not given him a choice. He'd tried protesting about not needing a caretaker and she'd merely glared at him silently once. After that, every time he opened his mouth to offer an alternative to him moving in, she would poke him in a bruised spot. There were a lot of bruised spots. He'd finally given up. He'd not bothered to shave during his entire hospital stay and had developed a good beard. It was scruffy as he hadn't tended to it. He was also in dire need of a haircut.

He could smell dinner cooking. He smiled at the thought of a domestic Effy. He hadn't even considered she ate real food. It was Effy. To him that was as mysterious as the galaxy. He heard the bedroom door open and turned to watch her walk in with a set of clippers in hand. "I swear you look dangerous no matter what you 'ave in yer hands." She rasied an eyebrow and plugged the clippers into the wall. He smiled and turned the wheelchair to face her. It would be a while yet before he would be able to move about on his own. It made him feel impotent. He would have months of recuperation and physical therapy for his leg. "What's a matter? Not liking the shaggy dog look on me?"

"I like it just fine." She wheeled his chair around and locked it in place. She put on a 1" guard and turned on the clippers. A soft buzzing filled the room. "Just think it's easier to talk to you if I have something in my hands."

"I've got something you can put in yer hand..." He snickered.

"Cook." It was a bit of a warning. He closed his mouth and felt her start to use the clippers against his head. She was two passes in when she started to talk. "I met up with Jameson's driver a few weeks ago." She'd had one hand on his shoulder and gripped him when she felt him start to turn his head. "You'll fuck up the haircut. Don't move."

"You fuckin' say shit like that and expect me to not move..."

"Yes. I do." He finally grunted and she took a breath. She passed the machine over his head and could see the hair falling. "I needed answers Cook. Answers no one could give me."

"And that fucker could?"

"Yes." Effy brushed the hair off his head and his shoulders. "He's Jameson's brother."

"You're fuckin' jokin."

"I'm not. Long story, not worth my time. But he _obviously_ knows Jameson. His intentions." Effy continued clipping away as she waited for him to take it in, waited for him to be ready to hear her.

"So you met up..."

"Yes..."

"And?"

"We went for a pint."

"What the fuck?" She clipped the top of his ear. "Ow! Fuck.."

"I told you not to move." She stepped back and turned off the clippers. She crossed her arms and was staring at him. The fury in his eyes was almost intoxicating. She wanted to smile but didn't. Cook knew she could handle herself in most occasions but he never ceased to get protective. And, while juvenile and sometimes maddening, it was a turn on for her when he got like that.

"You went for a fuckin' drink with that bastard Effy. You can't expect me to not react." She shrugged. "No. You can't do that. You can't do the shoulder thing.. you met with him... he's a piece of..."

"Yes, I met with him. Yes, I went to a pub with him." She met his eyes. "I'm my own person Cook. I'm not stupid. I'm not reckless. I took a calculated risk. It's in the past. It obviously didn't do any harm so shut up, turn around and let me finish." His jaw was set and he looked about to argue but turned around. She let out another breath and started cutting his hair again. "So we went for a drink..."

 _They sat in a booth in the back. She'd never noticed the pub before, not that she could possibly know all of them in the city. But it was surprising that it had been close by, fairly busy and she'd not noticed it._ Hiding in plain sight. _She was sitting with her arms crossed as he ordered two pints. The waitress was older. She'd smiled at the two of them but it was clear she wasn't looking at them. Like she was used to seeing and not seeing the patrons. Effy would make it a point to never come here again._

 _Edison sat watching her and casting glances around. He was smooth. She'd give him credit for that. It appeared totally effortless for him to see everything and give the air of complete apathy. The glasses were set before them and the waitress disappeared. He took a long pull from his and licked his lips._

" _Make it a habit do you?" Her voice was low but it wasn't shy._

" _What?"_

" _Drinking before dwelling into your brother's shit." He let out a chuckle and shook his head._

" _I don't dwell in his shit. I barely drink. I don't do drugs. Smoking's about my only real vice. And only because it doesn't alter my consciousness."_

" _And it gives you an excuse to step out... survey the scene from a different perspective."_

" _Clever again." His eyes stayed on her for the most part but he was still scanning between blinks it seemed._

" _What's he want with us?" She had her hand on the glass and could feel the condensation on her fingers. He looked at her eyes. She shuddered. She could really see a coldness underneath._

" _With the lot of you? I'm not sure. You're about the only one with any skill set he could use." He drank again. "You're not drinking." She put the glass to her lips and took a sip. He smiled. "Look... you don't want to be here. I won't force you. But I don't want to talk about my brother. You can't force me." He sat back. "You can leave when you like. I'll drink your beer." She kept her eyes on him and drank half her pint in one go._

" _I've drank. Talk." She knew indulging him likely wasn't the smartest thing but she wanted to know about his brother. She needed to know. Were they safe?_ You know you're not _._

" _You want to know how long he plans on holding shit over your heads."_

" _For starters that would be delightful." She knew he'd called her bluff but she wanted this to be over sooner than later. "I also want to know why he set up the whole therapy thing for Emily. What's he gaining from that? Is he using the doctor to get into her head?"_

" _No." He looked down at his glass. "He set that up cause he feels responsible."_

" _Responsible?"_

" _Yeah... Laura... he was responsible for her. And he.. he failed."_

" _Responsible how?"_

" _She belonged to him."_

" _How middle ages."_

 _Edison laughed. "Not exactly but it was... unusual. For the first few years, it was very co-dependent. He seemed to need her as much as she him. It was not what my father wanted for him, what he expected. But he'd allowed it to an extent. He didn't want to push him further than Jameson could handle and still keep him under his thumb. He knew there was a... sexual component to their relationship and wanted to know very little about that."_

" _Thought the apple wouldn't fall far from the rotten tree."_

" _My father.. he's not depraved."_

" _But your brother is." He finished his beer and waved for another round._

" _I won't claim to understand him... or his needs." He stopped talking until the new round was brought over. Effy hadn't finished hers but drank more of it as the fresh one was placed in front of her. "After the fourth year, Jameson started distancing himself from her. He understood his urges better than most and knew they couldn't continue. She wanted something that was beyond him. He set her up. Nice flat, some seed money. He'd put her through school before that. She was good at what she did. Fashion... design."_

" _You really tell an exciting tale."_

" _I didn't think you wanted to be entertained. I thought you wanted answers."_

" _I do but I don't want a sob story. I'm not feeling empathy for him or whatever emotion you think is warranted.. why is he responsible and for what?"_

" _Like I said, she belonged to him. He knew... we all did... that she was mentally unwell when he finally broke it off. But he insisted she was ok, that she had her career. And he kept playing it off as she was in control. When he met Emily... he'd realized that he'd done someone harm by leaving Laura to her own devices. She had gone mental."_

 _Effy shook her head. "Realized she'd gone mental? That's bullshit. Your brother isn't stupid. He had to have seen she wasn't right before that. And why would he care about Emily? What Laura was doing to her."_

" _I told you I don't claim to know what's in his head. I'm telling you what happened. You want to know what's in his head, ask him." They looked at each other without flinching. Edison looked away first. Effy saw it as a small victory. "Jameson… He tried shoehorning his way between Laura and Emily.. put a bit of distance between the two. Thought that would be enough. But it didn't work as he expected."_

" _And he killed her."_

" _Jesus.." Edison looked around. "Fucking watch what you say."_

" _No one's looking this way.. like at all... Thinking you're high enough on a food chain.."_

" _Doesn't mean no one's listening."_

" _Fine." She replied and rolled her eyes at him. He reached out and took one of her wrists in his hand. She sat up straight and felt that chill up her spine. "Let go."_

" _This isn't a game Effy." His voice was calm and steady. It wasn't menacing but it wasn't inviting either. "People here would gut you for less information. There are some who would love nothing else than to get anything on my brother. And not a one would even flinch at the thought of hurting you."_

 _"Cops included?" She wanted to pull her wrist out of his grasp but didn't want to seem cowardly, or hint at the depth of her discomfort. No matter how nice or peaceful by comparison he seemed, Edison was Jameson's brother._

" _They're the least of our worries frankly." He kept his eyes on hers. "You need to focus on keeping my brother, and to an extent me, on good terms."_

" _I'd like you to remove your hand." She was thrilled that her voice was as cold as his eyes. To her surprise, he let her go._

" _Look… I don't have any skin in this. You get hurt, your mates get hurt…" He shrugged. "I'd feel a mild bit of remorse but it wouldn't last and I certainly wouldn't lose much sleep. Keep that in mind."_

" _So why are you here?"_

" _Because you asked and I had nothing else to do."_

" _Really?"_

" _No." He finished his pint. "I need you out of his life as much as you want him out of yours. Having you… well mostly Emily… in his constant panorama is a detriment to having him balanced. And to do what we do… he needs all of his senses."_

" _So keep him away."_

" _I plan on it… but you need to keep her away from him."_

" _Not a problem."_

" _I mean it. She doesn't answer his calls. Or texts."_

" _What about the therapist's office?" Effy didn't want another repeat encounter._

" _They've different therapists." She shook her head. "I've got authority to speak to his doctor on Jameson's behalf. I'll see they're scheduled on opposite times." She nodded._

" _So that's it?"_

" _I guess so." He sat back in his chair. "You with Cook?"_

" _What business is that of yours?"_

" _Just seeing if I have competition."_

 _Effy laughed. "Full of yourself."_

" _Perhaps but it crossed your mind." There was a pause in the conversation. Their eyes playing some game of chicken even as she stood. She stood by him as he stayed in his chair. She leaned down._

" _There was never any competition." She whispered in his ear. "Cook wins… **every** time." She walked out without even looking back at him._

"So that's it? That's all that happened?"

"What did you expect?" Effy turned off the clippers and put them aside. She started brushing the hair off Cook's shoulders. He shrugged. "Were you expecting me to drop to my knees and…"

"No.. absolutely not.. I just.. I don't know." He was looking at his lap. She put her fingers under his chin and brought his face to look at her.

"Jealous?"

"I don't know… maybe."

"Don't be." Effy smiled and pulled off her shirt. "I think you need a bath to get rid off all the hair." She wheeled his chair around as a wide smile appeared on Cook's lips.

..

The day had come and Emily was beside herself. She had looked through her wardrobe, freshly bought by James much to her initial annoyance. She knew he had money thanks to their deceased sister. But because of the source of the money, she'd not wanted any of it. He argued that it should be put to good use. After a couple of rounds where he proved as stubborn every Fitch before them, she relented.

In truth, she was secretly happy about the freedoms he was indulging her in. She'd had clothes, and other frivolities before but they weren't given freely. She'd had to earn them one way or another. James wanted nothing from her other than Emily to be herself. Something she wasn't entirely sure about. But he encouraged and cheered her on nonetheless. They were learning who the other person was and it was a good feeling. To know she wasn't alone. She sighed and looked around at the mess.

She couldn't understand how she could have gone through the entire set of clothes and found nothing that felt right. She finally sat cross legged on the floor and stared at the empty closet, at the bed covered in discarded outfits. At some point, she'd found her mobile and was staring at it when her brother walked in.

"Whoa. What happened? Did your closet spew? Cause really sis... this is... whoa." He waved his hand at the bed and plopped down beside her. She looked at him.

"I was trying on things to wear. Naomi is..."

"Yes, taking you out tonight. We have talked about this. Multiple times." He smiled and leaned back on his hands as he stretched out. "So your closet..."

"Nothing is right."

"I see. If you're asking for a go at more shopping, we can. You've a few hours yet I think..."

"No. James..." She sighed. "I didn't say it to get you to spend more money. I don't... I don't want that. It's just.. nothing looks right."

"Hmm... I made you try things on when we went shopping. It all looked great." He nudged her with his shoulder. It was something he was getting used to. She was the elder sibling but he was constantly feeling wiser. He knew it was more so because she was still getting her bearings being fairly autonomous after a lifetime of being in Katie's shadow. He'd had the opportunity to form himself. Emily hadn't. She'd been stunted in her growth. "Ems… you're worrying for zero reason."

"Right. I'm worrying for nothing… it's only the girl I've dreamed of…" She put the phone down. "I don't think this was a good idea. I mean really… a date? Who am I kidding James? I'm not some schoolgirl. What the hell was I.."

He took her hand in his and smiled. " You were thinking you wanted a do over. Nothing wrong with that Emily. You missed out on a lot. There's nothing wrong with trying to get some of that."

"But a date? I was mad asking for that."

"Everyone has second thoughts about all sorts of crap. That's all this is. You aren't wrong for wanting a second chance or a third or a fourth... you love her."

"What if she doesn't…"

"Please... one look at that girl and it's plain obvious she's just as moony over you. Now, you need to take a breath and make a decision." He nodded at the clothes. "At least what color… then let ol'Britney take over." They both giggled at that.

"Only you James…" He stood up and pulled her to her feet. He began going through the clothes.

"I was a good drag queen I'll have you know."

"So your friend said." She reminded him of the man in women's clothes who'd approached them at the mall. Approach was an understatement. He practically pounced on her younger brother as they'd been standing by the fitting rooms in one store. After some hugging and laughing, James had explained that a year during uni he'd been exploring his feminine side.

"Sheila was always jealous that I had better legs." He pulled out a blue top and looked at it. "Yeah… this one." He started pulling at the pile of clothes. "I know we got you some black jeans that would look great with the top."

"James." He ignored her. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach and hear the doubts in her head. "James."

"I'm not listening if you're going to go on about cancelling. You're not cancelling. This was not a dumb idea. End of. Now get in the shower so we have enough time to do your hair."


	37. Chapter 36

I know, I know... I'd apologize but life happens. New job, fam stuff, my birthday and USWNT won the world cup.. too much going on and I didn't want to half-ass a chapter. We are getting closer to the end.

Huge shout out to **marsupial1974** \- without her, this chapter would not be possible at ALL. From her musical influences to her encouragements to her holding my sanity together as she tells me I don't look good in orange... she is THE BESTEST in the whole world end of, full stop. She's been working equally as hard on her chapter even with all her life stuff. Give her some love.

I know the fandom is hella slow but it's not dead yet.

Proceed to the chapter with caution... it's a doozie... any mistakes are my own... I don't own Skins... off to see Kaya in Crawl tonight though I don't like creature movies

* * *

Chapter 36

 _The therapist was sitting across from Emily, watching her. The younger woman had been quiet since she'd arrived. She'd said the barest minimum in terms of small talk about the most recent events in her life. But for the last seven minutes she'd been staring out the window._

 _"Emily... Emily."_

 _"Yes?" She still hadn't looked away from the window._

 _"You're quiet. Therapy is a dialogue. Doesn't do much good if you don't talk. What is it you're thinking?"_

 _"Taking it all in. Nothing is ever simple is it?"_

..

The doorbell rang and Effy answered it. On the other side stood James. She stared at him waiting for him to say something. She hadn't been expecting a Fitch visit. He smiled. They stared at each other another minute.

"Why aren't you home helping Cinderella?" She asked in what could have been taken as a pointed tone except there was a twinkle in her eye. She knew how much the date meant to both girls, to every one in the group.

"Oh she's better off waiting for her carriage by herself." He gave her his mischievous smile.

"Really?"

"No." He laughed. "I told her she was and then shuffled out of the flat. Then I waited around the corner of the building until Naomi showed up."

"Spying? How trusting. Thought she wouldn't show?"

"Never. That girl is all about my sister and... it's not a bad thing. You gonna invite me in or do I keep standing out here making the neighbor's tongue wag. Young stud standing here..." She rolled her eyes and turned her back on him as she went back into her living room. She left a laughing James to shut the door. "Is your worse half here or off to physical therapy?"

"He's getting dressed. Want something to drink?"

"Sure. Whatever's cold." He glanced in the direction of the bedroom but walked after Effy. He almost collided into her as she stopped, turned and looked at him.

"Why are you here?" She wasn't much on subtlety right then. While they had all bonded given the circumstances, she could sense his visit was more than casual.

"Can't a bloke come see his mates?"

"We're mates?" She paused. He smiled. He was so simple to read. There was never a true hidden agenda. "We're not that close yet."

"That's fair." He met her eyes. If he didn't know about her attraction and connection to Cook, James would have tried to kiss her. At least it was a strong impulse. She was beautiful and so in tune with her own energy. He could see why she was pure fire. "I need to have a chat with your boy."

"My boy?" Effy's face scrunched up to a mix of grimace and revolt.

"Your man?" She made a noise and walked into the kitchen with him following. "Whatever he is... I need to have a word."

"About?" She went into the fridge and grabbed a couple of bottles.

"Do I have to tell you?" He took a seat at the kitchen table.

"No." She handed over a beer. "But if you don't I might not let you out of the kitchen unharmed." He smiled while nodding. He understood her caution and the direct warning.

"I want to talk to him about Katie... about Emily." She raised an eyebrow at him and she hopped on to the kitchen counter. She gave him a look like she was taking him apart and he squirmed. "I need to..." He let out a breath and took a drink. "I just need to settle some things."

"As the male sibling marking his territory as protector? Or something else?"

"Jesus. I know Emily mentioned your all-seeing but how..." She shrugged. He took another drink and regarded her even more now. "Protector, I reckon. I know I'm younger and all but I need to say a few things."

"Say a few things about what?" Cook wheeled himself in and spoke, startling James. "Hey baby Fitch. What's 'appening?" He laughed at the reaction to his appearance.

"Jesus.. you two... like ninjas in a pod... you're bound to give someone a heart attack if you stay together." He met Cook's eyes as the older male smiled. "I need to talk to you." Cook looked Effy who gave no intimation that she knew what was happening. He looked at James.

"Go on then. What's this about?" He wheeled himself to the fridge to grab his own beer.

"You... you and my sisters."

..

"You sure it's cool enough in the car? I can turn the temp down."

"Naomi... it's fine." Emily couldn't help but beam at the nerves the blonde was exhibiting. From the moment she'd answered the door, she couldn't help but feel infinitely confident. The way Naomi had looked at her, had blushed and stammered. It was more than she could ask for, more than she thought she deserved but there it was. It wasn't an act. It wasn't that she felt pity for the younger twin. It was plain as day that the blonde was all hers. The voice of doubt in her head was silenced. She reached out and took Naomi's hand. It was warm. "Maybe we should turn the air a bit colder in here. Seems you're about to burn up." Naomi gave a small nervous laugh.

"That might help... but no promises."

..

"What about me and your sisters?" Cook wanted to feel indignant but mostly he was fighting shame. Only Naomi had called him to any real fault in all of what had happened but, in a way, he'd expected it from all of them. From the whole world. He'd been working undercover but he knew he'd made mistakes. Mistakes that had cost Emily the most.

"Have you thought about apologizing to Emily?" Cook looked at his lap. He felt more than saw Effy shift on her perch on the counter. She was glaring at James but said nothing. She couldn't protect him, not from this. No matter her instincts regarding Cook, she understood where the male Fitch was coming from. Cook's choices, his actions. Emily's actions, her acceptance of a dismal survival. Effy had thought about the circumstances and the mentality and grasped where the decisions and resignations had come from. She even understood Katie's basic, yet extremely destructive, consciousness. Understanding wasn't agreeing with. It was simply being able to view the perspective and knowing how to fight or protect against. It was part of Effy's skill set. She wasn't omniscient. But she was able to see all of the angles when it came to people. Cook finally shook his head. "Don't you think you should?"

"What am I supposed to say? Sorry I fucked up. Sorry I chose to do my job." He gritted his teeth as he spoke. "Sorry I let the monsters have at ya?"

"That's a start." James said and contemplated the bottle he was drinking from. He hadn't expected ready admittance. He'd braced himself for a reckoning but was rather glad it hadn't come to that.

"It's not enough." Cook shook his head. "Whatever my role then... whatever I say now... how can it ever be enough?"

"Don't know that it can be. But if you don't start somewhere, how will you know? She's going to therapy... she's trying really hard. Somedays, therapy hurts her more than other days. I see it. It's shit that I can't do anything... that I didn't know enough to stop Katie. But I'm doing what I can... to let her grow. Let her change into who she's meant to be."

"So why come at Cook?" Effy finally spoke. She met James' eyes. "I mean you've got your superhero cape on, splendid. Why not talk to her yourself? Why bring him into the fray? Why not let him work things out on his time, his own way?"

..

"A train? Really?" Emily was taken aback when they walked into the tube.

"I swear it's worth it." Naomi had pulled a small bag from the boot of her car when they'd parked. They hadn't ventured to a restaurant, which Emily had expected, but instead boarded a train. She refrained from asking the blonde for more information, trusting her. They arrived at their stop and Emily heard the name announced and looked at Naomi. "We're going to Kew Gardens?"

"You've already been?" While it wouldn't have been unusual for Emily to have been there as it was one of those top attractions that people wandered into, Naomi knew that the gardens themselves were only one aspect of their evening.

"No." Her eyes were taking everything in as they walked. There was a fair amount of foot traffic headed in the same direction. The stop wasn't far from the gate it seemed.

"No?" Naomi was only marginally surprised.

"No. It's not like I was out and about on my own." It sounded harsher than she meant. She saw Naomi's flinch and felt instantly badly. "I always wanted to visit. I'd read about it in a magazine."

"Well, this is even better that we get to have this as one of your firsts." They walked to the Elizabeth Gate. Naomi went to the ticket booth. "VIP reservation for Campbell, N." Emily was looking around and for a moment she felt oddly out of place, overdressed but then realized other people were equally dressed up.

"A little posh for gardens." Naomi was handed their tickets and a large parcel. "What's that?" It had the word Panzer on the side.

"Dinner. Come on you." She extended her hand for Emily to take. It wasn't empty but for a second. Their fingers finding their home in each other's grip. They walked through the gate and it was spectacular. The green all around. They were in the city but they may as well have been in a fantasy.

"This is beautiful." They walked along a path past signs for different areas within the gardens. The entrance gate they had used was only a couple of minutes walk from what looked like a stage and an area marked as reserved. Naomi led them to a spot in the reserved section of grass.

"Agreed... but it gets better. We're only seeing a little bit of it. There's a concert tonight and that's the real show."

"A concert? Here?" She looked around and thought about how surreal this was. She'd not expected this in a million years when she had brought up the idea of dating.

"Yes. A concert." The smile on Naomi's lips made Emily tremble inside. It was the purest joy she'd ever witnessed.

..

"Cause he has a part to play in her healing." James shifted in the chair. "Obviously, we all do but he was there." He pointed directly at Cook. "He knows exactly what went on then, knows what changed in Emily."

"I think we can all figure out what changed James." Effy's tone was cold. She knew what he was asking. It didn't sit well with her but was grasping the implications and the enormity of it.

"That may be. But you can't deny he was in the thick of it. That he can open certain doors or walls..."

"Opening doors? How, by bleeding for it?" The more Effy and James spoke, the more uncomfortable Cook felt.

"Not asking for a pound of flesh, Effy."

"Aren't you?" Cook said out loud.

"No. I'm asking for you to let her feel what she needs to, to let out what she needs to... She is holding back from seeing it all clearly. I want her happy, but she's not... processing it all. You need to rip that bandage off her and let the wound seep and heal. For her, as much as yourself. You don't feel the guilt the weight?"

"O'course I do. I'm not made of stone." He was wringing his clammy hands. He felt nervous, nauseous. He wanted to look at Effy, at James. See what it was they saw when they looked at him. But he couldn't bring himself to. "You think it'll really help?"

"Yes."

"What'ya reckon it'll do?"

"It will open a floodgate." James finished his beer but made no move to get up. "She won't be able to deny the hurt and anger I know she's feeling."

"You think this will solve it? That me talking to 'er... sayin' sorry will get her to... feel.."

"She's my sister. I know it will."

"I dunno I can handle that. Facing all that."

"You can." Effy said as she put her own empty bottle on the counter. She gracefully hopped off and got two more bottles.

"How are _you_ so sure?" Cook was still wringing his hands and looking at them.

"Cause I believe in you."

..

Naomi had pulled out a blanket from the bag she'd brought and laid out an amazing meal from the hamper she'd picked up at the gate. They'd sat down as others around them did the same. The sky was losing some of its light but it only added to the sense of magic Emily kept feeling. They dug into the food and talked. Mostly about the gardens. The exhibits that Naomi had seen and ones that she hadn't. They talked about art and museums that Emily wanted to visit. At some point, lights among the trees started to come on as did the lights on the stage. Naomi packed what they hadn't consumed as their appetite for food was temporarily sated.

Their attention was drawn to a woman speaking on the stage. She welcomed everyone to a special evening. She talked about how it would be an acoustic concert and said the artist's name. Naomi looked at Emily and whispered, asking if she'd heard of her. Emily shook her head no, realizing that their bodies had moved closer to each other as the evening had gone on. Their hands touched. She felt her breath catch as Naomi whispered even closer to her ear that she thought Emily would like the singer very much. She said something about her voice but Emily could only concentrate on continuing to breathe.

Soon the music started. First a piano, then some drums. Then there was the voice. It was full and luxurious. The woman was a beautiful redhead.

"Whoa." Naomi heard Emily's quiet exclamation and was elated.

 _You held my hand into the darkness_

 _I didn't care, it made me just want you more_

 _My god, your love, it seems so harmless_

 _I never noticed_

The song went on and the rhythm was incredible it lifted her lips into a permanent smile. She almost wanted to dance to it but it would have meant moving away from the blonde and she didn't want that. She leaned into Naomi. "She's incredible."

..

James had left in a rideshare after they'd finished a good amount of beer between him and Effy. Cook had drank one but then lost the taste for it. He'd gone into the bedroom and gotten in bed when Effy went to grab a shower. She came in wearing only a towel. He smiled but it wasn't as mischievous as she was used to. She went into her closet and grabbed an oversized shirt. She slipped it over her head and hung up the wet towel on the back of his empty wheelchair.

"What's on your mind slugger?" She got into bed beside him. Her hand touching his face. Cook closed his eyes.

"I dunno if I can do it Effs."

"Sure you can." He opened his eyes and took her hand in his.

"D'ya really believe in me?"

"Yes." She played with his fingers. She was letting down what walls she normally had on default. She didn't meant to lift the walls up but it was such normal behavior that she would forget they were there. But she needed Cook to hear her, feel her.

"Why?" She shrugged her shoulders. She didn't want to give in to his maudlin tone. But she also knew he had to do this. While the conversation had gotten a little lighter between the three of them as Effy and James drank, she could feel the heaviness in Cook. It was winding itself around his entire body.

"It's a feeling Cook. I know what you're capable of and this... this is something you can do." He went to turn his head and she cupped his cheek with her other hand. "Don't. You kept yourself alive. You kept her alive."

"But it wasn't enough."

"No. It wasn't. It was in the moment but beyond that... you need to do more." She could feel him trembling like a lost scared child. The cocky boy she'd met eons ago was nowhere to be seen. Instead, she was in the presence of the man he was. Flawed, broken and healing. But real. No illusions.

"And you think this is right?" Cook could feel the dread and fear under his skin. He wanted nothing more than for Effy to tell him to not go, to not do what James had asked of him.

"Yes."

..

"Naomi... this is... I haven't any words..." It was one of the last sentiments she'd managed to articulate before another song began. It was the fourth one so far. It had a solid piano sound. It had soul.

 _Standing on the platform, watching you go_

 _It's like no other pain I've ever known_

 _To love someone so much, to have no control_

 _You said, "I wanna see the world" and I said, "Go"_

It was hypnotic. The music and the voice. She didn't know if it was only her feeling this. Being this awakened. For a second, she closed her eyes and let the lyrics wash over her. Memories of the child lost were flooding her. She could see herself, running, laughing. Her parents. Her brother. Her sister, twin. Happiness. Joy. So much. All before.

 _But I think I'm lost without you_

 _I just feel crushed without you_

 _'Cause I've been strong for so long_

 _I never thought how much I needed you_

 _I think I'm lost without you_

Every syllable was causing a tug inside her. Her eyes opened and she would swear the world had stopped around them, people disappeared. The lights in the trees blinked in slow motion like fairies setting magic alive. She could hear the song but it was disembodied within her, all around her. It was in her skin. In her heart.

She could feel the memories coming to life with the music. How much had she lost? How much had she missed out on? She was trying to breathe through the panic and ache, the longing and yearning, the love and warmth filling her. She closed her eyes once more. She could see her parents larger than life. Her father's smile. Even her mother's withering looks were somehow causing longing. She saw her brother – his younger self full of irreverent energy. Lastly, her twin flashed in her memories. So long before the pain and suffering she inflicted.

..

Effy locked eyes with Cook as she climbed on top of him. Halfheartedly, he tried to push her off, but she wouldn't have it. She took his face in her hands and kissed his lips slowly. Then his cheeks. She pulled back enough to lock eyes. "You've made mistakes. But you're not a bad man. You have a good heart. You can help her now." She kissed him again. "You can do this." His breath was shallow and felt his body reacting. "You are strong enough to face this. You are enough." Even as he was still feeling regret and shame for what he didn't do for Emily, he couldn't help feeling what Effy was giving him. Love. Unconditional love.

"Eff..." She shushed him and continued kissing him. It was the gentlest she'd ever been. She was opening up herself in a way he'd likely never seen, never felt. She didn't know if anyone had. She was terrified but couldn't not. She needed him to see himself as she saw him, feel what she felt for him. She wanted him to latch on to that and gain what he needed to help himself and Emily to heal. A few more kisses and Cook put his arms around her. She could feel him melting into what she was offering. She let herself breathe.

..

 _Strangers rushing past, just tryna get home_

 _You were the only safe haven that I've known_

 _Hits me at full speed, feel like I can't breathe_

 _And nobody knows this pain inside me_

 _My world is crumbling, I should never have let you go_

Emily wanted to look at Naomi. She wanted to see if the song was affecting her as much. There was a serenity to the blonde's face but it wasn't the wave of emotions that Emily felt herself. At least, it didn't look like it. She closed her eyes and heard the next set of lyrics. They painted a vivid image in brilliant color.

 _I think I'm lost without you_

 _I think I'm lost, lost, lost_

 _Ooh-way, ooh-way, ooh-way, ooh, ooh_

 _I think I'm lost without you, you_

 _I just feel crushed without you_

 _And I've been strong for so long_

 _But I never thought how much I love you_

It was her. She could see young Naomi before she left, before Emily had fallen into despair. The smiles across classrooms. The silent looks. The emotions spreading through her chest was dizzying but she wanted them. She felt her hand being taken and her eyes opened to see Naomi looking at her. She mouthed if she was ok and Emily could only nod as the tears fell down her cheeks. She tilted her head into the crook of Naomi's neck, their bodies so incredibly close now. She listened to the rest of the music in the safe haven created by this perfect woman she was so madly in love with.

..

Effy and Cook kissed until their bodies gave in to the exhaustion of the day. She had rolled them on their side and watched as he curled into her. Her fingers drawing circles on his shoulder as his light snoring began. She'd thought they'd give in and have sex but it turned out they needed the intimacy kissing afforded more than a shag could render. She didn't know if he had gotten what he needed from her to do what he must but she sincerely hoped. She knew he'd absorbed enough love to sleep. She hoped for no nightmares. She was sure no one knew about those other than her. It was one of those things exposed by sharing a bed with him. She breathed his scent in and said a small prayer to the universe that they could all get through the next bit.

People think the event is what makes or breaks people. But it's not. It's only one part. It's the aftermath that cements who you will be in the future. She knew he had it in him to do what James had asked. And she hoped he could hold on to the good once he did voice things. She was scared for him but it would be far more terrifying if he didn't step up. It took another hour for her to drift off.

..

Naomi couldn't have picked a better evening. Everything had gone better than she'd thought. From the train ride and concert surprise, to the venue, to the food. She'd heard of Freya Ridings through a friend at work and had loved her voice. The more she'd heard, the more she was convinced Emily would like her. She'd found out about the concert by happenstance. She knew Freya had performed at Glastonbury a little while back but to have her in London and in the Gardens was too good to pass up. She hadn't been disappointed at the look on Emily's face once the music began.

She had meant to listen to the concert but was mesmerized as Emily reacted to the sounds. She was witnessing something intimate, something powerful. She tried keeping her eyes forward, didn't want to seem a creep by purely staring. Thankfully Emily kept closing her eyes and that made it easier. When she saw tears in her eyes, she was concerned it had been too much. She'd scooted closer and was reassured all was well. Her arm wound around the smaller woman's shoulders. She could feel her breath against her neck. The moisture from the falling tears. She prayed Emily couldn't feel the pounding of her heart.

The rest of the night melted into memory as the concert ended a few songs later. They remained sitting on the blanket until an usher mentioned they would be closing soon. Neither spoke much on the way home. But their hands stayed in each other's the entire trip. Even as Naomi parked and they made their way into Emily and James' flat, they remained in contact. As they lay in Emily's bed, they kissed but it didn't lead to anything more than sleep. Emily couldn't remember a better night's sleep in ages.

..

A couple of days later, Emily had been writing in her journal, part of her therapy. When the therapist suggested it, she thought it childish, something a lovelorn teen might do, but it had been helping. She'd been putting down thoughts, feelings, dreams and nightmares. At first she'd been embarrassed. The what if questions popping up nonstop. _What if someone reads it? What if that person thinks she's insane? What if that person was Naomi?_ More than once she'd thrown the book against the wall. The first time she had been by herself in the flat. The second time the thud caused James to knock on her door and ask if she was alright. After that, he'd learned to ignore the thud. There was a knock on her bedroom door and Emily looked up from the journal. "Come in." The door opened and Cook stood there with a smile on his face and a walker in front of him. "Cook!" She jumped from the bed and stopped short of pouncing on him. He laughed.

"Careful Red you might put me back in traction with all that excitement." She smiled at him and made gestures at him just standing there. "Yeah I wanted to surprise you. My pt guy said I could upgrade from the wheels. Still a ways to go but I'm getting there." She helped him into the room, making way for him to sit on the bed. He nodded at the journal. "Bestseller?"

"Not bloody likely. It's for my own therapy." She pushed it aside not that he would ever invade her privacy.

"How's 'at going?" He looked at his hands on his lap and avoided eye contact. She didn't notice as her own eyes were on the closed book. He could hear Effy's encouragement to be brave.

"Good... good as.. Seems I'm also on the road of getting there. Good days, bad days. But apparently I'm on the mend."

"That's good... real good." He looked at her but glanced away when she looked at him.

"What was that?" She finally noticed the edge to him. His posture was off.

"What?" His piss poor attempt at deflection made his inner voice groan.

"The look... you're not looking at me... what's going on? Did the doctor say something?" She moved closer to him. "Tell me it's not bad news..."

"What kind'a bad news could I have lil'one? I'm walkin' ain't I?" He shrugged and tried to will away his fear. He knew if she stared too long, she would see him trembling.

"You're acting dodgy. What's the matter?" She cast a look at her mobile wondering if she shouldn't call Effy and see what was going on.

"Nothing's the matter..." She was searching his face. He took her hand. "Honest. It's just... I've got something ta say and it ain't easy but it's not bad news ok? I promise."

"Out with it then. If it's not bad news then best get on with it." She gave him a smile and squeezed the clammy hand holding hers.

"I'm sorry." He whispered it. Had there been other noise in the room she wouldn't have heard. But she did hear. It simply baffled her.

"What?" He cleared his throat and repeated it.

"I'm sorry Ems..."

"What are you apologizing for?" She looked down and shook her head. A feeling of foreboding dread was creeping up on her.

"For everything. I should'a... I should'a done something to get you away from them. And I didn't... I let it go on..." She pulled her hand back.

"Don't Cook." Emily didn't want him to speak, didn't want him there.

"I hafta don't I? Otherwise... you're going to fill that book with half truths." His voice sounded a mix of anger and sadness and she had to look at him then.

"You don't know what I've written." Her own voice – a sharpness to it – accusatory.

"Not entirely... but I know it's clean... it's not the dirty stuff crawling through your bonce." She stood from the bed.

"Stop it." Emily crossed her arms and hugged herself. A feeble protection against what he was doing. He shook his head. "Why? Why are you doing this Cookie?" The image of the other night in the gardens was rushing to and away from her like waves from a turbulent sea. "I don't want to talk about this."

"So when do we talk? We wait til when?" He stood up. He couldn't remain seated. In fact, he wanted to run. But that voice that believed in him was keeping him steady.

"Why do we have to talk about this at all?" Emily spoke and her voice was small.

"Cause you hafta heal. Same as me."

"Same as you? Cook... you got worked over within an inch of your life. You're just walking again. I don't have any..."

"Broken bones? No. But you're plenty hurt. Plenty broken bits in yer head floating about."

"Even if..." She turned away from him. A cold chill running up her back. "You didn't do anything to me Cook. You don't need to apologize."

"I didn't do anything?" He scoffed. "A saint I was then. Fuck's sake Emily. I let them at you, didn't I? I didn't stop them." He could hear the anger in his voice but it wasn't towards her. It was at his inaction. If he had done something then, both of them would be whole.

"Cause you could have stopped them all on your own? You know what they were like. They'd have..."

"Aye, I know full well what those cunts were like. Luke more than anyone. Nothing he could have done ta me would have been worse."

"That's not true." She made a move to walk out of the room. "I can't listen to this."

"Don't make me chase you Red. You and I know I wouldn't catch you. Not right now." The pain of what he was saying

"That's the point ain't it. I leave and you can't say..."

"I won't come back." His gut tightened at the words. He knew this would be hard on both of them. Effy and he had talked about it, about what he might have to say, do. Talking about it hadn't been easy. But in the here and now, it was even harder.

"What?" The hollowness to her voice was like a knife through his chest.

"You heard me. You run away from what I'm saying and I won't come back... I'll wheel my sorry arse out o'this flat and not return... not to you. Not to anyone. I'll walk away from it all. From you. From Eff." He was thankful his voice didn't betray his emotions. It sounded harsh even to him.

"You can't." She hesitated. The look about him was much too serious. "You wouldn't..."

"I can and I will. If it makes you take a long 'ard look at what 'appened, what I did and didn't do."

"You didn't do anything to me!" Closing the distance between them, she yelled over his voice. She wanted him to shut up. More emotions crashed inside her. The music from the other night echoing in her mind.

"Maybe it'll be worth it, losing all o'you. If it's what I have to do to get you to open up to everything that happened. Not letting the wound scab over with an infection just under the skin." He kept talking.

"Why? What good is that? They're... gone."

"It's good cause It means you actually get to live Ems. You get to bring every shit they did to light. Instead o'pretending..."

"You think I'm pretending?" She could feel the anger really pushing against her skin.

"Ain't ya? This new you... dating thing like you're getting a do over. Like you're back in college and everything is magically perfect."

"Fuck you Cook. Fuck you if you think that's what this is." Hot tears fell as her anger boiled. She couldn't understand why he was still talking, why he needed to dredge things up like this. Why couldn't he just be happy for her? His hands were in his pockets as he stood before her.

"Living with the little brother... dating the blonde. 'appily ever after." He shrugged his shoulders. "Like nothin' bad ever 'appened."

"Don't..." In that moment, she felt queasy with anger and fear.

"Aww c'me on Red. Tell ol'Cookie how life is now. Tell him how perfect..."

"Fuck off. Get out." She struck his chest. Her own tightening. The room getting warmer. He grabbed her wrists.

"Tell me how nice it is... going to bed in yer own room... safe and snug under the covers..."

"Stop this."

"Stop what?" His grip on her wrists wasn't hard but it might as well have been a vise. "You said I didn't do anything to you. It's not true, is it?"

"Cookie..." She choked on his name. Those waves were coming faster at her now. The music was deafening.

"You remember what it was like, don't ya? Being in their grip, under their rule. Your sister using you for bait."

"Please... Cook..." As he spoke, memories – flashes – were there. She remembered. Not that she could forget but it was clear as day. The ache. The shame.

"Luke... shaping your sister's anger... bot'o'them tormenting you. But Cookie's no angel." She met his eyes then. She searched for reasons to do this, to say all of this.

"Don't." Emily urged him. He was seeing her but hearing his own memories.

"I'm not free from blame. There's right and wrong." He shook his head. "I let the wrong things 'appen yeah?"

"You were... you were undercover..." She said feebly. She needed to get out of here. She tried to get free of him but he wouldn't budge.

"You didn't know that then, did ya? Anyways, that's not what being an officer should be. I let Harry... Let him tell me what to ignore. You were a kid. I should've stood up to him. I should have gotten you far from Luke and Katie." Emily could hear a low growl and didn't realize it was coming from her. "But I didn't. Everything happened to you is as much my fault as theirs. It is. I know you want me make me into one of the good guys.."

"Stop it!. Fucking stop it Cook!" She screamed at him. She didn't recognize her own voice. "You protected me." Images of Cook driving her to and from appointments. The look in his eyes every time. He'd been angry, sad.

"I fucked you." He said it plainly. It was a shock to hear. To her. To him. She managed to yank her wrists from his hands and struck him. She hit him again and again. He barely felt it. She screamed at him as her fists pounded on his chest, his face. He didn't close his eyes. He didn't protect himself. It almost felt like the air was being poured into him with every blow. "I'm sorry. I am... if I could do it all again, I'd get you out of there."


End file.
